All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– “Jon Gosselin, American Hero”? Bleccch. If there was any lesson to be learned from last night’s Jon & Kate Plus 8 season premiere, it’s that both Gosselins are big ol’ messes and that neither of them is truly better off with the money, fame (infamy?) or freebies their reality show has brought them. But, for all the nasty behavior we see on-screen from the brittle Kate, let’s be honest: Mr. Gosselin doesn’t appear to be much of a prize, either. So, “American hero”?! Again, bleccch. That word is tossed around all too lightly, particularly given that we just celebrated Memorial Day.

– Remember when Friday night used to be one of the best TV-watching nights of the week, back when J.R. was getting shot by Kris-ten (as Sue Ellen called her sister) on Dallas and Don Johnson was rocking his white suits, pastel tees and mandals on Miami Vice? USA Today points out that, with 10 scripted series on the Friday night schedule next fall, it may no longer be one of the most skippable viewing nights.

– Meanwhile, The Hollywood Reporter is sizing up next fall’s biggest timeslot battles, including the Friday night, 9PM race, which pits Southland vs. Medium vs. Dollhouse vs. Ugly Betty, or, as THR writer James Hibberd calls it, “The Island of Broken Toys.” Funny. Though I’d argue that Southland shouldn’t be lumped in with the other, has-been, series.

– The New York Times says, if their TV show ratings are a reliable indicator, the Jonas Brothers may be headed the way of ‘N Sync, 98 Degrees and LFO.

– Twitter may become a TV show, though the specifics of how are still sketchy.

– We’ve got the Real Housewives of the O.C., Atlanta, New York City and New Jersey, and while there are already rumors of a Beverly Hills version in the works, Bravo is also reportedly looking to find the Real Housewives of D.C., too.

– And Clay Aiken‘s recent anti-Adam Lambert statements, followed by his sarcastic follow-up/pseudo-backtracking make one thing clear: He’s kinda a big tool.

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• Filed in American Idol, Comedy, Drama, Reality, TV News
• Tags: 'N Sync, 98 Degrees, Adam Lambert, American Idol, Clay Aiken, D.C., Dallas, Dollhouse, Fall schedule, Fall TV schedule, Friday night, Jon & Kate Plus 8, Jon Gosselin, Jonas, Jonas Bros., Jonas Brothers, kate Gosselin, LFO, Medium, Miami Vice, Real Housewives, Real Housewives of Washington, Reality, Southland, The Gosselins, timeslot battle, Twitter, Twitter TV, Ugly Betty

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Last night’s Chuck season (NOT series!) finale rocked, but I am sooo happy I gave up on Heroes before this ridiculous season finale, though, like most of those who are still watching, prolly wouldn’t have understood what the frick was going on anyway.

– Next week’s Scrubs season finale may not be the series finale after all. Talks continue to bring back the show – likely with some new cast members – for a ninth season.

– Lisa Rinna doesn’t want to go back to Melrose Place. She’s got cougar aspirations instead.

– Big Love‘s recently concluded third season was far and away the show’s best, but yes, Roman (Harry Dean Stanton) really is dead and staying that way.

– FX is already one of my favorite cable destination – Sons of Anarchy, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Damages … – and it’s only getting better: Timothy Olyphant is starring in an upcoming FX drama pilot based on Elmore Leonard‘s Fire in the Hole. Go and Deadwood star Olyphant will play a U.S. Marshal who returns to his Kentucky hometown.

– The Jonas Brothers are hosting the Teen Choice Awards in August. Ahhhh! Squeal!

– Wondering what Matthew Bomer, the almost-Superman and former Guiding Light star, will do now that his Bryce Larkin bit the dust on Chuck last night? He’s signed on to star in what promises to be another character-driven hit on USA.

– J.J. Abrams says ‘Down with spoilers!’

– Tribbles were TV’s first bisexuals?! Seems so.

– All of a sudden, American Idol watchers are jumping on the Kris Allen bandwagon. Why? Methinks they’re bored by the fact that Adam is so far and away the best performer – and the only one consistently worth tuning in for – on the show. As for Kris, he’s not terrible, but he’s kinda the equivalent of a mayonnaise-and-processed American cheese sandwich on two pieces of Wonder Bread. Though perhaps not as doughy.

– Adam, BTW, has sparked his own dictionary.

– Life-size wax figures of the Seinfeld cast … me want.

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• Filed in TV News
• Tags: Adam Lambert, American Idol, Chuck, J.J. Abrams, Jonas Brothers, Scrubs, Seinfeld, Spoilers, Star Trek