(ALL TIMES ET)

8 and 9PM | NBC
30 Rock – First up: Whilst Tracy champions the world’s morons, Jack dukes it out with Devin Banks and messes with Liz’s relationship with Criss. In the night’s second ep, Kenneth looks for a new page assignment when he thinks the TGS crew doesn’t love him anymore. The installment’s called “The Ballad of Kenneth Parcell,” and after last season saw precious few Kenneth storylines, it’s a very welcome development to see Jack McBrayer getting more screen time this season.

8PM | FOX
American Idol – The auditions head to the city Glen Campbell sang about. No, there’s no city called Rhinestone Cowboy, silly. It’s Galveston.

8PM | CBS
The Big Bang Theory – Penny and Leonard are reunited and it feels so, well, less weird than Raj’s new relationship … with his virtual phone assistant.

8:30PM | NBC
Parks & Recreation – Leslie goes bowling for votes when she hosts a bowling soiree to whip up support for her campaign. Her pals, meanwhile, compete to see who can raise the most cash for her political efforts.

9PM | LIFETIME
Project Runway All Stars – The designers have just six hours to design a fabulous outfit that will be judged by – Gasp, clutch the pearls – Diane von Furstenberg.

10PM | FX
Archer – When Cyril (Cyril!) gets promoted to field agent, he, Archer and Lana head out on a dangerous mission. Made all the more dangerous by the fact that Cyril has been made a field agent.

10PM | MTV
Jersey Shore – The Shore gang heads to Staten Island to convince Vinny to return to the smelly, smelly beach house. Staten Island … smelly beach house. Staten Island … smelly beach house. Yep, that’s a tough call.

11PM | SHOWTIME – SERIES PREMIERE
Inside Comedy – The series features David Steinberg interviewing comedians about their careers and what influences them. First up: Jerry Seinfeld and Don Rickles.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Jon Heder and Cuba Gooding Jr.;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Tilda Swinton;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Drew Barrymore;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Regis Philbin (REPEAT);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Jim Parsons (REPEAT);
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): J.B. Smoove and Andre Agassi;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): John Mulaney (REPEAT);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Craig tours the Palace of Versailles;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Wale (REPEAT).

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• Filed in 30 Rock, American Idol, Late Night, Project Runway, TV Picks

Still my all-time favorite American Idol contestant: Season five third-place finisher (but shoulda-been-winner) Elliott Yamin is releasing his third CD, Let’s Get to What’s Real, on March 27.

The first single and video, “3 Words,” are out now, and it’s Elliott doing what he does best, a great R&B tune.

Check out the video below, and follow him on Twitter, where he’s been hinting at some big happenings in the near future:

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• Filed in American Idol
• Tags: Elliott Yamin 3 Words, Elliott Yamin new CD

(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM | FOX – SERIES PREMIERE
Touch – Kiefer Sutherland is back on TV as New York City widower Martin Bohm, whose autistic son detects patterns in numbers that allow him to predict the future. I know, I know, it’s tough to really get a feel for the show from the commercials. And it’s even tougher when, during a confrontation with a man in the premiere, Kiefer gets punched in the stomach … that never would have happened to Jack Bauer! But once you get past that, and resolve to sit back and enjoy the story as it unfolds at a leisurely and mysterious pace, it’s a fine premise, with an emotional payoff. It’s still not 24, but … definitely worth checking out this preview airing, before the show premieres in its regular timeslot in March.

8PM | FOX
American Idol – The action moves to Aspen, Colorado, where Nicolas Cage‘s kid auditions. I kid. I think.

9PM | CBS
Criminal Minds – In the show’s 150th episode, the team tracks a serial rapist known as “The Piano Man.” I hope Mr. William Joel has his people registering his offense at that name.

10PM | CBS
CSI – Farewell, Marg Helgenberger.

10PM | ID – SERIES PREMIERE
Dark Minds – Yes, it’s like a real-life Silence of the Lambs when crime author M. William Phelps, criminal profiler John Kelly and a convicted serial killer team up to reexamine serial killer cold cases. This reality show’s version of Hannibal Lecter: “13.”

10PM | MTV – 22ND SEASON PREMIERE
c – The contestants arrive in the Dominican Republic to try to win their share of the $300,000 grand prize. The glitch: they’re paired with the ex-boyfriends/girlfriends/flings/one-night stands, etc. in their quest for the cast. Among the pairs unhappy to find out they’re face-to-face (and other body parts-to-body parts during the challenges): C.T. and Diem, who I always thought (hoped) would eventually reunite.

10PM | USA
Royal Pains – Hank goes golfing with Jack (Tom Cavanagh), but has to deliver some bad news. If it’s the news that Ed has been cancelled, we know, and we’re still sad about it.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Haley gets help from Dan at the café on One Tree Hill (8PM, The CW);
– Elka’s making crank calls on Hot in Cleveland (10PM, TV Land);
– Cat Cora is the guest judge on Top Chef: Texas (10M, Bravo).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Timothy Olyphant and John Mulaney;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Paula Broadwell;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Terry Gross;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Scarlett Johansson (REPEAT);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Robin Williams (REPEAT);
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Cuba Gooding Jr.;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Robin Thicke and Donnie Wahlberg (REPEAT);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Jean-Michel Cousteau (REPEAT);
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Weezer (REPEAT).

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• Filed in American Idol, Betty White, Late Night, TV Picks
• Tags: Dark Minds ID, Real World/Road Rules Challenge Battle of the Exes, Touch premiere

(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | FX
Justified – Oh, that Boyd (Walton Goggins). How long into last week’s season premiere did it take you to realize what he’d intended to do with his fight with Raylan (Timothy Olyphant)? Tonight, he tries to make a meeting with Dickie Bennett (Jeremy Davies) happen, while Raylan tries to make sure it (and therefore Dickie’s death) doesn’t. Meanwhile, a former colleague of Raylan’s pops into the office, and she looks a lot like Carla Gugino, who, of course, played the titular character in another Elmore Leonard adaptation TV series.

8:30PM | CARTOON NETWORK
The Looney Tunes Show – Bugs has a Nobel Prize, but no shelf to put it on … anthropomorphic bunny problems.

9PM | WE – 2ND SEASON PREMIERE
Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best? – Melissa hosts an intervention to convince Joan not to get more plastic surgery. She may need the TLC people for this one.

9 and 9:30PM | A&E
Shipping Wars – Marc hauls a 1928 train caboose that is in a very fragile state. Well, he’ll haul it assuming it doesn’t fall apart before he can even load it onto his truck.

9PM | NGC – 8TH SEASON FINALE
Taboo – Exploring alternative, unconventional medicines, including an asthma treatment that involves swallowing a while animal. A whole, live animal.

10PM | FOOD NETWORK
Chopped – Root beer schnapps and sweetbreads (bleecchh) are in the baskets as four previous runners-up return for another shot at the $10,000 prize.

10PM | TNT
Southland – Joel Rucker (Carl Lumbly, who’ll always be Dixon to me) becomes the new captain, Ben and Sammy are paired with a hapless officer and Lydia and Ruben work a murder at a convenience store.

10 and 10:30PM | A&E
Storage Wars – The gang heads to San Francisco, where Dave – yuuup – gets an apprentice.

10PM | MTV
Teen Mom 2 – Jenelle continues her massive meltdown by fighting with both Kieffer and her friend Tori.

10PM | USA
White Collar – Will the phrase “hot for teacher” pop up? Perhaps, as Neal poses as a substitute teacher at a prestigious Manhattan prep school to help Peter and the FBI recover some missing scholarship money.

11PM | BRAVO
Watch What Happens: Live – Mary J. Blige in the (club)house!

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– The teams compete to win exclusive use of the gym on The Biggest Loser (8PM, NBC);
– The new series All Star Dealers (8 and 8:30PM, Discovery) follows the wheelings and dealings of sports memorabilia auctioneers.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Sam Worthington;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Elizabeth Warren;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Placido Domingo;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Tina Fey (REPEAT);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Janet Jackson (REPEAT);
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Ben McKenzie and Elizabeth Banks;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Judah Friedlander (REPEAT);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Kristen Bell (REPEAT);
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Wiz Khalifa (REPEAT).

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• Filed in Cartoons, Justified, Late Night, Teen Mom, TV Picks
• Tags: Justified

(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM | BRAVO – 2ND SEASON FINALE
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – As the tension-filled, awkward season finally comes to a close, Lisa‘s daughter Pandora gets married, and Taylor finally spills the entire truth about her marriage to Russell. Check out the Los Angeles Times story on the season, in which Real Housewives daddy Andy Cohen discusses the network’s process for deciding how to handle the season.

8PM | ABC
The Bachelor – More dates, more dinners, more crazy drama; still no indication that any of this will lead to a lasting relationship.

8PM | THE CW
Gossip Girl – It’s Blair’s bachelorette party, in an episode directed by Clueless and Fast Times at Ridgemont High director Amy Heckerling.

8PM | FOX
House – A patient in an Alzheimer’s drug trial begins reacting violently, which leads to a revelation about his relationship with his wife. Meanwhile, House butts heads with … someone (okay, Foreman).

8PM | SUNDANCE
The Mortified Sessions – Alanis Morissette discusses dating much older men when she was 14, while TOMS creator Blake Mycoskie discusses an important business lesson he learned launching a laundry business in college.

8PM | ABC FAMILY
Pretty Little Liars – Ezra is avoiding Aria’s phone calls, so she plots to get him to respond to her.

9PM | FOX
Alcatraz – The hunt is on for a child killer, who would kidnap his victims and return their bodies afterwards, when he returns from the past.

9PM | OWN
America’s Money Class With Suze Orman – Tonight’s financial advice from Suze includes tips on saving moolah, avoiding financial scams and landing a good job

10PM | ABC
Castle – A reality TV star is the suspect when a famous dog trailer is murdered. The episode title: “An Embarrassment of Bitches.” Well played, Castle folk.

10PM | BRAVO
It’s a Brad, Brad World – Brad looks for a new office space (new meaning: not his garage), and things get a little testy when he and Gary begin planning their anniversary bash.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– On Heat Seekers (8PM, Food Network), Aaron and Roger head to Las Vegas where they sample a Mexican chicken dish so spicy it’s called “Cry Today, Cry Tomorrow”;
– On Fear Factor (9PM, NBC), contestants have to swim with leeches and dangle on a bungee line attached to a helicopter in hopes of winning the $100,000 grand prize;
– Three drug addicts try to deal with the addiction issues while also dealing with their new surroundings as newbie prisoners on First Week In (9PM, Discovery);
– Tonight’s four-episode marathon of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (9PM, Comedy Central) includes “Sweet Dee Gets Audited” and the classic “The Gang Gets Held Hostage,” with the McPoyles;
– It’s the fifth season premiere of Cake Boss (10PM, TLC), and Buddy and Lisa renew their vows on a cruise (unless bad weather dooms the ceremony);
– Back-to-back Pawn Stars episodes on History Channel (10 and 10:30PM);
– Lisa Vanderpump and Brandi Glanville guest on Watch What Happens; Live (11PM, Bravo).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Wilco;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Kathleen Sebelius;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Bruce Bueno De Mesquita;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Mark Wahlberg (REPEAT);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Michelle Williams (REPEAT);
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Kiefer Sutherland;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Tina Fey (REPEAT);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): The host tours the Eifel Tower;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Cee-Lo Green (REPEAT).

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• Filed in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Late Night, Real Housewives, TV Picks
• Tags: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season 2 finale