All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Will Jack Bauer be the first person to get his world-saving mitts on the iPad? Seems only fitting.

– J-WOWW and Ronnie have apparently caved, but TMZ.com reports that the rest of the Jersey Shore cast continues to hold out for more than $10,000 an episode to return for the guilty pleasure hit’s second season on MTV. I can see Snooki and The Situation getting more cash — love ’em or hate ’em, they’re the most outrageous buzzmakers on the show — but the others really should take the money and the perks they’re getting from being on the show and run.

– It looks like the first Bachelor wedding is finally going to happen, and, of course, it’s going to be broadcast on TV. Jason Mesnick, who was a reject on The Bachelorette and then became the first single dad Bachelor the next season, will marry Molly Malaney (the bachelorette he chose after dumping first fiancée Melissa Rycroft), and ABC will cover the wedding planning, bachelor party and ceremony in the two-hour March 8 special The Bachelor: Jason and Molly’s Wedding.

– Should Arrested Development producer Ron Howard‘s new Fox comedy pilot be called The Office: IRS? That’s where the show is set, in a regional office of the Internal Revenue Service. Certainly seems rife with comedic possibilities …

– Joe Dirt, the cartoon? Yep.

– Weird Al Yankovic is creating a live-action series for Cartoon Network.

– All those timeslot changes have spelled doom for Ugly Betty, which will end its run on ABC this spring.

– Among the new shows we may see on The CW next fall: another remake/update of La Femme Nikita and The Wyoming Project, a drama about a family who live on a horse ranch. Wyoming is being written by Gilmore Girls creator Amy Sherman-Palladino and her hubby Dan Palladino.

– Is this the big Grammy-opening duet CBS keeps touting in its commercials for this Sunday’s awards show? Mary J. Blige and Andrea Bocelli will celebrate the 40th anniversary of Simon and Garfunkel‘s “Bridge Over Troubled Water” with a joint performance of the song. The Blige/Bocelli duet will be available for download on iTunes the next day, with proceeds going to Haiti relief efforts.

– It’s guest stars a-go-go coming up in primetime: Mad Men‘s Jon Hamm, Jon Bon Jovi, Dean Winters and Jason Sudekis all head back to 30 Rock to mess with Liz Lemon’s love life, while J. Lo will hang with NPH as Jennifer Lopez guests on How I Met Your Mother in March.

– SyFy will celebrate the launch of Atari’s Star Trek: Online videogame with all-day marathons of Star Trek: Enterprise (Feb. 1, 8AM-5PM) and Star Trek: The Next Generation (Feb. 2, 8AM-9PM).

– Oscar winner Forest Whitaker is in talks to star in a Criminal Minds spin-off.

– And here are two great ideas: Lady Gaga as a judge on Simon Cowell‘s upcoming The X Factor, and Katy Perry as a permanent judge (bye bye, Kara!) on American Idol.