All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– The best new TV drama since Sons of Anarchy premieres tonight: Justified, starring Deadwood‘s Timothy Olyphant as a Kentucky marshal. Check out my mini-review here, or better yet. just check out the show (10PM ET, FX).

– Mac and Sweet Dee are having a baby! Actually, it’s It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia stars – and real-life marrieds – Rob McElhenney and Kaitlin Olson, who are expecting their first child in August.

– What will the American Idol contestants sing for tonight’s Rolling Stones-themed performances? Here are my suggestions.

– Most TV types have been assuming that ex-American Idol judge Paula Abdul will reunite with Simon Cowell at the judge’s table of his upcoming U.S. version of The X Factor, but rumors leaked earlier this week that she was being wooed by ABC to host yet another revamp of Star Search. Now, The Daily Beast reports that loopy Paula actually passed on gobs of cash from ABC and may be holding out to work with Simon again after all.

– Seems like every day brings a new Betty White story, and there’s nothing wrong with that! Today, we learn that the Golden Girls alum will not only star in the pilot episode of TV Land’s summer sitcom Hot in Cleveland, but that she’s now been made a regular cast member.

– Happy Victor Garber Day! Why? Why not?

– Chuck fans, you might want to prepare for more trips to Subway: Monday night’s episode was the show’s lowest-rated. Ever. Sigh.

– It’s looking good for an eighth season of Curb Your Enthusiasm, says Larry David.

– Check out a first look at Al Pacino as Dr. Jack Kevorkian in HBO’s “Dr. Death” movie You Don’t Know Jack. The made-for-TV flick, directed by Barry Levinson, premieres on HBO in April.

– I know lots of TV fans hate the big-screen makeovers of boob tube classics, but the premiere of the upcoming MacGruber movie was met with a very positive response from fans at the SXSW festival.

– 24 moving from Fox to NBC? Eh, I guess there have been worse ideas. I guess.

– This is certainly a contender for the weirdest show ever: Mike Tyson – yes, that Mike Tyson – is going to star in an Animal Planet reality series called Taking on Tyson, which will find the former boxing champ raising and racing pigeons. Wow.

– And wanna co-star with As the World Turns diva Eileen Fulton before the soap sadly bites the dust next fall? Here’s your chance.

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• Filed in American Idol, Boob Tube to Big Screen, Chuck, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Justified, TV News
• Tags: 24 NBC, American Idol Rolling Stones, Betty White Hot in Cleveland, Curb Your Enthusiasm season 8, Justified, Paula Abdul Star Search, Paula Abdul X Factor, Timothy Olyphant

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Freshman hits Glee and Modern Family have not only gotten second season renewals this week, but were also just nominated for GLAAD Media Awards. Also getting season two renewals at ABC: Cougar Town and The Middle.

– CBS must be laughing at NBC and the Conan/Leno brouhaha, because both David Letterman and Craig Ferguson (the most underrated host in late night, IMHO) are both reportedly close to extending their current contracts.

– Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul, together again? That’s been the rumor, and TMZ.com reports that talks are underway for Abdul to join her former American Idol cohort on The X Factor.

– This is quite a lineup of TV talent: Betty White, Valerie Bertinelli, Jane Leeves and Wendie Malick will star in TV Land’s pilot for Hot in Cleveland, a sitcom about three fortysomething BFFs (Bertinelli, Leeves and Malick) who get stuck in Cleveland and decide to move there permanently because the locals think they’re glamorous. Betty White will play a crabby lady who lives in a cottage near the house where the pals live in Cleveland.

– Big Love season four premiere? Big ratings, up 49 percent vs. last season’s premiere.

– Mad Men star Jon Hamm is coming back to 30 Rock, right around Valentine’s Day. Is this good news, at last, for Liz Lemon’s love life?

– A musical 24? That really doesn’t seem like something Jack Bauer would, or should, do, does it?

– Are Lisa Rinna and hubby Harry Hamlin the new Lucy and Ricky? TV Land hopes so, as the celebs will star in a new comedy reality series that focuses on their marriage, children and careers.

– This isn’t coming a moment too soon for troubled soapland: Victor Newman, a.k.a. The Young and the Restless star Eric Braeden, returns to Genoa City in Friday’s episode.

– There’s another Law & Order spin-off coming, and this time it’s being set outside NYC: It’ll be in Los Angeles. Why? NBC’s programming chief says it’s because there’s a lack of cop shows set in L.A. Was she not aware Southland was set in La La Land before her network canceled it?

– Rita Rocks, Lifetime’s Nicole Sullivan sitcom? It’s dunzo.

– The Bachelor still hasn’t resulted in a marriage, but it will get a spin-off. A sort of all-star (and I use that term very loosely) collection of former contestants from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette will live together in a manse, with the purpose of … that remains to be seen, though they will compete to not get evicted, reportedly. The show will be called, of course, Bachelor Pad.

– Congratulate Howie Mandel on being named David Hasselhoff‘s replacement on America’s Got Talent. Just don’t touch him when you do it.

– And tonight in primetime: Another round of American Idol auditions on Fox (8PM ET); The Sopranos Michael “Christufuh” Imperioli guests on Mercy (8PM, NBC); Brick runs for “school historian (whut?) on The Middle (8:30PM, ABC); Gloria and Jay argue about a piece of decor on Modern Family (9PM, ABC); Lost‘s Naveen Andrews guest stars on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (9PM, NBC); Scott Foley continues his guest gig on Cougar Town (9:30PM, ABC); It’s the third season premiere of High School Reunion on TV Land (10PM); Leverage returns with new eps on TNT (10PM); Christian lets his junk food freak flag fly on tonight’s Nip/Tuck (10PM, FX), but he won’t feel so free when he finds out what (rather, who) is wife is up to; Must-hear-TV: Ray LaMontagne chats with and performs on Spectacle: Elvis Costello With … (10PM, Sundance); New Ugly Betty at 10PM on ABC; The designers have to work with denim on Launch My Line (10PM, Brav0); and Ty and Callie butt heads on a new Real World on MTV (10PM).

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• Tags: Eric Braeden Young and the Restless return, Glee season 2, Howie Mandel America's Got Talent, Jon Hamm 30 Rock, Law & Order: Los Angeles, Lisa Rinna Harry Hamlin TV Land, Modern Family season 2, Paula Abdul X Factor