All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– The New York Post claims Simon Cowell has been offered around $144 million per season – more than triple his current salary – to return as an American Idol judge. Is he worth it? Is anyone worth that much money for any job? Still, I don’t think I could sit through the show every week if it were Simon-less.

– Discovery Channel will go ahead with its plans for a Pitchmen marathon on July 1 (beginning at 11AM ET), leading up to the show’s season finale at 10PM. The show, of course, stars the late Billy Mays and shines the light on how his $1 billion business, with partner and fellow pitchman Anthony Sullivan, works.

– Mays, by the way, apparently suffered a heart attack and died in his sleep.

– Law & Order: Special Victims Unit stars Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni, who had been in reportedly contentious salary negotiations, have both signed on to return to the NBC drama next season. Christine Lahti is also joining the show as an ADA for four episodes.

– Former Saturday Night Live star Chris Kattan has signed on to be a regular on the new ABC comedy The Middle, which stars Patricia Heaton and Scrubs‘ Neil Flynn.

– CBS will premiere its reality series There Goes the Neighborhood on Aug. 9. American Idol alum Matt Rogers will host the show, which finds eight families stuck behind a 20-foot wall in their ‘hood, without electronic communication or entertainment (No TV! No videogames! No Internet!). The fams have to work together and compete against the other fams to win the $250,000 grand prize.

– Among VH1’s upcoming series: Reality shows starring Chili from TLC, Pepa from Salt n’ Pepa and Frank “The Entertainer” Moresco, the I Love New York and I Love Money alum who currently lives with his parents. The Entertainer will find Moresco looking for love. Line up, ladies … it’s not every day you get the chance to hook up with a 32-year-old who lives in Mom and Dad’s basement. I hope it isn’t, anyway.

– It’s official: the sixth, and final, season of Lost will include 18 hours of island drama.

And tonight in primetime:
– Fox is showing Legally Blonde (8PM ET), one of my all-time fave chick flicks
– Stars Reflect on the Man in the Mirror (8PM, TV Guide Channel), features celebs talking about Michael Jackson‘s impact on music and pop culture
– Catch Farrah Fawcett‘s chilling, Emmy-nominated performance in the 1984 TV flick The Burning Bed on Encore Drama (9:35PM)
– There’s more bratty teen drama on Bravo’s “real-life Gossip Girl” docudrama NYC Prep (9PM)
– Sean gets a surprise visitor in the hospital on Rescue Me (10PM, FX)
– More early auditions on America’s Got Talent (9PM, NBC)
– Linda has to move into Ted’s office after some toxic substance runs amuck on Better Off Ted (9:30PM, ABC)
– The BET Awards repeat (6:30PM, BET) in case you missed all the Michael Jackson tributes
– William’s father/son bonding weekend is interrupted when a pair of alcoholics need William’s help on The Cleaner (10PM, A&E)
– One smokin’ dude gets a cigar lounge on a new ep of Man Caves (9PM, DIY)
– And Dr. Mike tests leech therapy in India on Bite Me with Dr. Mike (10PM, Travel Channel)

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• Filed in Celebreality, Lost, Reality, TV News
• Tags: American Idol, Billy Mays, Chris Kattan, Chris Meloni, Christine Lahti, Farrah Fawcett, Frank "The Entertainer" Moresco, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Lost, Mariska Hargitay, Matt Rogers, Neil Flynn, Patricia Heaton, Pitchmen, Saturday Night Live, Simon Cowell, The Middle Chris Kattan, There Goes the Neighborhood

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Farrah Fawcett‘s death has seemingly taken a backseat to Michael Jackson coverage in the media, but TV Land will air the first two episodes of the late Charlie’s Angels star’s 2005 celebreality series Chasing Farrah on June 27 at 9PM ET. NBC will re-air Farrah’s Story, the recent two-hour documentary that followed her battle against cancer, tonight at 9PM, while the Bio Channel will air Bio Remembers: Farrah Fawcett June 29 at 10PM.

– The deaths of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson apparently sparked some Internet pranksters to start rumors about the deaths of Law & Order: Criminal Intent star Jeff Goldblum and Harrison Ford. Weird, random totally untrue.

– The Sarah Palin hubbub helped David Letterman best The Tonight Show in the ratings for the first time in more than three years.

– It’s a go: Noah Wyle will star in Steven Spielberg‘s alien-invasion pilot for TNT.

– The Scientologists are taking to the airwaves again with a new series of TV commercials, including one that aired Wednesday night during 360 with Anderson Cooper on CNN.

– Privileged star Joanna Garcia will pop up on the new season of Gossip Girl as Bree Buckley, a nasty Southerner who’s rumored to have a little somethin’-somethin’ going with Chace Crawford‘s Nate.

– NBC has announced its fall schedule premiere dates, including the premiere of The Jay Leno Show on Sept. 14 and the Sept. 17 premiere of Community, the best new sitcom to hit the tube since 30 Rock (which, by the way, returns to the network’s line-up on Oct. 15).

– If American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert doesn’t drop a great debut album, it won’t be because of a lack of talented collaborators. Among those writing and performing with Lambert on his disc are One Republic‘s Ryan Tedder and Idol judge/songwriter Kara DioGuardi, but also musicians who’ve worked with Evanescence, David Archuleta, Kelly Clarkson, Katy Perry, Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, Christina Aguilera, Jason Mraz and Britney Spears.

– Jeri Ryan will play a new con woman on TNT’s Leverage.

– The U.S Postal Service is releasing a new series of stamps that will honor classic TV stars and shows. The Aug. 11 release will find stamps featuring Groucho Marx, Rod Serling, Howdy Doody, Lassie, The Lone Ranger, The Honeymooners and I Love Lucy.

– And, a Fraggle Rock comic book?! Yep, it’s happening.

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• Filed in Celebreality, Reality, TV News
• Tags: Adam Lambert, American Idol, Chace Crawford, Charlie's Angels, David Letterman, Farrah Fawcett, Fraggle Rock, Gossip Girl, Groucho Marx, Howdy Doody, I Love Lucy, Jeff Goldblum, Jeri Ryan, Joanna Garcia, Kara DioGuardi, Lassie, Leverage, NBC Community, Noah Wyle, One Republic, Rod Serling, Ryan Tedder, Scientologists, Scientology, Steven Spielberg, The Honeymooners, The Jay Leno Show, The Lone Ranger, The Tonight Show

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Did Izzie and George really die in the Grey’s Anatomy season finale? Meh. I find it more interesting that series creator Shonda Rhimes is living in denial about how ridiculous much of the show has become, including this season’s “ghost sex.”

– Time magazine TV critic James Poniewozik makes an excellent point about how the best comedy on TV is not necessarily always the funniest comedy on TV, using last night’s Alan Alda gem on 30 Rock as a jumping off point. Alda’s quip that referred to the classic M*A*S*H series finale is, hands down, the best, most clever quote of the whole TV season.

– Saturday Night Live airs its 34th season finale – with host Will Ferrell and musical guest Green Day – this weekend, while Fox sketch comedy counterpart MadTV airs its series finale.

– More from SNL: Sunday night’s SNL: Just Shorts special (9PM ET, NBC), a round-up of the show’s most memorable short films, including, of course, “Dick in a Box,” and one of my early favorites, the classic synchronized swimming clip with Martin Short and Harry Shearer.

– And another series finale: tonight’s Prison Break send-off (8PM ET, Fox).

– It makes me love Jonah Hill even more that he riffed on gruesome twosome Heidi and Spencer in a new Harper’s Bazaar interview and photo spread.

– “I want to go to there” is not the only 30 Rock catchphrase that originated with Tina Fey‘s daughter Alice, apparently.

– Thanks, Neal McDonough, for spoiling the Desperate Housewives season finale. Oh, okay, the fate of his Dave character wasn’t really a surprise, though he did also confirm in his appearance on The View Thursday that the rumor of a DH spin-off with Mrs. McCluskey (Kathryn Joosten) is true.

– Farrah Fawcett‘s documentary on her battle with cancer, Farrah’s Story, is set to air tonight on NBC (9PM ET), but as the Charlie’s Angels star is reportedly on her deathbed, a producer and her on-again, off-again love Ryan O’Neal are fighting over the video.

– USA Today has a good rundown of where the networks stand as they head into Upfront Week next week. Among the shows likely to be on the air next season: The Melrose Place remake, an NCIS spin-off and the return of Scrubs, while the fates of My Name Is Earl, Chuck, Medium, The Unit, Cold Case and Without a Trace are still up in the air.

– And somehow, I doubt Jon Stewart is really worried about Jim Cramer, through Cramer seems to suggest in a new Time magazine interview that he should be.

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• Filed in 30 Rock, Celebreality, Comedy, Drama, TV News
• Tags: 30 Rock, Alan Alda, Chuck, Cold Case, Desperate Housewives, Farrah Fawcett, Green Day, Grey's Anatomy, Harry Shearer, Heidi, James Poniewozik, Jim Cramer, Jon Stewart, Jonah Hill, Kathryn Joosten, M*A*S*H, MadTV, Martin Short, Medium, Melrose Place, My Name Is Earl, NCIS, Neal McDonough, Prison Break, Ryan O'Neal, Saturday Night Live, season finale, series finale, Shonda Rhimes, SNL, Spencer, spin-off, The Unit, Tina Fey, Will Ferrell, Without a Trace