“America perceives New York City prep school kids as being very stuck up, very snobbish and very bitchy and wealthy.”

That’s the opening line of the premiere episode of Bravo’s latest reality offering, NYC Prep, and, having been a Manhattan private school kid back in the ’80s, I have to admit I was intrigued.

Then I watched the pilot, and that intrigue quickly turned to disgust, loathing and fear for the future of today’s privileged youth.

Sure, the six main characters are overindulged little ingrates, but that’s a gimme on a show like this. What really got to me were their inflated senses of self and the fact that most of them can’t string together a grammatically correct English sentence – not great PR for their academic institutions, whose kindergarten tuitions typically total $35K a year.

Also surprising is how unattractive most of these kids are.Yes , we’re conditioned to expect beautiful people – er, actors – on shows like Gossip Girl, but a couple of these NYC Prep kids are down right fug. No, physicality shouldn’t matter at all, but they think they’re the sh*t.

A couple of the guys, PC and Sebastien, posture about like peacocks in Paul Smith frocks, but they come across as fools. Because despite having won the trust fund jackpot, they got the short shrift from the DNA pool.

After spending an hour with these snots, I didn’t feel the satisfaction of having indulged in a guilty pleasure. I felt sad. Here are six kids (among thousands in the city) who’ve essentially been  robbed of their childhoods. “It’s like you feel like you’re an adult by the time you’re 16,” one of the most obnoxious female Prep-ers, Jessie, says.

Well honey, you’re not. And your parents should be ashamed of themselves for letting you gallivant around town as if you are.

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All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Ed McMahon, TV land’s greatest sidekick as Johnny Carson‘s announcer on The Tonight Show, has died at age 86. The Hollywood veteran had reportedly been battling bone cancer, among other illnesses.

– Yes, it’s true, we sadly haven’t seen the last of Jessica Simpson on reality TV. Simpson will star in The Price of Beauty for VH-1, where she’ll travel around the world and “study the local fashions, dietary fads and beauty regimes and even participate in some of the extreme practices she discovers.”

– Jon and Kate Gosselin confirmed that they’re separating on last night’s Jon & Kate Plus 8 (as if People.com’s confirmation that they’d filed divorce papers earlier in the day didn’t make their announcement moot), and now the speculation is already starting about a possible custody battle.

– Producer/writer Bryan Fuller has left Heroes again, which means there’s little chance of the tired show returning to its first-season glory.

– The View co-host, and Celiac disease book author, Elisabeth Hasselbeck is being sued by another Celiac disease book author, who claims E.H. stole her idea.

– Bravo is launching a new series in which host Andy Cohen will talk about … other Bravo series.

– And tonight in primetime:

– The fourth season premiere of America’s Got Talent (9PM ET, NBC), with newbie host Nick Cannon
– The series premiere of NYC Prep (10PM, Bravo)
– The Real Housewives of New Jersey Watch What Happens Reunion (9PM, Bravo)
– The second season premiere of The Cleaner (10PM, A&E)
– The premiere of the Battle of the Network Stars-ish The Superstars (8PM, ABC)
– Cloris Leachman and Theo Huxtable, a.k.a. Malcolm-Jamal Warner guest star on HawthoRNe (9PM, TNT)
– The finale of Life After People on History Channel (10PM)
– Rescue Me‘s creative resurgence continues on FX (10PM)
– And Ted learns about Phil and Lem’s fight club – make that a medieval fight club, in the Veridian basement – in a hilarious new episode of Better Off Ted (9:30PM, ABC)

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• Tags: America's Got Talent, Andy Cohen, Better Off Ted, Bravo, Bryan Fuller, Cloris Leachman, Ed McMahon, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Hawthorne, Heroes, Jessica Simpson, Jon and Kate Gosselin divorce, Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Nick Cannon, NYC Prep, Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion, Rescue Me, The Cleaner, The Price of Beauty

NYC Prep
Star Rating: 4 out of 5 for its potential as the guilty pleasure of the summer

Stars: PC, Jessie, Taylor, Sebastian, Kelli and Camille

The Big Idea: Bravo’s latest reality drama follows some Richie Riches, a.k.a. a group of Upper East Side Manhattan prep school students who, despite their claims in interviews to the contrary, desperately want to be the real-life equivalents of the Gossip Girl gang.

To Watch or Not to Watch: If you like Gossip Girl, or wonder what some of the Real Housewives of New York City were probably like in high school, yes. Which of the wealthy, fashion-obsessed, spoiled, fake ID-possessin’, potty-mouthed teens will be your fave? That all depends on which Gossip Girl character is your favorite.

Do you like …

Chuck Bass? Then you probably won’t like, but will certainly recognize an obvious wannabe Chuck in PC, the suit-attired, tight-trousered senior who’s said to be the most popular guy on the NYC prep school scene. He does seem to know everyone, and impresses his friends by scoring front row seats to a Fashion Week show, but he also, during a meet-up with his former girlfriend/current just-friend Jessie, throws a water bottle at Jessie and calls her the C-word. Yes, that C-word. Chuck Bass he ain’t, even if he donned a dapper ascot.

Blair Waldorf? Meet Camille, the Harvard-obsessed junior who plans to get a perfect score on the SAT so she’ll be admitted to her dream school. Overachieving Camille also sees herself as the school social director, is on the hunt for a boyfriend even though no one seems to live up to her standards and shakes off the pressures of her ambitious lifestyle by using her fake ID to go clubbing at the hottest New York hotspots. Put a headband on her brunette noggin’ and swap Harvard for Yale and she’s ready for her own Dorota.

Nate Archibald? Then you’ll spot Sebastian as the obvious pretty boy of the group, though he certainly doesn’t have the sweetness of the TV show version of GG‘s Nate. What he does have – and what seems to be the sum of his appeal to the young ladies he claims to hook up with by the plenty – is the ability to drop a few French phrases and a mop of hair that makes him look like what would happen if a Jonas brother and Joey Lawrence mated … whoa! Sebastian also has an uber-annoying habit of flipping his bangs every few seconds. The first NYC Prep drinking game? Chug every time Sebastian swings his long locks away from his face. You’ll be sloppy by the end of his first segment.

Jenny Humphrey? Hello Taylor, the 15-year-old who – quel horror! – goes to public school. Yes, it’s a very competitive public school, but Taylor still doesn’t totally fit in with her wealthier friends, who, as she says, don’t think anything of spending $500 a day dining out (including picking up her tab when they go out). Taylor also seems to attract the attention of fellas like Sebastian and PC, who’s still put off when Taylor is like, so un-coo-el when she gets excited about seeing Amanda Bynes at Fashion Week. Yeah, okay, so Amanda Bynes is sorta uncool. Still.

And the rest of the gang: Jessie, a senior who says she treats her clothing like it’s her children and who wants to be in the fashion biz (what the world needs now); and Kelli, the 17-year-old aspiring pop star whose parents live in the Hamptons, leaving Kelli and her teen brother to reside by themselves in a swanky Upper East Side apartment.

So, is NYC Prep in the same league as Bravo’s addictive Housewives series? Initially at least, not quite, though you’re likely to find yourself just as unable to look away from these children who, on a daily basis, buy dinners most people would have to save up for.

TV Screener Tidbit: Lest you knock yourself out trying to find out which prep schools host the Prep squad, check out the show’s Wikipedia page for the scoop.

NYC Prep premieres Tuesday, June 23, at 10PM ET on Bravo

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