All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Jennifer Lopez as a lunch lady? Yep, on an upcoming episode of Glee … as if we needed another reason to love that show.

– For those who wonder why so much anger is directed at alleged nice guy Jay Leno, check out a video clip in TV critic Aaron Barnhart‘s column. It shows Leno, back in 2004, explaining why he would be passing the Tonight Show baton to Conan O’Brien in 2009, and among the reasons was that he didn’t think anyone but Johnny Carson was capable of hosting the show in after the age of 60. How old’s Leno, you ask? He’ll be 60 in April. He also talks in the clip about not wanting there to be a nasty fight over The Tonight Show, as there was the last time NBC mishandled the late-night situation, with Leno and David Letterman.

– Justin Timberlake, Bono, Alicia Keys and Sting are among the celebs who are confirmed to perform on the George Clooney-hosted telethon to raise money for Haitian earthquake relief charities. The telethon will now air commercial-free on nearly a dozen networks Friday night (8PM ET).

– Perez Hilton is helping American Idol producer Simon Fuller find the next big boy band. Anyone else feel like it’s 1999 again?

– Will Starz be the next HBO? The pay cable network is being steered by former HBO honcho Chris Albrecht, who’s committed to bring top talent to his new home. Starz’ next big original series, Spartacus, premieres this week, and, ohmy, it’s naughty.

– The Teapot Dome scandal didn’t sound nearly as interesting in junior high American history class as it does in AMC’s upcoming miniseries.

– EW.com reports Moonlight and Three Rivers star Alex O’Loughlin is a potential lead for CBS’ upcoming remake of Hawaii Five-O. Meh … uninspiring choice.

– Creepy news about Teen Mom star Farrah, whose mother was arrested on suspicion of assault against her single mom daughter. The news shouldn’t come as a total surprise to viewers who watched the family on 16 and Pregnant, where Farrah’s mom was seen hitting her while they were in a car together.

– If you don’t want to know who dies in the Damages season three premiere (Jan. 25, 10PM ET, FX), don’t click here. Meanwhile, as one major cast member departs, The Sopranos star Dominic Chianese joins the show for several episodes.

– TNT has renewed Ray Romano/Scott Bakula/Andre Braugher drama Men of a Certain Age for a second season.