(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM | NBC
The Office – Remember Threat Level Midnight, that script the gang found in Michael’s desk? Well, it turns out he actually produced the movie (with staffers current and former as the cast), and tonight he’s going to unspool his “Michael Scott Joint” for Holly and the gang. Their reviews? Well, he might have a tough time finding even two thumbs up.

8PM | FOX
American Idol – Hollywood rounds, third episode. Don’t worry, we’re almost there. Next week: the top 20 is revealed.

8PM | CBS
The Big Bang Theory – Leonard starts dating Raj’s sister again.

8PM | NBC
Community – Pierce pretends to be dead and leaves the study group with final gifts, but the dead dude’s gifts turn out to be even more troubling than Pierce’s usual shenanigans.

8PM | THE CW
The Vampire Diaries – Stefan ‘fesses up to Elena that he used to be a vicious murderer who killed members of her family. Ladies … dealbreaker?

9PM | CBS
CSI – Justin Bieber returns as troubled teen Jason McCann, who warns Nick about a dangerous situation.

9PM | DISCOVERY – 6TH SEASON PREMIERE
Man vs. Wild – Bear sees it all in Arizona, from scorching deserts to bone-chillingly cold mountains.

9:30PM | NBC
Parks and Recreation – While Andy tries to woo April back, Ben is haunted by his past as a famous teen mayor.

10PM | NBC
30 Rock – This sounds like a triple winner: Jenna tries to help Liz rebound from her breakup with Carol, Jack loses his business mojo when the baby keeps him from sleeping and Frank and Pete form a rock band (so getting visions of Jeffster! here).

10PM | FX
Archer – While Archer and Lana are off in New Orleans on a case (well, and to get a vacay in the Big Easy, as far as Archer’s concerned), Mallory orders the office to go green … yep, she wants the “freebie socialist tax credits.”

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– The Yule Log Jam and, of course, the Big Balls are among the obstacles on Winter Wipeout (8PM, ABC);
– Infamous Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Camille Grammer guest stars in the first season finale of $#*! My Dad Says (8:30PM, CBS);
– Harsh: a wedding planner is found dead, in a tanning bed, on Valentine’s Day on Bones (9PM, Fox);
– On Grey’s Anatomy (9PM, ABC), Bailey and Eli, um, connect;
– When Alex is double crossed by a friend, guess who has to rescue her? Yep, Michael and Nikita (9PM, The CW);
– Colleen participates in a major prostitution sting on Police Women of Cincinnati (9PM, TLC);
– Hank thinks there’s a medical reason a woman can’t relax in the Hamptons on Royal Pains (9PM, USA);
– Country crooner Clay Walker is shocked by the prices when he looks for a Big Apple home on Selling New York (9PM, HGTV);
– Ronnie bums about Sammi‘s departure and Deena gets so sloppy drunk that Situation anoints her the “sloppopotamus” on The Jersey Shore (10PM, MTV);
– Hightower goes into the field with Jane when Lisbon is injured on The Mentalist (10PM, CBS);
– Addison returns home, with her friends in tow, on Private Practice (10PM, ABC);
– Chris Elliott stars in a new Eagleheart on Adult Swim (11:59PM, Cartoon Network).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Martin Short and Chris Bosh;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Ed Gillespie;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): TBA;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Nathan Fillion, Paris Hilton and the Scissor Sisters;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Jenna Fischer and Abigail Breslin;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): J-WOWW, Far East Movement and Hayden Panettiere;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Jason Sudekis and Keri Hilson;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Michael Showalter and William H. Macy;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Sarah Chalke and Louie Anderson;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Director David O. Russell.