All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Beverly Hills 90210 alum, and recent Sarah Connor Chronicles comeback kid, Brian Austin Green may become the newest One Tree Hill resident, now that Hilarie Burton and Chad Michael Murray are hitting the bricks. An aside: Is it a prereq to have three names to be the lead dude on that show?

– Eminem, Bruno, staged, yes.

– The New York Post has a photo of Adam Lambert and his rumored boyfriend. Doesn’t the BF sorta look like Shia LaBeouf?

– Whatever happens in Vegas will show up on TV when Top Chef heads to Sin City for season six.

– Here’s one of TVGuide.com’s funnier lists: “TV Fat Guys with Hot Wives.” They forgot Mark Addy and Jami Gertz from Still Standing, though. Anyone else they forgot?

– Yes, in between fake apologizing on The Hills and ticking off his fellow D-listers on I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, Spencer Pratt is indeed trying to become the next Vanilla Ice.

– And I have to agree with Time mag’s James Poniewozik, who gives Spencer the award for “The Greatest TV Line of 2009” when he told NBC honcho Ben Silverman about the rest of the has-been/never-were cast, “This cast is devaluing our fame!” The truly sad thing is, Spencer probably has a point. I doubt Frangela or Sanjaya are pulling down the kind of bank Speidi is pulling down with their club appearances and … whatever else it is they do to make cash.

– One more Speidi item: TMZ claims that, after quitting the show twice during last night’s premiere, the Pratts quit – for reals – after the live portion of the show.

– Ex-lovers Heidi Fleiss and Tom Sizemore, whose relationship was tempestuous, to put it mildly, will reunite as co-stars on the new season of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. That cannot possibly be something that would ever be allowed to happen in real-life rehab, could it?

– And the Emmys will air a week earlier than planned this year. Because of a football game.