All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Beverly Hills 90210 alum, and recent Sarah Connor Chronicles comeback kid, Brian Austin Green may become the newest One Tree Hill resident, now that Hilarie Burton and Chad Michael Murray are hitting the bricks. An aside: Is it a prereq to have three names to be the lead dude on that show?

– Eminem, Bruno, staged, yes.

– The New York Post has a photo of Adam Lambert and his rumored boyfriend. Doesn’t the BF sorta look like Shia LaBeouf?

– Whatever happens in Vegas will show up on TV when Top Chef heads to Sin City for season six.

– Here’s one of TVGuide.com’s funnier lists: “TV Fat Guys with Hot Wives.” They forgot Mark Addy and Jami Gertz from Still Standing, though. Anyone else they forgot?

– Yes, in between fake apologizing on The Hills and ticking off his fellow D-listers on I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, Spencer Pratt is indeed trying to become the next Vanilla Ice.

– And I have to agree with Time mag’s James Poniewozik, who gives Spencer the award for “The Greatest TV Line of 2009” when he told NBC honcho Ben Silverman about the rest of the has-been/never-were cast, “This cast is devaluing our fame!” The truly sad thing is, Spencer probably has a point. I doubt Frangela or Sanjaya are pulling down the kind of bank Speidi is pulling down with their club appearances and … whatever else it is they do to make cash.

– One more Speidi item: TMZ claims that, after quitting the show twice during last night’s premiere, the Pratts quit – for reals – after the live portion of the show.

– Ex-lovers Heidi Fleiss and Tom Sizemore, whose relationship was tempestuous, to put it mildly, will reunite as co-stars on the new season of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. That cannot possibly be something that would ever be allowed to happen in real-life rehab, could it?

– And the Emmys will air a week earlier than planned this year. Because of a football game.

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• Filed in American Idol, Celebreality, Reality, TV News
• Tags: Adam Lambert, Beverly Hills 90210, Brian Austin Green, Bruno, Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, Chad Michael Murray, Eminem, Emmys, Frangela, Heidi Fleiss, Hilarie Burton, I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, One Tree Hill, Sanjaya, Sarah Connor Chronicles, Speidi, Spencer Pratt, terminator, The Hills, Tom Sizemore, Top Chef, TV Fat Guys with Hot Wives

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– The year’s biggest American Idol shocker could turn out to be that Kris Allen earned himself a spot in the final two with his memorable spin on Kanye West‘s “Heartless” on last night’s Idol.

– Jim Krasinski says to expect a cool Jim/Pam story in Thursday night’s fifth-season finale of The Office.

– Discovery Channel is planning a high-def sequel to its incredible Planet Earth series, called Wild Planet: North America.

– Mark Valley, who’s gotten lost in the shuffle on shows like Boston Legal and Fringe after his terrific, but cancelled-too-soon dramedy Keen Eddie, may finally have landed another great series. Fox is reportedly moving forward with Human, based on a DC Comic, in which Valley stars as Christopher Chance, a guy who offers security for hire services by assuming the identities of people in danger (i.e. he becomes the “target” for them). Jackie Earle Haley and Chi McBride are also among the cool cast.

– Alanis Morissette will play Nancy’s (Mary-Louise Parker) baby doctor when Weeds begins its fifth season on June 8.

– Chad Michael Murray and Hilarie Burton will not be returning to One Tree Hill next season, as has been the rumor for months.

– Guess who thinks there should be a Creed-centric episode of The Office? Creed. I totally agree.

– Like Rodney Dangerfield, Tony Danza is going back to school. Danza, who admits that “nobody’s knocking down (his) door for acting jobs,” will teach 10th grade English in a New York City school, and film the whole experience for an A&E reality series. That’s one of the more interesting, and least sleazy, reality show ideas to pop up in quite a while.

– A&E is all about the celebreality genre next season, in fact, with other new shows on the horizon from Shaq, Bob Saget, MC Hammer and Steven Seagal, while most of the network’s other new shows fall into the crime drama category. The best news: Parking Wars will be back for another season.

– Jamie Foxx will host the BET Awards on June 28 in Los Angeles, with performances by Ne-Yo and Maxwell.

– Starz has given Party Down, an underrated comedy that you should be watching, a second-season pick-up.

– And Paulina Porizkova explained her firing from America’s Next Top Model to Craig Ferguson last night.

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• Filed in American Idol, Celebreality, Comedy, Drama, TV News
• Tags: A&E, America's Next Top Model, American Idol, BET, BET Awards, Bob Saget, Celebreality, Chad Michael Murray, Craig Ferguson, Creed Bratton, Hilarie Burton, Jamie Foxx, Jim Krasinski, Kris Allen, Mark Valley, Mary-Louise Parker, One Tree Hill, Parking Wars, Party Down, Planet Earth, Reality, Starz, The Office, Tony Danza, Weeds