(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | FX
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia – In “Frank Reynolds’ Little Beauties,” the gang takes on toddlers and tiaras when Frank produces his own kiddie beauty pageant, then worries people will think he’s a perv. Which, of course, he is, but not in this instance.

8PM | CBS
The Big Bang Theory – Leonard and Amy get to know each other when he accompanies her to a wedding. Meanwhile, Bernadette and Howard spend the weekend with Mrs. Wolowitz.

8PM | NBC
Community – Freaks and Geeks star Martin Starr plays the gang’s professor, and advisor for a Model United Nations project, while Chang takes to his new campus security guard a little too enthusiastically.

8:30PM | CBS – SERIES PREMIERE
How to Be a Gentleman – It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia co-star and producer David Hornsby (he plays Rickety Cricket) stars in this new sitcom about a magazine etiquette columnist who’s told by his boss to modernize his column. His solution: hire his former high school bully nemesis (Entourage star Kevin Dillon) to be his life coach. Should you watch? Eh. Kevin Dillon is essentially playing Johnny Drama (which I don’t mean as a compliment), and everything else about the show feels very been there, done that.

8:30PM | NBC
Parks and Recreation – The former Mrs. Ron Swanson, Tammy One (guest star Patricia Clarkson), returns to wreak even more havoc on Ron’s (Nick Offerman) life, while Ben tries to help Tom get his new company’s finances on track.

9PM | ABC
Grey’s Anatomy – The chief makes a major career decision, while the fifth-year residents get their first chance to perform solo surgeries.

9PM | NBC
The Office – Robert (James Spader) motivates the sales staff with a rousing speech … and a major prize for the top dog.

9PM | LIFETIME
Project Runway – The designers have to whip up ’70s-inspired frocks.

10PM | CBS
The Mentalist – Jane gets his job back, but when he’s assigned to a new team, he plots to get Lisbon and the crew back.

10:30PM | FX – 3RD SEASON FINALE
Archer – In the conclusion of the “Heart of Archness” saga, Archer and company escape from the pirate island.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Old Spice Guy Isaiah Mustafa guests on Charlie’s Angels (8PM, ABC);
– Stefan is reunited with an old love on The Vampire Diaries (8PM, The CW);
– Auditions continue on The X Factor (8PM, Fox);
– Finch talks about his machine’s origins on Person of Interest (9PM, CBS);
– On Jersey Shore (10PM, MTV), Deena has a pregnancy scare, which should really scare all of us, as a people, that she might unleash a mini-Deena on the world;
– Duffy doesn’t welcome Jane’s help on his murder/kidnapping case on Prime Suspect (10PM, NBC);
– On the fifth season premiere of Private Practice (10PM, ABC), Pete has a heart attack and Addison plots having a baby with Jake (Benjamin Bratt).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Patton Oswalt;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Tony Bennett;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Mark Cuban;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Death Cab for Cutie and Kaley Cuoco;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Chaz Bono and Albert Brooks;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Matt Stone and Trey Parker;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Melissa McCarthy;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Carson Kressley;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Sons of Anarchy creator Kurt Sutter.

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• Filed in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Late Night, Project Runway, TV Picks
• Tags: Archer season finale, Community, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Parks and Recreation, Project Runway, Ron Swanson, The Mentalist, The Office James Spader

(ALL TIMES ET)

8:30PM | NBC – 4TH SEASON PREMIERE
Parks and Recreation – So harsh: Leslie (Amy Poehler) has to choose between Ben (Adam Scott) and her dream of running for political office. Meanwhile, one Tammy ex-wife isn’t enough for Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman): his first Tammy ex is headed back into his life, and she looks a lot like big-screen star Patricia Clarkson. Because she is.

8PM | CBS – 5TH SEASON PREMIERE
Big Bang Theory – Penny’s so upset about sleeping with Raj that she considers leaving town, while Sheldon becomes a paintball cap’n on the one-hour season opener.

8PM | ABC – SERIES PREMIERE
Charlie’s Angels – Minka Kelly‘s cool, and that’s the best thing you can say about this lackluster remake of the ’70s “jigglefest” series. So why’s it on my Picks list? Because you might want to see for yourself how badly it fails to live up to original series …

8PM | NBC – 3RD SEASON PREMIERE
Community – The Wire‘s Michael K. Williams guest stars as Jeff’s new biology teacher (who kicks Mr. Winger out of class) and the great John Goodman plays the recurring role of Greendale Vice Dean Laybourne, the head of the Greendale Air Conditioning Repair Annex, and the new thorn in the side of beleaguered Dean Pelton.

8PM | FOX
The X Factor – The early auditions continue. What did you think of the new show and the return of Simon Cowell?

9PM | ABC – 8TH SEASON PREMIERE
Grey’s Anatomy – Meredith is bounced after messing with McDreamy’s clinical trial.

9PM | NBC – 8TH SEASON PREMIERE
The Office – New Sabre CEO Robert California (James Spader) starts his job, but we still don’t know who the new Scranton boss will be ….

9PM | CBS – SERIES PREMIERE
Person of Interest – Love the cast – Jim Caviezel and Lost‘s Michael Emerson – but the pilot of this drama, about a CIA agent who’s presumed dead (Caviezel) and the super wealthy software developer (Emerson) he teams with to try to prevent crimes before they happen, didn’t really grab me. But again, with that cast, and a good general premise (not to mention J.J. Abrams as producer), it’s worth checking out for a few episodes.

9PM | LIFETIME
Project Runway – The designers have to whip up rockin’ threads for the rock band the Sheepdogs, while American Idol alum Adam Lambert is the guest judge.

9:30PM | NBC – SERIES PREMIERE
Whitney – NBC’s Thursday-night comedy line-up has 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation, Community, The Office … and now Whitney. Which one of these things is not like the others? It’s the unfunny one, by which I mean Whitney. But if that promo in which Whitney’s (titular comedienne star Whitney Cummings) busted for eating a cupcake at a wedding entices you to watch anyway, come back and share your feelings with the group, by which I mean the comments, afterwards.

10PM | FX
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia – Dennis and Sweet Dee take the gang to the Jersey Shore, where they spent several happy summers. Now … not so happy for them.

10PM | CBS – 4TH SEASON PREMIERE
The Mentalist – Jane is in prison and has to prove the man he killed was Red John.

10PM | NBC – SERIES PREMIERE
Prime Suspect – My biggest issue with this remake of the British female homicide detective drama that originally starred Helen Mirren (and stars Mario Bello in this American remake) is that, after a night of comedy on NBC, do you really want to slide into murder at 10PM?

10:30PM | FX
Archer – The ISIS gang keeps trying to rescue Archer, who doesn’t want to be found, because he’s happily ensconced as the new pirate king on the island.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Tyler and his mama have an emotional meltdown on Vampire Diaries (8PM, The CW);
– After her trip to the police station after her accident, Snooki gets a visit from her boyfriend and ends up making a jackass of herself, a-gain, on Jersey Shore (10PM, MTV);
– The new documentary series Prison Diaries (10PM, TLC) revolves around female inmates who reflect on the crimes they committed and their lives in jail afterwards;
– It’s the series premiere of Sweet Genius (10PM, Food Network), a new dessert competition series in which pastry chefs compete to win $10,000 for their confections.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Jonah Hill;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Jennifer Granholm;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Tavis Smiley;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Chris Cornell and Sofia Vergara;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Jamie Foxx;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Daryl Hall;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Julianna Margulies and Wyatt Cenac;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Chris Hardwick;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Doug Elin.

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• Filed in Documentary, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Late Night, Music on TV, Project Runway, The Office, TV Picks
• Tags: Archer, Big Bang Theory season 5, Charlie's Angels premiere, Community season 3, Grey's Anatomy season premiere, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Parks and Recreation season 4, Person of Interest premiere, Prime Suspect premiere, Project Runway, The Mentalist season 4, The Office season 8, The X Factor, Whitney Cummings, Whitney premiere

(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | FX
Wilfred – Only one more Wilfred before next week’s season finale. Sad. But tonight’s installment is a good one: An attractive woman is interested in Ryan, but he’s preoccupied with doing for others, including Kristen, Jenna and, of course, Wilfie.

8-11PM | DISCOVERY
Rising: Rebuilding Ground Zero – The miniseries concludes with episodes featuring 9/11 survivors who hung around to help rebuild their communities and a memorial for 9/11 victims.

9PM | USA
Burn Notice – Sam and Jesse try to trap Max’s killer while Michael and Fiona pretend to be a wealthy couple at a swanky South American resort to rescue a bioweapons expert.

9PM | TEENNICK – SUMMER FINALE
Degrassi – It’s prom night, and on Degrassi, that means someone’s probably gonna get shot.

9PM | LIFETIME
Project Runway – Kenneth Cole is the guest judge as the contestants have to create garments inspired by student art projects.

10PM | COMEDY CENTRAL
Futurama – When Bender gets a boost in his processing power, he’s suddenly able to see the future. A prescient Bender … all kinds of potential there.

10PM | USA
Suits – Harvey’s mentor shows up and asks for Harvey’s help when the mentor’s office comes under investigation. The best part: said mentor is played by guest star Gary Cole, who always elevates whatever project he’s in.

11:59PM | ADULT SWIM – 3RD SEASON FINALE
Childrens Hospital – In “Newsreaders,” we get updates on the Childrens Hospital (remember, no apostrophe!) cast. The crazy, crazy cast.

12:15AM FRIDAY | ADULT SWIM
NTSF: SD: SUV – Trent (Paul Scheer) plans a cruise for the NTSF crew, but he has an ulterior motive: to catch a terrorist who’s allegedly hiding on the ship.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– It’s eviction night on Big Brother (8PM, CBS);
– In case you missed it on Sunday, the conclusion of last week’s Jersey Shore (10PM, MTV) finds Situation  leaving the house on a stretcher after he and Ronnie duke it out;
– On Louie (10:30PM, FX), Louie’s sister wigs out and takes her daughter to Grand Central Station … and leaves her there.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Zach Galifianakis (REPEAT);
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Mark Adams (REPEAT);
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): The space shuttle astronauts (REPEAT);
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Julianna Margulies and Lady Antebellum;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Kevin Smith and Heidi Klum;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Jamie Foxx (REPEAT);
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Lenny Kravitz;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Kathy Griffin;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Sarah Vowell (REPEAT).

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• Filed in Burn Notice, Late Night, Project Runway, TV Picks, Wilfred
• Tags: Burn Notice, Childrens Hospital, Futurama, NTSF: SD: SUV, Project Runway, Rising: Rebuilding Ground Zero, Suits, Wilfred

(ALL TIMES ET)

8-11PM | DISCOVERY – SERIES PREMIERE
Rising: Rebuilding Ground Zero – Ground Zero will ultimately be a 16-acre complex that includes four skyscrapers, a transportation hub, a museum and a 9/11 memorial with the largest man-made waterfall in history. This miniseries, produced by Steven Spielberg, documents the construction, including the remembrances of those who were in lower Manhattan on Sept. 11, 2011 and those who are involved now in this massive, emotional rebuilding effort.

9PM | USA
Burn Notice – Michael worms his way inside a group of hijackers as a way to help Jesse with a security job, but he’s caught by surprise when the hijackers take hostages at an airport. And the person trying to help the hostages escape? Maddie, of course.

9PM | LIFETIME
Project Runway – Survivor meets PR? The designers not only have to conceive a new frock based on sneakers and sportswear, but they actually have to participate in a running event.

10PM | MTV
Jersey Shore – They’ve been teasing it for months, and tonight we finally see the big throwdown between Ronnie and The Situation. Oh, I feel just a little bit more ridiculous every time I type that name.

10PM | FX
Wilfred – Dwight Yoakam guest stars as a guy who may confirm Ryan’s suspicions that his friendship with Wilfred may not be totally healthy.

11:59PM | ADULT SWIM
Childrens Hospital – Glenn (Ken Marino), finally, gets a bar mitzvah.

12:15AM FRIDAY | ADULT SWIM
NTSF: SD: SUV – Gabrielle Union guest stars in “Tijuana, We’ve Got a Problem,” as plans for the space shuttle are stolen and sold to Mexico, and Trent (Paul Scheer) and the gang must retrieve them.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– It’s family team night on Wipeout (8PM, ABC);
– It’s eviction night on Big Brother (8PM, CBS);
– Katie and Marisol continue to trash their friendship for a dude on Degrassi (9PM, TeenNick);
– Fry sneezes and reintroduces the common cold into the future on Futurama (10PM, Comedy Central);
– Mike questions why Harvey fired a certain executive on Suits (10PM, USA);
– On Louie (10:30PM, FX), Louie … Afghanistan … comedy ensues.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Jim Parsons (REPEAT);
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Michael Wallis (REPEAT);
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Robert Wittman (REPEAT);
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Paul Rudd;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Dolly Parton and Ben Bailey (REPEAT);
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Howie Mandel (REPEAT);
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Ryan Reynolds and Fountains of Wayne (REPEAT);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Kal Penn;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Adam Pally (REPEAT).

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• Filed in Burn Notice, Documentary, Late Night, Project Runway, TV Picks, Wilfred
• Tags: Burn Notice, Childrens Hospital, Jersey Shore, NTSF: SD: SUV, Project Runway, Rising: Rebuilding Ground Zero, Wilfred

(ALL TIMES ET)

10 and 10:30PM | FX
Wilfred – Back-to-back new episodes of Wilfred kick off with Ryan’s mom (guest star Mary Steenburgen) checking out of the “wellness center” where she’s lived for 20 years and moving in with her son. Ryan already has a contentious relationship with his wacky mama, and the fact that Wilfred bonds with her just gives him another reason to resent her. And in the second ep, Wilfred picks on Ryan and tells him that people are starting to call him weird because he spends so much time alone, but Wilfie’s motives, of course, are not all about what’s best for Ryan.

9PM | USA
Burn Notice – While Fiona and Jesse do some sleuthing on behalf of a drug company mogul (who’s hiding secrets from them), Sam helps Michael track down a bomb maker who has some scoop related to Max’s murder.

9PM | VH1
Do Something Awards – Jane Lynch hosts (few TV promos have been as entertaining as the ones she’s done leading up to the Do Something show) and Foster the People and OneRepublic perform in this nod to social do-gooding. Among the presenters doling out awards: Adam Lambert, Nick Cannon and Kristen Bell.

9PM | LIFETIME
Project Runway – I think Michael Kors himself would be at least a little nervous about working with the client the contestants have to design for tonight: Judge Nina Garcia.

10PM | A&E – 2ND SEASON PREMIERE
Beyond Scared Straight – It’s tough to tell sometimes how effective the show’s prisoners are in persuading teens that crime doesn’t pay, but I find their schtick so scary as to make me reconsider taking a cent from the Take a Penny dish at the local bodega.

10PM | MTV
Jersey Shore – It hits the fan when Mike tells the whole house he and Snooki hooked up, and Deena proves that, yes, she can get even sloppier when she hooks up with twins Vinny and Mike had their eyes on.

11:59PM | ADULT SWIM
Childrens Hospital – In “The Chet Episode,” we experience a day in the life of the creepy paramedic.

12:15AM FRIDAY | ADULT SWIM
NTSF: SD: SUV – Trent’s (Paul Scheer) on the trail of a serial killer (a dolphin serial killer), and looks to a another murderer, who’s locked up, for help. Tonight’s guest star: Tony “Buster Bluth” Hale.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Contestants drop like flies when they’re swatted like flies on Wipeout (8PM, ABC);
– It’s eviction night on Big Brother (9PM, CBS);
– This won’t end well: on Degrassi (9PM, TeenNick), Eli won’t give up on Clare, and Imogen won’t give up on Eli;
– The crew discovers one of Dr. Zoidberg’s lost adventures on Futurama (10PM, Comedy Central);
– On Suits (10PM, USA), it’s Harvey vs. an undefeated Boston attorney in a class-action lawsuit;
– Louie (11PM, FX) takes the girls trickor-treating and finds himself having to explain Lilly’s costume.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Louis C.K.;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Anne Hathaway;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Kevin Mitnick;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Ryan Gosling (and his cool dog) (REPEAT);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb (REPEAT);
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Anton Yelchin and Zoe Saldana;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Brian Williams (REPEAT);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Dick Van Dyke (REPEAT);
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Neil Strauss (REPEAT).

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• Filed in Award shows, Burn Notice, Late Night, TV Picks, Wilfred
• Tags: Beyond Scared Straight, Burn Notice, Childrens Hospital, Do Something Awards, Jersey Shore, NTSF: SD: SUV, Project Runway, Wilfred