(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | FX
Justified – When Boyd (Walton Goggins) met Ellstin Limehouse (Mykelti Williamson) … that’s but one of the highlights of tonight’s episode, “Harlan Roulette,” which also finds Raylan (Timothy Olyphant) dealing with a brutal local Oxy dealer and, in one of the most surprising, hilarious new TV bromances, prison bonding between Dickie Bennett (Jeremy Davies) and Dewey Crowe (Damon Herriman).

7PM | BRAVO
Inside the Actors Studio: George Clooney – Cloons, as Tina Fey once jokingly referred to him, sits down with James Lipton for a special two-hour chat.

8PM | E!
E! True Hollywood Story: Demi Moore – Well, there’s certainly no lack of scandalous info, especially with recent updates, for this one.

8PM | FOX
Glee – It’s the Michael Jackson tribute episode everyone (by which I mean mostly the Glee cast) has been talking about.

9PM | FOX
New Girl – Schmidt (Max Greenfield) is the scene stealer on this show, which is why I think the best part of this episode will be the subplot about why Schmidt’s shower towel is always damp …

9PM | WE
Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best? – Three words: Joan Rivers … bong.

9PM | THE CW
Ringer – The guilty pleasure drama is back, as Henry mourns his wife, Malcolm begins working for Andrew, Siobhan is shocked by how well Bridget is adapting to her new life and Bridget learns that one of Juliet’s friends is privy to one of Siobhan’s (many, many) secrets.

9:30PM | FOX
Raising Hope – Burt’s gambling habit (which caused him to lose most of the fam’s belongings 20 years ago) rears its ugly head once again, and, this time, takes hold of his loved ones, too.

10PM | FOOD NETWORK
Chopped – Cheese and clove candies are among the mystery ingredients when a group of international chefs compete for the $10K grand prize.

10PM | MTV
Teen Mom 2 – Ouch: Corey finds out Leah cheated on him just two weeks before their wedding.

10PM | TNT
Southland – Ben is haunted by the mistakes he’s made recently.

10:30PM | COMEDY CENTRAL – SERIES PREMIERE
Key & Peele – Is it the new Chappelle’s Show? Eh … that’s more the product of lazy reviewers. It’s not Chappelle’s Show … sample joke from the titular comedians, while discussing their interracial backgrounds: “We sound whiter than Mitt Romney in a snow storm.”  But there are some funny concepts, especially a premiere episode skit in which two married men (stars Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele) are deathly afraid of their wives, and take great pains to make sure the women don’t hear them lying to each other about how they stand up to their spouses.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– It’s the 4th season premiere of Tosh.0 (10PM, Comedy Central);
– Tonight’s challenge involves a trampoline on The Biggest Loser (8PM, NBC);
– Daffy suspects Porky Pig is a murderer on The Looney Tunes Show (8:30PM, Cartoon Network);
– Abby plans a bully-themed dance number that upsets Holly on Dance Moms (9PM, Lifetime);
– Back-to-back new Shipping Wars episodes on A&E (9 and 9:30PM);
– On the new reality series Sorority Girls (9PM, TLC), five U.S. sorority girls head to England to recruit new members;
– On the premiere of yet another reality series, Undercover Princes (10PM, TLC), bachelor princes from around the world move to England to try to find their mates;
– On White Collar (10PM, USA), Peter and Neal try to prevent a fancy hotel from being robbed.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Simon Helberg;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Jonathan Macey;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Bjork;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Stephen Merchant;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Mark Harmon and Michelle Obama;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Martin Scorsese;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Jack McBrayer;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Ringo Starr;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Rich Eisen.

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• Filed in Glee, Justified, Late Night, Teen Mom, TV Picks

(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | FX
Justified – Oh, that Boyd (Walton Goggins). How long into last week’s season premiere did it take you to realize what he’d intended to do with his fight with Raylan (Timothy Olyphant)? Tonight, he tries to make a meeting with Dickie Bennett (Jeremy Davies) happen, while Raylan tries to make sure it (and therefore Dickie’s death) doesn’t. Meanwhile, a former colleague of Raylan’s pops into the office, and she looks a lot like Carla Gugino, who, of course, played the titular character in another Elmore Leonard adaptation TV series.

8:30PM | CARTOON NETWORK
The Looney Tunes Show – Bugs has a Nobel Prize, but no shelf to put it on … anthropomorphic bunny problems.

9PM | WE – 2ND SEASON PREMIERE
Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best? – Melissa hosts an intervention to convince Joan not to get more plastic surgery. She may need the TLC people for this one.

9 and 9:30PM | A&E
Shipping Wars – Marc hauls a 1928 train caboose that is in a very fragile state. Well, he’ll haul it assuming it doesn’t fall apart before he can even load it onto his truck.

9PM | NGC – 8TH SEASON FINALE
Taboo – Exploring alternative, unconventional medicines, including an asthma treatment that involves swallowing a while animal. A whole, live animal.

10PM | FOOD NETWORK
Chopped – Root beer schnapps and sweetbreads (bleecchh) are in the baskets as four previous runners-up return for another shot at the $10,000 prize.

10PM | TNT
Southland – Joel Rucker (Carl Lumbly, who’ll always be Dixon to me) becomes the new captain, Ben and Sammy are paired with a hapless officer and Lydia and Ruben work a murder at a convenience store.

10 and 10:30PM | A&E
Storage Wars – The gang heads to San Francisco, where Dave – yuuup – gets an apprentice.

10PM | MTV
Teen Mom 2 – Jenelle continues her massive meltdown by fighting with both Kieffer and her friend Tori.

10PM | USA
White Collar – Will the phrase “hot for teacher” pop up? Perhaps, as Neal poses as a substitute teacher at a prestigious Manhattan prep school to help Peter and the FBI recover some missing scholarship money.

11PM | BRAVO
Watch What Happens: Live – Mary J. Blige in the (club)house!

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– The teams compete to win exclusive use of the gym on The Biggest Loser (8PM, NBC);
– The new series All Star Dealers (8 and 8:30PM, Discovery) follows the wheelings and dealings of sports memorabilia auctioneers.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Sam Worthington;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Elizabeth Warren;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Placido Domingo;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Tina Fey (REPEAT);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Janet Jackson (REPEAT);
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Ben McKenzie and Elizabeth Banks;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Judah Friedlander (REPEAT);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Kristen Bell (REPEAT);
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Wiz Khalifa (REPEAT).

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• Filed in Cartoons, Justified, Late Night, Teen Mom, TV Picks
• Tags: Justified

(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | FX – 3RD SEASON PREMIERE
Justified – Sure, Mags is gone, but there is still so much to love about the new season, including a throwdown between Raylan (Timothy Olyphant) and frienemy Boyd (Walton Goggins), a new Detroit mobster (Neal McDonough) who comes to Harlan to start trouble, another local businessman (Mykelti Williamson) who may end up making Mags look like a bunny rabbit, a surprisingly domestic-minded Raylan and a new, and hilarious, set of BFFs: Dickie Bennett (Jeremy Davies) and Dewey Crowe (Damon Herriman).

8PM | FOX
Glee – It’s the Nene Leakes episode, in which the Real Housewives of Atlanta star guests as swim coach Roz Washington. Also, Will plans to propose to Emma.

8 and 9PM | WE
Texas Multi Mamas – On back-to-back episodes, Stephanie and her husband sign papers for their new home, but Stephanie tells Candace that her marriage is in trouble.

9PM | FOX
New Girl – Jess plans Schmidt’s 29th birthday party. Mike Schmidt is turning 29?!? I know, I know, but the Hall of Fame third baseman (and Ohio University alum: Go Bobcats!) is always the Schmidt that comes to mind for me.

9:31PM | FOX
Raising Hope – When Hope displays signs that her IQ is way above average, Jimmy is inspired to try to get his GED. And then Burt and Virginia, thinking they can’t let Jimmy be the smartest adult in the house, decide to go back to school, too. Homeroom with Burt … that would be fun times.

10PM | FOOD NETWORK
Chopped – In the apps mystery basket: frozen French fries. Like you need anything else?

10PM | NBC
Parenthood – Adam and Kristina fret about the cost of Haddie’s college plans, Zeek gets surprising medical news and Crosby begins a new relationship.

10PM | TNT – 4TH SEASON PREMIERE
Southland – Lydia and John both gets new partners, and John’s is a no-nonsense cop who looks a lot like Lucy Liu. Because she is.

10PM | MTV
Teen Mom – Jenelle and Kieffer are back together (again), which causes problems between Jenelle and her mother (again). And this show is growing tiresome, especially with the news that Leah – who, spoiler alert, isn’t even with husband Corey anymore – is pregnant (again) with twins (again).

10PM | USA
White Collar – In the midseason premiere, Neal and Peter have to work together to retrieve the kidnapped Mrs. Peter, a.k.a. Elizabeth, a.k.a. Tiffani Thiesen.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– A Chinese buffet temptation, a water transfer challenge and a shocking decision by one competitor mark tonight’s new episode of The Biggest Loser (8PM, NBC);
– On Shipping Wars (9 and 9:30PM, A&E), Roy thinks hauling a mint-condition collectible is going to be easy peasy, but then he hits a big storm;
– Back-to-back new Storage Wars eps on A&E (10 and 10:30PM).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Antonio Banderas and Fred Armisen;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Liam Neeson;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Jennifer Granholm;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Ricky Gervais;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Adam Lambert;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Ne-Yo and Katherine Heigl;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Kyra Sedgwick;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Colin Firth;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Thievery Corporation.

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• Tags: Justified season 3, Southland season 4

(ALL TIMES ET)

10 and 11PM | MTV
Teen Mom 2 – Here’s a little extra somethin’ Santa forgot to put under the tree: the gift of back-to-back new installments of Teen Mom 2.

8 and 9PM | WE
Texas Multi Mamas – Is this reality drama really just a thinly, er, not at all veiled knockoff of Real Housewives, with women who have multiples as the common denominator? Yes it is. Should you care? No. Is it awesome? Yes, it is. Especially when the smug Stephanie gets her much-anticipated boob job, but then has to spend her recovery time with her monster-in-law … #realitytvstarproblems.

8:30 and 10PM | A&E
Storage Wars – New episodes bookend the premiere of another new Wars (see below).

9PM | LIFETIME – 2ND SEASON PREMIERE
Dance Moms – She’s baaaaack. Lock up your children and their self-esteem.

9PM | A&E – SERIES PREMIERE
Shipping Wars – Yep, now shippers, those who specialize in the transport of various unusual and often delicate, items, are at Wars with each other. Storage locker auction bidders and specialty transporters, can’t we all just get along?

9PM | NGC
Taboo – An episode revolving around “odd couples,” including a woman whose boyfriend is three times her height, a gay man married to a woman and a three-way marriage that will make that Sister Wives gang look almost charming in comparison.

9PM | ABC
Celebrity Wife Swap – The wives of Dee “Twisted Sister” Snider and Flavor “Public Enemy” Flav swap households for a week. Hilarity and insanity of the completely expected variety ensue.

10PM | LIFETIME
24 Hour Catwalk – This new fashion competition series, with its quick challenges and mystery box of ingredients, is a lot like Chopped …

10PM | FOOD NETWORK
Chopped – … which does a far better, more compelling job of making the format work. And Geoffrey Zakarian rules!

10PM | NBC
Parenthood – Sarah considers having another child, You should consider catching up with this fine drama, if you haven’t yet, on Netflix.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Dr. Huizenga performs health assessments that shake up the contestants on The Biggest Loser (8PM, NBC);
– On NCIS (8PM, CBS), a female lieutenant is murdered, and her husband, a detective, keeps interrupting the investigation;
– Jada Khaled is kidnapped on NCIS: Los Angeles (9PM, CBS);
– Carrie digs into a college student’s death on Unforgettable (10PM, CBS);
– Robin Thicke and Tori Spelling visit Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens: Live (11PM, Bravo).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Chelsea Handler;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Judge Andrew Napolitano;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Bill Moyers;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Marv Albert and Kate Beckinsale;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Queen Latifah;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Dermot Mulroney;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Tina Fey;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Isaac Mizrahi;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Roy Choi (REPEAT).

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• Tags: Storage Wars, Teen Mom 2, Texas Multi Mamas

(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM | ABC
Celebrity Wife Swap – No matter how unique, ahem, you find Gary Busey to be, you are still not fully prepared to see him at home, as his fiancée/babymama swaps homes with the religious wife of scandal-embroiled pastor Ted Haggard.

8PM | NBC – 13TH SEASON PREMIERE
The Biggest Loser – A whole new collection of couples arrive at the Biggest Loser ranch and are greeted by a twist: they’re going to be split up and forced to compete against each other.

8PM | CBS
NCIS – While investigating the murder of a commander, the team runs into E.J. Barrett (Sarah Jane Morris).

8:30PM | ESPN
2012 Sugar Bowl – Michigan vs. Virginia Tech.

8:30PM | ABC – SERIES PREMIERE
Work It – So, about this Bosom Buddies knock-off … Do not consider this a recommendation to watch a good show. Consider it a recommendation to watch a show that’s so ridiculously silly you have to watch it at least once.

9PM | NGC
Taboo: Secret Lives – Wow. Among the people living secret lives are a married (and successful) businessman who pretends to be homeless, a psych student who pretends to be a blue cat and a woman who pretends to be a paraplegic dependent on a wheelchair.

10PM | FOOD NETWORK
Chopped – There’s fruit in the app basket and cheese in the dessert basket.

10PM | NBC
Parenthood – It’s a Braverman family road trip as the gang heads out together to visit Zeek’s mama.

10 and 10:30PM | A&E
Storage Wars – In back-to-back eps, Brandi goes auctioning by herself for the first time, and then the crew heads to North Hollywood for some storage scavenging.

10PM | MTV
Teen Mom 2 – The moms and their tots celebrate Christmas, while Jenelle and Chelsea make more bad decisions regarding their boyfriends.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Nell goes undercover on a new NCIS: Los Angeles (9PM, CBS);
– It’s the season four of drunken college student shenanigans on Campus PD (10PM, G4);
– When a construction worker is murdered on Unforgettable (10PM, CBS), Carrie and Al try to determine if the killing was mob-related;
– It’s back-to-back Extreme Couponing: All-Stars episodes on TLC (10 and 10:30PM).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Gary Oldman;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Charles Barkley;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Senator Bernie Sanders;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Will Arnett;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Snooki and Whitney Cummings;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Christina Ricci and the male cast members of Jersey Shore;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): William H. Macy;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Carrie Fisher;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Miranda July (REPEAT).

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• Filed in Late Night, Reality, Teen Mom, TV Picks
• Tags: 2012 Sugar Bowl, Celebrity Wife Swap, NCIS, Storage Wars, The Biggest Loser season 13, Work It premiere ABC