(ALL TIMES ET)
10PM | CBS – SERIES PREMIERE
Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior – Forest Whitaker – yes, Oscar winner Forest Whitaker – stars in this Minds spin-off about an elite BAU group that uses unorthodox methods to solve cases. Whitaker plays team lead Sam Cooper, whose cohorts also include Beth Griffith, played by another unlikely CBS procedural star, Janeane Garofalo.
8PM | FOX
American Idol – Hollywood round two means group performances, some of the most dramatic, catty moments of the season. It’s also usually where we see some new contenders emerge, so we’ve got that going for us.
8PM | ABC
The Middle – Frankie goes friend shopping for Brick. (Friend shopping).
8PM | CBS – 22ND SEASON PREMIERE
Survivor: Redemption Island – The group of 18 castaways that begin tonight’s competition include rivals Boston Rob Mariano and Russell Hantz. They’ll be among the first to play the game with the show’s new “Redemption Island” rule, where players voted off live in exile with a chance to re-enter the game.
9PM | ABC
Modern Family – The Valentine’s episode fell flat for me, but this one promises to be a redemption, as Shelley Long returns as Claire’s mom, who’s now dating Claire’s high school boyfriend (guest star Matt Dillon), and … Fizbo returns!
9PM | TLC – 1ST SEASON FINALE
My Strange Addiction – The season ends with one of the all-time weirdest cases: a woman who eats pottery (!) and sprinkles ashes on her food.
10PM | TV LAND
Hot in Cleveland – Susan Lucci and her All My Children cohorts pop in on Cleveland, as Victoria and her pals return to Los Angeles for her appearance on AMC.
10PM | FX
Justified – Boyd Crowder – the fantastic Walton Goggins – is back, working in a coal mine, and promising Raylan that his wicked ways are behind him. Raylan, of course, is skeptical. Meanwhile, the recently orphaned Loretta gets a new family: The Bennetts.
10PM | FOOD NETWORK
Restaurant: Impossible – Chef Robert visits an Italian restaurant in Missouri, where the food is so bad that even the proprietors won’t eat it. Yet they’re okay with taking their customers’ money for the nasty nosh …
11PM | BRAVO
Approval Matrix – Is this the new Best Week Ever? Here’s hoping, as the addictive New York magazine feature has inspired this show, in which pop culture pundits discuss newsy, buzzworthy events and things from the week.
Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Nova (9PM, PBS) investigates the 2009 crash of Air France Flight 447;
– Quadrangle (9PM, HBO) is a provocative documentary about a pair of couples who engaged in a four-way marriage;
– Nick Jonas guest stars on Mr. Sunshine (9:30PM, ABC);
– Tonight’s awesome challenge finds the contestants creating their own horror movie villain, plus a title, tagline and movie poster on Face Off (10PM, Syfy);
– A teen named Tanner wants to lose weight and marry his girlfriend on I Used to Be Fat (10PM, MTV);
– Debra Messing guest stars as a Chris Harrison-like TV host who investigates predators on Law & Order: SVU (10PM, NBC);
– The clinic is robbed on Off the Map (10PM, ABC);
– The client on Top Chef: All-Stars (10PM, Bravo): Cookie Monster, and he wants some delicious coo-kies!;
– Erica gets a lesson in embracing the present on Being Erica (11PM, SOAPnet).
And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Fred Armisen and Martin Lawrence;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Brian Williams;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Kurt Anderson;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Bill Hader;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Charles Barkley and J-WOWW;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Liam Neeson, Eddie Griffith and a performance by the cast of Rock of Ages;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Javier Bardem and Flavor Flav;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Rosie O’Donnell;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): TBA;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Yelawolf and Michael Rapaport.
All the tube news that’s fit to surf …
– Must See TV tonight: The endearing, awesomely talented John Goodman, he of the recent incredible weight loss, on The Late Show with David Letterman. Guessing that his new healthier bod will be a major topic of conversation, so it’ll be cool to hear how he did it. Seriously, dude looks fantastic, and like 20 years younger.
– Must At Least TiVo TV tonight: The premiere of Hot in Cleveland on TV Land. It’s a very, very broad comedy (and I’m not talking about the all-female cast), of which I am not usually a fan, but how do you not watch a show that brings Betty White back to the tube on a weekly basis?
– That chick that wowed you with her rendition of “At Last” on last night’s America’s Got Talent? She’s the mom of Precious Oscar nominee Gabourey Sidibe.
– My friend Scott and I were just discussing how we’re experiencing Bachelor/Bachelorette overkill, and here comes yet another entry in the franchise line-up: Bachelor Pad, the Big Brother-meets-The Bachelor spin-off, will debut on ABC on August 9 and include hosts Chris Harrison and Melissa Rycroft, as well as Bachelor alumni Tenley Molzahan, Wed Hayden, Craig McKinnon, Gia Allemand, Jonathan Novack, Michelle Kujawa (last season’s “emotional” Jake Pavelka bachelorette) and Kiptyn Locke among the contestants.
– Speaking of overkill, I have to ‘fess up to watching every incarnation of the Real Housewives series, but the upcoming D.C. batch are kinda boring me before the show even premieres. There’s already so much drama, real drama that actually affects most of us in some way, in D.C., that it’s hard to even pretend to take these particular reality star wannabes too seriously, ya know?
– Speaking of boring, TMZ.com reports that Sammi and Ronnie, last season’s Jersey Shore lovebirds, have proven to be so boring in season two that MTV is considering replacing them for season three. Meanwhile, can you imagine we’ll still care enough/be amused by enough these people to tune in for a third season?
– You have to give him this: he’s committed. A professional cartographer, and presumably huge Lost fan, has created a very cool map of the Lost island.
– Here’s a Sons of Anarchy fan’s visit to the SOA set, complete with Q+A with series creator (and portrayer of Big Otto … and real-life husband of series star Katey Sagal) Kurt Sutter.
– Syfy is developing a fun new show about Hollywood memorabilia.
– And if you’re in Los Angeles this week, try to hook up with USA Network‘s Emmy promo ice cream truck, where the network is handing out ice cream sandwiches for each of their shows, including “The Monk” (vanilla bean), “The Psych” (brown butter candied bacon), “The In Plain Sight” (chocolate chipotle) and “The Royal Pains” (balsamic fig and mascarpone).
Charlie Sheen, Russell Brand and Louis C.K. are getting most of the attention, but I’m most excited that one of the best new shows of last TV season — Wilfred — returns for its second season on FX tonight (10PM ET). Season one of the series ended with a cliffhanger — had Ryan (Elijah Wood) […]