All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– If Simon Cowell really did bring his hit British reality singing show The X Factor to America, would it bite into American Idol‘s audience? We may find out, as a U.S. version of the show is said to be part of Fox’s deal to keep Cowell on Idol.

– Office Space co-star Stephen Root will play a parole officer on 24 next season.

– MTV is likely to go ahead with airing its DJ AM drug intervention reality series, in spite of DJ AM’s death, which was possibly drug-related, last month.

– ABC scored big ratings for its Wednesday night premieres of comedies Modern Family and Cougar Town (despite that icky scene with Courteney Cox‘s teenage son walking in on her having sex with her much younger love interest … ew).

– Mackenzie Phillips‘ stepmother, Mamas and Papas singer and actress Michelle Phillips, says One Day at a Time star Mackenzie is lying about having been raped by her father, John Phillips, but Michelle and John Phillips’ daughter, Wilson Phillips singer Chynna, says she believes her half-sister. In fact, Chynna is appearing with her half-sib when Mackenzie revisits Oprah on Friday.

– Original Survivor winner Richard Hatch will have to serve the rest of his tax evasion sentence in jail, not in home confinement, after giving what were deemed unauthorized media interviews.

– Dirty Sexy Money, Hung and Passions alum Natalie Zea will be a regular on FX’s upcoming lawman series Lawman, where she’ll play the ex-wife of series star Timothy Olyphant.

– One Tree Hill has gotten a full-season pick-up at The CW, while the network has also ordered more episodes of The Vampire Diaries and Melrose Place.

– Saturday Night Live alum Jim Breuer is developing an NBC sitcom based on his real life, in which he put his career on hold to stay at home and raise his three daughters and care for his parents.

– And US Weekly has details from Screech’s (Dustin Diamond) “tell-all” book about his Saved by the Bell days. His big reveals: He alleges that Zack used steroids, Slater was a man ho and Jessie and Kelly hooked up with their costars. So not shocking, even if all of it is true.

– And tonight in primetime:

– Russell continues his wicked ways on Survivor: Samoa (8PM ET, CBS)
– New ep of Saturday Night Live Weekend Update Thursday at 8PM on NBC
– Booth is ticked off about Brennan’s book success on Bones (8PM, Fox)
– Stefan joins the football team on The Vampire Diaries (8PM, The CW)
– Leslie tries to find out who planted weed in her community garden on Parks and Recreation (8:30PM, NBC)
– It’s CSI‘s 10th season premiere on CBS at 9PM
– The Fringe team heads to Pennsylvania to investigate the disappearance of a construction worker (9PM, Fox)
– Medical dramarama season six with Grey’s Anatomy at 9PM (ABC)
– Sam wants to give up the demon hunting biz, but a visitor changes his mind on Supernatural (9PM, The CW)
– New episode of The Police Women of Broward County on TLC at 9PM
– Effy brings special, um, refreshments, on a camping trip on Skins (9PM, BBCA)
– Dwight thinks Darryl’s trying to scam the company on The Office (9PM, NBC)
– Jeff tries to become Britta’s Spanish partner on Community (9:30PM, NBC)
– New Project Runway challenge on Lifetime (10PM)
– The second season of The Mentalist hits CBS in its new night and time (10PM)
– Is there anything we don’t already know about Bobby Brown after his reality show with Whitney? We’ll find out on Behind the Music: Bobby Brown (10PM, VH1)
– It’s the fourth night of Sundance Channel’s Brick City miniseries on the state of affairs in Newark, New Jersey (10PM)
– Rush Limbaugh guests on The Jay Leno Show (10PM, NBC)
– Kim‘s Big Poppa is back in the picture on The Real Housewives of New Jersey (10PM, Bravo)
– Duff is asked to throw the first pitch at an Orioles game on Ace of Cakes (10PM, Food Network)
– New LA Ink on TLC (10PM)
– The gang heads out on a road trip to the Grand Canyon on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (10PM, FX). Do they actually make it there? Well …

NEW SERIES PREMIERE ALERTS:
– FLASHFORWARD (8PM, ABC) Joseph Fiennes, Dominic Monaghan and John Cho star in the sci-fi-ish drama about a mysterious event that causes most people to “flash forward” for two minutes and 17 seconds and get a glimpse at their futures … what does it all mean? And can they change those futures?
VERDICT: ABC hopes the show will be its Lost replacement with Lost‘s final season set to debut at midseason, and FlashForward definitely has that potential. Enough potential to make it worth the risk of getting hooked on another serial drama that may not make it past season one, in fact.