All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Britney Spears is reading tonight’s Top Ten list on The Late Show with David Letterman.

– The Wrap.com reports that Friends creator Marta Kauffman is teaming with ABC to adapt The Time Traveler’s Wife for TV.

– The Chima meltdown unfolds on Big Brother tonight.

– Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood star Tori Spelling says the key to reconciling with her mother is privacy, yet she’s discussing the matter publicly, with OK magazine …

– Ever wonder what Mr. Belding (Dennis Haskins) would sound like singing a karaoke version of “Brown Eyed Girl” or “Piano Man” or “Friends in Low Places”? Me neither, but it turns out that there’s a CD full of just such performances: Karaoke With Your Favorite Principal.

– Have you seen the video? Grey’s Anatomy star Eric “McSteamy” Dane and his actress wife Rebecca Gayheart are the latest celeb sex tape stars. Or at least, it appears to be a sex tape … the version you can see at Gawker.com doesn’t include sex, but the couple frolicking nekkid with former Miss USA Kari Ann Peniche.

– The third season premiere of Mad Men set a new record for the show. What did you think of the new episode? Were you shocked by the – no spoilers for those who TiVo’d – Sal development?

– Harsh is the only way to describe this one: A British actor who starred in a PSA about how to avoid getting swine flu actually got it.

– Comedian and King of Queens star Patton Oswalt has landed a role in the Battlestar Galactica prequel Caprica. He’ll play a comedian/talk show host, which is so odd – that a sci-fi show will regularly feature a talk show-within-the show – that I’m even more anxious to see the series now.

– Alias and Heroes baddie David Anders is the latest to join the cast of 24, possibly, probably, as a baddie.

– Bummed that The Hulk, Lou Ferrigno, is not among the new celebs on Dancing With the Stars for the upcoming season, but Tom DeLay (?!?) is.

– Yup, Real Housewives of Atlanta star NeNe was indeed a stripper.

– And tonight in primetime:
– It’s an explosive Big Brother (8PM ET, CBS)
– Who Wants to Be a Millionaire at 8PM (ABC)
– Patrick and Kat kiss – maybe – on 10 Things I Hate About You (8PM, ABC Family)
– The Hell’s Kitchen contestants must cook three-course, 700-calorie meals (8PM, Fox)
– Shaq takes on his fellow superstar athletes, in their sports, on the premiere of Shaq Vs. (9PM, ABC)
– Luke sends two of the final eight women home on More to Love (9M, Fox)
– It’s the Miami Social season finale at 9PM (Bravo)
– Pete and Mika head to Washington on Warehouse 13 (9PM, SyFy)
– America’s Got Talent at 9PM (NBC)
– More season finales: Hawthorne (9PM, TNT) and Saving Grace (10PM, TNT)
– It’s a new season of Flipping Out with Jeff on Bravo (10PM)
– Kelly Ripa and hubby Mark Consuelos are producing Master of Reception, the new TLC reality series (10PM) about a family of wedding planner/venue owners in New Jersey
– New season of The Secret Lives of Women on WE (10PM)
– Lou and the guys wreak havoc in a grocery store on Rescue Me (10PM, FX)
– Meet teen fashion designer Jazmin on House of Jazmin (10:30PM, MTV)