Melrose Place
Star Rating: 3 out of 5

Stars: Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, a bunch of pretty people you’ve mostly never heard of, plus old school Melrose-ers Laura Leighton as Sydney Andrews and Thomas Calabro as Michael Mancini

The Big Idea: Same Los Angeles apartment building, same sex-and-ambition-fueled shenanigans, different cast

To Watch or Not to Watch: Yes. But only in the hope that Heather Locklear will join the cast and do for Melrose Place 2.0 what she did for the original, which is, to make it a guilty pleasure classic.

Otherwise … eh.

TV Screener Tidbit #1: No, you’re not imagining it … Sydney really was dead when the original series ended. So how’s she alive and well and causing all kinds of new ruckus in the remake? It’ll be explained.

TV Screener Tidbit #2: Daphne Zuniga, as wishy-washy photog Jo, and Josie Bissett, as Jane, the ex-Mrs. Mancini, have reportedly already signed on to make guest appearances, and while an initial round of talks fell through, Heather Locklear is also said to be in negotiations to return to her old residence.

Melrose Place premieres Tuesday, September 8, at 8PM ET on The CW

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• Filed in Review - TV
• Tags: Amanda Woodward, Heather Locklear, Melrose Place, Melrose Place CW, Melrose Place remake

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Tonight’s big premiere: Michael and Michael Have Issues (10:30PM ET, Comedy Central), a great new comedy about comedians/The State alums/real-life pals Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter and their sometimes prickly relationship. In the premiere, the two, who co-star in a show-within-the-show sketch series, get into a little war over the attention of a reporter – a high school newspaper reporter – who’s an intern at the show and wants to write a feature on them. I’ve seen the first two episodes, and I think it’s my favorite new comedy since I discovered the joy of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

– Mad Men season two is out on DVD today, and Jezebel.com has a great list of 15 feminist moments from the show.

– Does Simon Cowell have plans to become the new Walt Disney?

– Russell Brand is returning as host of the MTV Video Music Awards, which are returning to New York City, on Sept. 13.

– So many TV shows are headed to the big screen, but TBS is bringing a sitcom version of the Ice Cube flick Are We There Yet? to the tube next June.

– Hapless photographer Jo (Daphne Zuniga) – really, she had some of the worst luck of any female on the show – will return to Melrose Place when the remake hits The CW this fall.

– Jennifer Garner has a new development deal with ABC, though it does not, unfortunately, involve her sharing the screen with Vaughn, Marshall, Dixon, Sloane, Weiss or Papa Bristow.

– FX is filming a new semi-improvised sitcom called The League, about a group of thirtysomething dudes and their fantasy football league. The show co-stars comedians Nick Kroll and Paul Sheer, as well as Popular‘s Leslie Bibb and My Name Is Earl‘s Nadine Velazquez.

– NBC Universal Digital has released the first three episodes of its latest online sitcom, CTRL, which features the always delightful Tony Hale, a.k.a. Arrested Development‘s Buster and Chuck‘s Buy More associate, Emmett.

– Eliza Couple, one of the best additions to Scrubs last season as intern Denise/Jo, has been upgraded to regular status for next season.

– That mediocre, at best, Entourage season premiere scored big ratings, more than doubling the number of viewers who tuned in for the previous season premiere. In fact, HBO’s whole Sunday night line-up, which includes the red hot True Blood and new dramedy Hung, saw a ratings increase on Sunday.

– And tonight in primetime:

– A 58-year-old grandma is among the contenders on Wipeout (8PM ET, ABC)
– The Travel Channel turns its cameras on Extreme Barhopping (8PM), including a bar that serves a $10,000 drink
– Mariah Carey‘s new video “Obsessed” (the one where she dresses like a dude and reportedly makes fun of Eminem) premieres on America’s Got Talent (9PM, NBC), which is hosted, natch, by her hubby, Nick Cannon
– Timothy Hutton returns with his merry band of Robin Hood-ish con men for the second season premiere of Leverage (9PM, TNT)
– CNBC examines Porn: The Business of Pleasure (9PM)
– The Practice star Dylan McDermott makes primetime a lot prettier as he returns to the tube in the new Jerry Bruckheimer undercover cop drama Dark Blue (10PM, TNT)
– Season two of Verminators premieres at 10PM (Discovery)
– Bravo has a new ep of Top Chef Masters (10PM)
– E! premieres a new True Hollywood Story on the late Natasha Richardson (10PM)
– On The Real World: Cancun (10PM, MTV), everybody’s trying to get laid. So, it’s like every other episode of RW
– It’s the aforementioned premiere of Comedy Central’s Michael and Michael Have Issues at 10:30PM
– And, it’s not quite primetime, but you at least have to set the TiVo for Paul McCartney‘s first trip to The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS), and his first return to the Ed Sullivan Theater since he and The Beatles made their American debut there 45 years ago

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• Filed in TV News
• Tags: Are We There Yet? TV show, CTRL, Daphne Zuniga, Eliza Couple, Entourage, Jennifer Garner, Mad Men, Melrose Place, Michael and Michael Have Issues, Michael Ian Black, Michael Showalter, MTV Video Music Awards, Russell Brand, The League FX, Tony Hale

Here’s an extended preview of the Melrose Place remake that will air on The CW in the fall.

What’s good: The re-appearance of Michael Mancini (Thomas Calabro) and Sydney Andrews (Laura Leighton), especially in the scene where it’s clear Sydney is up to her old blackmailing tricks with Michael.

What’s not-so-hot: The nearly 25-year-old Ashlee Sinpson-Wentz‘s Violet is supposed to be four months out of high school, i.e. 18-ish? That’s as kookie as 26-year-old Ian Ziering playing high school student Steve on Beverly Hills 90210, an idea that became less and less believable the faster Ziering’s hairline receded, but which was still more believable than Jessica Simpson‘s sister looks playing an 18-year-old.

What do you think? Are you at all excited about this Melrose reboot?

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• Filed in Drama, Ya Gotta See This!
• Tags: Ashlee Sinpson-Wentz, Ian Ziering, Laura Leighton, Melrose Place, Melrose remake, Michael Mancini, Remake, Sydney Andrews, The CW, Thomas Calabro

Here’s the official line-up from The CW, followed by the network’s description of its new series:

THE CW PRIMETIME SCHEDULE: FALL 2009
(All Times ET/PT)

MONDAY
8PM – Gossip Girl
9PM – One Tree Hill

TUESDAY
8PM – 90210
9PM – Melrose Place

WEDNESDAY
8PM – America’s Next Top Model
9PM – The Beautiful Life

THURSDAY
8PM – The Vampire Diaries
9PM – Supernatural

FRIDAY
8PM – Smallville
9PM – America’s Next Top Model encore

…Read more

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• Filed in Comedy, Drama, TV News
• Tags: 90210, Ashlee Simpson, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, Ashton Kutcher, Corbin Bleu, CW, Fall season, Kevin Williamson, Laura Leighton, Melrose Place, Michael Mancini, Mischa Barton, New shows, Remake, Smallville, Supernatural, Sydney Andrews, The Beautiful Life, The Vampire Diaries, Thomas Calabro

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Did Izzie and George really die in the Grey’s Anatomy season finale? Meh. I find it more interesting that series creator Shonda Rhimes is living in denial about how ridiculous much of the show has become, including this season’s “ghost sex.”

– Time magazine TV critic James Poniewozik makes an excellent point about how the best comedy on TV is not necessarily always the funniest comedy on TV, using last night’s Alan Alda gem on 30 Rock as a jumping off point. Alda’s quip that referred to the classic M*A*S*H series finale is, hands down, the best, most clever quote of the whole TV season.

– Saturday Night Live airs its 34th season finale – with host Will Ferrell and musical guest Green Day – this weekend, while Fox sketch comedy counterpart MadTV airs its series finale.

– More from SNL: Sunday night’s SNL: Just Shorts special (9PM ET, NBC), a round-up of the show’s most memorable short films, including, of course, “Dick in a Box,” and one of my early favorites, the classic synchronized swimming clip with Martin Short and Harry Shearer.

– And another series finale: tonight’s Prison Break send-off (8PM ET, Fox).

– It makes me love Jonah Hill even more that he riffed on gruesome twosome Heidi and Spencer in a new Harper’s Bazaar interview and photo spread.

– “I want to go to there” is not the only 30 Rock catchphrase that originated with Tina Fey‘s daughter Alice, apparently.

– Thanks, Neal McDonough, for spoiling the Desperate Housewives season finale. Oh, okay, the fate of his Dave character wasn’t really a surprise, though he did also confirm in his appearance on The View Thursday that the rumor of a DH spin-off with Mrs. McCluskey (Kathryn Joosten) is true.

– Farrah Fawcett‘s documentary on her battle with cancer, Farrah’s Story, is set to air tonight on NBC (9PM ET), but as the Charlie’s Angels star is reportedly on her deathbed, a producer and her on-again, off-again love Ryan O’Neal are fighting over the video.

– USA Today has a good rundown of where the networks stand as they head into Upfront Week next week. Among the shows likely to be on the air next season: The Melrose Place remake, an NCIS spin-off and the return of Scrubs, while the fates of My Name Is Earl, Chuck, Medium, The Unit, Cold Case and Without a Trace are still up in the air.

– And somehow, I doubt Jon Stewart is really worried about Jim Cramer, through Cramer seems to suggest in a new Time magazine interview that he should be.

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• Filed in 30 Rock, Celebreality, Comedy, Drama, TV News
• Tags: 30 Rock, Alan Alda, Chuck, Cold Case, Desperate Housewives, Farrah Fawcett, Green Day, Grey's Anatomy, Harry Shearer, Heidi, James Poniewozik, Jim Cramer, Jon Stewart, Jonah Hill, Kathryn Joosten, M*A*S*H, MadTV, Martin Short, Medium, Melrose Place, My Name Is Earl, NCIS, Neal McDonough, Prison Break, Ryan O'Neal, Saturday Night Live, season finale, series finale, Shonda Rhimes, SNL, Spencer, spin-off, The Unit, Tina Fey, Will Ferrell, Without a Trace