(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM, SUN | HBO – 8TH SEASON PREMIERE
Curb Your Enthusiasm – Larry has second thoughts about his attorney (guest Paul F. Tompkins) when he finds out something he assumed is true isn’t, and then Mr. David has a scrap with some Girl Scouts when he decides he no longer wants to honor his big cookie order.

8PM, SAT | NICK
A Fairly Odd Movie: Grow Up, Timmy Turner! – Drake Bell plays Timmy in this live-action version of The Fairly OddParents. Bell as Timmy is 23-years-old, but he wants to remain a kid forever so he can keep his fairy godparents, Cosmo (Jason Alexander) and Wanda (Cheryl Hines). Until he gets a look at the all-grown-up Tootie.

10PM, SAT | CNBC – SERIES PREMIERE
Princess – Til Debt Do Us Part host and financial guru Gail Vaz-Oxlade hosts this new series, in which women living fabulous lifestyles – and falling deeper and deeper into debt, and possibly ruining their marriages, doing it – get a reality check. In other words, no more spoiled princess once Gail comes into their lives.

8PM, SUN | VH1
Mob Wives Reunion – Remember what they were doing the last time we saw them? So, yeah, this should be fun.

9PM, SUN | VH1
Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew – Sean Young dishes the details of the many ways her career has been negatively impacted by her addiction.

9PM, SUN | ABC
Jaycee Dugard: In Her Own Words – Diane Sawyer interviews the California kidnapping victim, whose book detailing her horrific 18-year-long experience with the evil Phillip and Nancy Garrido is being released on Tuesday.

9PM, SUN | DISCOVERY
Secrets of SEAL Team 6 – We all know some of the stuff they have done. Now we get a peek at just exactly how the elite team goes about doing what they do.

10PM, SUN | VH1 – SERIES PREMIERE
Famous Food – It may be the guiltiest pleasure of the summer, assuming there’s any pleasure involved. Seven D-list celebs, including Heidi Montag, Real Housewives alum Danielle Staub, Bachelor Jake Pavelka and The Sopranos‘ Vincent Pastore, try to launch a restaurant together. Hey, you always knew some of those jokers would end up asking, “Would you like fries with that?” Right?

10PM, SUN | BRAVO
Real Housewives of New Jersey – There’s drama in Caroline‘s family during the holiday season, which will probably make for good viewing. On the other hand, Teresa and Joe get frisky, which will probably make for gag-inducing viewing.

10PM, SUN | FOOD NETWORK – SERIES PREMIERE
Tough Cookies – The Jersey Shore meets Mrs. Fields in this reality series chronicling two sisters who run a cookie biz in Ocean City, New Jersey.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– On Dino Gangs (Sat., 8PM, Discovery), the remains of 68 Tyrannosaurus rexes are found in the Gobi Desert, suggesting they traveled together in a gang and were even deadlier than previously thought;
– The Wall Street sequel, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, makes its TV premiere on HBO (Sat., 8PM);
– On Carson Nation (Sat., 10PM, OWN), Carson travels to Scottsdale to help a stay-at-home mom who needs a full makeover and a transgender woman who has lived as a man for six decades;
– Simon hopes for romance with Tara, but of course the fellas get in his way on The InBetweeners (Sat., 11PM, BBC America);
– Nominations for evictions are revealed on Big Brother (Sun., 8PM, CBS);
– Gigi moves into a new apartment on Jerseylicious (Sun., 8PM, Style);
– A woman crashes her hubby-to-be’s bachelor party and throws down with his ex on Bridezillas (Sun., 9PM, WE);
– On Drop Dead Diva (Sun., 9PM, Lifetime), Jane is waiting for a call from Dr. Bill while representing the mother of a dwarf in a case against a sperm bank;
– Lisa‘s hauling her biggest load ever in hopes of getting a promotion on Ice Road Truckers (Sun., 9PM, History);
– Nate and the team try to thwart a sleazy PR guy on Leverage (Sun., 9PM, TNT);
– On The Next Food Network Star (Sun., 9PM, Food Network), the contestants have to open food trucks and create commercials for them;
– Jessica turns to Bill for advice and Sookie has her hands full with Eric on True Blood (Sun., 9PM, HBO);
– Hal launches a dangerous plan to rescue Ben and the other kids on Falling Skies (Sun., 10PM, TNT);
– On The Glades (Sun., 10PM, A&E), Carlos tries to help a former co-worker he was involved with;
– A twin has to enter WITSEC because of his brother, and Mary has to protect them both (including from each other) on In Plain Sight (Sun., 10PM, USA).

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• Filed in Celebreality, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Movies, Real Housewives, TV Picks
• Tags: A Fairly Odd Movie: Grow Up Timmy Turner!, Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, Curb Your Enthusiasm season 8, Famous Food premiere, Mob Wives reunion, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Secrets of SEAL Team 6, Tough Cookies premiere

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Mad Men, season three, August 16 at 10PM ET on AMC. Be there, or be somewhere else, somewhere where people don’t knock back three vodka gimlets before lunch, aren’t nearly as dapperly-attired as Don Draper (Jon Hamm) and don’t have offices that are bigger than my entire New York City apartment. Yeah, not sounding nearly as much fun as Mad Men, right?

– Is designer Vera Wang going to be competing on the next season of Dancing With the Stars? And if so, does that mean we can count on less cheesy costumes?

– Plus-size model Emme has been hired to host Fox’s More to Love, the reality dating show that will feature “average-looking” people

– Discovery Channel’s 22nd annual Shark Week kicks off on August 2.

– Matt Mitovich at TVGuide.com says Rick Springfield will play, fittingly enough, Rick Springfield, when he guest stars on the new season of Californication, but he’ll be a naughty Rick Springfield, one whose sex play makes David Duchovny‘s Hank “look like a Jonas brother.” Not that I’m buying that whole purity ring business about the Jonas Bros. …

– In celebration of its 15th anniversary, TCM has created its own social network site, TCM Classic Film Union, for movie buffs.

– Gordon Ramsay has apologized for, well, basically, for being a tool. You can watch the apology here.

– I reeeally want to like Dr. Drew and trust his motives, but a real doctor prolly should offer to help Lindsay Lohan, or a less-famous addict, whether or not she accepts a reported six-figure offer to appear on his reality show, Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, right? Of course, the story seems to be originating with Lohan’s dad, so, grain – no, make that rock, huge, ginormous rock – of salt on the whole thing.

– The Shield creator Shawn Ryan is going back to FX with a comedy about private detectives, called Terriers.

– Futurama‘s back! With 26 new episodes in 2010!

– Good news for David Letterman: He, with guest Julia Roberts, beat Conan O’Brien‘s Tonight Show on Tuesday. Worse news for Conan: His ratings keep dropping. Don’t count him out tho; remember his first years as Late Night host?

– More ratings wars news: Judge Judy beat Oprah. Whoa.

– ABC’s getting a jump on the competition by announcing its fall premiere dates.

– The ratings for the Nurse Jackie series premiere were so good, Showtime’s already greenlighting a second season, so go ahead and get hooked.

– Heidi Pratt‘s launching her own line of dry shampoo, after her shampoo shenanigans on I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. I’m sure Oscar Blandi is shaking in his celebrity hair-cutting boots.

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• Filed in Celebreality, Late Night, Reality, TV News
• Tags: Californication, Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, Conan O'Brien, Dancing With the Stars, David Duchovny, David Letterman, Discovery Channel, Don Draper, Dr. Drew, Drew Pinsky, Emme, Futurama, Get Me Out of Here, Gordon Ramsay, Heidi Pratt, I'm a Celebrity, Jon Hamm, Jonas, Judge Judy, Julia Roberts, Lindsay Lohan, Mad Men, More to Love, Nurse Jackie, Oprah, Rick Springfield, Shark Week, Shawn Ryan, TCM Classic Film Union, The Shield, Tonight Show, Vera Wang

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Beverly Hills 90210 alum, and recent Sarah Connor Chronicles comeback kid, Brian Austin Green may become the newest One Tree Hill resident, now that Hilarie Burton and Chad Michael Murray are hitting the bricks. An aside: Is it a prereq to have three names to be the lead dude on that show?

– Eminem, Bruno, staged, yes.

– The New York Post has a photo of Adam Lambert and his rumored boyfriend. Doesn’t the BF sorta look like Shia LaBeouf?

– Whatever happens in Vegas will show up on TV when Top Chef heads to Sin City for season six.

– Here’s one of TVGuide.com’s funnier lists: “TV Fat Guys with Hot Wives.” They forgot Mark Addy and Jami Gertz from Still Standing, though. Anyone else they forgot?

– Yes, in between fake apologizing on The Hills and ticking off his fellow D-listers on I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, Spencer Pratt is indeed trying to become the next Vanilla Ice.

– And I have to agree with Time mag’s James Poniewozik, who gives Spencer the award for “The Greatest TV Line of 2009” when he told NBC honcho Ben Silverman about the rest of the has-been/never-were cast, “This cast is devaluing our fame!” The truly sad thing is, Spencer probably has a point. I doubt Frangela or Sanjaya are pulling down the kind of bank Speidi is pulling down with their club appearances and … whatever else it is they do to make cash.

– One more Speidi item: TMZ claims that, after quitting the show twice during last night’s premiere, the Pratts quit – for reals – after the live portion of the show.

– Ex-lovers Heidi Fleiss and Tom Sizemore, whose relationship was tempestuous, to put it mildly, will reunite as co-stars on the new season of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. That cannot possibly be something that would ever be allowed to happen in real-life rehab, could it?

– And the Emmys will air a week earlier than planned this year. Because of a football game.

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• Filed in American Idol, Celebreality, Reality, TV News
• Tags: Adam Lambert, Beverly Hills 90210, Brian Austin Green, Bruno, Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, Chad Michael Murray, Eminem, Emmys, Frangela, Heidi Fleiss, Hilarie Burton, I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, One Tree Hill, Sanjaya, Sarah Connor Chronicles, Speidi, Spencer Pratt, terminator, The Hills, Tom Sizemore, Top Chef, TV Fat Guys with Hot Wives

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– What if Hurley, John Locke and Ben from Lost, Dwight Schrute and Craig Ferguson were Simpsons characters? It would be awesome, that’s what.

– VH1 is planning a Hills-ish reality series revolving around the rich and not-so-rich folk who frequent Aspen.

– Bravo reps are suggesting next week’s episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey will shed further light on the alleged criminal past of scene-stealer Danielle Staub.

– The next issue of Rolling Stone will reportedly feature a cover in which American Idol runner-up (sigh) Adam Lambert announces he’s gay. Inside, there will be stories where Miley Cyrus admits she can’t really sing so well and John Mayer confesses he’s in love … with himself.

– Kris Allen, future governor of Arkansas? Crazier things have happened.

– A Shot at Love star Tila Tequila is reportedly preggers. What are the chances this isn’t going to unfold on reality TV?

– Could Chuck return earlier than March 2010?

– And the next cast of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew will include a former Real World-er, Dennis Rodman, Heidi Fleiss and One Day at a Time star Mackenzie Phillips.

• No Comments
• Filed in American Idol, Celebreality, Chuck, Comedy, Drama, TV News
• Tags: A Shot at Love, Adam Lambert, Aspen, Ben, Celeb Rehab, Celebrity Rehab, Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, Chuck, Craig Ferguson, Danielle Staub, Dennis Rodman, Dwight Schrute, Heidi Fleiss, Hurley, John Locke, John Mayer, Kris Allen, Lost, Mackenzie Phillips, Miley Cyrus, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Rolling Stone, Simpsons, The Hills, Tila Tequila, VH1