(ALL TIMES ET)

1AM (TUESDAY) | TV LAND
Roseanne Halloween – It’s a marathon of every Roseanne Halloween episodes, kicking off with the 1991 episode that included a guest appearance by George Clooney‘s Booker.

8PM | VH1
Basketball Wives – The ladies all head to Hawaii for some rest and relaxation, but it all hits the fan when they start talking and realizing the reason they’re always fighting is because Jackie is always stirring the pot.

8PM | CBS
How I Met Your Mother – Ted finally reunites with The Slutty Pumpkin, who looks a lot like Katie Holmes. Because she is.

9PM | BRAVO
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – Yep, they’re showing the late Russell Armstrong, as he threatens to sue one of his castmates. Is this the episode that makes you stop watching?

10PM | CBS
Hawaii Five-0 – A drifter who puts a curse on Danny looks a lot like Robert “Freddy Krueger” Englund. Because he is.

10PM | NBC – SERIES PREMIERE
Rock Center with Brian Williams – Ted Koppel and Harry Smith are among Williams’ cohorts in this new newsmagazine, the network’s first in 20 years. One of the first reports is on a U.S. town that has a negative unemployment rate.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– It’s a Halloween-themed dance night on Dancing With the Stars (8:30PM, ABC);
– A CEO becomes sick just after deciding to move his company to China on House (9PM, Fox);
– Trick? Nah, it’s definitely a treat when Comedy Central airs “The Nightman Cometh” as part of its four-episode marathon of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (9PM);
– On Enlightened (9:30PM, HBO), Amy convinces Levi to go away with her for the weekend, but she’s disappointed when neither of them can leave the past behind;
– On Castle (10PM, ABC), Beckett has to rescue Castle and his mommy after they’re taken hostage in a bank robbery.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Jimmy Fallon;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Mindy Kaling;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Neil MacGregor;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Jesse Eisenberg;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Justin Bieber;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Pee-wee  Herman;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Heidi Klum;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Zooey Deschanel;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Thievery Corporation (REPEAT).

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• Filed in Holiday Programming, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Late Night, Real Housewives, TV Picks
• Tags: HIMYM Slutty Pumpkin, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Russell Armstrong, Roseanne Halloween

Make that, the best seat in my apartment, which is where these pics of last night’s Macy’s fireworks show were taken. Sure, living in a New York City apartment means my kitchen is probably smaller than your bathroom, my bathroom is probably smaller than your closet and my home office triples as an office/living room/dining room. Still, being able to look out the bedroom window and see this … worth it.

• 1 Comment
• Filed in Holiday Programming
• Tags: July 4th, Macy's fireworks 2011

You want marathons? TVScreener.com‘s  got your marathons right here, bub.

FRIDAY | JULY 1
A&E (5-11PM): Criminal Minds
ANIMAL PLANET (8PM-6AM SAT): Whale Wars
BBC AMERICA (8AM-7AM SAT): Star Trek: The Next Generation
BIO (8PM-5AM SAT): Biography
COMEDY CENTRAL (9PM-5AM SAT): 50 Star Stand-up Weekend (Hosted by Horrible Bosses stars Jason Bateman, Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis; stand-up shows include Daniel Tosh, Christopher Titus, Dave Chappelle, Kevin Hart, Dane Cook and Whitney Cummings)
DISCOVERY FIT & HEALTH (7AM-NOON): Addicted
FOOD NETWORK (7-10PM): Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives
FUSE (6AM-6AM SAT): 100 Sexiest Videos of All Time
GMC (NOON-9PM): The Waltons
ID (1-8PM): FBI: Criminal Pursuit
LOGO (NOON-4PM): RuPaul’s Drag U
MSNBC (10PM-5AM SAT): Lockup
MTV2 (NOON-8PM): Martin
SCIENCE (9AM-3PM): How It’s Made
SLEUTH (9AM-2PM): Law & Order: Criminal Intent
SLEUTH (2-6PM): NCIS
SYFY (8AM-8PM): Warehouse 13
SYFY (11PM-6AM SAT): Eureka
TV ONE (8PM-2AM SAT): Pam Grier Movie Marathon (Foxy Brown; Sheba, Baby; Coffy)
VH1 (1:30-6:30PM): Basketball Wives
WE (8PM-1AM SAT): Frasier

SATURDAY | JULY 2
A&E (1PM-4AM SUN): The First 48
BBC AMERICA (7AM-9PM): Battlestar Galactica
CARTOON NETWORK (11:30AM-9PM): Looney Tunes Movie & TV Marathon (Space Jam; The Looney Tunes Show; Back in Action)
CHILLER (8PM-2AM): Fear Factor
COMEDY CENTRAL (8AM-5AM SUN): 50 Star Stand-up Weekend (Hosted by Horrible Bosses stars Jason Bateman, Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis; stand-up shows include Chelsea Peretti, Natasha Leggero, Jessi Klein, Aisha Tyler, Aziz Ansari, Steve Byrne, Norm Macdonald, Sinbad, Kevin James, Jim Gaffigan, Billy Gardell, Nick Swardson, Gabriel Iglesias, Daniel Tosh, Kevin Hart, Dane Cook, Katt Williams, Eddie Griffin, Dave Chappelle and Patrice O’Neal)
DISNEY (4-9:45PM): High School Musical (all three movies)
E! (NOON-8PM): The Voice
GMC (2-5PM): 227
HISTORY (7AM-8PM): Ax Men
HISTORY (8PM-4AM SUN): How the States Got Their Shapes
ID (7PM-6AM SUN): Nightmare Next Door
MSNBC (NOON-7AM SUN): Lockup
MTV (4PM-12:30AM SUN): Teen Mom
MTV2 (1-6AM): In Living Color
OVATION (NOON-8PM): Fame
OXYGEN (2-10PM): Snapped
PLANET GREEN (6PM-6AM SUN): Storm Chasers
SCIENCE (6AM-3PM): Factory Made
SLEUTH (6AM-6AM SUN): James Bond Movie Marathon (Tomorrow Never Dies; Moonraker; Diamonds Are Forever; Octopussy; Tomorrow Never Dies; Live and Let Die; Die Another Day; Man With the Golden Gun; Never Say Never Again)
TLC (NOON-7PM): My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding
TRAVEL (9AM-NOON): Man v. Food
TRAVEL (NOON-4PM): All-American Festivals (Marshmallow Festival; Blueberry Festival; Hot Dog Festival; Hamburger Festival; Big Pig Jig Cook Off; Guitarbeque; Star of Texas BBQ)
TRAVEL (9PM-4AM SUN): Ghost Adventures
TV GUIDE (11PM-2AM SUN): Weeds
TV ONE (NOON-8PM): Martin
USA (3-11PM): NCIS
VH1 (2PM-MIDNIGHT): Mob Wives
WE (10AM-6PM): Ghost Whisperer

SUNDAY | JULY 3
A&E (NOON-5PM): The Glades
ABC FAMILY (7AM-2:30PM): Back to the Future (all three movies)
ANIMAL PLANET (7PM-6AM MON): Finding Bigfoot
BBC AMERICA (4:30-10PM): Top Gear
BET (1-11PM): Awards Shows Marathon (2009 BET Awards; 2010 BET Awards; 2010 Soul Train Awards)
BIO (6PM-4AM MON): I Survived
BRAVO (4:30PM-1AM MON): Real Housewives of New Jersey and Real Housewives of New York City
CARTOON NETWORK (11:30AM-9PM): Looney Tunes Movie & TV Marathon (The Looney Tunes Show; Space Jam; Back in Action)
CHILLER (MIDNIGHT-6AM MON): Buffy the Vampire Slayer
COMEDY CENTRAL (8AM-5AM MON): 50 Star Stand-up Weekend (Hosted by Horrible Bosses stars Jason Bateman, Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis; stand-up shows include Stephen Lynch, Kurt Metzger, Bill Engvall, Jim Gaffigan, Nick Kroll, Anjelah Johnson, Patrice O’Neal, George Lopez, Wyatt Cenac, Gabriel Iglesias, Kevin James, Jeff Dunham, Ron White, Christopher Titus, Louis C.K., Bo Burnham, Lisa Lampanelli and Wanda Sykes)
DISCOVERY (10AM-3AM MON): Deadliest Catch
DISCOVERY FIT & HEALTH (NOON-5PM): World’s Worst Teens
HALLMARK (11AM-1AM MON): I Love Lucy
HALLMARK MOVIE CHANNEL (8PM-6AM TUES): Murder, She Wrote
HISTORY (8AM-8PM): Pawn Stars
IFC (11:45AM-3:15PM): Arrested Development
LIFETIME (10AM-10PM): Drop Dead Diva
LOGO (3-10PM): Noah’s Arc
MSNBC (NOON-9PM): Caught on Camera
MTV (8AM-9PM): Teen Mom
NAT GEO (NOON-6PM): Ultimate Factories (Harley-Davidson; Peterbilt; Dodge Viper; Dodge Challenger; Camaro; Corvette)
NAT GEO WILD (8PM-2AM MON): Expedition Wild
OXYGEN (8AM-7PM): America’s Next Top Model
SLEUTH (6AM-6AM SUN): James Bond Movie Marathon (On Her Majesty’s Secret Service; The Spy Who Loved Me; A View to a Kill; Man With the Golden Gun; Die Another Day; Casino Royale; License to Kill; A View to a Kill)
SOAPNET (8AM-NOON): Beverly Hills 90210
STYLE (8PM-1AM MON): Jerseylicious
SYFY (9AM-6AM MON): The Twilight Zone
TLC (9AM-1PM): Say Yes to the Dress
TRUTV (NOON-7PM): World’s Dumbest
USA (2-11PM): Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
WE (6-10PM): Bridezillas

MONDAY | JULY 4
A&E (7AM-10PM): Hoarders
ABC FAMILY (3-7PM): Switched at Birth
AMC (3PM-3AM): Rocky Movie Marathon (all five movies)
ANIMAL PLANET (2-7PM): Finding Bigfoot
BRAVO (10AM-10PM): Real Housewives of New York City
CHILLER (11AM-6AM TUES): Harper’s Island
COMEDY CENTRAL (9PM-MIDNIGHT): It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
COOKING CHANNEL (2-8PM): Eat Street
DISCOVERY (9AM-3AM TUES): American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior
DISCOVERY FIT & HEALTH (7AM-5PM): Trauma: Life in the ER
FOOD NETWORK (10AM-4PM): Paula’s Home Cooking
HALLMARK (3PM-2AM TUES): The Golden Girls
HGTV (6:30-11AM): Cash & Cari
HISTORY (8AM-8PM): How the States Got Their Shapes
THE HUB (1-8PM): Transformer and Transformers Prime
ID (10AM-6PM): I (Almost) Got Away With It
ID (6PM-3AM TUES): Red, White & Prison Blues Marathon: Behind Mansion Walls
MSNBC (11AM-5AM TUES): Lockup
NAT GEO (9AM-3AM TUES): Border Wars
NAT GEO WILD (1PM-3AM TUES): Swamp Men
OVATION (3-8PM): Johnny Cash Marathon (Johnny Cash Live at Montreux 1994; Johnny Cash: Half Mile a Day; Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison)
OWN (11AM-6PM): Season 25: Oprah Behind the Scenes
OXYGEN (6AM-6PM): Roseanne
OXYGEN (6PM-3AM TUES): Snapped
PLANET GREEN (9AM-3PM): Best Food Ever (Sensational Sandwiches; Darn Good Diners; Crazy for Cheese; Bodacious Bakeries; Fab Food Carts; Buzzworthy BBQ)
PLANET GREEN (3PM-3AM): BBQ Pitmasters
SCIENCE (8AM-2AM TUES): Firefly
SLEUTH (6AM-6AM SUN): James Bond Movie Marathon (For Your Eyes Only; License to Kill; Thunderball; Dr. No; Casino Royale; Goldfinger; Goldeneye; Dr. No; The Living Daylights )
SOAPNET (11AM-6PM): One Tree Hill
STYLE (6AM-8PM): Project Runway
STYLE (8PM-3AM TUES): Jerseylicious
SUNDANCE (10AM-6PM): Love Lust (The Little Black Dress; The Bikini; Heels; Makeup; Street Eats; Sex Symbols; The Social Network; The Undead)
SUNDANCE (6PM-MIDNIGHT): My So-Called Life
SYFY (8AM-4AM TUES): The Twilight Zone
TLC (6AM-10PM): Cake Boss
TNT (NOON-10PM): Law & Order
TRAVEL (NOON-5PM): Food Paradise (Deep Fired Paradise; Hamburger Paradise; Hot Dog Paradise; Pie Paradise; Ice Cream Paradise)
TV LAND (11AM-8PM): Bewitched
USA (6AM-6PM): Royal Pains
VH1 (3-11PM): Single Ladies
WE (8PM-1AM TUES): The Golden Girls

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• Filed in Holiday Programming, TV Marathon
• Tags: July 4 TV marathons

(ALL TIMES ET)

Marathons … so many TV marathons this Memorial Day weekend. Here, a handy dandy guide to every possible way you could spend your weekend channel surfing:

FRIDAY | MAY 27
A&E (4-11PM): Criminal Minds
AMC (8PM-10PM SUN): War Heroes Weekend (Patton, Miracle at St. Anna, Halls of Montezuma, Jet Attack, Guadalcanal Diary, The Dirty Dozen, Tora! Tora! Tora!, Apocalypse Now Redux, Paratroop Command, Fixed Bayonets, MacArthur, The Great Raid and Pearl Harbor)
ANIMAL PLANET (7PM-6AM SAT): River Monsters
ANIMAL PLANET (8AM-7PM): Whale Wars: The Aftermath
BBC AMERICA (8AM-6AM SAT): The X-Files
BRAVO (10AM-9PM): Millionaire Matchmaker
CHILLER (9AM-4PM): Masters of Horror
DISCOVERY FIT & HEALTH (8PM-1AM SAT): My Strange Addiction
DISNEY (5-10:10PM): Suite Life on Deck
HGTV (8PM-4AM SAT): House Hunters International
HISTORY (8AM-8PM): Modern Marvels
MSNBC (10PM-5AM SAT): Lockup: Raw
MTV2 (11AM-9PM): Silent Library
SCIENCE CHANNEL (9AM-4PM): How It’s Made
SCIENCE CHANNEL (6PM-3AM SAT): How It’s Made
SPIKE (9AM-7PM): Gangland
SYFY (8AM-6AM SAT): Syfy Original Movie Marathon (Dinocroc, Snakehead Terror, Dinoshark, Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus, Mega Piranha, Malibu Shark Attack, Lake Placid 2, Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep and Sea Beast)
TCM (8PM-4:15AM TUES): Memorial Day War Marathon (Run Silent, Run Deep, Destination Tokyo, Up Periscope, Torpedo Run, Hell Below, Tank Battalion, The Tanks Are Coming, Sahara, Imitation General, Invasion Quartet, Buck Privates, What Next, Corporate Hargrave?, Ensign Pulver, Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo, Men of the Fighting Lady, Flying Leathernecks, Flight Command, Fighter Squadron, Hell to Eternity, From Here to Eternity, All Quiet on the Western Front, Sergeant York, The Deep Six, They Were Expendable, The Story of G.I. Joe, Battleground, Tell It To the Marines, Ashes and Diamonds, Paratrooper, Screaming Eagles, Objective, Burma!, The Green Berets, Kelly’s Heroes, A Bridge Too Far, The Best Years of Our Lives, Since You Went Away, The White Cliffs of Dover and Homecoming)
TRAVEL (7PM-4AM SAT): Ghost Adventures
truTV (11PM-4AM SAT): Forensic Files
WE (8PM-1AM SAT): Frasier

SATURDAY | MAY 28
A&E (5PM-4AM SUN): Parking Wars
ANIMAL PLANET (11AM-4PM): Operation Wild
BBC AMERICA (6AM-6AM SUN): Doctor Who
BET (3:30-8PM): The Game
BOOMERANG (1-5:30PM): The Flintstones
BRAVO (1-8PM): Real Housewives of New Jersey
CENTRIC (NOON-8PM): The Steve Harvey Show
CHILLER (8AM-2PM): Outer Limits
DISCOVERY (11AM-3AM SUN): MythBusters
DIY (NOON-4PM): Yard Crashers
G4 (1-9PM): Jump City Seattle
HISTORY (8AM-8PM): America the Story of Us
HISTORY (8PM-4AM SUN): Swamp People
THE HUB (2-5PM): Jem
IFC (10:20AM-1:40PM): Three Stooges
LIFETIME REAL WOMEN (8PM-4AM SUN): Coming Home
LOGO (1PM-7:30PM): Noah’s Arc
MILITARY CHANNEL (6AM-8PM): World War II in Color
MSNBC (6PM-7AM SUN): Lockup: Raw
MTV2 (6AM-11PM): Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory
MTV2 (11PM-6AM SUN): Jackass
NAT GEO WILD (9AM-7PM): Dangerous Encounters
NGC (1AM-7PM): Breakout
PLANET GREEN (7PM-6AM SUN): Storm Chasers
SCIENCE CHANNEL (6AM-3AM SUN): Oddities
SPIKE (1-6PM): Jail
SYFY (9:30-5AM SUN): Star Trek Movie Marathon (Star Trek: The Motion Picture, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn, Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home and Star Trek: First Contact)
TEENNICK (NOON-7PM): True Jackson, VP
TLC (2PM-2AM SUN): 48 Hours Hard Evidence and 48 Hours Mystery
TRAVEL (NOON-8PM): Extreme Specials (Extreme Pig Outs, Extreme Restaurants, Extreme Superstores, Extreme Towns, Extreme Mindblowing Hotels, Extreme Resorts, Extreme Pools and Extreme Terror Rides: Death-Defying Drops)
TRAVEL (8PM-4AM SAT): Ghost Adventures
truTV (NOON-3PM): Southern Fried Stings
TV LAND (2AM-8AM): M*A*S*H
VH1 (3-8PM): Saturday Night Live
WE (10AM-6PM): Ghost Whisperer

SUNDAY | MAY 29
ANIMAL PLANET (9AM-11PM): River Monsters
BBC AMERICA (6AM-6AM MON): Top Gear
BRAVO (8AM-4AM MON): Real Housewives
CENTRIC (10AM-5PM): The Steve Harvey Show
CHILLER (8PM-2AM): Fear Factor
DISCOVERY (9AM-3AM MON): Deadliest Catch
DISCOVERY FIT & HEALTH (5PM-2AM MON): Addicted
HISTORY (6PM-4AM MON): American Pickers
LIFETIME REAL WOMEN (8PM-4AM MON): Coming Home
MILITARY CHANNEL (2AM-7PM): World War II in Color
MTV2 (3-8PM): Martin
NICK (12:30-6:30PM): SpongeBob SquarePants
SCIENCE CHANNEL (8AM-3AM MON): Firefly
STYLE (1-7PM): Project Runway
SYFY (11AM-2AM MON): Star Trek Movie Marathon (Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, Star Trek: First Contact, Star Trek: Nemesis, Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, Star Trek Generations and Star Trek V: The Final Frontier)
TEENNICK (NOON-7PM): True Jackson, VP
TLC (4-9PM): Extreme Couponing
TLC (9AM-4PM): Four Weddings
TRAVEL (8:30PM-3AM MON): Man v. Food
truTV (NOON-7PM): Bait Car
TV LAND (2-8AM): M*A*S*H
TV LAND (8PM-6AM MON): M*A*S*H
TV ONE (NOON-3:30AM MON): Way Black When
WE (10AM-9PM): Bridezillas

MONDAY | MAY 30
A&E (7AM-10PM): Breakout Kings
AMC (9AM-5:30AM TUES): War Heroes Weekend (Twelve O’Clock High, Patton, The Longest Day, Midway and The Dirty Dozen)
ANIMAL PLANET (9AM-11PM): River Monsters
BBC AMERICA (8AM-5AM TUES): Top Gear
BET (8AM-7:30PM): The Game
BOOMERANG (9AM-MIDNIGHT): Smurfs
BRAVO (6:30AM-9PM): Real Housewives of New Jersey and Real Housewives of New York City
CENTRIC (9AM-5PM): The Proud Family
CHILLER (12:01-6AM): Buffy the Vampire Slayer
CHILLER (8AM-4AM TUES): Stephen King Movie Marathon (Stephen King’s The Langoliers, Stephen King’s The Tommyknockers and Stephen King’s The Stand)
COMEDY CENTRAL (9:15AM-12:45PM): Futurama
COMEDY CENTRAL (9-11PM): It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
COOKING CHANNEL (2-8PM): United Tastes of America
DISCOVERY (9AM-10PM): American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior
DISCOVERY FIT & HEALTH (NOON-8PM): Untold Stories of the E.R.
E! (8AM-6PM): Sex and the City
FOOD NETWORK (11AM-3PM): Grill It! With Bobby Flay
FX (NOON-MIDNIGHT): Two and a Half Men
G4 (9:30AM-3:30AM TUES): Campus PD
HALLMARK MOVIE (8AM-MIDNIGHT): “Love” Movie Marathon (Love Comes Softly, Love’s Enduring Promise, Love’s Long Journey, Love’s Abiding Joy, Love’s Unending Legacy, Love’s Unfolding Dream, Love Takes Wing and Love Finds a Home)
HGTV (11AM-3AM TUES): House Hunters
HISTORY (8AM-9PM): Pawn Star$
THE HUB (8AM-NOON): The Adventures of Chuck and Friends
THE HUB (7PM-6AM TUES): Batman
THE HUB (3-7PM): Batman Beyond
THE HUB (NOON-3PM): Pound Puppies
IFC (8AM-6PM): Arrested Development
ION (3PM-3AM TUES): Criminal Minds
LIFETIME (10AM-10PM): “Perfect” Movie Marathon (The Perfect Neighbor, The Perfect Nanny, The Perfect Assistant, The Perfect Marriage, The Perfect Wife and The Perfect Teacher)
LIFETIME MOVIE NETWORK (NOON-4PM): Betty Broderick Movies (A Woman Scorned: The Betty Broderick Story and Her Final Fury: Betty Broderick, the Last Chapter)
LOGO (2-6:30PM): Noah’s Arc
MSNBC (NOON-5AM TUES): Caught on Camera
MTV (9AM-10PM): Jersey Shore
MTV2 (8AM-4PM): Randy Jackson Presents America’s Best Dance Crew
NAT GEO WILD (2-10PM): Python Hunters
OWN (11AM-4PM): Season 25: Oprah Behind the Scenes
SCIENCE CHANNEL (6AM-9PM): How It’s Made
SPIKE (9AM-7PM): Star Wars Movie Prequels (Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones and Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith)
STYLE (9AM-11PM): Project Runway Season 4
SUNDANCE (1-6PM): My So-Called Life
TBS (4-8PM): Seinfeld
TEENNICK (NOON-7PM): True Jackson, VP
TLC (2:30-10PM): Cake Boss
TLC (6AM-2:30PM): Cake Boss: Next Great Baker
TRAVEL (NOON-7PM): Paradise Specials (Ice Cream Paradise, All You Can Eat Paradise, Ribs Paradise, Barbecue Paradise, Hamburger Paradise, Hot Dog Paradise and Deep Fried Paradise)
TV LAND (8PM-6AM TUES): M*A*S*H
TV ONE (11AM-9PM): Martin
USA (6AM-8PM): NCIS
WE (8PM-1AM TUES): Golden Girls

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• Filed in Holiday Programming, TV Marathon, TV Picks
• Tags: Memorial Day TV marathons

(ALL TIMES ET)

8:30PM | FOOD NETWORK – 2ND SEASON PREMIERE
Kid in a Candy Store – The second season premiere of this intentionally over-the-top sweet series makes for perfect Valentine’s Day viewing. Host Adam Gertler kicks off another round of visits to some of the coolest candy, ice cream, cake, cookie, pie and other dessert venues, which, tonight, includes the awesome Papabubble store in New York City. Toothbrushes, hats, rings and lollipops shaped like eggs and roses are among the gorgeous, personalized Papabubble candies that are almost too cool to eat (though you will, because they also come in yummy flavors like kiwi, passion fruit and pink grapefruit).

CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR TIME AND CHANNEL
Ellen – Ellen scores the big award winners today, with BAFTA (and sure-thing Oscar) winner Colin Firth, as well as last night’s big Grammy winners, Lady Antebellum.

CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR TIME AND CHANNEL
Jeopardy – There’s nothing elementary about this Watson, a computer who’s going to challenge Jeopardy uber-champion Ken Jennings in a three-day tournament.

8PM | NBC
Chuck – The return of Sarah’s former spy girl pals means trouble for Morgan, when his one-time hook-up wants a do over.

8PM | CBS
How I Met Your Mother – Welcome to Barney’s new Feb. 13 holiday for lonely women: Desperation Day.

8PM | ABC FAMILY
Pretty Little Liars – Guess who has a parent-teacher conference with Ezra? Yep, his girlfriend’s daddy.

8:30PM | CBS – SERIES PREMIERE
Mad Love – So many Hollywood romantic cliches in this sitcom, including a meet cute atop the Empire State Building, best friends who hate each other and New Yorkers trying to find love. Despite that, it’s a likable cast, including Scrubs and Roseanne alum Sarah Chalke, American Pie‘s Jason Biggs, Reaper scene stealer Tyler Labine and perpetual chick flick BFF (speaking of cliches) Judy Greer.

9PM | THE CW
Gossip Girl – Chuck makes one more big play to save his father’s company.

10PM | E!
Fashion Police – Let the feathers fly, as Lady Gaga‘s egg entrance and Cee Lo‘s chicken-y frock will certainly be amongst the topics on this special post-Grammys edition of Fashion Police.

10PM | CBS
Hawaii Five-O – Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo guest star. Hey, 98 Degrees money alone isn’t going to pay for that second wedding.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Nelly guest stars on 90210 (8PM, The CW);
– On The Bachelor (8PM, ABC), Brad and the remaining six women head to Anguilla, though only four will get roses;
– It’s doggies, doggies, doggies at the opening night of the 135th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show (8PM, USA);
– Back-to-back episodes of The Unpoppables (8 and 8:30PM, TLC) find the gang making the Eiffel Tower and a wedding dress out of balloons;
– William Shatner guests on American Pickers (9PM, History), when he asks the fellas to help furnish his home in Kentucky;
– On Cake Boss (9PM, TLC), a client asks Buddy to make a cake shaped like a toilet (and to make it actually flush);
– A snowstorm on Greek (9PM, ABC Family) strands the gang at Dobler’s, where they hash out some stresses about their romantic futures;
– Another Valentine’s-y special: The documentary When Strangers Click (9PM, HBO), about five people who went looking for love online;
– On Castle (10PM, ABC), Richard and Beckett butt heads when his old pal is the main suspect in the killing of the guy’s wife;
– Heavy (10PM, A&E) features a father who’s trying to whittle down his 597-pound weight;
– Drama on Lizard Lick Towing (10PM, truTV), as Ron and Bobby repossess a cable van while the driver is on a call, and on the customer’s roof!;
– Big Love star Chloe Sevigny is a guest judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race (10PM, LOGO);
– On Skins (10PM, MTV), Stan will fail his junior year if he misses one more day of school, so when he oversleeps and misses the bus … well, let’s just say there’s a stolen car involved;
– It’s more like a takedown on Tabatha’s Salon Takeover (10PM, Bravo), when Tabatha meets up with a crabby stylist who bullies her co-workers and boss;
– On back-to-back episodes of Shatner’s Raw Nerve (10PM, Bio), The Shat chats with Penny Marshall and Glee star Jessalyn Gilsig;
– On an It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia classic (10:30PM, Comedy Central), we learn the D.E.N.N.I.S. method of picking up women (in an episode that features the real-life wife of star Glenn Howerton as the object of Dennis’ scam).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Justin Bieber, the Black Keys and Claire Smith;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Edward Glaeser;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): LCD Soundsystem;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Tom Brokaw and the top 10 list presented by Sports Illustrated swimsuit models;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Lady Gaga, John Legend and Sofia Vergara;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): R. Kelly and the cast of The Real Housewives of Orange County;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Martin Lawrence, Jewel and Dianna Agron;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Greyson Chance, Mike Birbiglia and January Jones;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Bob Barker and Melissa Rauch;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Ryan Case (REPEAT).

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