All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Luke Wilson has signed on to star as Laura Dern‘s druggie ex-hubby in the HBO comedy pilot Enlightened.

– The cast for Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, which premieres on CBS on Feb. 11, has been revealed, and fan favorite Rupert Boneham is among them. Other famous and infamous returnees: Season two runner-up Colby Donaldson, season 10 winner Tom Westman, season seven winner Sandra Diaz-Twine, season two’s Jerri Manthey, season four and All-Stars alum Rob Mariano and recent runner-up Russell Hantz.

– Could last night’s “shocking” Desperate Housewives death have been any less shocking?

– Sitcoms Online.com has a great preview of the sitcoms that will released on DVD in 2010.

– Kim Raver‘s Grey’s Anatomy guest gig is turning into a full-time job.

– Dexter star Julie Benz has landed on Desperate Housewives. Warning: If you don’t want to know why she’s available to hang out on Wisteria Lane now, there are maaaajor Dexter season four spoilers in the story.

– Hulk Hogan makes his TNA TV wrestling debut tonight.

– Is Kate Gosselin turning to a reality TV show to find a new hubby? That’s the rumor, according to Popeater.com. I have to admit that I’m curious about the kind of guy who would sign on to date that woman, with that many kids.

– It’s official: Former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich will compete on the next season of Celebrity Apprentice, along with Bret Michaels, Sharon Osbourne, Darryl Strawberry, Cyndi Lauper and the recently bankrupt Sinbad.

– We already know viewers have been fleeing The Jay Leno Show, a.k.a. NBC’s 10PM hour, and now we know where they’re going: cable, and shows like Sons of Anarchy, Teen Mom and one of my new faves, Men of a Certain Age.

– Kathy Griffin said something “vulgar” during her New Year’s Eve CNN broadcast with Anderson Cooper … shocking. Isn’t that why they hire her, really? Her banter with Cooper, and his reaction when she says something naughty, is what makes them fun to watch.

– And tonight in primetime: Jake Pavelka, who tried (and failed, obviously) to win the hand of Jillian Harris on the last season of The Bachelorette, becomes the latest Bachelor as season 14 of The Bachelor debuts (8PM ET, ABC); also debuting its 14th season: Antiques Roadshow (8PM, PBS); a movie several of the Bachelor contestants may want to DVR: He’s Just Not That Into You airs on HBO (8PM); ABC Family’s Secret Life of the American Teenager returns with new episodes (8PM); Buddy and company have to bake 50 wedding cakes in a week on Cake Boss (9PM, TLC); a new Unwrapped (9PM, Food Network) looks at famous foods like Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and Wolfgang Puck pizzas; Owen and his fam have to move in with his father temporarily on Men of a Certain Age (10PM, TNT); and, sadly, the title of the new reality show Conveyor Belt of Love (10PM, ABC) is literal: Men on a conveyor belt pass by women and have 60 seconds to try and convince the women of their sponge-worthiness.