(ALL TIMES ET)
9PM | ABC
Modern Family – Mitchell and Cameron “audition” for potential birth mothers, while Phil gets Haley and Gloria to pretend to be regular audience members during his big real estate presentation. And when Manny and Luke have to concoct the best capsule to protect an egg in a two-story drop for a school project, we see exactly where Claire’s hyper-competitive side came from.
8PM | ABC
The Middle – Sue finds out a member of the wrestling team is crushing on her, while Brick makes a map project for school … and Axl eats it.
8PM | THE CW – 9TH SEASON PREMIERE
One Tree Hill – Past citizens return, as Brooke and Julian settle into family life and the show kicks off its final season.
8:30PM | NBC – SERIES PREMIERE
Are You There, Chelsea? – This is not a recommendation that you watch this show, based on Chelsea Handler‘s book, and starring That ’70s Show‘s Laura Prepon as the Handler character and Handler herself, well, not as Handler … it is only a reminder that it premieres tonight should you want to watch it. Again, not recommending it as something you should watch/will derive any entertainment value from. Not.
9PM | CBS
People’s Choice Awards – You picked ’em. Now see how your votes played out as Kaley Cuoco hosts the live show, from the Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles. Among the stars scheduled to present/attend: Faith Hill, Demi Lovato, Robert Pattinson, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Ian Somerhalder, Nina Dobrev, Paul Wesley, Cuba Gooding Jr., Cory Monteith, David Boreanaz, Angus T. Jones, Don Cheadle, Julianne Hough, Busy Phillips, Rob Schneider, Sharon Osbourne, Liam Hemsworth, Alyson Hannigan, Zachary Levi, Matt Bomer, Elisha Cuthbert, Pauley Perrette and Vanessa Hudgens.
9:30PM | ABC
Happy Endings – Dave’s dad (guest star Michael McKean) comes to town with his new girlfriend: Penny’s mom (guest star Megan Mullally). Penny is happy about the new duo, Dave, not so much.
10PM | NBC
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – Creepy: Kevin Pollack and Fisher Stevens guest star as an actress is sexually assaulted during a theater performance, and the audience thinks it’s all a part of the act.
10PM | MTV
Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Battle of the Exes Launch Special – Challenge vet Kenny Santucci hosts this preview of the Jan. 25 Challenge season, in which former BFs and GFs are reunited, whether they like it or not, to try to win the $300,000 grand prize.
10PM | FOOD NETWORK
Restaurant: Impossible – Chef Robert performs his makeover magic on a California bistro whose owners are more than $2 million in debt.
10PM | ABC
Revenge – From ABC’s official description of tonight’s episode: “a stunning revelation is unveiled and becomes a game changer for Emily and the Graysons.” This may be the best primetime soap since the Allison/Billy/Amanda and Brenda/Dylan/Kelly days of Melrose Place and Beverly Hills 90210.
Worth flipping to during commercials:
– On Suburgatory (8:30PM, ABC), Tessa thinks the new boy at school is gay, but he’s really an undercover cop (yes, just like Johnny Depp on 21 Jump Street);
– Adam Richman kicks off Amazing Eats (9 and 9:30PM, Travel), in which he travels the country to track down favorites like the best pork dishes and the best burgers;
– It’s the 8th season premiere of Ghost Hunters (9PM, Syfy);
– It’s the season two premiere of Face Off (10PM, Syfy), the reality competition series for aspiring makeup/special effects movie artists;
– Joel McHale and the gang serve up another bowl of The Soup (10PM, E!);
– On Toddlers & Tiaras (10PM, TLC), the contestants include feuding sisters and a little girl coached by a drag queen;
– And on Top Chef: Texas (10PM, Bravo), it’s restaurant wars week!
And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Jack McBrayer;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Senator Jim DeMint;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): George Stephanopoulas;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Dolly Parton;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Liam Neeson;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Woody Harrelson and Yvonne Strahovski;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Robin Thicke, Donnie Wahlberg and Rosie O’Donnell;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Adam Goldberg;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): The Airborne Toxic Event.
Charlie Sheen, Russell Brand and Louis C.K. are getting most of the attention, but I’m most excited that one of the best new shows of last TV season — Wilfred — returns for its second season on FX tonight (10PM ET). Season one of the series ended with a cliffhanger — had Ryan (Elijah Wood) […]