All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Ellen DeGeneres‘ new gig as American Idol judge didn’t earn her daytime talk show any goodwill from record labels, who are suing her producers for using 1,000 songs without permission during the segments where she dances with the audience.

– ER alum Maura Tierney has quit her role in the NBC dramedy Parenthood, to focus fully on her breast cancer treatment.

– News guy John Stossel is leaving ABC, where he’s known for his consumer reports on 20/20, and going to work for Fox News and Fox Business.

– Babs Streisand is making a rare TV appearance to promote her new album; she’ll appear on BBCA’s Friday Night with Jonathan Ross on Oct. 2.

– Ethan Hawke and William Hurt are starring in a TV movie version of Moby Dick.

– A Saturday Night Live rep has denied the rumor that comedian Casey Wilson was let go before the new season because she didn’t lose weight during the show’s summer break.

– More rumor control: Rosie O’Donnell and Star Jones are not starring together in a reality TV show. Phew. Because that’s just a little more cuckoo than any one show could contain.

– The Discovery Channel has announced plans for an awesome five-year, 60-episode series called Curiosity: The Questions of Our Life, which will examine, as the title says, the big questions in life, like “Are we alone in the universe?” and queries about religion and health.

– And this weekend in primetime:

FRIDAY
– Fox has a new episode of Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? (8PM ET)
– Jay Mohr guests on Monk (9PM, USA)
– New season of Say Yes to the Dress on TLC (9PM)
– If you missed the Glee season premiere on Wednesday (or just want to watch it again), Fox repeats it at 9PM
– Taggart’s back on Eureka (9PM, SyFy)
– Ricky Gervais helps kick off a new season of Friday Night with Jonathan Ross on BBC America (9PM)
– Cesar tries to make peace with three fighting puppies on Dog Whisperer (9PM, NGC)
– The Jay-Z: Live From MSG concert on FUSE (9PM) benefits 9/11 charities
– Barbara Walters interviews LaToya Jackson on 20/20 (10PM, ABC)
– Hotel Ground Zero unfolds the 9/11 story of the Marriott hotel that stands across the street from the World Trade Center site
– On a new Psych (10PM, USA), Shawn thinks cops are being targeted by a killer
– Chefs vs. City (10PM, Food Network) head to Hollywood
– And Kathy Griffin in among the guests on Real Time with Bill Maher (10PM, HBO)

SATURDAY
– Cops premieres its 22nd season (8PM, Fox)
– It’s the third season premiere of Robin Hood on BBCA (9PM)
– New season of The Locator on WE at 9PM
– On the series premiere of WE’s reality series Adoption Diaries (10PM), a woman who was adopted herself puts her baby up for adoption

SUNDAY
– Fox airs the King of the Hill series finale at 8PM
– It’s the Great American Pie Festival on Food Network (8PM)
– Russell Brand returns as host of the MTV Video Music Awards (9PM)
– A pair of lobbyists try to get backing for a BBQ sauce business on Shark Tank (9PM, ABC)
– New Drop Dead Diva on Lifetime (9PM)
– It’s the second season finale of True Blood on HBO (9PM)
– Bridezillas drama at 9PM (WE)
– NGC’s special The Girl Who Cries Blood (9PM) is about just what the title says
– First season finale of Hung on HBO (10PM)
– There Goes the Neighborhood wraps its first season on CBS (10PM)
– Season finale of HGTV Design Star on HGTV at 10PM
– New Defying Gravity on ABC (10PM)
– Kourtney‘s ex visits on Kourtney and Khloe (10PM, E!)
– The guys purchase a plane on Pawn Stars (10PM, History Channel)
– Don and Betty fret about Sally on Mad Men (10PM, AMC)
– It’s the season two finale of Amazing Wedding Cakes on WE (10PM)
– Roxy makes a decision about Trevor on Army Wives (Lifetime, 10PM)
– And Drama tries to find Vince’s stalker on Entourage (10:30PM, HBO)