(ALL TIMES ET)

8PM | ABC
Wipeout – Is this my lead Potts Pick today just because I wanted to run a giant photo of the Big Red Balls? Yup.

8PM | CARTOON NETWORK
The Looney Tunes Show – In a movie-within-the-show, The Foghorn Leghorn Story is told, and Daffy plays Foghorn

8PM | ABC FAMILY
Pretty Little Liars – Aria takes a pottery class that brings her closer to Ezra. And Jenna.

9PM | TNT
Memphis Beat – Dwight tries to help a guy find his MIA daughter, but he’s afraid the woman is the victim of a nasty crime.

9PM | NBC
The Voice – It’s the final round of live competition, leading into tomorrow night’s season finale and the revelation of The Voice.

9PM | USA
White Collar – When a Detroit mobster comes to town looking for Mozzie, Peter and Neal help The Mozz pull off an old scam to trip the mob dude up, lest a gangster war break out.

10PM | MTV
16 & Pregnant: Life After Labor 4 – Dr. Drew hosts the reunion special, which updates us on the stories of the season three teen moms and their offspring.

10PM | FOOD NETWORK
Chopped – The cheftestants have to use cookie dough in their desserts. Yeah, yeah, that sounds obvious and easy, which almost certainly means it won’t be.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– America’s Got Talent (8PM, NBC) auditions continue in New York City;
– Four contestants compete to make cupcakes for a party celebrating the first man in space on Cupcake Wars (8PM, Food Network);
– The top 14 compete on MasterChef (8PM, Fox);
– An Olympic torch is up for sale on Hardcore Pawn (9PM, truTV);
– On Covert Affairs (10PM, USA), Annie and a fellow spy are the targets of an assassin in Argentina;
– On HawthoRNe (10PM, TNT), Bill Engvall guest stars as a hospital internal affairs investigator;
– Money and prosperity influence How the States Got Their Shapes in tonight’s episode (10PM, History);
– On Love/Lust (10PM, Sundance), vampires and zombies are the topic;
– A farting kiddie gets Web Redemption on Tosh.O (10PM, Comedy Central).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Elijah Wood;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Louis C.K.;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Alexandra Pelosi;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Tom Hanks;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Scotty McCreery, Blake Lively and Blake Shelton (REPEAT);
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Andy Richter;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Jason Bateman;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Larry King and My Morning Jacket (REPEAT);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Neil Gaiman and Paris Hilton;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Adam Blackstone (REPEAT).

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• Filed in Cartoons, Late Night, TV Picks
• Tags: 16 & Pregnant: Life After Labor 4, Chopped, Memphis Beat, Pretty Little Liars, The Looney Tunes Show, The Voice, White Collar, Wipeout

(ALL TIMES ET)

9:30PM | NBC
Parks and Recreation – Remember what happened the last time Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) and his ex-wife Tammy (guest star Megan Mullally, Offerman’s real-life wife) got together? Insanity ensued, which is why Tammy’s return in tonight’s episode is must-see TV. Especially since her return is brought about by Tom (Aziz Ansari), who begins dating Tammy to get back at Ron, who’s dating Tom’s ex-wife Wendy (Jama Williamson). Also, a jail cell is involved, so, again, must-see TV.

8PM | FOX
American Idol – After weeks of those drawn out city auditions, the action moves to Hollywood, where we’ll finally see which wannabes have the chops to make it into the finalist pool.

8PM | CBS
The Big Bang Theory – Leonard, a gigolo … Sheldon, his pimp??! If a wealthy widow (guest star Jessica Walter) who wants to donate big bucks to the university – provided she gets some one-on-one time with Leonard – has anything to say about it.

8PM | NBC
Community – The last time I saw Andy Dick‘s name in the news, he was getting thrown out of an awards show for porn. Tonight, he’s guesting on Community. A step up, to say the least.

8PM | ABC
Wipeout – The Hockey Hottie, Mr. Grinch and Holiday Hams … you guess which ones are contestants and which ones are Wipeout obstacles.

9PM | ABC
Grey’s Anatomy – Papa Grey returns with a stomachache that means he’s rejecting the liver Meredith so thoughtfully gave him. He’s also bringing a young, tattooed girlfriend with him, which means Mer’s gonna have a stomachache, too.

9PM | NBC
The Office – Michael and Holly spend Valentine’s Day together, which gives me more hope that the writers will send Mr. Scott off with the happy ending he deserves. Well, the happy ending for him that the audience deserves, anyway.

10PM | NBC
30 Rock – It’s Valentine’s Day and Carol (guest star Matt Damon) is back, which, in Liz Lemon Land, probably means romantic trauma ahead.

10PM | FX
Archer – Archer may be someone’s babydaddy. His favorite hooker’s babydaddy, actually.

10PM | MTV
Jersey Shore – Ronnie, Sammi fight. Ronnie mad. Ronnie smash!

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Stefan and Elena try to get romantic on a trip to the lake on The Vampire Diaries (8PM, The CW);
– Booth and Sweets have commitment on their minds on Bones (9PM, Fox);
– On Nikita (9PM, The CW), Michael meddles in Alex’s life with Nathan;
– Colleen helps protect U.S. marshals on Police Women of Cincinnati (9PM, TLC);
– Ace and the gang make a Back to the Future cake for Michael J. Fox (!) on Ace of Cakes (10PM, Food Network);
– And rebellious teens visit San Quentin on Beyond Scared Straight (10PM, A&E).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Seth MacFarlane and Brooklyn Decker;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Former RNC chairman Michael Steele (REPEAT);
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Author Michael Lewis (REPEAT);
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Snooki (yes, that one);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Rob Lowe, Amber Riley and Nicki Minaj;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Brad Womack and Taylor Momsen;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Jimmy and Justin Bieber perform their Twitter song;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Jennifer Aniston and Piers Morgan;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Jennifer Beals;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Diplo and Alberta Cross.

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• Filed in 30 Rock, American Idol, The Office, TV Picks
• Tags: 30 Rock, American Idol, Archer, Community, Grey's Anatomy, Jersey Shore, Parks and Recreation, The Big Bang Theory, The Office, Wipeout

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Because the world needs to know how K-Fed, Britney Spears ex Kevin Federline, spends his days, he and his current girlfriend are in talks with VH1 to star in a reality series. The show, which follows the cheesy Chaotic Britney/Kevin UPN series, would also feature Britney/K-Fed offspring Sean and Jaden.

– In Lovefilm.com’s poll of the most addictive TV shows ever, 24 was tops, followed by Lost, Friends, Heroes, The Wire, Doctor Who, CSI, Prison Break, The Sopranos and Sex and the City.

– VH1 is planning another Divas Live concert event, though, as New York mag points out, the network’s list of “divas” is kinda lame: Kelly Clarkson, Adele, Leona Lewis and Miley Cyrus. The first three have great voices and some good tunes, but Hannah Montana?!

– The Dukes of Hazzard and Smallville star John Schneider is coming back to the tube after being killed off on The Secret Life of the American Teenager this season) as the papa of 90210 bad boy Liam.

– More big red balls! ABC has renewed summer hit Wipeout.

– With Lost‘s final season set to unfold next year, ABC is auctioning off props from the show. I really want Hurley’s lottery ticket!

– Sopranos star Jamie-Lynn Sigler, who’s guest starring on Entourage as Turtle’s girlfriend (and who is the real-life girlfriend of Turtle’s portrayer Jerry Ferrara), is joining the cast of Ugly Betty as Daniel’s new assistant.

– Speaking of Entourage, that little jab at Seth Rogen in Sunday night’s episode? Seth Rogen didn’t find it so funny. In fact, he’s calling Entourage creator Doug Ellin a “moron.”

– Kiefer Sutherland is off the hook in the infamous headbutting brouhaha.

– Who married Mike in the Desperate Housewives season finale, Susan or Katherine? These pictures from the set don’t offer any spoilers, since both Teri Hatcher and Dana Delaney are wearing wedding dresses.

– And tonight in primetime:

– President Obama holds a press conference about his health care reform plans (ABC, CBS, NBC, 8PM ET)
– Where’s the world’s largest pub crawl? Find out on Extreme Wild Parties (Travel Channel, 8PM)
– The top eight perform on So You Think You Can Dance (Fox, 8PM)
– The Leverage gang mixes it up with a weasel fight promoter (TNT, 9PM)
– New Wipeout at 9PM (ABC)
– It’s part three of the Torchwood: Children of Earth miniseries on BBC America (9PM)
– Susan Boyle talks about her reality fame on America’s Got Talent (NBC, 9PM)
– It’s the second season premiere of guilty pleasure beauty pageant reality series Toddlers & Tiaras on TLC (10PM)
– Ty has to come up with 100 grand to save Carter on Dark Blue (TNT, 10PM)
– The Top Chef Masters have to whip up something delicious from “mystery box” ingredients (Bravo, 10PM)
– Joey makes it his mission to send Ayiiia packing on Real World: Cancun (MTV, 10PM)
– Radical Hollywood Remedies (E!, 10PM) covers some of celebs’ wackiest health treatments
– It’s Roman vs. rats on Verminators (Discovery, 10PM)
– Michael and Michael Have Issues (10:30PM, Comedy Central) … about their boss’ birthday present

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• Filed in TV News
• Tags: 24 most addictive TV show, 90210, Desperate Housewives wedding, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, John Schneider, K-Fed reality series, Lost props auction, Seth Rogen Entourage, Ugly Betty, VH1 Divas, Wipeout

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– American Idol producers say there was no funny business with those AT&T text-messaging services that gave Kris Allen fans the chance to throw extra votes his way. You buying it? Well, then, read this story, in which one fan says the AT&T set-up helped her cast more than 10,000 votes for Allen. Whuuut?!

– John Lithgow as a serial killer on the new season of Dexter? Brilliant.

– Another surprising bit of casting: Freddie Prinze Jr. will play Davis Cole, the new CTU Field Ops head who wants to be just like Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) on season eight of 24. Not a name that would have popped into my head to play mini-Jack, but 24‘s castings have always been flawless, so I’ll trust that this one will be no exception.

– Clearly, I’m not the only one who finds Wipeout charming. And you have to love any show that puts John “Skunk Boy” Henson back on the tube every week.

– With the Gosselins‘ problems still major tabloid fodder, USA Today has a rundown of some other famous reality TV families, and the one thing that’s true about all of them: Being on TV only seemed to make their problems worse.

– Cindy Brady’s (Susan Olsen) writing a book about the bizarre bit of TV history that was The Brady Bunch Variety Hour.

– Now that the networks’ fall skeds are set, they’ve begun recasting some of their pilots. Sorry to see 24‘s Michelle Dessler (Reiko Aylesworth) out of a job.

– More 24 news: Jack Bauer and Captain Kirk will be presenting an award at Sunday’s live MTV Movie Awards.

– And, this Real Housewives business may quickly spiral out of control. Reportedly also on the list of upcoming spin-offs: Real Housewives of Chicago. Not that there’s anything wrong with that … just that there’s not gonna be much non-Housewives room left on the Bravo schedule soon if they roll out all these rumored spin-offs.

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• Filed in 24, American Idol, Celebreality, Comedy, Drama, TV News
• Tags: 24, American Idol voting scandal, American Idol. Kris Allen, AT&T, Brady Bunch, Bravo, Captain Kirk, Cindy Brady, Dexter, Freddie Prinze Jr., Gosselin, Jack Bauer, John Henson, John Lithgow, Jon & Kate Plus 8, Jon Gosselin, kate Gosselin, Kiefer Sutherland, pilots, Real Housewives, Real Housewives of Chicago, Reality TV families, recasting, Reiko Aylesworth, Susan Olsen, The Brady Bunch Variety Hour, voting, Wipeout

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Did AT&T help Kris Allen win American Idol? Allegedly so.

– Everyone loves a good case of schadenfreude, but it makes you wonder just how insufferable Jon and Kate Gosselin are that no one seems to be coming to their defense these days, don’t it? BTW, nearly 10 million viewers watched the season five premiere of Jon & Kate Plus 8 … again, schadenfreude. I wonder how far that number will drop for next week’s new episode, especially since the premiere made it pretty clear that the Gosselins can barely stand to sit next to each other on a couch.

– As the New York Daily News points out, the Gosselins are hardly the only exploiting their children for reality TV dollars.

– Jessica Simpson just isn’t going to go away, and TV may be helping that.

– Whoa … Is Susan Boyle really a potty mouth?

– If you doubt The Big O’s influence, tune in Thursday night for CNBC’s The Oprah Effect (9PM ET), a special that delves into how just a mention on her show can mean the difference between a business thriving and filing for bankruptcy.

– Hoo-ah! Al Pacino‘s headed to the tube, playing suicide doc Jack Kevorkian in an upcoming HBO movie.

– 24, which begins production on season eight today (yay!), has added another pair of new cast members, including Kissing Jessica Stein star (and girlfriend of Mad Men star Jon Hamm) Jennifer Westfeldt.

– And, there’s plenty of serious TV business to talk about today, but for some comic relief, and just plain old fun summer TV watchin’, you can’t beat tonight’s return of Wipeout (ABC, 8PM ET) and The Big Red Balls.

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• Filed in 24, American Idol, Celebreality, Comedy, Drama, TV News
• Tags: 24, Al Pacino, American Idol, AT&T, big red balls, controversy, Gosselins, HBO, Jack Kevorkian, Jennifer Westfeldt, Jessica Simpson, Jon, Jon & Kate Plus 8, Jon Hamm, Kate, Kris Allen, Mad Men, Oprah, Oprah Winfrey, scandal, Summer TV, Susan Boyle, The Oprah Effect, Wipeout