All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Oscar winner Diane Keaton is set to star in a new HBO comedy inspired by Gloria Steinem. Keaton will play a feminist icon who tries to spark a rejuvenation of the feminist movement by starting a porn magazine for women. The series (which would make an interesting primetime block with HBO’s Hung) is being written by Buffy the Vampire Slayer producer and writer Marti Noxon.

– When Jon & Kate Plus 8 returns with new episodes on TLC on Aug. 3, the action will not include the separated couple’s extracurricular love interests.

– The Emmy folks are considering pre-recording a handful of categories’ winners and inserting them into the live Neil Patrick Harris-hosted telecast on Sept. 20. Organizers are calling the idea “time-shifting” those awards’ presentations … really, Emmy people? If those award categories (which includes the drama writing category for which Mad Men nabbed four of five nominations) aren’t deemed important enough to air live, why air them at all during the main Emmy telecast?

– TLC has renewed Cake Boss with New Jersey baker Buddy Valastro for a second season, which will air sometime in the fall. The current debut season wraps on Aug. 17.

– Life co-star Donal Logue will star in FX’s new dramedy Terriers, written by The Shield‘s Shawn Ryan. The new series will feature Logue as a P.I. who, partnered with his best friend, isn’t exactly the most mature private eye on the block.

– Ugly Betty/Harper’s Island/Popular alum Christopher Gorham has been cast  in USA’s new CIA thriller Covert Affairs. The show will star Gorham as a blind special ops agent who helps train a newbie CIA agent played by Piper Perabo.

– The Hills – sans Lauren Conrad and with new star Kristin Cavallari – kicks off its new season on Sept. 29 on MTV.

– Must-see-TV clip of the day: Anderson Cooper, subbing for Reeg on Live with Regis and Kelly, asking The Bachelorette‘s Jillian Harris the question we all really want the answer to.

– While promoting her new TV Land show How’d You Get So Rich?, which premieres Aug. 5, Joan Rivers made it clear she’s no fan of Jay Leno.

– The big news coming out of the annual Television Critics’ Association gathering about Starz’ 2010 drama Spartacus: Lots of nudity. Lots and lots of nudity.

– And tonight in primetime:

– Another one bites the dust as a contestant is Michael’s on the hunt for a client list on Burn Notice (9PM, USA)
– Sean Paul sings and JabbaWockeeZ dances as two more are cut on So You Think You Can Dance (9PM, Fox)
– She’s Got the Look wraps its second season and chooses a winner on TV Land (9PM)
– What kind of 3BR house will $700,000 buy you in Los Angeles? Find out on House Hunters (9PM, HGTV)
– Duff cakes a precariously balanced Cirque du Soleil cake on Ace of Cakes (10PM, Food Network)
– Jill and Hank tussle over a patient on Royal Pains (10PM, USA)
– It’s season two – and the return of NeNe! – for The Real Housewives of Atlanta (10PM, Bravo)
– Is Audrey dunzo on LA Ink (10PM, TLC)?
– MTV has unaired footage from season one of 16 and Pregnant (10PM)
– Penn & Teller: Bullshit! (10PM, Showtime) examines the claims about organic food
– And it’s beauty queen vs. gossiper vs. salon owner on WE’s Most Popular (10PM)

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• Tags: 2009 Emmys, Buddy Valastro, Cake Boss, Christopher Gorham, Covert Affairs USA, Diane Keaton HBO, Donal Logue, Joan Rivers, Jon & Kate Plus 8, Kristin Cavallari, Marti Noxon, Piper Perabo, Shawn Ryan, Spartacus Sstarz, The Bachelorette, The Hills new season, The Hills returns

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Here’s official proof that anyone can get a reality series these days: Tobey Maguire‘s mom – yes, Spider-Man’s mama – is working on a reality series that will focus on her attempts with her other son, 15-year-old Weston, to remain normal in the shadow of her famous son’s Hollywood life. Next up: the guy who waves at you when you drive by his house while he’s mowing the lawn gets his own reality show.

– No surprise here: Both Burn Notice and Royal Pains have been renewed on USA Network. The shows’ popularity led to USA ending July as the most-watched cable network on the tube.

– Prison Break star Robert Knepper and his evil Samuel will be a regular on the fourth season of Heroes, and The Hollywood Reporter has a preview clip of the new season.

– Pre-season research is indicating that CBS’ NCIS spin-off NCIS: Los Angeles and The Jay Leno Show could be among the big breakout hits of the fall.

– It’s not a return to Deadwood, but Timothy Olyphant will be playing a marshal again, this time in FX’s new drama Lawman. Olyphant will play Raylan Givens, an Elmore Leonard character whose retro approach to being a lawman gets him sent to Kentucky to deal with baddies in his hometown. Bonus: The Shield star Walton Goggins (who so deserved an Emmy nod for the last season of that show) will be among Lawman‘s guest stars.

– Wonder what you’d look like as a Mad Men character? Would you be a chain-smoking, cocktail-swilling shark of an ad exec, or would you just be drawn that way? Find out at MadMenYourself.com, where you can create your own animated Mad Men-era you.

– Degrassi: The Next Generation star Aubrey Graham, who’s better known as red-hot rapper Drake these days, has signed on to co-star with another Degrassi alum, Mazin Elsadig, in a new Canadian sitcom called Us & Them.

– The Bachelor‘s Chris Harrison and Dancing with the Stars‘ Carrie Ann Inaba have signed a deal to become the new hosts of the TV Guide Channel’s awards show red carpet coverage, beginning with the Emmys on Sept. 20.

– Emmy nominee Sarah Silverman, Jonah Hill, Seth Rogen and the Manning brothers will be among the voice guest stars on the 21st season of The Simpsons, which debuts Sept. 27 on Fox.

– USA Today has a fun profile of Hoboken Buddy Valastro, who, thanks to TLC’s addictive Cake Boss, has joined Ace of Cakes‘ Duff Goldman as a rock star cake baker.

– George Lopez‘s late-night talk show will debut on TBS in November.

– And tonight in primetime:

– The top six perform on So You Think You Can Dance (8PM ET, Fox)
– Oxygen is airing the 1998 made-for-TV movie gem Gia (8PM), featuring Angelina Jolie (who won a Golden Globe for the role) as real-life, AIDS-stricken ’80s supermodel Gia Carangi and Lost‘s Elizabeth Mitchell as her girlfriend
– Nate and the team try to catch a bad guy by releasing a deadly virus on Leverage (9PM, TNT)
– They’re in Vegas, baby, Vegas on America’s Got Talent (9PM, NBC)
– Velcro suits and cat costumes are part of the fun (?) on I Survived a Japanese Game Show (9PM, ABC)
– On Throwdown with Bobby Flay (9PM, Food Network), Bobby tries to make better sloppy joes than the guys who own NYC eatery Schnipper’s (good luck, Bob – they make a mean sloppy joe)
– It’s the champions round on Top Chef Masters (10PM, Bravo)
– Women who live in different cities swap towns to try and find love on the premiere of SoapNet’s Holidate (10PM)
– The Dark Blue (10PM, TNT) team tries to nab a drug dealer who’s hip to cop tactics
– There’s a Ponzi scheme afoot on The Philanthropist (10PM, NBC)
– More stage moms and their heavily make-up-ed tots will creep you out on Toddlers & Tiaras (10PM, TLC)
– On Verminators (10PM, Discovery): rats and an 11-foot alligator
– Joey may get the boot when he’d rather party and sleep than work on The Real World: Cancun (10PM, MTV)
– And Michael & Michael Have Issues (10:30PM, Comedy Central) with trying to find a date for Marla

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• Tags: Aubrey Graham, Buddy Valastro, Burn Notice, Cake Boss, Carrie Ann Inaba, Chris Harrison, Drake sitcom Us & Them, George Lopez talk show, Heroes season 4, Mad Men, NCIS: Los Angeles, rapper Drake, Robert Knepper Heroes, Royal Pains, Sarah Silverman Jonah Hill Seth Rogen The Simpsons, Simpsons season 21 guest stars, The Jay Leno Show, Timothy Olyphant Lawman, Tobey Maguire's mom reality show, Walton Goggins

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– No worries if you’re not in Los Angeles or don’t have a ticket to the Michael Jackson memorial at Staples Center on Tuesday: Networks planning live coverage of the event at 1PM ET include: ABC, NBC, Fox, CNN, MSNBC, E! Entertainment and TV Guide Network.

– In case you thought everyone is feeling nostalgic about Michael Jackson and tuning in for every bit of MJ coverage, think again: New York congressman Peter King unleashed a YouTube rant about the rampant media coverage of the music star’s death this weekend.

– The New York Times says that instead of adapting to The Tonight Show‘s older audience, newbie host Conan O’Brien has drawn a younger audience to the show – his viewer age has dropped from 55 to 45 in just a month.

– Also in the Times: a profile of Buddy Valastro, better known as the star of TLC’s great summer series Cake Boss (Mondays, 10PM ET).

– Let’s hope William Shatner has some part in this boob tube-to-big screen makeover: A comedy movie take on 1982-86 ABC cop series T.J. Hooker.

– After her surprise weekend resignation, will Sarah Palin become a Fox News show host?

– Just as the networks seem (inexplicably) committed to putting Hilary Duff on TV on a regular basis, they also seem determined to make us watch (also inexplicably) watch Bruce Willis/Demi Moore offspring Rumer Willis. After guest gigs on Medium, CSI: NY and Army Wives, the celeb spawn has signed on for at least one episode of 90210, where she’ll play a lesbian character named Gia.

– Who’s having a great summer? USA Network, with returning hit Burn Notice and new hit dramedy Royal Pains, is on track to have the best summer ratings ever for a cable network.

– There’s a Saturday Night Live reunion happening on the big-screen comedy Grown Ups, which stars Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Tim Meadows, Maya Rudolph, Rob Schneider, David Spade, Norm MacDonald, Tim Herlihy and Colin Quinn in the story of a 30th-year class reunion. Sounds like a potentially good flick, but seeing that line-up together in a comedy really makes you miss Chris Farley, no?

– And tonight in primetime:

– On The Secret Life of an American Teenager (8PM, ABC Family), Amy and Ricky have have a major fight
– Is it all over for Wes on The Bachelorette (9PM, ABC)? The network promises a very dramatic rose ceremony …
– Can Brenda smooth over relations between the LAPD and some of the city’s gangsters on The Closer (9PM, TNT)?
– Alanis Morissette guests as Nancy’s gynecologist on a new Weeds (10PM, Showtime)
– Buddy bakes a Sweet 16 confection on Cake Boss (10PM, TLC)
– It’s Disco Week on Dance Your Ass Off (10PM, Oxygen) and somebody appears to have a major meltdown
– Kathy decides to write a celeb tell-all on Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (10PM, Bravo)
– Zoey dines with Dr. O’Hara and Jackie breaks (more) rules to help a little girl with a very sick mom on Nurse Jackie (10:30PM, Showtime)

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• Filed in Boob Tube to Big Screen, Reality, TV News
• Tags: Adam Sandler, Buddy Valastro, Cake Boss, Chris Farley, Conan O'Brien, David Spade, Hilary Duff, Michael Jackson memorial, Rumer Willis 90210, Sarah Palin Fox News, Saturday Night Live, T.J. Hooker, Tonight Show, William Shatner