(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | SHOWTIME – 7TH SEASON FINALE
Weeds – The season lost a little steam towards the end, but here’s hoping for a last-minute rebound as Nancy deals with the fact that one son, Silas, is not on her side, while the other, Shane, is trying to protect her from Detective Ouellette. And then there’s Doug, who’s desperately trying to keep his hedge fund scam going.

CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR TIME AND CHANNEL | PBS – 42ND SEASON PREMIERE
Sesame Street – Science and technology are the themes for the new season, which will also include spoofs on Glee and The Deadliest Catch and guest stars like Robin Williams, Seth Rogen, Mila Kunis, John Krasinski, Joel McHale and Andy Samberg.

1PM | ABC – SERIES PREMIERE
The Chew – Mario Batali, Top Chef alum Carla Hall, What Not to Wear co-host Clinton Kelly and Food Network chef Michael Symon host this daily foodie show that replaces All My Children.

8PM | THE CW – 5TH SEASON PREMIERE
Gossip Girl – Serena makes a big boo-boo at her Hollywood job, and, while visiting her in Los Angeles, Nate meets an older woman (Elizabeth Hurley).

8PM | CBS
How I Met Your Mother – Ted tries to make nice with a girl he once cheated on, while Barney makes a bet with Marshall and Lily that may mean Marshall has to wear Barney’s ducky tie.

8PM | FOX – SERIES PREMIERE
Terra Nova – The sci-fi drama finds colonists (including Life on Mars star Jason O’Mara) travelling back to prehistoric times to create a new civilization because, well, their present one has become so miserable. Of course, they’re going to have to deal with dinosaurs that want to eat them, and a military-minded leader (Avatar‘s Stephen Lang) who wants them to fit neatly into his agenda. Yeah, I know, I can’t help but think Land of the Lost myself, but at least the special effects are less cheesy, as they should be considering Steven Spielberg is among the show’s producers. Bottom line: to watch or not to watch … yes, definitely worth checking out, but don’t set that season pass just yet.

9PM | THE CW – SERIES PREMIERE
Hart of Dixie – Rachel Bilson plays a heart surgeon who moves to a small town in Alabama to share a practice when she’s told she needs to work on her bedside manner. Lost you at “Rachel Bilson plays a heart surgeon,” didn’t I? The O.C. alum has her charms, but this show might not be the best use of them. Still, I’ll probably watch a couple more episodes, especially since equally charming Friday Night Lights alums Scott Porter and Cress Williams are in the cast.

9PM | BRAVO
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – It’s been all about Taylor so far this season, but the new chick enters the fray tonight when Kyle hosts a charity event and Brandi Glanville, the ex-Mrs. Eddie Cibrian, attends and immediately ruffles some feathers.

10PM | LOGO
The A-List: New York – Derek and the gang head to Atlantic City for Austin‘s bachelor party and Nyasha‘s concert.

10PM | ABC
Castle – Castle and Beckett are chasing a vigilante who may be responsible for murder and who also may be wearing a superhero costume while out doing his vigilante work.

10PM | CBS
Hawaii Five-O – So … that happened last week. Tonight, the action continues as McGarrett’s back in action, but the Governor assigns a new officer to keep an eye on McGarrett and the Five-0 team.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– The jive and the quickstep are on tap for the contestants on tonight’s Dancing With the Stars (8PM, ABC);
– Eight more groups perform in the second part of the season premiere of The Sing-Off (8PM, NBC);
– The Bling Ring (9PM, Lifetime) is the Lifetime flick, starring Jennifer Grey, based on the true story of the group of teens who burglarized celebs’ homes in Hollywood in 2008 and 2009;
– The weekly four-ep It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia marathon on Comedy Central (9PM) includes the gang’s Lethal Weapon 5 flick;
– Season two of Mike & Molly (9:30PM, CBS) opens with Molly (awesome first time Emmy winner Melissa McCarthy) starting to plan her wedding to Mike;
– On Alphas (10PM, Syfy), season one wraps with Red Flag stepping up its war on the Department of Defense;
– On Cake Boss (10PM, TLC), Buddy bakes an edible chandelier cake that has to hang upside down;
– A Civil War drum is among the goodies brought into the store on back-to-back Pawn Star$ (10PM, History);
– On the season two finale of The Big C (10:30PM, Showtime), Cathy decides to do something special to ring in the New Year after Lee’s death;
– John-John finds out that one of his relatives is a zombie on Death Valley (10:30PM, MTV).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Kevin Hart, Neal Brennan and Taylor Lautner;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Ron Paul;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Radiohead;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Seth Rogen;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Ryan Gosling;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Dana Delany;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Elmo and Andy Samberg;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Jonah Hill;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): The Decemberists and David Guetta.

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• Filed in Daytime TV, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Late Night, Movies, Real Housewives, TV Marathon, TV Picks, Weeds
• Tags: Castle, Gossip Girl season 5, Hart of Dixie, Hawaii Five-0, How I Met Your Mother, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Sesame Street season 42, Terra Nova premiere, The A-List: New York, The Chew ABC, Weeds season finale

(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM, SUN | AMC
Breaking Bad – Damn, this show just gets better every week. In “Hermanos,” Walt realizes something shocking about Jesse, Hank asks for Walt’s help and, in one of the show’s all-time best sequences (which is saying a lot, obviously), we get some major insight into Gus (Giancarlo Esposito).

10PM, FRI | STARZ
Torchwood: Miracle Day – “The world is plunged into a recession” is today’s headline, er, the official description of tonight’s episode.

6PM, SUN | CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS
MDA Labor Day Telethon – That the MDA has ousted Jerry Lewis in what he had said would be his final hosting gig for the telethon? Shameful. But a lack of respect for all that Lewis has done to help the organization’s efforts – which includes helping to raise more than $2 billion in the last 50 years – doesn’t mean would-be donors shouldn’t continue to respect all the MDA has done for its beneficiaries.

9PM, SUN | DISCOVERY – SERIES PREMIERE
Dinosaur Revolution – The four-part series examines the evolution of dinosaurs, including the ones who made it the furthest through the evolutionary chain and, in a second episode on Sunday (10PM), how the dinos socialized.

9:30PM, SUN | CBS
The Good Wife: A New Beginning – To whet your appetite for the third season, which premieres on Sept. 25, The Good Wife‘s cast and producers discuss the show’s first two seasons and where the storylines are headed.

10PM, SUN | HBO
Curb Your Enthusiasm – Here it is, the “Mister Softee” episode, which reveals an incident from Larry’s early years that really explains a lot about why Larry is so … Larry. Also, Bill Buckner guest stars and, yes, his own traumatic experience from the past factors into the episode.

9PM, MON | TNT
The Closer – Brenda’s investigating the disappearance of a stage father when she gets some hopeful news and her civil suit.

9PM, MON | BRAVO – 2ND SEASON PREMIERE
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – After Russell Armstrong‘s shocking suicide, oh yeah, the show is definitely going to be kinda creepy now. Creepy enough to make it unwatchable? That remains to be seen.

10PM, MON | A&E – 2ND SEASON FINALE
The Glades – Two ex-cons take the hospital hostage, and Jim and Callie work together to capture the dudes and make sure everyone remains safe.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
FRIDAY
– Three-hour marathon of Chappelle’s Show on Comedy Central (Fri., 8PM);

SATURDAY
– The Brad Pitt/Will Ferrell/Tina Fey ‘toon Megamind makes its HBO debut (Sat., 8PM);
– On Doctor Who (Sat., 9PM, BBCA), The Doctor visits a boy who’s afraid of the monsters living in his bedroom;

SUNDAY
– Eviction nominees are revealed on Big Brother (Sun., 8PM, CBS);
– On Food Network Challenge (Sun., 8PM, Food Network), four pirates create extreme pirate-themed cakes;
– One crazy bride accuses her pregnant sister of trying to upstage her on Bridezillas (Sun., 9PM, WE);
– On Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew (Sun., 9PM, VH1), a season five wrap-up includes updates on the patients, including Amy Fisher, as well as the woman she infamously shot, Mary Jo Buttafuoco;
– Parker represents his ex in a case against an insurance company on Drop Dead Diva (Sun., 9PM, Lifetime);
– On Great Food Truck Race (Sun., 9PM, Food Network), the trucks head to Kansas State University, where they have to create five-dollar dishes and sell them to KSU students;
– Lisa and Maya help a stranded driver on Ice Road Truckers (Sun., 9PM, History);
– Sam gets even with Marcus on True Blood (Sun., 9PM, HBO);
– Eric and Melinda crash Sloan’s date on Entourage (Sun., 10:30PM, HBO);

MONDAY
– On Bachelor Pad (Mon., 8PM, ABC), the remaining contestants have to pair up and compete as couples;
– Two surprise guests arrive for a graduation party on the 4th season summer finale of The Secret Life of the American Teenager (Mon., 8PM, ABC Family);
– The weekly four-ep marathon of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia includes the gem “The D.E.N.N.I.S. System” (Mon., 9PM, Comedy Central);
– The death of a female dockworker may include mob connections and Maura’s biological dad on Rizzoli & Isles (Mon., 10PM, TNT);
– A vamp hooker gets out of jail and teen vigilantes are on the hunt for zombies on Death Valley (Mon., 10:30PM, MTV).

And the late-night line-up for Friday and Monday:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Norm MacDonald (REPEAT) (Monday);
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Anne Hathaway (REPEAT) (Monday);
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Jeff Bridges (REPEAT) (Monday);
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): James Franco (Friday); Emma Stone (REPEAT) (Monday);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Andy Grammer and Dick Chaney (Friday); Jane Fonda (REPEAT) (Monday);
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Joel McHale (REPEAT) (Friday); Zoe Saldana and Anton Yelchin (REPEAT) (Monday);
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Jason Sudeikis (Friday); Steve Carell (REPEAT) (Monday);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Peter Krause (Friday); Annie Duke and Julie Chen (Monday);
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): David Sirota (REPEAT) (Friday); Dan Harmon (REPEAT) (Monday).

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• Filed in Breaking Bad, Curb Your Enthusiasm, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Late Night, Real Housewives, TV Marathon, TV Picks
• Tags: Breaking Bad, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Dinosaur Revolution, MDA Telethon, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, The Closer, The Glades, The Good Wife: A New Beginning, Torchwood: Miracle Day

(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | BRAVO
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Dinner Party From Hell: Producers’ Cut – It’s tough to imagine how this episode could be any crazier than it was, from Camille‘s passive-aggressive behavior to her wackadoo pal Allison-the Psychic-With-the Electronic Cigarette‘s aggressive-aggressive behavior, but Bravo’s promising to dish up a fresh helping of drama, so dig in.

7PM | DISCOVERY
Pitchmen – A stadium chair, an electric skateboard and an alternative to the chip clip are on tap for Sully.

8PM | FOX
Glee – He didn’t get the Best New Artist love at the Grammys (robbed), but two of Justin Bieber‘s tunes pop up in tonight’s Glee.

8PM | G4
Jump City: Seattle – Remember that killer parkour scene in Casino Royale? This new series follows the Pro Parkour League in Seattle.

8PM | CBS
NCIS – Gibbs investigates the death of a Marine who was killed in an assassination attempt on a politician he was guarding, while the team protects the politico’s daughter, a U.S. college student who’s also crushing on McGee.

9PM | FOX
Raising Hope – The Chances find some old home movies that lead to the surprising reason behind why they tend to be a healthy people.

10PM | CBS
The Good Wife – How very Zuckerbergian-ish: Will and Diane represent an Internet bazillionaire who’s ticked off at the way he was portrayed in a movie about his life.

10PM | NBC
Parenthood – The show that just keeps getting better brings in Lost star Michael Emerson as a man with Asperger’s who hosts a birthday party for Max.

10PM | TNT
Southland – Lydia (Emmy-worthy Regina King) gets suspended and spends her time bonding with an injured witness.

10PM | MTV
Teen Mom 2 – Surprise, not: Adam proves to be such a massive tool as a roommate that he offends Megan, who moves out. Good move inviting that back into your life, Chelsea.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– USA has closing night coverage of the 135th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show (8PM);
– The Cupcake Wars (9PM, Food Network) competitors fashion treats for a Cirque du Soleil party;
– The Hellcats (9PM, The CW) try to concoct a plan to save their funding;
– On Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best? (9PM, WE), Joan and Melissa meet with Perez Hilton;
– Sam and Cullen go undercover as California highway patrolmen (like Ponch and Jon!) to ferret out some corrupt cops on NCIS: Los Angeles (9PM, CBS);
– On V (9PM, ABC), Lisa meets her grandmother and Anna asks Ryan to help her eliminate the Fifth Column;
– On Detroit 1-8-7 (10PM, ABC), Fitch and Washington investigate an ex-con’s claim that he killed two people in self defense;
– On Hard Time (10PM, NGC), a female prison in Ohio includes an inmate who’s raising her baby inside the prison;
– Lights misses the fam when he moves into a hotel to train in private on Lights Out (10PM, FX);
– Love/Lust (10PM, Sundance) unfolds the history of the bikini;
– Tosh chats with The Big O on Tosh.0 (10PM, Comedy Central);
– New Onion SportsDome (10:30PM, Comedy Central);
– Bryson‘s in NYC, but the visit doesn’t go as well as he hoped it would on My Life as Liz (11PM, MTV);

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Dr. Phil, Jump City: Seattle and Ginnifer Goodwin;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): January Jones;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Christiane Amanpour and David Albright;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Josh Groban and a top 10 list with Joy Philbin;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Liam Neeson and Gretchen Wilson;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Justin Bieber, Far East Movement and Diane Kruger;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Eric Stonestreet and Jeremy Renner;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Jeff Probst, Victoria Beckham and Drive-By Truckers;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): William Shatner;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Kevin Smith.

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• Filed in Glee, Late Night, Real Housewives, Teen Mom, TV Picks
• Tags: Glee, Jump City: Seattle parkour, Justin Bieber Glee, NCIS, Parenthood, Pitchmen, Raising Hope, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Dinner Party From Hell, Southland, Teen Mom, The Good Wife

Who’s still reeling from that Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion (part one) on Monday? The Teresa blow-up topped her table-flipping tantrum from season one, but my favorite part was host Andy Cohen telling her how strong she was when she pushed him (!) into a chair. Teresa was laughing as he said it, but his light tone turned serious when he told her, “Don’t cross me.” Best quote of the night, followed by Caroline‘s comparison of Danielle‘s thuggy friend Danny to a Sweathog. Classic.

The first part of the reunion (part two airs on Sept. 6, 9PM ET) was the highest-rated episode in the Real Housewives franchise with 3.9 million viewers, and that’s not the only Housewives news the network has shared this week:

– Not surprisingly, The Real Housewives of NJ has been renewed for a third season.

– The Real Housewives of New York City is also returning – for a fourth season – but Bethenny Frankel, arguably the most popular cast member, will not be returning. She is expected to return for a second season of her spin-off series, Bethenny’s Getting Married?, though presumably with a name change, since she did get married.

– The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the sixth entry in the franchise, premieres on Oct. 14, and the cast includes sisters Kim and Kyle Richards, who are aunts to Paris Hilton. They’re both also former child stars, with Kim having starred in Escape From Witch Mountain, James at 15, Nanny and the Professor and Hello, Larry, and Kyle on Little House on the Prairie and ER. But the real reason a lot of viewers may tune in: The cast also includes Camille Grammer, a.k.a. the soon-to-be ex-wife of Kelsey Grammer, who’s already moved on to another woman (who is already reportedly pregnant with Grammer’s baby). That little scandal is sure to factor into the new show …

– The Real Housewives of Atlanta, season three, premieres on Oct. 4, and it promises to be that show’s most dramatic season yet, especially since scene stealer NeNe Leakes 1) has had so much work done that she almost looks like a different person, 2) she’ll be fighting with her one-time BFF Dwight and 3) she and husband Greg are on the outs.

– The Real Housewives of Orange County will also return for a sixth season (no premiere date yet), and Lynne Curtin will be replaced by newbie Peggy Tanous, a friend of last season’s newbie, Alexis Bellino.

– Bravo is rumored to have The Real Housewives of New Orleans in the works for next summer.

– And, even though it’s not a Bravo show, the series unofficially known as the gay version of Real Housewives of New York, The A-List: New York, premieres on Logo on Oct. 4. Among the so-called A-List is Reichen Lehmkuhl, famous for winning the fourth season of The Amazing Race and dating ‘N Syncer Lance Bass.

Which, if any, of the Real Housewives shows will you be/are you watching?

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• Tags: Bethenny Frankel, NeNe Leakes, Real Housewives, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Real Housewives of New Orleans, Real Housewives of New York City, The A-List: New York

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Drama series haven’t fared well for him, but maybe Christian Slater will have better luck with his big-screen-to-TV ambitions as the star of Fox’s untitled fall comedy pilot about a team of security-cracking twentysomethings.

– Fox invited Conan O’Brien to take part in the Idol Gives Back charity special that airs April 21 on Fox, but NBC refused to give O’Brien a pass to make the non-NBC appearance. Lame. Still, the invitation suggests Fox is trying to build a relationship with the star of its potential new late-night franchise.

– BTW, for a shot at winning tix to one of O’Brien’s sold out comedy tour shows, hit Twitter.

– Great idea: Comedian and Parks and Recreation co-star Aziz Ansari will host the MTV Movie Awards on June 6.

– No need to wait for the next Curb Your Enthusiasm DVD release to get bonus features: Larry David is producing a series of featurettes that will include guest stars and pundits dissecting the moral implications of each episode of Curb when the show begins airing on the TV Guide Network this summer (June 2, to be exact).

– EW.com has details on a casting notice that makes it seem like this will be the final season of 24.

– Yay: Days of Our Lives has been renewed through the 2010-11 season. But the bad news: rumor has it that long-time DOOL star, and half of the Bo and Hope supercouple, Peter Reckell, has been let go from the soap.

– Starz, led by former HBO honcho Chris Albrecht, is forging ahead with plans to become a real destination for original programming with the development of a new drama that will put a modern spin on the story of Camelot (the Arthurian legend, not the JFK one).

– If your NCAA hoops bracket isn’t going so well, check out The Late Show‘s Stupid Pet Tricks bracket/competition (and enter for a chance to win a trip to New York City and see David Letterman‘s show live).

– Rosie O’Donnell is planning to launch a new daytime TV talk show in 2011, just as Oprah‘s daily show ends. Rosie’s gotten wackier and wackier since her days on The View, and her old daily talk show, so it’ll be interesting to see if she can still draw a big audience to TV every day.

– Glee, on Broadway? Makes perfect sense to me.

– Betty White is coming back to primetime full-time, and, more good news, about another classic TV star: Tom Selleck is in final negotiations to lead CBS’ fall cop drama pilot, in which he would star as the chief of the NYPD, and Donnie Wahlberg would play his son, an NYPD detective. Awesome.

– And My Name Is Earl dad Beau Bridges will be Jim Rockford’s (Dermot Mulroney) dad on CBS’ Rockford Files remake.

– Among the stars of Bravo’s upcoming The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills spin-off: Kelsey Grammer‘s wife Camille and two of Paris Hilton‘s aunts, including Escape to Witch Mountain star (and guest star of a memorable Little House on the Prairie episode) Kim Richards.

– The last time Oprah went on trial, the end result was that Dr. Phil was unleashed on the world. Let’s hope things turn out better this time.

– Among the new shows SyFy announced at the network’s upfront presentation last week: a cooking show, a magic show and a reality series about special effects make-up artists.

– What every Jersey Shore fan needs on his or her desk: A talking bobblehead version of Snooki, The Situation or DJ Pauly D.

– Paula Abdul has officially turned down the offer to host an ABC revamp of Star Search, making it seem even more likely that she’s holding out for a spot on Simon Cowell‘s U.S. version of X Factory.

– And, at last, someone else who feels the way I do about The Middle. I like Modern Family a lot, but I love The Middle.

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• Filed in 24, Daytime TV, Real Housewives, TV News, TV Toys
• Tags: Aziz Ansari MTV Movie Awards, Christian Slater Fox comedy, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Days of Our Lives renewed, Jersey Shore bobblehead, Peter Reckell, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Tom Selleck