Yeah, yeah, so I’ve watched the first couple of episodes of VH1’s latest celebreality series Famous Food, in which D-list types are given the capital to start a new restaurant in Los Angeles. Don’t judge me.

Besides, the show is not a bad idea; in fact, the idea is a good one, and I’m sure there is a group of D-listers who could be assembled to carry out the challenge successfully. This particular group, which includes Real Housewives of New Jersey‘s Danielle Staub, Heidi Montag of The Hills infamy, The Sopranos‘ Vincent Pastore, rapper Three 6 Mafia, that Eliot Spitzer hooker and the wishy-washiest Bachelor ever, Jake Pavelka? Is not that group.

Never mind that these hasbeens/wannabes/neverweres can’t get along well enough to make a single decision, resulting in last night’s episode, where batshit-delusional Staub committed two-thirds of the group’s total budget to opening the restaurant, leaving them precious little to actually operate the restaurant once it’s in shape …

The most telling moment came when the show’s judges – actual, successful L.A. restaurateurs Lonnie Moore and Mike Malin (yes, Mike Boogie from Big Brother) – heaped praise upon the stooges for their “concept board.”

What, you may ask, was the concept board? Some fancy, printed presentation in which the celebs fully explained and illustrated their concept for a picnic-themed restaurant? Oh, no.

Their concept board, which earned them compliments not only from Moore and Malin, but also from the designer who’s going to carry out their restaurant concept, was a piece of poster board (the kind you can buy at CVS, and probably have, the night your kid tells you he needs it for his science fair project, which, oh by the way, is due tomorrow) with photos and cutouts pasted on it.

Poster board … with cutouts pasted on it. A rather shabbily-created one, too, I might add, even by poster board-with-pictures-pasted-on-it standards.

In other words, real-life, successful restaurateurs are handing over $150,000 to a group of ill-qualified celebrities to open an L.A. eatery in one of the city’s hottest areas, partly based on an art project that wouldn’t even earn a fourth grader a “C.”

So, anyone else willing to admit you’re watching Famous Food?

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• Filed in Reality
• Tags: Danielle Staub, Famous Food, Famous Food VH1, Heidi Montag, Jake Pavelka, Mike Boogie, Mike Malin, Three 6 Mafia, Vincent Pastore

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Luke Wilson has signed on to star as Laura Dern‘s druggie ex-hubby in the HBO comedy pilot Enlightened.

– The cast for Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, which premieres on CBS on Feb. 11, has been revealed, and fan favorite Rupert Boneham is among them. Other famous and infamous returnees: Season two runner-up Colby Donaldson, season 10 winner Tom Westman, season seven winner Sandra Diaz-Twine, season two’s Jerri Manthey, season four and All-Stars alum Rob Mariano and recent runner-up Russell Hantz.

– Could last night’s “shocking” Desperate Housewives death have been any less shocking?

– Sitcoms Online.com has a great preview of the sitcoms that will released on DVD in 2010.

– Kim Raver‘s Grey’s Anatomy guest gig is turning into a full-time job.

– Dexter star Julie Benz has landed on Desperate Housewives. Warning: If you don’t want to know why she’s available to hang out on Wisteria Lane now, there are maaaajor Dexter season four spoilers in the story.

– Hulk Hogan makes his TNA TV wrestling debut tonight.

– Is Kate Gosselin turning to a reality TV show to find a new hubby? That’s the rumor, according to Popeater.com. I have to admit that I’m curious about the kind of guy who would sign on to date that woman, with that many kids.

– It’s official: Former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich will compete on the next season of Celebrity Apprentice, along with Bret Michaels, Sharon Osbourne, Darryl Strawberry, Cyndi Lauper and the recently bankrupt Sinbad.

– We already know viewers have been fleeing The Jay Leno Show, a.k.a. NBC’s 10PM hour, and now we know where they’re going: cable, and shows like Sons of Anarchy, Teen Mom and one of my new faves, Men of a Certain Age.

– Kathy Griffin said something “vulgar” during her New Year’s Eve CNN broadcast with Anderson Cooper … shocking. Isn’t that why they hire her, really? Her banter with Cooper, and his reaction when she says something naughty, is what makes them fun to watch.

– And tonight in primetime: Jake Pavelka, who tried (and failed, obviously) to win the hand of Jillian Harris on the last season of The Bachelorette, becomes the latest Bachelor as season 14 of The Bachelor debuts (8PM ET, ABC); also debuting its 14th season: Antiques Roadshow (8PM, PBS); a movie several of the Bachelor contestants may want to DVR: He’s Just Not That Into You airs on HBO (8PM); ABC Family’s Secret Life of the American Teenager returns with new episodes (8PM); Buddy and company have to bake 50 wedding cakes in a week on Cake Boss (9PM, TLC); a new Unwrapped (9PM, Food Network) looks at famous foods like Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and Wolfgang Puck pizzas; Owen and his fam have to move in with his father temporarily on Men of a Certain Age (10PM, TNT); and, sadly, the title of the new reality show Conveyor Belt of Love (10PM, ABC) is literal: Men on a conveyor belt pass by women and have 60 seconds to try and convince the women of their sponge-worthiness.

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• Filed in TV News
• Tags: Celebrity Apprentice, Hulk Hogan TNA, Jake Pavelka, Julie Benz Desperate Housewives, Kim Raver Grey's Anatomy, Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, The Bachelor premiere, The Bachelor season 14