(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM, SUN | ABC – 7TH SEASON FINALE
Desperate Housewives – The two-hour season ender has Renee bumming that her ex is remarrying, Tom and Lynnette trying to reconnect, Susan being welcomed back to the block with a party, Gaby finding out who’s stalking her, Bree wondering if her new dude is gay and … a murder!

11:30PM, SAT | NBC
Saturday Night Live – The Office and Hangover 2 star Ed Helms hosts the penultimate episode of the season, with Paul Simon as the musical guest.

8PM, SUN | ABC – 8TH SEASON FINALE
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition – While Ty and the crew build his family a new home, Patrick, a 9-year-old boy with brittle bone disease, travels to Hollywood to meet the cast of The Middle, including Patrick’s hero, The Middle star Atticus Shaffer.

8PM, SUN | STYLE – 3RD SEASON PREMIERE
Jerseylicious – The new season kicks off with Olivia reuniting with her ex, while Gigi tries to get used to being single.

8PM, SUN | FOX
The Simpsons – When the fam finds a set of keys that allow them to open every door in Springfield, Lisa discovers a secret classroom beneath Springfield Elementary.

8PM, SUN | CBS – 22ND SEASON FINALE
Survivor: Redemption Island – A three-hour block includes the season finale and the live reunion special, where the jury decides who will win the million-dollar prize.

9PM, SUN | NBC
The Celebrity Apprentice – In part one of the season finale, past celeb winners Joan Rivers, Bret Michaels and Piers Morgan return to help The Donald decide which of this season’s contestants should make the final two. After choosing them (can it really be anyone but John Rich and Marlee Matlin?), the final celebs must design packaging for a retro soda can and then shoot a commercial for the product.

10PM, SUN | A&E
Breakout Kings – A convict breaks out with plans to kidnap, and kill, a TV host.

10PM, SUN | DISCOVERY
Killing Bin Laden – The scoop on the Bin Laden military operation, with details on the Seal Team 6 and Bin Laden’s sea burial.

10PM, SUN | BRAVO
Real Housewives of Orange County – When the women head to Texas with Gretchen, Alexis lets her guard down and talks about her life with Jim. Meanwhile, back in Orange County, Tamra‘s legal woes with Simon become an issue between her and Jeana when Jeana blabs to the media about her take on Tamra and her ex.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– A Time Lord’s distress call sends the Doctor off on a mission that puts his companions and the TARDIS in jeopardy on Doctor Who (Sat., 9PM, BBCA);
– Off the Rez (Sat., 9PM, TLC) is a documentary that follows Native American basketball player Shoni Schimmel and her mother as they move off their Oregon reservation and try to secure a college scholarship for Shoni;
– Robert Pattinson, Reese Witherspoon and Hugh Laurie are the guests on The Graham Norton Show (Sat., 10PM, BBCA);
– A valet’s error sends two Philly women scrambling for their impounded car on Parking Wars (Sat., 10PM, A&E);
– Gail counsels a couple $100,000 in debt on Til Debt Do Us Part (Sat., 10PM, CNBC);
– Renee cuts loose during girls night out on Mob Wives (Sun., 8PM, VH1);
– Trevor’s marital woes impact his work on Army Wives (Sun., 9PM, Lifetime);
– Peter home schools Meg and Chris when Lois goes to Paris on Family Guy (Sun., 9PM, Fox);
– The detectives investigate a hacker’s murder on Law & Order: Criminal Intent (Sun., 9PM, USA);
– Cleveland and the fam go to Comic Con in the season two finale of The Cleveland Show (Sun., 9:30PM, Fox);
– Mary plays go-between for a witness and a suspect who’ve fallen for each other on In Plain Sight (Sun., 10PM, USA);
– It’s Christmastime on Treme (Sun., 10PM, HBO).

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• Filed in Late Night, Real Housewives
• Tags: Breakout Kings, Celebrity Apprentice, Desperate Housewives, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Jerseylicious, Killing Bin Laden, Real Housewives of Orange County, Saturday Night Live, Survivor Redemption Island, The Simpsons

(ALL TIMES ET)

8PM, SUN | FOX
The Simpsons – Call him “Homer Scissorhands,” the name of this episode, in which Homie finds out he’s got mad hairstylist skills. Elsewhere, after Lisa rejects him, Milhouse gets his swerve on with a popular fifth-grade girl.

4PM, SAT | NBC
Kentucky Derby – Mucho Macho Man and Uncle Mo … pro wrestlers? Nope, they’re among the horsies contending for the championship at today’s 137th Kentucky Derby.

9PM, SAT | SYFY
Almighty Thor – Richard Grieco – Yes, the 21 Jump Street guy – plays Thor enemy Loki in this Syfy spin on the story, which, of course, is very timely with this weekend’s big-screen Thor flick.

9PM, SAT | HBO
Lady Gaga Presents the Monsters Ball Tour: At Madison Square Garden – Gaga performs with a 10-piece band and 10 backup dancers in this MSG concert, taped in February.

10PM, SAT | PLAYBOY
Celebrity Sex Tales – Did someone declare this National Richard Grieco Day (someone besides Richard Grieco) and forget to tell us? ‘Cuz dude’s turning up in this new series, too, along with other, ahem, celebs – Corey Feldman, John Salley, Janice Dickinson and, whoa, Barry “Greg Brady” Williams – who dish tales about their own sexploits.

11:30PM, SAT | NBC
Saturday Night Live – Tina Fey returns to her old stomping grounds as she hosts SNL for a second time, and, hopefully, makes a guest appearance on Weekend Update while she’s there.

8PM, SUN | CBS – 18TH SEASON FINALE
The Amazing Race – The season ends and a winning team is named as the race wraps in the Florida Keys.

8PM, SUN | NBC
The Celebrity Apprentice – Jimmy Fallon and Tracy Morgan guest star for a challenge in which the teams have to produce a live comedy show, and, in the second half of the three-hour episode, one team is done in by bickering while tasked with creating an ad for vehicle safety and navigation system. Hmmmm, bickering team … who could that possibly be?

8PM, SUN | ABC
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition – In this lovely Mother’s Day episode, a volleyball coach who took in three sisters after their parents died gets a grand new home to replace her tiny, rundown house.

8PM, SUN | MILITARY CHANNEL
A Salute to the Navy SEALs – The Military Channel salutes the heroic Navy SEALs with three hours of specials devoted to the elite force, including Navy SEALs: Untold Stories, Ace in the Hole and Somali Pirate Takedown: The Real Story.

9PM, SUN | STYLE
Jerseylicious Reunion – One word: catfight. Or rather, catfights.

10PM, SUN | CBS – 9TH SEASON FINALE
CSI: Miami – Horatio captures a fugitive who has some nefarious plot far beyond jail escape on his mind.

10PM, SUN | BRAVO
Real Housewives of Orange County – Vicki yet again predicts the end of her marriage, but she may be right this time.

11PM, SUN | OWN – SERIES PREMIERE
Why Not? With Shania Twain – The country diva lets cameras in as she tries to rebuild her life after a very painful, public divorce.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– On Doctor Who (Sat., 9PM, BBC America), the TARDIS lands on a 17th-century pirate ship;
– An hour-long Parking Wars (Sat., 10PM, A&E) features the top 10 confrontations from the show’s first four seasons;
– Josh Groban and Doctor Who alum David Tennant are the guests on the season 9 opener of The Graham Norton Show (Sat., 10PM, BBC America);
– On back-to-back new Til Debt Do Us Part episodes (Sat., 10PM, CNBC), Gail counsels a wife and husband who’ve never discussed their finances with each other;
– Renee hosts a psychic party on Mob Wives (Sun., 8PM, VH1);
– Ruby (Sun., 8PM, Style) guest stars on Rosie O’Donnell‘s radio show;
– The real pirate haven of Port Royal, Jamaica is explored on the NGC special Wicked Pirate City (Sun., 8PM);
– Roxy tries to tell Trevor about her truck stop plans on Army Wives (Sun., 9PM, Lifetime);
– Bree dates, but doesn’t trust, a hot new detective, while the Scavos fight about their vacay on Desperate Housewives (Sun., 9PM, ABC);
– It’s Stewie vs. his evil twin Bertram on Family Guy (Sun., 9PM, Fox);
– A winner is chosen in the season 1 finale of Last Cake Standing (Sun., 9PM, Food Network);
– In the series premiere, six BBQ chefs compete for a $50,000 prize on Best in Smoke (Sun., 10PM, Food Network);
– The Breakout Kings (Sun., 10PM, A&E) are on the trail of a contract killer;
– Sarah and Luc get married on the season 5 finale of Brothers & Sisters (Sun., 10PM, ABC);
– Mary helps a witness reconnect with his son on In Plain Sight (Sun., 10PM, USA).

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• Filed in Real Housewives, Saturday Night Live, TV Picks
• Tags: Almighty Thor Syfy, Amazing Race season finale, Celebrity Apprentice, CSI: Miami season finale, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Jerseylicious Reunion, Lady Gaga HBO, Navy SEALs Military Channel, Real Housewives of Orange County, Saturday Night Live Tina Fey, The Simpsons, Why Not? With Shania Twain

(ALL TIMES ET)

9:30PM, SUN | SHOWTIME – 1ST SEASON FINALE
Episodes – With the Pucks! pilot finished, Sean and Beverly get ready to return to England. But when Sean goes to Matt’s house to say goodbye, he makes a shocking discovery that could put personal and professional relationships in serious jeopardy.

10PM, SAT | COMEDY CENTRAL
Patrice O’Neal: Elephant in the Room– The funny guy (and The Office guest star) riffs on everything from safe sex to being harassed.

8PM, SUN | CBS – 18TH SEASON PREMIERE
The Amazing Race: Unfinished Business – 11 former teams return to take another shot at the one meeeeellion dollar prize, including Kent and Vyxsin, brothers Jet and Cord and last season’s father and daughter team, Gary and Mallory.

8PM, SUN | ABC
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition – Dane Cook, Terry Fator and Duff Goldman help the team give a couple – including a soldier who was wounded during a shooting rampage at Fort Hood, Texas – their dream wedding and a new home.

8PM, SUN | FOX
The Simpsons – Halle Berry is the guest voice as Bart and Homer become the stars of Hollywood awards season when Homie stars in Bart’s film project: Angry Dad.

9PM, SUN | HBO
Big Love – Everyone’s against Barb’s pursuit of the priesthood, but she’s willing to do whatever she has to to make it happen, including divorcing the increasingly hapless Bill.

9PM, SUN | ABC
Desperate Housewives – Keith asks Bree to move to Florida with him, so he can be closer to his son.

9PM, SUN | NBC
Saturday Night Live Backstage – The new two-hour special is packed with fun fan scoop, including clips of favorite skits, interviews with the cast and various celebs’ commentary (including recent scene stealer Jon Hamm) on what it’s like to host the classic comedy series.

9PM, SUN | FOOD NETWORK – 1ST SEASON FINALE
Worst Cooks in America – Who are you rooting for: Team Joshie or Team Georg?

10PM, SUN | BRAVO
Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion, Part II – Kim and NeNe are still getting into it as the cast discusses season three with Andy Cohen, but Khandi also lets Kim know how fed up she is with her taking advantage of Khandi with her cheesy singing career.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– In the Primeval fourth season finale (Sat., 8PM, BBCA), Danny pops in with a warning for the team;
– Annie is stuck in purgatory in the Being Human third season premiere (Sat., 9PM, BBCA);
– Jerseylicious: Inside the Jungle (Sun., 8PM, Style) takes fans behind the scenes at the Gatsby Salon;
– In the series premiere of Secret Service Files (Sun., 8PM, NGC), agents raid a Bogota counterfeit plant where more than $25 million in fake U.S. money is made every year;
– The East tries to repeat as NBA All-Star Game (Sun., 8:30PM, TNT) champs;
– Abby tries to get one of her partners to take Hank’s case when she has to recuse herself on Californication (Sun., 9PM, Showtime);
– Chris becomes a puppeteer on Family Guy (Sun., 9PM, Fox);
– Mack Trucks CEO Denny Slagle is this week’s Undercover Boss (Sun., 9PM, CBS);
– Justin Timberlake guest stars on The Cleveland Show (Sun., 9:30PM, Fox);
– Horatio’s ultimate foe, the man who killed his wife, returns on CSI: Miami (Sun., 10PM, CBS).

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• Filed in Real Housewives, Saturday Night Live, TV Picks, TV Specials
• Tags: Big Love, Desperate Housewives, Episodes, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Justin Timberlake The Cleveland Show, Patrice O'Neal: Elephant in the Room, Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion Part II, Saturday Night Live Backstage, The Amazing Race: Unfinished Business, The Simpsons, Worst Cooks in America finale