(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | SHOWTIME
Weeds – Her fellow housewives, drug lords and federal agents haven’t been able to keep up with Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) and her clever ways, but she might have finally met her match in Zoya (Olga Sosnovska), her prison pal, whose surprise arrival in New York is going to throw everyone’s world into chaos. In tonight’s episode, Nancy and Andy (Justin Kirk) try to figure out how to keep Zoya from taking over the bike shop, while Silas (Hunter Parrish) is dealing with takeover attempts of his own and Doug (Kevin Nealon) tries to fend off the SEC.

8PM | VH1
Basketball Wives, Reunion Part 2 – John Salley continues to nudge to women into dishing some dirt on the recently-concluded third season, which, of course, leads to more squabbles, most of them involving Royce.

8PM | SYFY
Eureka – Carter (Colin Ferguson) and Allison (Salli Richardson-Whitfield) are the subject of a relationship audit by the Department of Defense.

9PM | TNT
The Closer – As Capt. Raydor (Mary McDonnell) pushes forward with her investigation of Brenda’s (Kyra Sedgwick) squad, her focus narrows in on Sanchez (Raymond Cruz).

9PM | SYFY
Warehouse 13 – When Myka (Joanne Kelly) hunts for the man who killed her old partner, her fellow Warehouse 13 agents think there may be a link between the murderer and the Secret Service.

10PM | LOGO
The A-List: New York – Ryan‘s runway show turns into another opportunity for a drama involving Austin, who has even bigger problems when most of his NYC pals turn against him.

10PM | FOOD NETWORK
The Best Thing I Ever Ate – Food Network personalities share their favorite childhood foods, including cotton candy, homemade pasta and Frito Pie.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Jake finds out he has more allies than Kasey and the nasty Vienna on Bachelor Pad (8PM, ABC);
– Back-to-back new eps of Hell’s Kitchen (8 and 9PM, Fox) result in the elimination of two more contestants;
– Amy is awaiting a marriage proposal from Ricky, who has other plans on Secret Life of the American Teenager (8PM, ABC Family);
– Alli plans to take things to a new level with Dave before summer break on Degrassi (9PM, TeenNick);
– The weekly four-ep marathon of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (9PM, Comedy Central) includes “The Gang Hits the Road,” in which the Paddy’s crew tries to go to the Grand Canyon;
– The new reality series LaLa’s Full Court Life (9PM, VH1) revolves around La La Vazquez and NBA hubby Carmelo Anthony;
– The third season premiere of The T.O. Show (9:30PM, VH1) finds T.O. facing ACL surgery;
– The Alphas (10PM, Syfy) have to protect an inventor whose concoctions could be dangerous if the wrong people get their hands on them;
– The new reality series Bear Swamp Recovery (10PM, TruTV) follows a New Jersey family who operate a repo business;
– Rich people hiring hitmen is the subject of tonight’s Behind Mansion Walls (10PM, ID);
– Frankie’s ex returns to town with a big surprise on Rizzoli & Isles (10PM, TNT);
– On The Big C (10:30PM, Showtime), Rebecca’s miscarriage leads to a reunion for Cathy.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Tom Hanks, Jack McBrayer and Soundgarden (REPEAT);
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Matt Long (REPEAT);
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Elliott Ackerman (REPEAT);
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Denis Leary;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Emma Stone and Adam Carolla (REPEAT);
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Aaron Paul and Roseanne Barr (REPEAT);
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Lou Dobbs and Cory Monteith (REPEAT);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Hugh Laurie;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Adam Blackstone.

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• Filed in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Late Night, TV Marathon, TV Picks, Weeds
• Tags: Basketball Wives, Eureka, Reunion Part 2, The A-List: New York, The Best Thing I Ever Ate, The Closer, Warehouse 13, Weeds

(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM | ABC FAMILY – SERIES PREMIERE
The Lying Game – Another series based on novels by Pretty Little Liars author Sara Shepherd, The Lying Game revolves around twins Emma and Sutton (As the World Turns alum Alexandra Chando). The twins meet for the first time, and foster teen Emma agrees to swap lives with rich kid Sutton, who wants to research the twins’ mother. But when Sutton goes MIA, Emma has to decide whether or not to continue the ruse (duh … there’d be no show if she didn’t). PS – Other stars of the series include Heroes alum Adrian Pasdar and The Office alum Andy “David Wallace” Buckley as Sutton’s dad, Ted.

8PM | VH1
Basketball Wives Reunion Part 1 – You know how the other women hated on Meeka Claxton most of the season? It continues at the reunion.

9PM | TNT
The Closer – Brenda considers hiring an attorney, but it’s Fritz who will have to make the financial sacrifices a high-priced lawyer will necessitate.

9PM | HBO
Gloria: In Her Own Words – Another fine entry in HBO’s summer documentary series, this profile of Gloria Steinem includes interviews with her, as she discusses her career as a journalist, her childhood and her role as an icon of the women’s lib movement of the ’70s.

9PM | FUSE
Top 100 Number Ones – Nick Cannon host this 10-part(!) countdown of hit songs of the 2000s. Hey man, Mariah’s blinged out Ring Pops don’t pay for themselves.

9PM | SYFY
Warehouse 13 – Fargo gets trapped inside a video game that was inspired by Warehouse 13. What a great idea for an actual videogame.

10PM | BRAVO – SERIES PREMIERE
Most Eligible Dallas – The network would have us believe this is the best thing to hit Bravo since Real Housewives. Let’s hope they mean Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and not the Miami or D.C. bunches.

10PM | MTV – 1ST SEASON FINALE
Teen Wolf – Scott has to rely on friends and enemies to try and stop the killings (and reunite with Allison).

10PM | SHOWTIME
Weeds – While Shane thrives in his new internship, Andy and Silas clash over how to run the bike shop/pot store and Nancy’s relationship with her supplier is, um, complicated by the arrival of her old cellmate.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Paint-soaked balls are thrown to see who gets eliminated from the Bachelor Pad (8PM, ABC), and guess who Vienna and Kasey target? Yes, of course, Jake;
– Carter talks to Allison about her mental condition on Eureka (8PM, Syfy);
– The top nine complete on Hell’s Kitchen (8PM, Fox);
– A voicemail stirs up drama between Amy and Ricky on Secret Life of the American Teenager (8PM, ABC Family);
– A stressed-out Drew becomes obsessed with his ultimate-fighting workouts on Degrassi (9PM, TeenNick);
– Tonight’s four-ep marathon of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (9PM, Comedy Central) includes the classic “The Nightman Cometh” at 9:30PM;
– Patti Stanger returns for a 5th season of trying to kook up the lovelorn on Millionaire Matchmaker (9PM, Bravo);
– Oh, Austin … he and Derek seem destined to be enemies now (again) on The A-List: New York (10PM, Logo);
– Bill and Gary test their powers with a case outside the team on Alphas (10PM, Syfy);
– On Pawn Star$ (10 and 10:30PM, History), the big get is a pilot license signed by Orville Wright;
– Maura’s mama (guest star Jacqueline Bisset) visits on Rizzoli & Isles (10PM, TNT);
– Thanksgiving family dinner at Cathy’s house turns into a family drama on The Big C (10:30PM, Showtime) when Cathy reveals a big secret.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Kathy Griffin;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Ali Velshi;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Susan Rice;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Harrison Ford (REPEAT);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Train and Olivia Wilde (REPEAT);
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Betty White;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Mila Kunis (REPEAT);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Betty White and Patton Oswalt (REPEAT);
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Shane Smith (REPEAT).

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• Filed in Betty White, Documentary, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Late Night, TV Marathon, TV Picks, Weeds
• Tags: Basketball Wives reunion, Gloria Steinem documentary, Most Eligible Dallas, Teen Wolf series premiere, The Closer, The Lying Game, Warehouse 13, Weeds

(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | SHOWTIME
Weeds – Much like how the current season of Curb Your Enthusiasm is proving to be so hilarious because Larry is finally fully embracing his social assassin personality, I’m enjoying how the Weeds characters are completely letting their freak flags fly in their new season. So, tonight, as Andy opens his bike shop, Silas runs his own business out of the back; Nancy runs her own “franchise” while ringer Doug plays softball for his company; and killer Shane is offered an internship … by a police detective.

8PM | ABC – 2ND SEASON PREMIERE
Bachelor Pad – I cannot, in good conscious, actually suggest you watch this Big Brother-meets-The Bachelor/Bachelorette mess. But, it will find former Bachelor Jake Pavelka and his one-time fiancé Vienna Girardi, getting nasty with, or rather about, each other again, and in front of her current boyfriend, Kasey Kahl (a Bachelorette alum). Do with that what you will.

8PM | NETWORK – 3RD SEASON FINALE
Basketball Wives – The season ends with Jen‘s over-the-top divorce party, and a tiff with Chad and Evelyn when she sees him at lunch with another woman.

9PM | TNT
The Closer – While the squad investigates the death of a minister (who has some scandalous secrets), there’s inner-office drama when all but one member of the Major Crimes team receives a subpoena in the civil suit against the LAPD.

9PM | HBO
Superheroes – The documentary profiles “real-life superheroes,” a group of civilians who wear costumes and dedicate themselves to helping people who can’t help themselves.

9PM | SYFY
Warehouse 13 – Pete and Myka team with H.G. Wells to track down Joshua’s Trumpet, an artifact that has remained a mystery for three generations and is now putting the lives of an entire baseball stadium full of people at risk.

10PM | LOGO
The A-List: New York – Oh, A-List: New York, I can’t quit you, no matter how bitchy and backstabby your “cast” may be. Tonight, the friction between BFFs Ryan and TJ continues as one faces career uncertainty while the other gets a major career boost.

10:30PM | FOOD NETWORK – SERIES PREMIERE
Sugar High – Ace of Cakes star Duff Goldman is back on the network with this fun series, in which he travels around the country to find the most outrageous desserts. First up, he heads to Los Angeles for chilled bread pudding, Korean shaved ice and an especially yummy chocolate chip cookie.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Lupo tries to tell Zoe what happened with Zane on Eureka (8PM, Syfy);
– It’s down to 11 on Hell’s Kitchen (8PM, Fox);
– Adrian decides she wants Ricky, not Ben, back on Secret Life of the American Teenager (8PM, ABC Family);
– Holly J’s health woes lead her to seek a kidney donor on Degrassi (9PM, TeenNick);
– On tonight’s four-episode marathon of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (9PM, Comedy Central), episodes include the two-part “Mac & Charlie Die,” in which the fellas fake their death when they think Mac’s dad is going to kill them;
– On the series premiere of Tia & Tamera (9PM, Style), twin actresses Tia and Tamera Mowry deal with a wedding and a first pregnancy;
– Rosen’s team officially joins the Defense Criminal Investigation Service and is assigned to investigate a series of deaths at a Pennsylvania high school on Alphas (10PM, SYFY);
– A piece of Abraham Lincoln‘s tomb and a cool Wurlitzer jukebox are among the items brought to the store on Pawn Star$ (10 and 10:30PM, History);
– On Rizzoli & Isles (10PM, TBS), Jane’s brother returns home after his jail stint;
– Adam interferes with Andrea’s date on The Big C (10:30PM, Showtime).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): J.B. Smoove and Piers Morgan;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Mark Adams;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Nassir Ghaemi;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Jason Bateman and Amy Sedaris (REPEAT);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Gordon Ramsay and Panic! at the Disco;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Joe Jonas;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Aziz Ansari;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Rudy Giuliani and Adam Ferrara;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Don Cheadle (REPEAT);
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Bill Carter (REPEAT).

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• Filed in Documentary, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Late Night, Weeds
• Tags: Bachelor Pad, Basketball Wives, Sugar High, Superheroes documentary, The A-List: New York, The Closer, Warehouse 13, Weeds

(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM | HBO
There’s Something Wrong with Aunt Diane – Emmy-winning, Oscar-nominated documentarian Liz Garbus directed this documentary about the headlines-grabbing July 2009 tragic car crash in which a woman named Diane Schuler drove the wrong way on the Taconic State Parkway in New York, colliding with an oncoming vehicle and killing her daughter, three nieces, everyone in the other car and herself. The crushing case continues to be a nightmare for the survivors and family members left behind, including the loves ones of the victims in the other car, as well as Schuler’s son, who is still dealing with the injuries he received in the crash, and Schuler’s husband, who has to live with the fact that an autopsy revealed his late wife has a blood-alcohol content of more than twice the legal limit.

The film is the latest entry in HBO’s fantastic Documentary Films Summer Series, which has unspooled a fascinating new documentary each Monday night this summer, and continues through August 15.

9PM | TNT
The Closer – Flynn and Provenza try to make some extra cash serving court papers for an attorney … but moments after they deliver the documents, the recipient is murdered.

9PM | SYFY
Warehouse 13 – Pete and Myka end up in bed thanks to a mystery, while Dr. Vanessa Calder (guest star Lindsay Wagner, who will cross over to an episode of Alphas next month) returns to work on a case with Artie.

10PM | NETWORK – 2ND SEASON PREMIERE
The A-List: New York – The boys are back! Season one was the ultimate in guilty pleasure viewing, and considering that the premiere includes more gossip about Reichen and Rodiney and Reichen’s new Internet business, there’s no reason to think season two will be any different.

10PM | SYFY
Alphas – The team moves to new offices after the attack on Rosen (David Strathairn), while riots break out on the east coast, apparently linked to a teen who has run away from home.

10PM | BRAVO
Real Housewives of New York City Reunion, Part 1 – Andy Cohen has hinted that the reunion gets very heated, with Ramona (no surprise) being at the center of several blowouts amongst the women. Jill apparently gets into with both Ramona and Alex, and, given her behavior all season, I’m betting there are going to be even fewer Team Jill members after this one.

10PM | SHOWTIME
Weeds – Shane decides to take Nancy’s advice and enroll in college course, while Nancy’s attorney helps her make her way to California, where she tries to get ahead of her sister (guest star Jennifer Jason Leigh) in the custody battle for her son.

10:30PM | SHOWTIME
The Big C – Cathy considers pawning her jewelry because of Paul’s layoff, while bro Sean tests his baby sling for the moms in his ‘hood.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Ashley gets a surprise visitor before she hands out roses to her final two dudes on The Bachelorette (8PM, ABC);
– One of the women gets so fed up with the fighting in Italy that she heads some early on Basketball Wives (8PM, VH1);
– Will Wheaton and Stan Lee guest star on Eureka (8PM, Syfy);
– The top 15 compete on Hell’s Kitchen (8PM, Fox);
– Amy tries to help Ricky get into college on Secret Life of the American Teenager (8PM, ABC Family);
– On Cake Boss (9PM, TLC), Buddy builds a camping-themed cake that includes real fire to roast marshmallows;
– Competition turns ugly when Dave and Adam both go after a position on the school’s airwaves on Degrassi (9PM, TeenNick);
– How I Made My Millions (9PM, CNBC) tells the stories of a woman who makes and sells jewelry boxes on QVC and the founders of Firehouse Subs;
– The weekly four-episode It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia marathon on Comedy Central (9PM) includes “The Gang Gets Whacked” and “The Gang Dances Their Asses Off”;
– Charo guest stars on RuPaul’s Drag U (9PM, Logo);
– On Behind Mansion Walls (10PM, ID), an ongoing family feud ends badly;
– On the 1st season finale of Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition (10, ABC), a mom who weighs 445 pounds tries to lose weight to be there for her sick daughter;
– A Civil War musket and a cool 1950s pedal car toy are among the items brought to Rick and company on Pawn Star$ (10 and 10:30PM, History);
– Boston Fleet Week brings murder and Frosts dad (guest star Ernie Hudson) on Rizzoli & Isles (10PM, TNT).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): H. Jon Benjamin, Emma Stone and K.T. Tunstall;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Neil Patrick Harris;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Brian Cox;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Brian Williams and Tim Robbins & the Rogues Gallery Band;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Jessica Alba;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Mark-Paul Gosselaar;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Jon Favreau;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Don Cheadle and Zach Braff;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Don Rickles and Matt Smith;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Rob Riggle (REPEAT).

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• Filed in Documentary, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Late Night, Real Housewives, TV Picks, Weeds
• Tags: Alphas, Real Housewives of New York City reunion, The A-List New York season 2, The Big C, The Closer, There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane, Warehouse 13, Weeds

(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM | TEENNICK – 11TH SEASON PREMIERE
Degrassi: Now or Never – The classic teen series gets all telenovela-y again, as tonight’s premiere kicks off seven weeks in which a new episode airs each night, Monday thru Thursday. Tonight, Sav is crushing on a new girl, who he runs into in a surprising way at the big Keke Palmer concert that opens the seven-week run. Elsewhere, Drew and Bianca worry about the return of her ex, and Fiona has a thang for a model in Holly J’s class. And those rumors about something tragic occurring this season? All true. As always, Degrassi … it goes there.

8PM | FOX – 9TH SEASON PREMIERE
Hell’s Kitchen – One contestant ends up in the hospital and another trio is deemed, by Gordon Ramsay, “the three stooges” as 18 new cheftestants try to win a head chef gig, this season at BLT Steak in New York City.

8PM | LIFETIME
Magic Beyond Words: The J.K. Rowling Story – Any Harry Potter fan worth his or her Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans knows the backstory of Potter author Rowling’s welfare days, but this sweet little biopic, with Poppy Montgomery as Rowling, is still worth a view in honor of last week’s release of the final Potter flick.

9PM | TLC
Cake Boss – Buddy bakes a giant cheeseburger cake for National Hamburger Month, which leads to a burger-eating contest with the staff. Sounds like a White Castle contest I regrettably witnessed in college. White Castle + drunken 20-year-olds + a bet = Gore on that level of that episode of The Walking Dead where the zombies noshed on the horse.

9PM | TNT
The Closer – Capt. Raydor (Mary McDonnell) gets extra snoopy into Brenda’s department, just as the police department undergoes some major reorgs.

9PM | COMEDY CENTRAL
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia – Tonight’s four-episode marathon includes the very un-PC (which is probably a redundant statement where any Sunny ep is concerned), but hilarious “Sweet Dee’s Dating a Retarded Person,” in which no one’s sure about the mental capabilities of Dee’s new boyfriend, rapper Lil’ Kev.

9PM | SYFY
Warehouse 13 – Pete and Myka investigate the sudden memory losses of witnesses in a murder trial. Maybe they ran out of their gingko biloba supply.

10PM | SYFY
Alphas – Okay, they’re Alphas. But now, they have to learn to balance their regular lives with their not-so-regular skills.

10PM | SHOWTIME
Weeds – While Nancy tries to land a job at Doug’s new office, Silas tries to talk his mom into a new partnership.

10:30PM | SHOWTIME
The Big C – Hugh Dancy guest stars as a fellow patient Cathy meets on the first day of the clinical trials, while Sean frets his house is haunted and Adam gets into a throwdown at school.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Ashley goes on home visits with her final four picks, including one who ‘fesses up that he’s not ready to get engaged yet, on The Bachelorette (8PM, ABC);
– Jen and Evelyn‘s friendship is threatened when Evelyn confronts Jen about unflattering comments Jen made in a radio interview, on Basketball Wives (8PM, VH1);
– Carter plays babysitter to Allison’s kids when she goes out of town for a medical conference on Eureka (8PM, Syfy);
– On The Secret Life of the American Teenager (8PM, ABC Family), Adrian returns to school and walks head-on into a confrontation with Ben;
– The top 11 compete on Masterchef (9PM, Fox);
– Molly Ringwald and Lady Bunny guest on RuPaul’s Drag U (9PM, Logo);
– A 456-pound nurse tries to lose half her body weight in a year on Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition (10PM, ABC);
– Among the goodies coming into the shop on tonight’s back-to-back Pawn Star$ (10 and 10:30PM, History): a Godfather script signed by Al Pacino and a motorcycle once owned by Steve McQueen;
– On Rizzoli & Isles (10PM, TNT), Jane and Maura investigate the murder of a pregnant surrogate mother.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Bryan Cranston;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Daniel Radcliffe;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): John Prendergast;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Bono and The Edge;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Neil Patrick Harris;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Piers Morgan;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Aaron Paul and Roseanne;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Mila Kunis;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Elizabeth Banks;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Alex Prager.

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• Filed in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Late Night, TV Picks, Weeds
• Tags: Alphas, Cake Boss, Degrassi season 11, Hell's Kitchen season 9, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Magic Beyond Words: The J.K. Rowling Story, The Bachelorette, The Big C, The Closer, Warehouse 13, Weeds