(ALL TIMES ET)

8 and 8:30PM | ABC
Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown and A Charlie Brown Valentine – Poor Blockhead. All Charlie Brown wants in these two specials, from 1975 and 2002, respectively, is a Valentine’s Day card and some attention from the little red-haired girl. Meanwhile, Lucy awaits her own romantic communiqué from Schroeder, Sally wants Linus to love her as much as he loves his blanket and Snoopy busts out his typewriter to compose the perfect love poem.

6:30PM | THE HUB – SERIES PREMIERE
Transformers Prime – Yep, it’s an all-new Transformers series, but the same old enemies duke it out for control of the earth. In the opener, “Masters & Students,” Optimus Prime and Bumblebee take on Skyquake.

8PM | THE CW
Smallville – With just six episodes left until the series finale, tonight’s action revolves around the ‘rents, as Clark’s mama gets shot at a pro-vigilante rally on TV and Lionel Luthor takes back his company.

8PM | NBC
Who Do You Think You Are? – Tim McGraw researches his dad’s (late Phillies pitcher Tug McGraw) ancestry and finds a connection to George Washington.

9PM | NGC – SERIES PREMIERE
Auction Packed – Why are we all so fascinated by the accumulation and selling of other people’s junk? I dunno, but as shows like this and Storage Wars prove, we are.

9PM | CBS
CSI:NY – The hitmaker plays a hit man: Grammy winner Ne-Yo guest stars as a man who kidnaps a woman and gives the CSI gang something to investigate tonight.

9PM | TEENNICK
Degrassi – Anya starts a romance with Chris … Dr. Chris … the much older Dr. Chris, who doesn’t know that she’s only 17.

9PM | FOX
Fringe – A flesh-eating insect is running amuck! Looks like even the alt universe isn’t immune to the bedbug invasion.

9PM | THE CW
Supernatural – Sam and Dean head off to Anytown USA, where, it turns out, Sam previously lived and engaged in some not-so-great behavior.

10PM | CURRENT – SERIES PREMIERE
Bar Karma – A guy walks into a bar … and you decide what he does after that. If you loved those “choose your own ending” books as a kid, this cool new series, in which viewers get to help decide everything from what happens to the characters to what music is playing in the titular bar, is worth a look. As for the story, Internet mogul Doug Jones (Matthew Humphreys) wins Bar Karma in a poker game. The Bar is run by 20,000-year-old bartender James (Newhart and Deadwood star William Sanderson), who, during every Happy Hour, helps one patron who’s “at a karmic crossroads” decide which path to take. Via the show’s Website, the viewer actually helps make the decisions, and the producers of the new series promise to include the names of those who make significant contributions in the show’s credits.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
- Adam Sandler hangs out on Live with Regis and Kelly (Check local listings for time and channel);
- It’s a “where are they now” installment on Kitchen Nightmares (8PM, Fox), when chef Gordo revisits some of the restaurants he’s tried to help;
- A couple gets married in a mud pit on My Big Redneck Wedding (8:30PM, CMT);
- And 20/20 (10PM, ABC) tells the story of the Kims, a California family that took one wrong turn off the interstate in 2006 and ended up stranded in their car in a snowstorm for more than a week.

And the late-night line-up:
- The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Ed Helms and The Deers;
- The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Kathy Griffin, Gayle King and The Black Keys;
- Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): TBA (REPEAT);
- Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Adam Sandler and Aziz Ansari;
- The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Jason Biggs and Jennifer Ouellette;
- Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Brooklyn Decker, Chuck Brown and singer Clare Burson.

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• Filed in Cartoons, Holiday Programming, TV Picks
• Tags: A Charlie Brown Valentine, Auction Packed, Bar Karma, Be My Valentine Charlie Brown, CSI:NY, Degrassi, Fringe, Smallville, Supernatural, Transformers Prime, Who Do You Think You Are

Happy New Year and happy TV viewing this week!

NEW YEAR’S EVE, Thursday Dec. 31 (all times ET)

MARATHONS:

Burn Notice (USA): 6AM-6AM (Friday)

Fact-based movies marathon: Willing to Kill: The Texas Cheerleader Story, The Stranger I Married, Outrage in Glen Ridge, A Mother’s Fight for Justice, Amber Frey: Witness for the Prosecution, Ann Rule’s Everything She Ever Wanted, Ann Rule’s Too Late to Say Goodbye, No One Would Tell, A Date with Darkness: The Trial and Capture of Andrew Luster and A Little Thing Called Murder (Lifetime Movie Network): 6AM-6AM (Friday)

How Do They Do It? (Science Channel): 6AM-3AM (Friday)

Mystery Diagnosis (TLC): 6AM-Noon

House Hunters International (HGTV): 6:30AM-8PM

Alfred Hitchcock movie marathon: The Man Who Knew Too Much, Marnie, Shadow of a Doubt, Psycho, Vertigo and Rear Window (TCM): 7AM-8PM

Three Stooges (AMC): 7AM-6AM (Friday)

The Biggest Loser season three (Bravo): 8AM-8PM

The First 48 (A&E): 8AM-4AM (Friday)

Lifetime Viewer’s Choice Movie Marathon: Acceptance, America, Personal Effects, Nora Roberts’ Midnight Bayou, Prayers For Bobby, Sorority Wars, Maneater and Nora Roberts’ Northern Lights (a.k.a. the movie that allegedly broke up LeAnn Rimes‘ and Eddie Cibrian‘s marriages) (Lifetime): 8AM-2AM (Friday)

Strange Rituals (History): 8AM-Noon and 2-7PM

The Thin Man movies marathon: The Thin Man, After the Thin Man, Another Thin Man, Shadow of the Thin Man, The Thin Man Goes Home and Song of the Thin Man (TCM): 8AM-6:45AM (Friday)

Twilight Zone (SyFy): 8:30AM-6AM (Saturday, Jan. 2)

1 vs. 100 (GSN): 9AM-3PM

Ghost Lab (Discovery): 9AM-3AM (Friday)

Rehab: Party at the Hard Rock Hotel (truTV): 9AM-7PM

SpongeBob SquarePants (Nick): 9AM-8PM

Wolf Lake (Chiller): 10AM-7PM

Las Vegas (TNT): 11AM-7PM

Living With Ed (Green): 11AM-3PM

Notarized: Top 100 Videos of 2009 (BET): 11AM-11PM

Bizarre Foods With Andrew Zimmern (Travel): Noon-3AM

Clean House (Style): Noon-11PM

Platinum Weddings (WE): Noon-5PM

Snapped (Oxygen): Noon-2AM

Untold Stories of the E.R. (TLC): Noon-6PM

American Ninja Warrior (G4): 12:30-4:30PM

Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo): 1-5:30PM

America’s Funniest Home Videos (ABC Family): 3-11PM

Next Food Network Star season five (Food Network): 3PM-3AM (Friday)

Cold Blood (ID): 5PM-2AM (Friday)

Embedded (Current): 7PM-5AM (Friday)

Gangland (History): 7-11PM

A New Year’s Eve of Debauchery: My Husband’s Three Wives, Forbidden Love, Anatomy of Sex and Strange Sex (TLC): 7-11PM

30 Rock (NBC): 8-10PM

House Hunters (HGTV): 8PM-4AM (Friday)

New Year’s Toast-athon (FLN): 8PM-Midnight

Sarah Silverman Program (Logo): 9PM-Midnight

South Park (Comedy Central): 9PM-1AM

AND:
- Live From Lincoln Center: The New York Philharmonic (PBS): Check local listings for time and channel
- Fast Times at Ridgemont High (Encore): 1:15PM (you’ve seen it in edited basic cable format so many times … remember how much funnier it is unedited?)
- Fletch (Encore): 2:50PM (ditto)
- WALL-E (Starz): 4:15PM
- New Year’s Star Showdown (Disney): 6PM
- The Graham Norton Show New Year’s Eve Special (BBC America): 8PM
- 2009: That Really Happened?! (VH1): 10PM
- Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest (ABC): 10PM
- Jersey Shore (MTV): 10PM
- New Year’s Eve with Carson Daly (NBC): 10PM
- Billboard New Year’s Eve (Fox): 11PM
- New Year’s Eve Live With Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin (CNN): 11PM
- New Year. No Limits (ESPN): 11PM
- South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (Comedy Central): 1AM

NEW YEAR’S DAY, Friday Jan. 1 (all times ET)

MARATHONS:

Doctor Who (BBC America): Midnight-10PM (Saturday, Jan. 2)

Hung season one (HBO): Midnight-5:30AM

Rocky I-V (Encore): Midnight-9AM and 9AM-6PM

Ghost Adventures (Travel): 3AM-3PM

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Logo): 6AM-Midnight

How’s It Made? (Science Channel): 6AM-3AM (Saturday)

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (USA): 6AM-6AM (Saturday)

Tom and Jerry (Boomerang): 6AM-6AM (Saturday, Jan. 2)

Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? (Style): 6AM-Noon

James Stewart movie marathon: Bell, Book and Candle, Anatomy of a Murder, The Stratton Story, The Man From Laramie, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance and How the West Was Won (TCM): 6:45AM-8PM

Disaster House (DIY): 7AM-4AM (Saturday)

New Year’s Weigh Marathon: The Biggest Loser: Couples (FLN): 7AM-Midnight

Criminal Minds (A&E): 8AM-4AM (Saturday)

Dance Your Ass Off (Oxygen): 8AM-8PM

Ice Road Truckers (History): 8AM-8PM

Looney Tunes (Cartoon Network): 8AM-7PM

Cats 101 and Dogs 101 (Animal Planet): 9AM-5PM

Cheaters (G4): 9AM-9PM

Family Feud (GSN): 9AM-3PM

Lethal Weapon I-IV (Spike): 9AM-7PM

Martin (TVOne): 9AM-6AM (Saturday)

MythBusters (Discovery): 9AM-3AM (Saturday)

Teen Mom (MTV): 9AM-1PM

Golden Girls (WE): 10AM-7PM

Notarized: Top 100 Videos of 2009 (BET): 10AM-10PM

Speed Racer: The Next Generation (NickToons): 10AM-10:30PM

Beef (FUSE): 11AM-6AM (Saturday)

Jennifer Aniston movie marathon: The Good Girl, Friends With Money, Rumor Has It, Derailed, The Break-Up and Management (Lifetime): 11AM-11PM

Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami (E!): 11AM-3PM

The Matrix movie trilogy (AMC): 11AM-8PM

Wicked Attraction (ID): 11AM-5PM

Ghostbusters I and II (Comedy Central): Noon-5PM

Lockup (MSNBC): Noon-10PM

National Geographic Moments: Most Extreme Moments, Most Astounding Moments, Most Amazing Moments, Most Thrilling Moments, Most Dangerous Moments, Most Astonishing Moments and Most Daring Moments (NGC): Noon-7PM

Sonny With a Chance (Disney): Noon-Midnight

Supernanny (Style): Noon-6PM

Next Iron Chef (Food Network): 12:30-9PM

Degrassi: The Next Generation (TeenNick): 1PM-2AM (Sunday, Jan. 3)

Most Shocking (truTV): 1-7PM

American Greed: Scams, Scoundrel and Scandals (CNBC): 2-7PM

Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? (CMT): 2-9PM

One Tree Hill (SoapNet): 2PM-Midnight

America’s Funniest Home Videos (ABC Family): 3-11PM

Criminal Minds (Ion): 4PM-Midnight

Jersey Shore (MTV): 4-8PM

Weight-themed programming: I Eat 33,000 Calories a Day, World’s Heaviest Man, Half-Ton Teen: Confronting Addiction, Half-Ton Dad, Half-Ton Mom, 650-lb. Virgin and 650-lb. Virgin: The Weight Is Over (TLC): 4PM-11PM

Married … with Children (TV Land): 4:30-9PM

Deadly Women (ID): 5PM-2AM (Saturday)

Pit Bulls and Parolees (Animal Planet): 5PM-6AM (Saturday)

100 Greatest One-Hit Wonders of the ’80s (VH1 Classic): 6-11PM

Bait Car (truTV): 7-11PM

Fearless Planet (Green): 8PM-2AM (Saturday)

Pawn Stars (History): 8-11PM

AND:
- To Die For (the most underrated movie on Nicole Kidman’s resume, and a campy drama based on the real-life Pamela Smart case) (Showtime): 11AM
- Tournament of Roses Parade (ABC, NBC): 11AM
- Top 40 Videos of 2009 (VH1): Noon
- There’s Something About Mary (one of my go-to feel-good flicks, and a great way to start off the new year) (FX): 8PM
- Better Off Ted (ABC): 8:30PM
- Scrubs (ABC): 9PM
- DogTown fourth season premiere (NGC): 10PM
- Friday Night Alright series premiere (with Pink)  (VH1): 11PM

• 1 Comment
• Filed in Holiday Programming
• Tags: New Year's Day TV, New Year's Day TV marathons, New Year's Eve TV, New Year's Eve TV marathons, New Year's TV, New Year's TV marathons, Twilight Zone marathon

Here’s a very merry Christmas Eve treat: Billboard.com is hosting a live Christmas Eve streaming of the Brian Setzer Orchestra‘s Christmas Rocks Extravaganza tour performance from Knoxville, Tennessee.

Just surf over to Billboard Live at 10PM ET tonight, and you’re in, as the Stray Cats guitarist and singer puts a rock ‘n’ roll spin on great tunes like “Jingle Bells,” “Winter Wonderland,” “Man With the Bag” and “Dig That Crazy Santa Claus.”

Enjoy the show, have a wonderful holiday with your loved ones and we’ll see you back here at TVScreener.com next week.

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• Filed in Holiday Programming
• Tags: Brian Setzer Christmas, Brian Setzer Christmas concert

Shout out to The Hollywood Reporter for pointing us to this CBS promo (how very edgy for the network!) for How I Met Your Mother and the Frosty the Snowman holiday specials. The clip is a combo of HIMYM‘s Barney (Neil Patrick Harris), putting his bro code ways (and dialogue) into the Frosty cartoon:

The clip reminds me of another great holiday ‘toon spoof: The Scrubs take on A Charlie Brown Christmas. Of all the Charlie Brown types in primetime, J.D. (Zach Braff) is the Charlie Browniest, and Dr. Cox’s (John C. McGinley) spin on Linus’ meaning of Christmas speech/rant is perfection:

Any other holiday cartoon spoofs floating around the Web?

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• Filed in Comedy, Holiday Programming
• Tags: Charlie Brown Christmas, Charlie Brown Christmas spoof, Frosty the Snowman, Frosty the Snowman spoof, Neil Patrick Harris, NPH, Scrubs, Scrubs Charlie Brown Christmas

The Thanksgiving Day TV marathon … it’s probably responsible for thwarting more family dramas than we’ll ever know. When the fam gets to be too much, the boob tube can provide a bit of solace (i.e. escape), whether it be from a Brady Bunch marathon (“My nose, my nose, my nose!”) or the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade or NBC’s annual National Dog Show, hosted by the not real J. Peterman.

Whatever’s your TV pleasure – and your family drama to avoid – there’s surely something on TVScreener.com‘s Thanksgiving Day (and Friday, for nursing those tryptophan hangovers) Viewing Guide to make your Turkey Day less of a turkey. And don’t call me Shirley.

PS – A general channel surfing rule of thumb: Lifetime Movie Network … always something worthy of your guilty pleasure viewing hours there.

THURSDAY (all times ET)

MARATHONS:
Cake Boss (TLC): 6AM-3AM Friday

Supernanny (Style): 6AM-3AM Friday

House (USA): 7AM-7PM

The Godfather I, II and III (AMC): 7:30AM-8PM

Cool Tools (DIY): 8AM-4AM Friday

First 48 (A&E): 8AM-11PM

Genius of Photography (Ovation): 8AM-2AM Friday

James Bond movie marathon (SyFy): 8AM-5:30AM Friday (includes Dr. No, License to Kill, Live and Let Die, The Spy Who Loved Me, Tomorrow Never Dies, Casino Royale, For Your Eyes Only and The Man with the Golden Gun)

House Hunters and House Hunters International (HGTV): 8:30AM-6PM

The Brady Bunch (TV Land): 9AM-6PM

Cats 101 and Dogs 101 (Animal Planet): 9AM-7PM

Food Paradise (Travel): 9AM-8PM (including episodes on donuts, breakfast, ice cream, sandwiches, hot dogs, steak, hamburger, bar food, barbecue and more steak)

MythBusters (Discovery Channel): 9AM-3AM Friday

Top Chef (Bravo): 9AM-4:30PM

Band of Brothers (Spike): 9:30AM-9PM

The Closer (TNT): 10AM-6PM

My Fair Wedding with David Tutera (WE): 10AM-5PM

Snapped (Oxygen): 10AM-2AM (Saturday)

Biography on CNBC (CNBC): 11AM-6PM

Lockup (MSNBC): 11AM-5AM Friday

Home Alone (FX): Noon-midnight (is Home Alone the new A Christmas Story with this all-day airings?)

World’s Strictest Parents (MTV): Noon-8PM

Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo): 4:30PM-11PM

Pawn Stars (History): 8PM-3AM Friday

George Lopez (the sitcom) (Nick): 9PM-6AM on Friday

AND:

- Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (NBC): 9AM
- Tommy Boy (a classic) (TBS): 10AM
- The National Dog Show (NBC): Noon
- The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (Nick): 3PM
- A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (ABC): 8PM
- Beyonce: I Am … Yours (ABC): 9PM
- CNN Heroes: An All-star Tribute (CNN): 9PM
- Elf (USA): 9PM
- Love Actually (Lifetime): 9PM (PERFECT holiday movie. Trust me)
- Martha Stewart’s Christmas Special (FLN): 9PM
- NBC’s People of the Year (NBC): 9PM
- Punkin Chunkin (Science): 9PM
- Paul McCartney: Good Evening New York City (ABC): 10PM
- Great Performances with Mary J. Blige, Andrea Bocelli and David Foster (PBS): Check local listings for time and channel

FRIDAY (all times ET)

MARATHONS:
Say Yes to the Dress (TLC): 6AM-10PM

NCIS (USA): 6:30AM-12:30PM

Criminal Minds (A&E): 8AM-11PM

James Bond movie marathon (SyFy): 8AM-5:30AM Saturday (includes Thunderball, From Russia With Love, You Only Live Twice, Diamonds Are Forever, Casino Royale, GoldenEye, Goldfinger and Never Say Never Again)

Real Housewives of New Jersey (Bravo): 8AM-5PM

That ’70s Show (FX): 8AM-5PM

Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern (Travel): 9AM-8PM

Deadliest Catch (Discovery Channel): 9AM-3AM Friday

Mission: Organization (FLN): 9AM-3PM

Moonlight (Chill): 9AM-5PM

Sanford & Son (TV Land): 9AM-4PM

Everybody Hates Chris (BET): 10AM-6PM

Caught on Camera (MSNBC): 11AM-5AM Saturday

Law & Order (TNT): 11AM-7PM

Golden Girls (WE): Noon-7PM

Seinfeld (TBS): Noon-4PM

100 Greatest One-Hit Wonders of the ’80s (VH1 Classic): 1PM-6PM

Beverly Hills 90210 (SoapNet): 1PM-9PM

I’m Alive (Animal Planet): 1PM-10PM

White Collar (USA): 1:30-7PM

Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives (Food Network): 2PM-11PM

Ultimate Factories (NGC): 2PM-8PM

The Andy Griffith Show (TV Land): 4PM-10PM

100 Greatest Hard Rock Songs (VH1): 6PM-11PM

Til Debt Do Us Part (CNBC): 6PM-9PM

AND:

- Curious George: A Very Monkey Christmas (PBS): 9AM
- Storytellers: Foo Fighters (VH1): 11AM and 11PM
- Toys We Grew Up With (HGTV): 1PM
- 25 Great Holiday Ideas (HGTV): 3PM
- Bowfinger (my al-time favorite movie about Hollywood – Fake Purse Ninjas!) (Comedy Central): 4:45PM
- SpongeBob SquarePants (new episode) (Nick): 8PM
- Monk (penultimate episode of the series) (USA): 9PM
- White Collar (new episode) (USA): 10PM

• 2 Comments
• Filed in Holiday Programming, TV News
• Tags: Brady Bunch, Cake Boss, CHarlie Brown Thanksgiving, Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, MythBusters, Real Housewives, Thanksgiving TV marathons, Thanksgiving TV schedule