(ALL TIMES ET)

8:30PM | NBC – 4TH SEASON PREMIERE
Parks and Recreation – So harsh: Leslie (Amy Poehler) has to choose between Ben (Adam Scott) and her dream of running for political office. Meanwhile, one Tammy ex-wife isn’t enough for Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman): his first Tammy ex is headed back into his life, and she looks a lot like big-screen star Patricia Clarkson. Because she is.

8PM | CBS – 5TH SEASON PREMIERE
Big Bang Theory – Penny’s so upset about sleeping with Raj that she considers leaving town, while Sheldon becomes a paintball cap’n on the one-hour season opener.

8PM | ABC – SERIES PREMIERE
Charlie’s Angels – Minka Kelly‘s cool, and that’s the best thing you can say about this lackluster remake of the ’70s “jigglefest” series. So why’s it on my Picks list? Because you might want to see for yourself how badly it fails to live up to original series …

8PM | NBC – 3RD SEASON PREMIERE
Community – The Wire‘s Michael K. Williams guest stars as Jeff’s new biology teacher (who kicks Mr. Winger out of class) and the great John Goodman plays the recurring role of Greendale Vice Dean Laybourne, the head of the Greendale Air Conditioning Repair Annex, and the new thorn in the side of beleaguered Dean Pelton.

8PM | FOX
The X Factor – The early auditions continue. What did you think of the new show and the return of Simon Cowell?

9PM | ABC – 8TH SEASON PREMIERE
Grey’s Anatomy – Meredith is bounced after messing with McDreamy’s clinical trial.

9PM | NBC – 8TH SEASON PREMIERE
The Office – New Sabre CEO Robert California (James Spader) starts his job, but we still don’t know who the new Scranton boss will be ….

9PM | CBS – SERIES PREMIERE
Person of Interest – Love the cast – Jim Caviezel and Lost‘s Michael Emerson – but the pilot of this drama, about a CIA agent who’s presumed dead (Caviezel) and the super wealthy software developer (Emerson) he teams with to try to prevent crimes before they happen, didn’t really grab me. But again, with that cast, and a good general premise (not to mention J.J. Abrams as producer), it’s worth checking out for a few episodes.

9PM | LIFETIME
Project Runway – The designers have to whip up rockin’ threads for the rock band the Sheepdogs, while American Idol alum Adam Lambert is the guest judge.

9:30PM | NBC – SERIES PREMIERE
Whitney – NBC’s Thursday-night comedy line-up has 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation, Community, The Office … and now Whitney. Which one of these things is not like the others? It’s the unfunny one, by which I mean Whitney. But if that promo in which Whitney’s (titular comedienne star Whitney Cummings) busted for eating a cupcake at a wedding entices you to watch anyway, come back and share your feelings with the group, by which I mean the comments, afterwards.

10PM | FX
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia – Dennis and Sweet Dee take the gang to the Jersey Shore, where they spent several happy summers. Now … not so happy for them.

10PM | CBS – 4TH SEASON PREMIERE
The Mentalist – Jane is in prison and has to prove the man he killed was Red John.

10PM | NBC – SERIES PREMIERE
Prime Suspect – My biggest issue with this remake of the British female homicide detective drama that originally starred Helen Mirren (and stars Mario Bello in this American remake) is that, after a night of comedy on NBC, do you really want to slide into murder at 10PM?

10:30PM | FX
Archer – The ISIS gang keeps trying to rescue Archer, who doesn’t want to be found, because he’s happily ensconced as the new pirate king on the island.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Tyler and his mama have an emotional meltdown on Vampire Diaries (8PM, The CW);
– After her trip to the police station after her accident, Snooki gets a visit from her boyfriend and ends up making a jackass of herself, a-gain, on Jersey Shore (10PM, MTV);
– The new documentary series Prison Diaries (10PM, TLC) revolves around female inmates who reflect on the crimes they committed and their lives in jail afterwards;
– It’s the series premiere of Sweet Genius (10PM, Food Network), a new dessert competition series in which pastry chefs compete to win $10,000 for their confections.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Jonah Hill;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Jennifer Granholm;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Tavis Smiley;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Chris Cornell and Sofia Vergara;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Jamie Foxx;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Daryl Hall;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Julianna Margulies and Wyatt Cenac;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Chris Hardwick;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Doug Elin.

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• Filed in Documentary, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Late Night, Music on TV, Project Runway, The Office, TV Picks
• Tags: Archer, Big Bang Theory season 5, Charlie's Angels premiere, Community season 3, Grey's Anatomy season premiere, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Parks and Recreation season 4, Person of Interest premiere, Prime Suspect premiere, Project Runway, The Mentalist season 4, The Office season 8, The X Factor, Whitney Cummings, Whitney premiere