I’ve recently become bored with my WALL-E action figure, my Dwight Schrute bobblehead and my talking Napoleon Dynamite pen. In other words, I am in need of some new desk toys, which sent me on a hunt for a few craptacular TV-themed tchotchkes to help bring the fun to my workspace and, most importantly, give me the oh-so-important procrastination tools that every person who works at a desk every day needs.
So, my top 10 TV desk toy finds …
The Chef Duff Minimate
A 2-inch representation of Ace of Cakes master baker Duff Goldman, with 10 accessories, including two mini cakes, a spatula, a guitar and a chainsaw (hey, it’s Duff).
Cost: A mere $8. (Hours of procrastination it will provide: Priceless).
30 Rock Kenneth the Page Talking Bobblehead
Says phrases like “Frankly, LaDonica, you have not been real helpful,” “It’s gonna get raw in here like sushi, so haters to the left” and “I just love television so much.” Amen, Ken.
SNL More Cowbell Kit
“Guess what?! I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription … is more cowbell!”
Psych Pineapple Stress Toy
Because squeezing a real pineapple could be considerably more painful.
Lost Dharma Rubik’s Cube
Easier to solve than the show’s intricate plotlines!
Dayman Heat Sensitive Mug
Add hot water, and The Nightman appears. Brilliant! Don’t just want this It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia mug. I need to own this.
Jack Bauer 12-inch Action Figure
A foot-tall Jack Bauer. He’ll make sure all the other desk toys toe the line.
Talking Hurley Reyes Action Figure
American Idol Microphone Pops
They light up, they play music, they have a lollipop and fruit-flavored gum inside and are shaped like microphones. It’s the toy that has it all. Good favors for an AI finale party, too.
Jack Bauer iPod Shuffle
I’d like one in pink. What … are you suggesting a real man like Jack Bauer would be uncomfortable spinning tunes from a pink device? Say that to his face, punk.
All the tube news that’s fit to surf …
– The year’s biggest American Idol shocker could turn out to be that Kris Allen earned himself a spot in the final two with his memorable spin on Kanye West‘s “Heartless” on last night’s Idol.
– Jim Krasinski says to expect a cool Jim/Pam story in Thursday night’s fifth-season finale of The Office.
– Discovery Channel is planning a high-def sequel to its incredible Planet Earth series, called Wild Planet: North America.
– Mark Valley, who’s gotten lost in the shuffle on shows like Boston Legal and Fringe after his terrific, but cancelled-too-soon dramedy Keen Eddie, may finally have landed another great series. Fox is reportedly moving forward with Human, based on a DC Comic, in which Valley stars as Christopher Chance, a guy who offers security for hire services by assuming the identities of people in danger (i.e. he becomes the “target” for them). Jackie Earle Haley and Chi McBride are also among the cool cast.
– Alanis Morissette will play Nancy’s (Mary-Louise Parker) baby doctor when Weeds begins its fifth season on June 8.
– Chad Michael Murray and Hilarie Burton will not be returning to One Tree Hill next season, as has been the rumor for months.
– Guess who thinks there should be a Creed-centric episode of The Office? Creed. I totally agree.
– Like Rodney Dangerfield, Tony Danza is going back to school. Danza, who admits that “nobody’s knocking down (his) door for acting jobs,” will teach 10th grade English in a New York City school, and film the whole experience for an A&E reality series. That’s one of the more interesting, and least sleazy, reality show ideas to pop up in quite a while.
– A&E is all about the celebreality genre next season, in fact, with other new shows on the horizon from Shaq, Bob Saget, MC Hammer and Steven Seagal, while most of the network’s other new shows fall into the crime drama category. The best news: Parking Wars will be back for another season.
– Jamie Foxx will host the BET Awards on June 28 in Los Angeles, with performances by Ne-Yo and Maxwell.
– Starz has given Party Down, an underrated comedy that you should be watching, a second-season pick-up.
– And Paulina Porizkova explained her firing from America’s Next Top Model to Craig Ferguson last night.
All the tube news that’s fit to surf …
– Tonight’s Real Housewives of New York City reunion special is promising HUGE drama, including a well-deserved smackdown for the uber-annoying Ramona.
– And it’s a doubleheader of catty reality drama, as The Real Housewives of New Jersey debuts tonight, too.
– Dr. Oz bids Oprah adieu today, as the TV doc prepares to launch his own talk show in September.
– NBC will air a two-hour special devoted to TV’s best catchphrases on May 26. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
– The Jon & Kate saga gets juicier: Now there’s gossip that Jon’s not the only one who’s engaging in extracurricular activities.
– NBC has passed on the pilot for a new David E. Kelley legal drama. Given some of the crazy antics and storylines of the last couple of seasons of Boston Legal, that seems like a good idea. It’s probably time for Kelley to tackle a new topic.
– Sadly for Gilmore Girls fans, Lauren Graham‘s sitcom pilot is also reportedly dead at ABC.
– Scrubs, meanwhile, is looking less and less dead.
– Mama Partridge … naked?!?! No. No, no, no, no, no.
– Simon Cowell is yet again predicting that Adam Lambert will win American Idol. Duh.
– Seen the pictures of Kiefer Sutherland‘s alleged victim in Headbuttgate? So, we probably don’t know the whole story yet, but all these photos show is a dude with a bandage on his nose. Anyone can put a bandage on a nose – it’s no proof of what damage is or isn’t underneath it. Just sayin’.
Wondering what Adam Lambert, Danny Gokey and Kris Allen might sing tomorrow night (Fox, 8PM ET), as the top three American Idol finalists take the stage to perform tunes selected for them by the judges?
AJC.com has shared some alleged scoop: Danny will sing Terence Trent D’Arby‘s “Dance Little Sister,” Kris will sing One Republic‘s “Apologize” and Adam will reprotedly croon U2‘s “One” and/or Chris Isaak‘s “Wicked Game.”
The Kris and Adam picks seem right on, but the D’Arby tune seems a little upbeat for Danny. His voice matches up to D’Arby’s, but let’s be honest, Gokey hasn’t really proved that he knows how to get down and funky with his bad self.
Whatcha think? What would be your perfect pick for each of the three finalists?
All the tube news that’s fit to surf …
– I still can’t believe that Adam Lambert‘s sexuality is such an issue … like being gay in the entertainment industry is such a new phenomenon? Or being gay on American Idol for that matter. Whatever. Adam lands a solo cover on the new Entertainment Weekly, even before he wins the show, as “the most exciting American Idol contestant in years.” Can’t argue with that.
– It’s not Project Runway, but the Runway-ish The Fashion Show, which debuts tonight on Bravo (10PM ET), does have the fabulous Isaac Mizrahi.
– Even if the Mer/Der wedding does go down, will it be one of the best tube weddings ever? Maybe one of the worst? I countdown a few of each at Hollywood.com today.
– Are you more or less likely to watch the new season of Jon & Kate Plus 8 on May 25, given the whole affair brouhaha?
– Tomorrow’s Good Morning America will feature Diane Sawyer’s interview with Connie Culp, the woman whose face transplant made headlines this week.
– Chuck executive producer McG weighs in optimistically to Sci Fi Wire about the show’s chances for a third season on NBC. It’s tough to remember the last time an on-the-bubble series generated as much support and good will as Chuck has, so here’s hoping again that it returns next season.
– Seth Green and his Robot Chicken cohorts are bringing another show to Adult Swim.
– Only The Big O could incite riots by trying to give away some damn chicken.
– Is it just me, or do most of the contestants on the new season of The Bachelorette look alike?
– And Simon Cowell reportedly earns $36 million a season for American Idol, while co-judge Paula Abdul nets “just” $2 million. Sounds right to me.
Charlie Sheen, Russell Brand and Louis C.K. are getting most of the attention, but I’m most excited that one of the best new shows of last TV season — Wilfred — returns for its second season on FX tonight (10PM ET). Season one of the series ended with a cliffhanger — had Ryan (Elijah Wood) […]
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