All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Oscar winner Diane Keaton is set to star in a new HBO comedy inspired by Gloria Steinem. Keaton will play a feminist icon who tries to spark a rejuvenation of the feminist movement by starting a porn magazine for women. The series (which would make an interesting primetime block with HBO’s Hung) is being written by Buffy the Vampire Slayer producer and writer Marti Noxon.

– When Jon & Kate Plus 8 returns with new episodes on TLC on Aug. 3, the action will not include the separated couple’s extracurricular love interests.

– The Emmy folks are considering pre-recording a handful of categories’ winners and inserting them into the live Neil Patrick Harris-hosted telecast on Sept. 20. Organizers are calling the idea “time-shifting” those awards’ presentations … really, Emmy people? If those award categories (which includes the drama writing category for which Mad Men nabbed four of five nominations) aren’t deemed important enough to air live, why air them at all during the main Emmy telecast?

– TLC has renewed Cake Boss with New Jersey baker Buddy Valastro for a second season, which will air sometime in the fall. The current debut season wraps on Aug. 17.

– Life co-star Donal Logue will star in FX’s new dramedy Terriers, written by The Shield‘s Shawn Ryan. The new series will feature Logue as a P.I. who, partnered with his best friend, isn’t exactly the most mature private eye on the block.

– Ugly Betty/Harper’s Island/Popular alum Christopher Gorham has been cast  in USA’s new CIA thriller Covert Affairs. The show will star Gorham as a blind special ops agent who helps train a newbie CIA agent played by Piper Perabo.

– The Hills – sans Lauren Conrad and with new star Kristin Cavallari – kicks off its new season on Sept. 29 on MTV.

– Must-see-TV clip of the day: Anderson Cooper, subbing for Reeg on Live with Regis and Kelly, asking The Bachelorette‘s Jillian Harris the question we all really want the answer to.

– While promoting her new TV Land show How’d You Get So Rich?, which premieres Aug. 5, Joan Rivers made it clear she’s no fan of Jay Leno.

– The big news coming out of the annual Television Critics’ Association gathering about Starz’ 2010 drama Spartacus: Lots of nudity. Lots and lots of nudity.

– And tonight in primetime:

– Another one bites the dust as a contestant is Michael’s on the hunt for a client list on Burn Notice (9PM, USA)
– Sean Paul sings and JabbaWockeeZ dances as two more are cut on So You Think You Can Dance (9PM, Fox)
– She’s Got the Look wraps its second season and chooses a winner on TV Land (9PM)
– What kind of 3BR house will $700,000 buy you in Los Angeles? Find out on House Hunters (9PM, HGTV)
– Duff cakes a precariously balanced Cirque du Soleil cake on Ace of Cakes (10PM, Food Network)
– Jill and Hank tussle over a patient on Royal Pains (10PM, USA)
– It’s season two – and the return of NeNe! – for The Real Housewives of Atlanta (10PM, Bravo)
– Is Audrey dunzo on LA Ink (10PM, TLC)?
– MTV has unaired footage from season one of 16 and Pregnant (10PM)
– Penn & Teller: Bullshit! (10PM, Showtime) examines the claims about organic food
– And it’s beauty queen vs. gossiper vs. salon owner on WE’s Most Popular (10PM)

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• Tags: 2009 Emmys, Buddy Valastro, Cake Boss, Christopher Gorham, Covert Affairs USA, Diane Keaton HBO, Donal Logue, Joan Rivers, Jon & Kate Plus 8, Kristin Cavallari, Marti Noxon, Piper Perabo, Shawn Ryan, Spartacus Sstarz, The Bachelorette, The Hills new season, The Hills returns

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Mad Men, season three, August 16 at 10PM ET on AMC. Be there, or be somewhere else, somewhere where people don’t knock back three vodka gimlets before lunch, aren’t nearly as dapperly-attired as Don Draper (Jon Hamm) and don’t have offices that are bigger than my entire New York City apartment. Yeah, not sounding nearly as much fun as Mad Men, right?

– Is designer Vera Wang going to be competing on the next season of Dancing With the Stars? And if so, does that mean we can count on less cheesy costumes?

– Plus-size model Emme has been hired to host Fox’s More to Love, the reality dating show that will feature “average-looking” people

– Discovery Channel’s 22nd annual Shark Week kicks off on August 2.

– Matt Mitovich at TVGuide.com says Rick Springfield will play, fittingly enough, Rick Springfield, when he guest stars on the new season of Californication, but he’ll be a naughty Rick Springfield, one whose sex play makes David Duchovny‘s Hank “look like a Jonas brother.” Not that I’m buying that whole purity ring business about the Jonas Bros. …

– In celebration of its 15th anniversary, TCM has created its own social network site, TCM Classic Film Union, for movie buffs.

– Gordon Ramsay has apologized for, well, basically, for being a tool. You can watch the apology here.

– I reeeally want to like Dr. Drew and trust his motives, but a real doctor prolly should offer to help Lindsay Lohan, or a less-famous addict, whether or not she accepts a reported six-figure offer to appear on his reality show, Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, right? Of course, the story seems to be originating with Lohan’s dad, so, grain – no, make that rock, huge, ginormous rock – of salt on the whole thing.

– The Shield creator Shawn Ryan is going back to FX with a comedy about private detectives, called Terriers.

– Futurama‘s back! With 26 new episodes in 2010!

– Good news for David Letterman: He, with guest Julia Roberts, beat Conan O’Brien‘s Tonight Show on Tuesday. Worse news for Conan: His ratings keep dropping. Don’t count him out tho; remember his first years as Late Night host?

– More ratings wars news: Judge Judy beat Oprah. Whoa.

– ABC’s getting a jump on the competition by announcing its fall premiere dates.

– The ratings for the Nurse Jackie series premiere were so good, Showtime’s already greenlighting a second season, so go ahead and get hooked.

– Heidi Pratt‘s launching her own line of dry shampoo, after her shampoo shenanigans on I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. I’m sure Oscar Blandi is shaking in his celebrity hair-cutting boots.

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• Filed in Celebreality, Late Night, Reality, TV News
• Tags: Californication, Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, Conan O'Brien, Dancing With the Stars, David Duchovny, David Letterman, Discovery Channel, Don Draper, Dr. Drew, Drew Pinsky, Emme, Futurama, Get Me Out of Here, Gordon Ramsay, Heidi Pratt, I'm a Celebrity, Jon Hamm, Jonas, Judge Judy, Julia Roberts, Lindsay Lohan, Mad Men, More to Love, Nurse Jackie, Oprah, Rick Springfield, Shark Week, Shawn Ryan, TCM Classic Film Union, The Shield, Tonight Show, Vera Wang