All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– “Jon Gosselin, American Hero”? Bleccch. If there was any lesson to be learned from last night’s Jon & Kate Plus 8 season premiere, it’s that both Gosselins are big ol’ messes and that neither of them is truly better off with the money, fame (infamy?) or freebies their reality show has brought them. But, for all the nasty behavior we see on-screen from the brittle Kate, let’s be honest: Mr. Gosselin doesn’t appear to be much of a prize, either. So, “American hero”?! Again, bleccch. That word is tossed around all too lightly, particularly given that we just celebrated Memorial Day.

– Remember when Friday night used to be one of the best TV-watching nights of the week, back when J.R. was getting shot by Kris-ten (as Sue Ellen called her sister) on Dallas and Don Johnson was rocking his white suits, pastel tees and mandals on Miami Vice? USA Today points out that, with 10 scripted series on the Friday night schedule next fall, it may no longer be one of the most skippable viewing nights.

– Meanwhile, The Hollywood Reporter is sizing up next fall’s biggest timeslot battles, including the Friday night, 9PM race, which pits Southland vs. Medium vs. Dollhouse vs. Ugly Betty, or, as THR writer James Hibberd calls it, “The Island of Broken Toys.” Funny. Though I’d argue that Southland shouldn’t be lumped in with the other, has-been, series.

– The New York Times says, if their TV show ratings are a reliable indicator, the Jonas Brothers may be headed the way of ‘N Sync, 98 Degrees and LFO.

– Twitter may become a TV show, though the specifics of how are still sketchy.

– We’ve got the Real Housewives of the O.C., Atlanta, New York City and New Jersey, and while there are already rumors of a Beverly Hills version in the works, Bravo is also reportedly looking to find the Real Housewives of D.C., too.

– And Clay Aiken‘s recent anti-Adam Lambert statements, followed by his sarcastic follow-up/pseudo-backtracking make one thing clear: He’s kinda a big tool.

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• Filed in American Idol, Comedy, Drama, Reality, TV News
• Tags: 'N Sync, 98 Degrees, Adam Lambert, American Idol, Clay Aiken, D.C., Dallas, Dollhouse, Fall schedule, Fall TV schedule, Friday night, Jon & Kate Plus 8, Jon Gosselin, Jonas, Jonas Bros., Jonas Brothers, kate Gosselin, LFO, Medium, Miami Vice, Real Housewives, Real Housewives of Washington, Reality, Southland, The Gosselins, timeslot battle, Twitter, Twitter TV, Ugly Betty

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– The year’s biggest American Idol shocker could turn out to be that Kris Allen earned himself a spot in the final two with his memorable spin on Kanye West‘s “Heartless” on last night’s Idol.

– Jim Krasinski says to expect a cool Jim/Pam story in Thursday night’s fifth-season finale of The Office.

– Discovery Channel is planning a high-def sequel to its incredible Planet Earth series, called Wild Planet: North America.

– Mark Valley, who’s gotten lost in the shuffle on shows like Boston Legal and Fringe after his terrific, but cancelled-too-soon dramedy Keen Eddie, may finally have landed another great series. Fox is reportedly moving forward with Human, based on a DC Comic, in which Valley stars as Christopher Chance, a guy who offers security for hire services by assuming the identities of people in danger (i.e. he becomes the “target” for them). Jackie Earle Haley and Chi McBride are also among the cool cast.

– Alanis Morissette will play Nancy’s (Mary-Louise Parker) baby doctor when Weeds begins its fifth season on June 8.

– Chad Michael Murray and Hilarie Burton will not be returning to One Tree Hill next season, as has been the rumor for months.

– Guess who thinks there should be a Creed-centric episode of The Office? Creed. I totally agree.

– Like Rodney Dangerfield, Tony Danza is going back to school. Danza, who admits that “nobody’s knocking down (his) door for acting jobs,” will teach 10th grade English in a New York City school, and film the whole experience for an A&E reality series. That’s one of the more interesting, and least sleazy, reality show ideas to pop up in quite a while.

– A&E is all about the celebreality genre next season, in fact, with other new shows on the horizon from Shaq, Bob Saget, MC Hammer and Steven Seagal, while most of the network’s other new shows fall into the crime drama category. The best news: Parking Wars will be back for another season.

– Jamie Foxx will host the BET Awards on June 28 in Los Angeles, with performances by Ne-Yo and Maxwell.

– Starz has given Party Down, an underrated comedy that you should be watching, a second-season pick-up.

– And Paulina Porizkova explained her firing from America’s Next Top Model to Craig Ferguson last night.

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• Filed in American Idol, Celebreality, Comedy, Drama, TV News
• Tags: A&E, America's Next Top Model, American Idol, BET, BET Awards, Bob Saget, Celebreality, Chad Michael Murray, Craig Ferguson, Creed Bratton, Hilarie Burton, Jamie Foxx, Jim Krasinski, Kris Allen, Mark Valley, Mary-Louise Parker, One Tree Hill, Parking Wars, Party Down, Planet Earth, Reality, Starz, The Office, Tony Danza, Weeds