(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM, SUN | ABC – 7TH SEASON FINALE
Desperate Housewives – The two-hour season ender has Renee bumming that her ex is remarrying, Tom and Lynnette trying to reconnect, Susan being welcomed back to the block with a party, Gaby finding out who’s stalking her, Bree wondering if her new dude is gay and … a murder!

11:30PM, SAT | NBC
Saturday Night Live – The Office and Hangover 2 star Ed Helms hosts the penultimate episode of the season, with Paul Simon as the musical guest.

8PM, SUN | ABC – 8TH SEASON FINALE
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition – While Ty and the crew build his family a new home, Patrick, a 9-year-old boy with brittle bone disease, travels to Hollywood to meet the cast of The Middle, including Patrick’s hero, The Middle star Atticus Shaffer.

8PM, SUN | STYLE – 3RD SEASON PREMIERE
Jerseylicious – The new season kicks off with Olivia reuniting with her ex, while Gigi tries to get used to being single.

8PM, SUN | FOX
The Simpsons – When the fam finds a set of keys that allow them to open every door in Springfield, Lisa discovers a secret classroom beneath Springfield Elementary.

8PM, SUN | CBS – 22ND SEASON FINALE
Survivor: Redemption Island – A three-hour block includes the season finale and the live reunion special, where the jury decides who will win the million-dollar prize.

9PM, SUN | NBC
The Celebrity Apprentice – In part one of the season finale, past celeb winners Joan Rivers, Bret Michaels and Piers Morgan return to help The Donald decide which of this season’s contestants should make the final two. After choosing them (can it really be anyone but John Rich and Marlee Matlin?), the final celebs must design packaging for a retro soda can and then shoot a commercial for the product.

10PM, SUN | A&E
Breakout Kings – A convict breaks out with plans to kidnap, and kill, a TV host.

10PM, SUN | DISCOVERY
Killing Bin Laden – The scoop on the Bin Laden military operation, with details on the Seal Team 6 and Bin Laden’s sea burial.

10PM, SUN | BRAVO
Real Housewives of Orange County – When the women head to Texas with Gretchen, Alexis lets her guard down and talks about her life with Jim. Meanwhile, back in Orange County, Tamra‘s legal woes with Simon become an issue between her and Jeana when Jeana blabs to the media about her take on Tamra and her ex.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– A Time Lord’s distress call sends the Doctor off on a mission that puts his companions and the TARDIS in jeopardy on Doctor Who (Sat., 9PM, BBCA);
– Off the Rez (Sat., 9PM, TLC) is a documentary that follows Native American basketball player Shoni Schimmel and her mother as they move off their Oregon reservation and try to secure a college scholarship for Shoni;
– Robert Pattinson, Reese Witherspoon and Hugh Laurie are the guests on The Graham Norton Show (Sat., 10PM, BBCA);
– A valet’s error sends two Philly women scrambling for their impounded car on Parking Wars (Sat., 10PM, A&E);
– Gail counsels a couple $100,000 in debt on Til Debt Do Us Part (Sat., 10PM, CNBC);
– Renee cuts loose during girls night out on Mob Wives (Sun., 8PM, VH1);
– Trevor’s marital woes impact his work on Army Wives (Sun., 9PM, Lifetime);
– Peter home schools Meg and Chris when Lois goes to Paris on Family Guy (Sun., 9PM, Fox);
– The detectives investigate a hacker’s murder on Law & Order: Criminal Intent (Sun., 9PM, USA);
– Cleveland and the fam go to Comic Con in the season two finale of The Cleveland Show (Sun., 9:30PM, Fox);
– Mary plays go-between for a witness and a suspect who’ve fallen for each other on In Plain Sight (Sun., 10PM, USA);
– It’s Christmastime on Treme (Sun., 10PM, HBO).

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• Filed in Late Night, Real Housewives
• Tags: Breakout Kings, Celebrity Apprentice, Desperate Housewives, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Jerseylicious, Killing Bin Laden, Real Housewives of Orange County, Saturday Night Live, Survivor Redemption Island, The Simpsons

(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM, SUN | FOOD NETWORK
Chopped All-Stars – In part two of the five-part all-star competition, four Food network stars – including Duff Goldman and Robert Irvine – delve into the mystery baskets, which, in the dessert round, includes jelly beans and fennel.

9PM, SAT | CMT
Ron White’s Comedy Salute to the Troops – With troops from Camp Pendleton in attendance, Ron White hosts and Lewis Black and Rascal Flatts are among the performers in this concert, with proceeds benefitting the Armed Forces Foundation.

9:30PM, SAT | HBO
Runnin’ Rebels of UNLV – The fast-paced doc chronicles the fast-paced UNLV men’s basketball program under Coach Jerry Tarkanian, which netted a national championship and the constant scrutiny of the NCAA.

10PM, SAT | SCIENCE CHANNEL – 1ST SEASON FINALE
An Idiot Abroad – Karl returns home from his ’round the world journey, and Ricky and Stephen are waiting to find out what (if anything) he’s learned.

11:30PM, SAT | NBC
Saturday Night Live – Zach Galifianakis hosts, Jessie J is musical guest and, if there is a comedy god, Stefon (Bill Hader) will make an appearance during Weekend Update.

8PM, SUN | SUNDANCE – 2ND SEASON FINALE
Brick City – Mayor Booker wins re-election in the season ender, but the celebration is short-lived as his city’s money woes continue and his proposed budget doesn’t get the vote of the city council.

9PM, SUN | VH1
40 Most Shocking Breakups – If Tiger and Elin and Sandra and Jesse aren’t numero uno, they’ve gotta be near the top, no?

9PM, SUN | HBO
Big Love – Heading into next Sunday’s series finale, the family has to worry about Alby, Rhonda, Margene, Barb’s new church and Cara Lynn and her teacher. And it’s leading up to what will include at least one shocker in the big wrap-up next week.

9PM, SUN | NBC
The Celebrity Apprentice – Writing a children’s book seems like an innocent enough task, but this group of goofy celebs manages to turn it into a drama-ridden exercise. Oh, Gary Busey.

9PM, SUN | TLC – 2ND SEASON PREMIERE
Sister Wives – What happened after the real-life Big Love types outed themselves as polygamists in the premiere season? We get the scoop in the season two premiere, as Kody and his wives travel to New York to do the talk show circuit.

10PM, SUN | BRAVO
The Real Housewives of Orange County – Gretchen begins to wonder if marrying Slade is a good idea. Duh, losing!

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– It’s up to Kel Mitchell and Nia Peeples to save the world from an alien invasion in Battle of Los Angeles (Sat., 9PM, Syfy);
– Bobby Flay samples the most delicious foods of Ireland in Bobby’s Ireland (Sat., 9PM, Food Network);
– The Biebs and Natasha Bedingfield make guest appearances during the Rascal Flatts: Nothng Like This concert in Minnesota (Sat., 9PM, ABC);
– In back-to-back episodes of Til Debt Do Us Part (Sat., 10PM, CNBC), Gail helps one couple who, with their four children, are about to face foreclosure, plus a newlywed couple with two kids;
– The Amazing Race (Sun., 8PM, CBS) continues in China;
– The 10 finalists have to create a logo, hire a chef and feed thousands of people at CityWalk in Hollywood on America’s Next Great Restaurant (Sun., 8PM, NBC);
– John Salley hosts the Basketball Wives Reunion Special (Sun., 8PM, VH1). a.k.a. Ev and Tami, the rematch;
– Ruby (Sun., 8PM, Style) spirals into a depression after finding letters she wrote to herself as a teenager;
– Homer becomes a part of the comedy team Cheech and Chunk on The Simpsons (Sun., 8PM, Fox);
– Claudia Joy graduates and gets a big job offer on Army Wives (Sun., 9PM, Lifetime);
– On Californication (Sun., 9PM, Showtime), Hank’s trial begins, as does the parade of witnesses who, in telling the truth, paint a not-so-favorable portrait of Mr. Moody;
– David remakes a belly dancer’s wedding on My Fair Wedding With David Tutera (Sun., 9PM, WE);
– The team has to track down a bad dude who likes to kidnap and torture women on Breakout Kings (Sun., 10PM, A&E);
– Series star Adam Rodriguez wrote and directed this episode of CSI: Miami (Sun., 10PM, CBS), in which the team discovers a creepy hunting club where the prey is people.

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• Filed in Real Housewives, Saturday Night Live, Sports, TV Picks
• Tags: 40 Most Shocking Breakups VH1, An Idiot Abroad, Big Love, Brick City, Celebrity Apprentice, Chopped All-Stars, Real Housewives of Orange County, Ron White's Comedy Salute to the Troops, Runnin' Rebels of UNLV, Saturday Night Live, Sister Wives season 2

(ALL TIMES ET)

8PM, SUN | CBS
53rd Annual Grammy Awards – Movie awards shows can drag on forever, but think of this annual music kudosfest as more of a concert. On the star-packed bill: Justin Bieber, who performs with Usher and Jaden “Karate Kid” Smith, Mick Jagger, Barbra Streisand, Rihanna with Drake, Eminem, Lady Gaga, Cee Lo Green, Bruno Mars, Katy Perry and Lady Antebellum. Statues will be doled out, too, of course, with Eminem leading all contenders with 10 nominations, followed by Mars with seven and Jay-Z, Gaga and Lady Antebellum with six each.

9PM, SAT | HBO
The Sunset Limited – Tommy Lee Jones directs, executive produces and co-stars in this adaptation of Cormac McCarthy‘s play about an atheist professor (Jones) who tries to commit suicide, and the religious ex-con (Samuel L. Jackson) who saves him.

11:30PM, SAT | NBC
Saturday Night Live – Russell Brand hosts, Chris Brown performs … Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?

9PM, SUN | HBO
Big Love – The show’s final season is at the halfway mark after this episode, in which Bill battles with the Mormon church for his Senate goals, Cara Lynn’s adoption hits a snag and Lois tries to rewrite the truth about her marriage to Frank.

9PM, SUN | ABC
Desperate Housewives – Mike investigates whether Zach was involved in Paul’s shooting, but more importantly, J.R. Ewing guest stars again!

9PM, SUN | FOX
Family Guy – When he and Brian create a ruckus in a movie theater, Peter and the pooch are ordered to attend AA meetings, but they don’t really take with Peter.

9PM, SUN | FOOD NETWORK
Worst Cooks in America – After the final four compete in a “culinary decathalon,” their families show up and ask each of them to make a favorite dish.

9:30PM, SUN | SHOWTIME
Episodes – Bev thinks Sean is having an affair with Morning, so she … well, she does something that she’s not going to be able to take back, setting up a tension-filled season finale next week.

10PM, SUN | ANIMAL PLANET – 2ND SEASON PREMIERE
Fatal Attractions – New Joisey police discover a dangerous tiger stalking around a residential neighborhood. And no, it’s not Snooki.

10PM, SUN | BRAVO
The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion, Part 1 – The ladies rehash the drama of season three, and, no surprise, much of it revolves around NeNe and Kim.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– The BAFTAs, the “British Oscars,” air on BBC America (Sun., 8PM), and The King’s Speech is the favorite there, too;
– Mayor Booker kicks off his reelection campaign on Brick City (Sun., 8PM, Sundance);
– On The Simpsons (Sun., 8PM, Fox), a lonely Valentine’s Day sends Moe on the prowl to meet women, with Homer as his wingman (D’oh!);
– On Californication (Sun., 9PM, Showtime), a naughty photo of Hank may land him in even more hot water, and without an attorney;
– David helps a bride whose wedding theme is mini trucks (huh?!) on My Fair Wedding With David Tutera (Sun., 9PM, WE);
– And LeBron James, Kevin Garnett, Shaquille O’Neal, Dwight Howard and Steve Nash are among the NBAers guest starring on The Cleveland Show (Sun., 9:30PM, Fox).

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• Filed in Award shows, Real Housewives, Saturday Night Live, TV Picks
• Tags: Big Love, Desperate Housewives, Episodes, Family Guy, Fatal Attractions, Grammys, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Saturday Night Live, The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion, The Sunset Limited, Worst Cooks in America

(ALL TIMES ET)

3PM, SUN | ANIMAL PLANET
Puppy Bowl VII – The commercials may not be as memorable, but the starting lineup is infinitely more adorable than in today’s other big game. Animal Planet’s annual puppy football game is back with even more squeal-inducing cuteness, as the precious puppies on the field are joined by chicken cheerleaders, kittens at halftime, hamsters in the stadium flyover blimp and the all-new Puppy Cam, which provides a true dog’s-eye-view of the action on the field. The fun atmosphere of the festivities (which will be repeated until 3AM) aside, the event also serves as a reminder of the great pets that are available for adoption, as all the puppies participating, as well as the kittens and chicken cheerleaders, are from animal shelters.

11AM, SAT | OXYGEN
Gleekend Marathon – From 11AM to 11PM, Oxygen unspools Glee episodes, including “The Power of Madonna” (noon), “Britney/Brittany” (3PM) and “The Rocky Horror” (6PM).

10PM, SAT | PLANET GREEN
Boomtown – In back-to-back new episodes, the townsfolk are still finding new ways to profit from the oil supply, but they also begin to find out how the influx of oil drillers is going to be a drain on their other resources.

10PM, SAT | CMT
CMT Crossroads – The Pretenders and Faith Hill are the latest rock/country pairing to get together for a performance, with this one talking place live in Dallas, as part of the Pepsi Super Bowl Fan Jam.

10PM, SAT | CNBC
Til Debt Do Us Part – As cool as it would be to have host Gail Vaz-Oxlade visit some American couples and perform her financial makeover magic, I’d miss hearing the Canadians talk about their “hydro” bills.

11:30PM, SAT | NBC
Saturday Night Live – Cast alum Dana Carvey returns to host at his old Studio 8H stomping grounds, with Linkin Park as musical guest and, just guessing, the Church Chat lady on tap.

6PM, SUN | FOX
Super Bowl XLV – Game kick-off is at 6:30, but tune in for the pre-game hubbub, as Christina Aguilera sings the national anthem, Glee star Lea Michele belts out America the Beautiful, and Keith Urban, Maroon 5 and the Blue Man Group also get in on the pre-game action. The Black Eyed Peas, meanwhile, perform at halftime (with “surprise” guests Slash and Usher … surprise), and there’s also that little matter of a football game between the Steelers and Packers …

9PM, SUN | NBC
Dateline NBC – Tom Brokaw interviews Aron Ralston, whose 2003 hiking adventure was depicted by James Franco in the Oscar-nominated flick 127 Hours. Ralston not only talks about his harrowing self-amputation, but updates Brokaw on his life now, as a husband and father.

9PM, SAT | FOOD NETWORK
Food Network Challenge – How Valentine-y: Four chocolatiers create cocoa backdrops that will serve as the locale for a grand proposal at the end of the hour.

AFTER THE SUPER BOWL, SUN | FOX
Glee – The Glee gang puts a New Directions spin on Michael Jackson‘s Thriller.

Super Bowl alternatives:
– The Style Network airs the “Jersey Bowl,” an all-day marathon of Jerseylicious episodes (Sun., 6AM-10PM, Style);
– The entire first season of My Life as Liz unfolds in an MTV marathon (Sun., 6AM-11AM);
– Ghost Hunters marathon (Sun., 9AM-9PM, Syfy);
– Law & Order: SVU marathon (Sun., 10AM-midnight, USA);
– Basketball Wives marathon (Sun., noon-7PM, VH1);
– A Degrassi marathon! (Sun., noon-11PM, TeenNick);
– The Jersey Shore marathon (Sun., noon-6PM, MTV);
– 1000 Ways to Die marathon (Sun., 1PM-midnight, Spike);
– A marathon of Brick City (Sun., 4PM-midnight, Sundance);
– My Fair Wedding with David Tutera marathon (Sun., 4-11PM, WE);
– Worst Cooks in America marathon, ending with a new episode (Sun., 5-11PM, Food Network);
– Four episodes of ESPN’s fantastic 30 for 30 documentary series (Sun, 5:30-10PM, ESPN);
– Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon (Sun., 6PM-midnight, Chiller Network);
– MTV airs a Teen Mom 2 marathon (Sun, 6-10PM);
– And TV Land is running a clever marathon of holiday-themed Roseanne episodes (Sun., 7-10:30PM).

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• Filed in Glee, Sports, TV Picks
• Tags: Boomtown, CMT Crossroads, Dana Carvey, Glee Michael Jackson Thriller, Gleekend, Puppy Bowl VII, Saturday Night Live, Steelers vs. Packers, Super Bowl XLV, Til Debt Do Us Part

Last night’s Saturday Night Live: meh. Actually, less than meh … it was pretty bad, hands down one of the worst of the season, save Weekend Update.

In particular: current SNL writer/former Best Week Ever (sigh … RIP BWE) commentator John Mulaney, who visited Weekend Update to share his frustrations with the challenging pursuit of trying to buy Girl Scout cookies. Fan reaction at EW.com included someone nominating Mulaney as the next SNL cast member, which I second.

By the way, if you have the chance to see Mulaney live, take it. His entire stand-up performance is fantastic, from the Girl Scout cookie bit to an even more hilarious take on Law & Order:

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• Filed in Saturday Night Live, Ya Gotta See This!
• Tags: John Mulaney, John Mulaney Girl Scout cookies, John Mulaney Law & Order, Saturday Night Live, Saturday Night Live Girl Scout cookies