All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– A cancer-stricken comedian who has been petitioning for a spot on The Late Show with David Letterman finally gets his shot Friday night.

– Thank you L.A. Times for this handy dandy guide to fall TV premiere dates.

– Time mag has pics of Jay Leno‘s new primetime set.

– Spencer Pratt is ticked off that Ryan Seacrest picked Heidi Montag Pratt as the reality star he’d most like to see get Tased. Spencer should probably just be happy someone has already done it.

– Love how crafty the networks are getting with series promos for the new fall season.

– Former Laker (and former Vanessa Williams hubby) Rick Fox will pop up on The CW’s Melrose Place revamp.

– Angie Harmon is the latest celeb to sign on for a Chuck guest gig, and she’ll play a spy chick who wants to do harm to Captain Awesome (Ryan McPartlin). Bad spy chick!

– Two new female cast members on Saturday Night Live means two of last year’s female cast members – Casey Wilson and Michaela Watkins – got the boot.

– Do you live in NYC, Chicago, L.A., Philly or Boston? Then you might want to snag some free ice cream from a Melrose Place party limo. I know, it makes no sense until you read the story.

– And this weekend in primetime:

FRIDAY
– Tune in to USA RIGHT NOW for a Monk marathon
– Ditto a Eureka marathon on SyFy
– A&E unspools nine hours of Criminal Minds (7PM ET)
– Dean Cain competes on Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? (8PM, Fox)
– There’s another shot to catch the Glee pilot (9PM, Fox) before next week’s season premiere
– TV Land airs a comedy gem tonight at 9PM: Goldie Hawn in Private Benjamin
– And on CMT: Caddyshack at 9:30PM
– Aaron and Chris head to Chicago for tonight’s Chefs vs. City (10PM, Food Network)
– The team tries to save a video game console on Catch It Keep It (10PM, Science)
– 20/20 follows one Amish teen through Rumspringa (10PM, ABC)
– A new episode of Dominick Dunne’s Power, Privilege, and Justice (10PM, truTV) focuses on the Robert Blake murder trial
– New ep of The Soup at 10PM on E!

SATURDAY
– It’s seven hours of Golden Girls on WE (6PM)
– Nine hours of MythBusters on Discovery (6PM)
– SyFy’s movie of the week: Merlin and the War of the Dragons (9PM)
– The third season of The Bill Engvall Show wraps on TBS at 9:30PM

SUNDAY
– Ruby wraps her second season by chatting with kids at a weight loss camp (8PM, Style)
– Nominations for eviction are revealed on Big Brother 11 (8PM, CBS)
– Jerry Lewis‘ annual MDA Telethon kicks off at 9PM (check local listings for channel) – here’s hoping he breaks last year’s record haul of $65 million
– New episode of There Goes the Neighborhood at 9PM (CBS)
– More stressed out brides on Bridezillas (9PM, WE)
– A 450-pound teen tries to get healthy on the Style special Too Fat for 15 (9PM)
– The sharks are circling over an Internet business idea on Shark Tank (9PM, ABC)
– My most favorite TiVo-worthy cable show of the summer: Pawn Stars (10PM, History)
– It’s Halloween on Defying Gravity (10PM, ABC)
– A bride wants her cake to match her dress on Amazing Wedding Cakes (10PM, WE)
– Peggy tries to find a new roommate on Mad Men (10PM, AMC)
– Jason Priestley, Tiffani Thiessen and Kathy Griffin get room makeovers on HGTV Design Star (10PM, HGTV)

MONDAY
– On the summer finale of The Secret Life of the American Teenager (8PM, ABC Family), everyone’s suffering from relationship problems
– It’s father-daughter weekend at ZBZ on Greek (9PM, ABC Family)
– Unwrapped unwraps the hole – ha! – truth about doughnuts on Food Network (9PM)
– The History Channel has a documentary on Charles Manson at 9PM
– Rachel lets Brad help Anne Hathaway get ready for the Oscars on The Rachel Zoe Project (10PM, Bravo)
– E! special: The Soup: TV Love at Its Soupiest (10PM)
– New Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives at 10PM on Food Network
– Pastry chefs make cakes for a square dancing convention on Ultimate Cake Off (10PM, TLC)
– Tony explores eateries in the outer boroughs of NYC on Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (10PM, Travel Channel)