(ALL TIMES ET)

10 and 10:30PM | FX
Wilfred – Back-to-back new episodes of Wilfred kick off with Ryan’s mom (guest star Mary Steenburgen) checking out of the “wellness center” where she’s lived for 20 years and moving in with her son. Ryan already has a contentious relationship with his wacky mama, and the fact that Wilfred bonds with her just gives him another reason to resent her. And in the second ep, Wilfred picks on Ryan and tells him that people are starting to call him weird because he spends so much time alone, but Wilfie’s motives, of course, are not all about what’s best for Ryan.

9PM | USA
Burn Notice – While Fiona and Jesse do some sleuthing on behalf of a drug company mogul (who’s hiding secrets from them), Sam helps Michael track down a bomb maker who has some scoop related to Max’s murder.

9PM | VH1
Do Something Awards – Jane Lynch hosts (few TV promos have been as entertaining as the ones she’s done leading up to the Do Something show) and Foster the People and OneRepublic perform in this nod to social do-gooding. Among the presenters doling out awards: Adam Lambert, Nick Cannon and Kristen Bell.

9PM | LIFETIME
Project Runway – I think Michael Kors himself would be at least a little nervous about working with the client the contestants have to design for tonight: Judge Nina Garcia.

10PM | A&E – 2ND SEASON PREMIERE
Beyond Scared Straight – It’s tough to tell sometimes how effective the show’s prisoners are in persuading teens that crime doesn’t pay, but I find their schtick so scary as to make me reconsider taking a cent from the Take a Penny dish at the local bodega.

10PM | MTV
Jersey Shore – It hits the fan when Mike tells the whole house he and Snooki hooked up, and Deena proves that, yes, she can get even sloppier when she hooks up with twins Vinny and Mike had their eyes on.

11:59PM | ADULT SWIM
Childrens Hospital – In “The Chet Episode,” we experience a day in the life of the creepy paramedic.

12:15AM FRIDAY | ADULT SWIM
NTSF: SD: SUV – Trent’s (Paul Scheer) on the trail of a serial killer (a dolphin serial killer), and looks to a another murderer, who’s locked up, for help. Tonight’s guest star: Tony “Buster Bluth” Hale.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Contestants drop like flies when they’re swatted like flies on Wipeout (8PM, ABC);
– It’s eviction night on Big Brother (9PM, CBS);
– This won’t end well: on Degrassi (9PM, TeenNick), Eli won’t give up on Clare, and Imogen won’t give up on Eli;
– The crew discovers one of Dr. Zoidberg’s lost adventures on Futurama (10PM, Comedy Central);
– On Suits (10PM, USA), it’s Harvey vs. an undefeated Boston attorney in a class-action lawsuit;
– Louie (11PM, FX) takes the girls trickor-treating and finds himself having to explain Lilly’s costume.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Louis C.K.;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Anne Hathaway;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Kevin Mitnick;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Ryan Gosling (and his cool dog) (REPEAT);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb (REPEAT);
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Anton Yelchin and Zoe Saldana;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Brian Williams (REPEAT);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Dick Van Dyke (REPEAT);
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Neil Strauss (REPEAT).

• No Comments
• Filed in Award shows, Burn Notice, Late Night, TV Picks, Wilfred
• Tags: Beyond Scared Straight, Burn Notice, Childrens Hospital, Do Something Awards, Jersey Shore, NTSF: SD: SUV, Project Runway, Wilfred

(ALL TIMES ET)

8PM | FOX
American Idol – It’s a two-hour results show. Painful, yes, but that’s what we have to sit through to go from 24 finalists to the top 10 contenders.

9PM | CNBC
How I Made My Millions – Another new installment of the series that unfolds the backstories of entrepreneurs like the inventors of Pillow Pets, Tate’s Cookies and the HeadBlade.

9PM | CNN
Piers Morgan Tonight – Piers chats with the cast of the new movie Adjustment Bureau, including Matt Damon, Emily Blunt and John Slattery.

9PM | TLC – 5TH SEASON FINALE
Police Women of Cincinnati – Colleen buys crack from an informant, but the rest of the sting doesn’t go so smoothly.

10PM | FX
Archer – Cyril wants to be a hero, so he injects a virus into the ISIS computer system, planning to spot it and reap accolades from his co-workers. That, of course, is not how his plan unfolds.

10PM | A&E – 1ST SEASON FINALE
Beyond Scared Straight – Five teen girls visit a Maryland women’s prison to get a peek at their futures if they continue their wicked ways.

10PM | FOOD NETWORK – SERIES PREMIERE
Ice Brigade – The show follows a team of Michigan event ice sculptors, who, in the opener, build a whole ice lounge, with a fully operational ice bar and a playable ice pool table.

10PM | SCIENCE CHANNEL
Ingenious Minds – Back-to-back new episodes profile Alonzo Clemons, a sculptor who can look at an animal once and, within minutes, create an accurate replica sculpture of the animal, and Temple Grandin, the HBO biopic darling and autistic professor who revolutionized the beef industry with her cattle feedlot system invention.

10PM | MTV
Jersey Shore – The Ronnie and Sammi saga continues when she returns to the Shore, while Snooki lays it out, um, so to speak, for Vinny regarding her feelings for him.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– It’s a three-hour block of repeats of The Office on NBC (8PM);
– Timmy and Russell go on a double date on Rules of Engagement (8:30PM, CBS);
– Madison wigs when he finds out his assistant had a date with Josh on Million Dollar Listing (9PM, Bravo).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Martha Stewart and Emily Blunt;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Diane Ravitch;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Mark W. Moffett;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Robin Williams and Judy Greer;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Jerry Seinfeld and Darlene Love;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Topher Grace;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Howard Stern;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Michael Stipe and Miley Cyrus;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Neil Patrick Harris;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Emmy Rossum.

• No Comments
• Filed in American Idol, Late Night, The Office, TV Picks
• Tags: American Idol, Archer, Beyond Scared Straight, How I Made My Millions, Ice Brigade, Ingenious Minds, Jersey Shore, Piers Morgan Tonight, Police Women of Cincinnati