Miami Social
Star Rating: 2 out of 5

Stars: Sorah, Michael, Maria, Ariel, George, Katrina and Hardy

The Big Idea: We meet and quickly learn to despise a group of Miami friends who claim to be the hipster doofus elite among the city’s movers and shakers

To Watch or Not to Watch: Eh. If you’ve seen The Hills, Miami Social is like The Hills: The Next Generation, with the inanity cranked up a notch or ten because, hey, these people are twice as old as The Hills gang, no matter how many cosmetic procedures or tanning sessions they undergo to try and mask that fact.

They’re all annoying in their own ways, trust me, but there are two special reserved slots on the Reality TV People You’ll Want to Bitch Slap at First Site list: The first is for Ariel, a model-turned-fashion show producer who, given to namechecking and thinking he’s all that, defends the honor of Kim Kardashian on one hand, and, in an upcoming episode, demands that an overweight woman be removed from his table. DIY porn stars? Good enough to be in Ariel’s presence. But don’t you dare let someone whose body fat exceeds 10 percent near him!

Then there’s George, a mortgage banker who lives in the same building as ex-wife Sorah and continues to dump his emotional baggage on her. His current heavy load: Lina, his whackadoo Russian girlfriend. Lina picks fights with wussy George and then dons Fredericks of Hollywood-ish gear to get him back in line, only to take off on a work trip and lie to him about what continent she’s actually on. More fighting ensues, after which whipped puppy George answers her demand that he pick her up at the airport. In fact, George is so pathetically led around by Lina that he doesn’t need a bitch slap so much as he needs to put on a pair of big boy pants (and not the white, gauzy bottoms he seems so fond of wearing) and send his scary cartoon of a mate back to the Boris and Natasha cartoon from whence she sprang.

As for the rest of the characters, you’ve seen them all before (some literally … see TV Screener Tidbits below), and just because they’re now living on sandy beaches, drinking in trendy hot spots and obsessing on the minutiae of their boring relationships on the other side of the country, it doesn’t mean it’s gotten any less tiresome.

TV Screener Tidbit: You’ve seen two of these reality “stars” before: Hardy, dubbed by his friends as the mayor of Miami nightlife, was a competitor on Big Brother 2 (the season that also introduced us to Dr. Will and Mike Boogie), while real estate go-getter Katrina was among the runners-up to Bill Rancic on the first season of Donald Trump‘s The Apprentice.

Miami Social premieres Tuesday, July 14, at 10PM ET on Bravo

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