All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– He’s back: Jay Leno hosts his first Tonight Show since the Conan O’Brien debacle tonight, with guests Jamie Foxx, Brad Paisley and Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn.

– Sorry, Joe Flanigan fans; the star of The Rockford Files remake has been cast, and it’s big-screen vet Dermot Mulroney. Not a name I ever would have thought of for the show, but an interesting choice, no?

– Rumors say Anderson Cooper may be headed to CBS, but his “people” say it’s not true that he’ll replace Katie Couric as the CBS evening news anchor.

– During tonight’s season finale of The Bachelor (8PM ET), ABC will announce the cast of the next Dancing With the Stars season, which premieres on March 22. I may actually have to watch if it’s true that Beverly Hills 90210 diva Shannen Doherty is among the new D-list hoofers.

– Snoop Dogg on One Life to Live, James Franco on General Hospital and now, Julianne Moore may make an appearance on As the World Turns, the show that helped launch her career, before the CBS soap ends next fall.

– The cast of Glee is indeed embarking on that rumored concert tour, with stops in New York, Los Angeles, Chicago and Phoenix.

– The Office funny guy Craig Robinson will be the new host of Last Comic Standing when it returns to NBC this summer.

– Marcia, Marcia, Marcia … because she and Jan, a.k.a. Brady Bunch stars Maureen McCormick and Eve Plumb, are still fighting, a planned Bunch reunion that was scheduled to happen this week is a no-go.

– American Idol season five alum Elliott Yamin – my all-time fave AI contestant – has been updating via Twitter about his experience being trapped in Chile after last Saturday’s earthquake.

– A Lost-themed amusement park attraction? It might actually happen.

– More Lost news: John Locke and creepy Ben as hit men? It’s a brilliant idea that Lost Emmy winner Terry O’Quinn is shopping, a drama about a pair of hit men who live in the suburbs. The show would star O’Quinn and fellow Lostie (and fellow Emmy winner) Michael Emerson, a duo that’s been responsible for a big chunk of Lost‘s most memorable moments in the last few seasons.

– Zooey Deschanel is joining her Bones sister Emily Deschanel as a primetime star. Zooey will star in HBO’s series adaptation of Pamela Des Barres‘ famous band groupie memoir I’m With the Band.

– The new Doctor Who – with Matt Smith as the new Doctor – will debut on BBC America on April 17.

– Will Johnny Depp make a cameo in the upcoming 21 Jump Street movie? He tells Entertainment Weekly he hopes to, which just adds some points to his already full cup o’ coolness.

– Saturday Night Live hosts and musical guests for March: Zach Galifianakis and Vampire Weekend on March 6, and Jude Law and Pearl Jam on March 13.

– George Lopez is starring in a big-screen, live-action/CGI SpeedyGonzalez movie , and he says it won’t feature the stereotype-projecting Speedy of the original 1950s cartoons.

– And, though viewers seem to love the guilty pleasure aspects of kiddie beauty pageant shows like Little Miss Perfect and Toddlers & Tiaras, not so much for grown-up beauty contests: the Miss America pageant has yet again found itself homeless, as TLC has dropped the annual event from its primetime plans.

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• Filed in Boob Tube to Big Screen, Lost, Saturday Night Live, TV News
• Tags: Glee concert tour, Johnny Depp 21 Jump Street movie, Leno returning to Tonight Show, Pearl Jam Saturday Night Live, Rockford Files Dermot Mulroney, Zach Galifianakis Saturday Night Live

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– The Lost season premiere … Smoke Monster … Locke is Jacob is Smoke Monster? … crazy stuff. Good stuff, but crazy stuff. Check out EW.com’s interview with producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse for a tiny bit of scoop on the final season’s storyline. And, if you want to study the two-hour premiere, it’s on Hulu.com.

– It’s Jon Stewart vs. Bill O’Reilly on The O’Reilly Factor, tonight and Thursday night (8PM ET, Fox News).

– Among CBS’ potential new fall 2010-11 series: A medical drama from ER producer John Wells and a New York City cop drama from The Sopranos producers Mitchell Burgess and Robin Green.

– Sounds like The Bachelor finalist Vienna may be even more rotten than most viewers – but sadly, not Jake – think she is.

– Ferris Bueller’s hitting primetime! Matthew Broderick has signed on to star in his first TV series, a Lorne Michael-produced NBC sitcom called Beach Lane. Broderick, a.k.a. as Mr. Sarah Jessica Parker, will play a celebrity author who’s hired to run a struggling Hamptons newspaper.

PS – It didn’t star Broderick, but remember the short-lived TV series adaptation of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off? It starred Charlie Schlatter as Ferris, and a pre-Friends, pre-Leprechaun Jennifer Aniston as his sister Jeannie. Check out a clip here.

– Straight from the actor’s Twitter feed: Zach Galifianakis will host Saturday Night Live on March 6. Meanwhile, Jennifer Lopez will be host and musical guest for the Feb. 27 show.

– Jersey Shore star Mike Sorrentino wants to trademark the self-given nickname he tries to perpetuate for his abs, a.k.a. The Situation.

– Could The View be moving to afternoons when Oprah packs up her show? Maybe, though seems like a bad idea to mess with a show that’s working just fine, ratings-wise.

– And speaking of The Big O, she’ll star in her own, and OWN, reality series next January. When OWN, the Oprah Winfrey Network, debuts on cable in Jan. 2011, Oprah will star in Behind the Scenes: Oprah’s 25th Season, a weekly series that will document the making-of her last season of her syndicated talk show.

– Sex and the City‘s Darren Star will direct an HBO biopic movie about beauty queen/orange juice pitchwoman/anti-gay activist Anita Bryant.

– CBS is sold out on Super Bowl ads, and the highest-priced spots reportedly went for more than $3 million each.

– Can’t wait to see the new comics-themed stamps the U.S. Postal Service will release this summer, which includes stamp homages to Dennis the Menace, Garfield, Beetle Bailey, Archie and one of my all-time faves, Calvin and Hobbes. By the way, The Cleveland Plain Dealer just landed an interview with reclusive Calvin creator Bill Watterson, the artist’s first interview in more than 20 years.

– It’s all about the Super Bowl this weekend, but next weekend is all about the NBA All-Star Game in Texas, where Alicia Keys, Shakira and Usher will be among the performers.

– And tonight in primetime: CBS counts down the best Super Bowl ads in recent years in its Super Bowl’s Greatest Commercials special (8PM, CBS); James Van Der Beek joins the cast of Mercy (8PM, NBC) as a cocky new doc who ruffles feathers; new Human Target at 8PM (Fox); Mike gets a new job delivering snack cakes on The Middle (8:30PM, ABC); Minnie Driver guests on a new Modern Family (9PM, ABC), which finds Mitchell regretting his decision to give Gloria legal advice; The Man vs. Food Live special (9PM, Travel Channel) finds Adam in Miami and looking to embark on some major food challenges; Launch My Line picks a winner in the season one finale (9PM, Bravo); New Cougar Town at 9:30PM (ABC); It’s the third season premiere of Shear Genius (10PM, Bravo), with new host Camila Alves (a.k.a. Matthew McConaughey‘s babymama); Steven Seagal Lawman wraps its series run on A&E at 10PM; Sean and Christian freak out when Escobar Gallardo’s daughter shows up and has lots of questions about her big bad (and sleeping with the alligators) daddy on Nip/Tuck (10PM, FX); Luke Perry guests as a faux psychic on Leverage (10PM, TNT); More fake psychic drama: Gus has a girlfriend, and Shawn suspects there’s more to her than Gus knows on a new Psych (10PM, USA); Ashley wigs during a play fight with Andrew on The Real World (10PM, MTV); The classmates try to convince Antanus to propose to his longtime girlfriend on High School Reunion (10PM, TV Land); and Vanessa Williams‘ real-life brother, actor Chris Williams, plays a drag queen version of Wilhelmina on Ugly Betty (10PM, ABC).

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• Tags: Anita Bryant, James Van Der Beek Mercy, Jon Stewart Bill O'Reilly, Lost season 6, Smoke Monster Locke, The Situation trademark, Zach Galifianakis Saturday Night Live