What’s the perfect condiment for a meat tornado or the Ron Swanson version of a turkey burger (a fried turkey leg inside a grilled hamburger)? BBQ sauce, of course, but not just any BBQ sauce; it must be Ron Fu**ing Swanson BBQ Sauce, and yes, that is a real thing.

And, for a mere $14.95, the NBC Universal store will ship you a jar of the sauce, described as “great on a Turf ‘N’ Turf and all cuts of meat. For use in the oven or the grill. Truly a meat lovers delight.”

BTW, should you decide to try to make your own version of Ron’s own version of a turkey burger, check out the Eater.com blogger who already concocted one of the meaty sammiches.

And, just because, a video of Ron Swanson’s (Nick Offerman) greatest moments (let’s be honest, there are a lot to choose from):

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• Tags: Nick Offerman, Parks and Recreation, Ron Fu**ing Swanson BBQ Sauce, Ron Swanson BBQ Sauce, Ron Swanson meat tornado, Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness

(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | FX
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia – In “Frank Reynolds’ Little Beauties,” the gang takes on toddlers and tiaras when Frank produces his own kiddie beauty pageant, then worries people will think he’s a perv. Which, of course, he is, but not in this instance.

8PM | CBS
The Big Bang Theory – Leonard and Amy get to know each other when he accompanies her to a wedding. Meanwhile, Bernadette and Howard spend the weekend with Mrs. Wolowitz.

8PM | NBC
Community – Freaks and Geeks star Martin Starr plays the gang’s professor, and advisor for a Model United Nations project, while Chang takes to his new campus security guard a little too enthusiastically.

8:30PM | CBS – SERIES PREMIERE
How to Be a Gentleman – It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia co-star and producer David Hornsby (he plays Rickety Cricket) stars in this new sitcom about a magazine etiquette columnist who’s told by his boss to modernize his column. His solution: hire his former high school bully nemesis (Entourage star Kevin Dillon) to be his life coach. Should you watch? Eh. Kevin Dillon is essentially playing Johnny Drama (which I don’t mean as a compliment), and everything else about the show feels very been there, done that.

8:30PM | NBC
Parks and Recreation – The former Mrs. Ron Swanson, Tammy One (guest star Patricia Clarkson), returns to wreak even more havoc on Ron’s (Nick Offerman) life, while Ben tries to help Tom get his new company’s finances on track.

9PM | ABC
Grey’s Anatomy – The chief makes a major career decision, while the fifth-year residents get their first chance to perform solo surgeries.

9PM | NBC
The Office – Robert (James Spader) motivates the sales staff with a rousing speech … and a major prize for the top dog.

9PM | LIFETIME
Project Runway – The designers have to whip up ’70s-inspired frocks.

10PM | CBS
The Mentalist – Jane gets his job back, but when he’s assigned to a new team, he plots to get Lisbon and the crew back.

10:30PM | FX – 3RD SEASON FINALE
Archer – In the conclusion of the “Heart of Archness” saga, Archer and company escape from the pirate island.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Old Spice Guy Isaiah Mustafa guests on Charlie’s Angels (8PM, ABC);
– Stefan is reunited with an old love on The Vampire Diaries (8PM, The CW);
– Auditions continue on The X Factor (8PM, Fox);
– Finch talks about his machine’s origins on Person of Interest (9PM, CBS);
– On Jersey Shore (10PM, MTV), Deena has a pregnancy scare, which should really scare all of us, as a people, that she might unleash a mini-Deena on the world;
– Duffy doesn’t welcome Jane’s help on his murder/kidnapping case on Prime Suspect (10PM, NBC);
– On the fifth season premiere of Private Practice (10PM, ABC), Pete has a heart attack and Addison plots having a baby with Jake (Benjamin Bratt).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Patton Oswalt;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Tony Bennett;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Mark Cuban;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Death Cab for Cutie and Kaley Cuoco;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Chaz Bono and Albert Brooks;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Matt Stone and Trey Parker;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Melissa McCarthy;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Carson Kressley;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Sons of Anarchy creator Kurt Sutter.

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• Filed in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Late Night, Project Runway, TV Picks
• Tags: Archer season finale, Community, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Parks and Recreation, Project Runway, Ron Swanson, The Mentalist, The Office James Spader

(ALL TIMES ET)

9:30 and 10PM | NBC
Parks and Recreation – Back-to-back new episodes of P&R is nothing short of awesome sauce. First up, Leslie and Ann have a fight when Ann reacts unenthusiastically to Leslie’s offer to get her a job in the city government, while Tom promotes his Snake Juice at the Snakehole Lounge. In the second episode, Leslie and Ben road trip to Indy, and she has a tough time keeping her feelings for him in check.

8PM | FOX
American Idol – Jordin Sparks performs, Steven Tyler premieres his new video and, somewhere in the hour-long commercial, the final four is cut down to a final three.

8PM | CBS
Big Bang Theory – When Howard tells Mama Howard that he’s going to marry Bernadette, Mama Howard ends up in the hospital.

8PM | NBC – 2ND SEASON FINALE
Community – The paintball war continues, as Jeff and the study group ban together to take on those who dare to oppose them.

8PM | THE CW – 2ND SEASON FINALE
Vampire Diaries – Damon has flashbacks of old school Katherine – Katherine in 1864, to be exact – as Gone With the Wind plays in the town square.

9PM | CBS – 11TH SEASON FINALE
CSI – Ray faces off with Nate Haskell when the serial killer lures him to the house where he began his murder streak.

9PM | THE CW – 1ST SEASON FINALE
Nikita – Alex goes rogue, Percy makes one more big play for the CIA and Nikita’s life is in imminent danger, but Michael’s unable to help her because he’s trapped in Division.

9PM | NBC
The Office – Kathy Bates guest stars as things spin out of control in the office with Dwight realizing his dream of becoming (acting) manager and big tall doofus Gabe trying desperately to woo Erin back..

10PM | CBS
The Mentalist – Jane goes to the symphony! Well, he investigates an orchestra’s members, anyway, after a young violinist is shot to death.

10PM | BRAVO
Real Housewives of New York City – Ramona throws a wine party … hmmm, wonder what kind she’ll serve?

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– The Scareousel is back on Wipeout (8PM, ABC);
– On Bones (9PM, Fox), Booth is determined to capture Jacob Broadsky when he shoots an innocent person while going after Booth;
– Owen conducts chief-resident interviews on Grey’s Anatomy (9PM, ABC);
– Back-to-back new episodes of Pawn Queens (10PM, TLC);
– Amelia’s drinking problem gets worse on Private Practice (10PM, ABC).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Maggie Q and Magic Johnson;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Kristen Wiig;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): John Bradshaw;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Jim Parsons;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Norm Macdonald;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Ralph Macchio and Def Leppard;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Kate Hudson;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Nick Offerman;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Mary Lynn Rajskub;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Rob Riggle.

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• Filed in American Idol, Late Night, Real Housewives, TV Picks
• Tags: American Idol, Big Bang Theory, Community, Community paintball, Community season 2 finale, CSI season 11 finale, Nikita, Parks and Recreation, Real Housewives of New York City, The Mentalist, The Office, Vampire Diaries season finale

(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM | NBC
The Office – Remember Threat Level Midnight, that script the gang found in Michael’s desk? Well, it turns out he actually produced the movie (with staffers current and former as the cast), and tonight he’s going to unspool his “Michael Scott Joint” for Holly and the gang. Their reviews? Well, he might have a tough time finding even two thumbs up.

8PM | FOX
American Idol – Hollywood rounds, third episode. Don’t worry, we’re almost there. Next week: the top 20 is revealed.

8PM | CBS
The Big Bang Theory – Leonard starts dating Raj’s sister again.

8PM | NBC
Community – Pierce pretends to be dead and leaves the study group with final gifts, but the dead dude’s gifts turn out to be even more troubling than Pierce’s usual shenanigans.

8PM | THE CW
The Vampire Diaries – Stefan ‘fesses up to Elena that he used to be a vicious murderer who killed members of her family. Ladies … dealbreaker?

9PM | CBS
CSI – Justin Bieber returns as troubled teen Jason McCann, who warns Nick about a dangerous situation.

9PM | DISCOVERY – 6TH SEASON PREMIERE
Man vs. Wild – Bear sees it all in Arizona, from scorching deserts to bone-chillingly cold mountains.

9:30PM | NBC
Parks and Recreation – While Andy tries to woo April back, Ben is haunted by his past as a famous teen mayor.

10PM | NBC
30 Rock – This sounds like a triple winner: Jenna tries to help Liz rebound from her breakup with Carol, Jack loses his business mojo when the baby keeps him from sleeping and Frank and Pete form a rock band (so getting visions of Jeffster! here).

10PM | FX
Archer – While Archer and Lana are off in New Orleans on a case (well, and to get a vacay in the Big Easy, as far as Archer’s concerned), Mallory orders the office to go green … yep, she wants the “freebie socialist tax credits.”

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– The Yule Log Jam and, of course, the Big Balls are among the obstacles on Winter Wipeout (8PM, ABC);
– Infamous Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Camille Grammer guest stars in the first season finale of $#*! My Dad Says (8:30PM, CBS);
– Harsh: a wedding planner is found dead, in a tanning bed, on Valentine’s Day on Bones (9PM, Fox);
– On Grey’s Anatomy (9PM, ABC), Bailey and Eli, um, connect;
– When Alex is double crossed by a friend, guess who has to rescue her? Yep, Michael and Nikita (9PM, The CW);
– Colleen participates in a major prostitution sting on Police Women of Cincinnati (9PM, TLC);
– Hank thinks there’s a medical reason a woman can’t relax in the Hamptons on Royal Pains (9PM, USA);
– Country crooner Clay Walker is shocked by the prices when he looks for a Big Apple home on Selling New York (9PM, HGTV);
– Ronnie bums about Sammi‘s departure and Deena gets so sloppy drunk that Situation anoints her the “sloppopotamus” on The Jersey Shore (10PM, MTV);
– Hightower goes into the field with Jane when Lisbon is injured on The Mentalist (10PM, CBS);
– Addison returns home, with her friends in tow, on Private Practice (10PM, ABC);
– Chris Elliott stars in a new Eagleheart on Adult Swim (11:59PM, Cartoon Network).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Martin Short and Chris Bosh;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Ed Gillespie;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): TBA;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Nathan Fillion, Paris Hilton and the Scissor Sisters;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Jenna Fischer and Abigail Breslin;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): J-WOWW, Far East Movement and Hayden Panettiere;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Jason Sudekis and Keri Hilson;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Michael Showalter and William H. Macy;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Sarah Chalke and Louie Anderson;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Director David O. Russell.

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• Filed in 30 Rock, American Idol, Late Night, The Office, TV Picks
• Tags: $#*! My Dad Says season finale, 30 Rock, American Idol, Archer, Community, CSI, Justin Bieber CSI, Man vs. Wild, Parks and Recreation, The Big Bang Theory, The Office, The Vampire Diaries

(ALL TIMES ET)

9:30PM | NBC
Parks and Recreation – Remember what happened the last time Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) and his ex-wife Tammy (guest star Megan Mullally, Offerman’s real-life wife) got together? Insanity ensued, which is why Tammy’s return in tonight’s episode is must-see TV. Especially since her return is brought about by Tom (Aziz Ansari), who begins dating Tammy to get back at Ron, who’s dating Tom’s ex-wife Wendy (Jama Williamson). Also, a jail cell is involved, so, again, must-see TV.

8PM | FOX
American Idol – After weeks of those drawn out city auditions, the action moves to Hollywood, where we’ll finally see which wannabes have the chops to make it into the finalist pool.

8PM | CBS
The Big Bang Theory – Leonard, a gigolo … Sheldon, his pimp??! If a wealthy widow (guest star Jessica Walter) who wants to donate big bucks to the university – provided she gets some one-on-one time with Leonard – has anything to say about it.

8PM | NBC
Community – The last time I saw Andy Dick‘s name in the news, he was getting thrown out of an awards show for porn. Tonight, he’s guesting on Community. A step up, to say the least.

8PM | ABC
Wipeout – The Hockey Hottie, Mr. Grinch and Holiday Hams … you guess which ones are contestants and which ones are Wipeout obstacles.

9PM | ABC
Grey’s Anatomy – Papa Grey returns with a stomachache that means he’s rejecting the liver Meredith so thoughtfully gave him. He’s also bringing a young, tattooed girlfriend with him, which means Mer’s gonna have a stomachache, too.

9PM | NBC
The Office – Michael and Holly spend Valentine’s Day together, which gives me more hope that the writers will send Mr. Scott off with the happy ending he deserves. Well, the happy ending for him that the audience deserves, anyway.

10PM | NBC
30 Rock – It’s Valentine’s Day and Carol (guest star Matt Damon) is back, which, in Liz Lemon Land, probably means romantic trauma ahead.

10PM | FX
Archer – Archer may be someone’s babydaddy. His favorite hooker’s babydaddy, actually.

10PM | MTV
Jersey Shore – Ronnie, Sammi fight. Ronnie mad. Ronnie smash!

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Stefan and Elena try to get romantic on a trip to the lake on The Vampire Diaries (8PM, The CW);
– Booth and Sweets have commitment on their minds on Bones (9PM, Fox);
– On Nikita (9PM, The CW), Michael meddles in Alex’s life with Nathan;
– Colleen helps protect U.S. marshals on Police Women of Cincinnati (9PM, TLC);
– Ace and the gang make a Back to the Future cake for Michael J. Fox (!) on Ace of Cakes (10PM, Food Network);
– And rebellious teens visit San Quentin on Beyond Scared Straight (10PM, A&E).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Seth MacFarlane and Brooklyn Decker;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Former RNC chairman Michael Steele (REPEAT);
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Author Michael Lewis (REPEAT);
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Snooki (yes, that one);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Rob Lowe, Amber Riley and Nicki Minaj;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Brad Womack and Taylor Momsen;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Jimmy and Justin Bieber perform their Twitter song;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Jennifer Aniston and Piers Morgan;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Jennifer Beals;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Diplo and Alberta Cross.

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• Filed in 30 Rock, American Idol, The Office, TV Picks
• Tags: 30 Rock, American Idol, Archer, Community, Grey's Anatomy, Jersey Shore, Parks and Recreation, The Big Bang Theory, The Office, Wipeout