(ALL TIMES ET)

8PM | NBC
Betty White’s 90th Birthday: A Tribute to America’s Golden Girl – Her Mary Tyler Moore Show co-stars, her Hot in Cleveland co-stars and funny people like Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Joel McHale show up to celebrate the birthday of the national treasure that is Betty Marion White.

8PM | FOX – SERIES PREMIERE
Alcatraz – Hurley! Lost alum Jorge Garcia stars (and J.J. Abrams produces) in this new drama about prisoners who mysteriously disappeared from Alcatraz prison years earlier, and are reappearing in the present.

8PM | THE CW
Gossip Girl – Vera Wang guest stars as Vera Wang, who pops in at Blair’s wedding dress fitting.

8PM | FOOD NETWORK – 2ND SEASON PREMIERE
Heat Seekers – Aaron Sanchez and Roger Mooking continue traveling the country to find the spiciest foods, starting with ghost pepper enchiladas and hot wings in Dallas.

8PM | CBS
How I Met Your Mother – As Lily and Marshal prepare to move to the ‘burbs, their friends deal with it by going to a strip club.

8PM | SUNDANCE
The Mortified Sessions – Filmmaker Edward Burns and actor/writer/Freaks and Geeks and Bridesmaids producer Paul Feig share their blasts from the pasts, including the genesis of Feig’s fondness for cross-dressing and Burns’ memories of his cop father’s fondness for locking him up in jail cells to deter him from engaging in “tough guy” behavior.

9PM | OWN
America’s Money Class With Suze Orman – On tonight’s installment, Suze dishes on the cost of having a baby, retirement planning and the four documents every family must have to protect their future.

9PM | BRAVO
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – Kim tells everyone the truth about her boyfriend, and Lisa‘s launch party for her new lounge turns into a drama-laden affair. Of course.

9:30PM | NBC – SERIES PREMIERE
Betty White’s Off Their Rockers – Think Punk’d, with Betty White replacing Ashton Kutcher, and a gang of senior citizens replacing Kutcher’s minions. So, awesome, right?

10PM | ABC
Castle – A dead body in the mayor’s motor pool jeopardizes Castle’s partnership with the police department, because the mayor arranged the deal and the mayor is in a mess o’ trouble.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Singer Matt Nathanson is too cool to be on this show, but nonetheless, enjoy his performance on The Bachelor (8PM, ABC);
– A three-hour marathon of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (8PM, Comedy Central) includes “Dee Gives Birth,” the season 7 premiere and “The Gang Goes to the Jersey Shore”;
– The Big O interviews the cast of Roots on Oprah and the Legendary Cast of Roots 35 years Later (8PM, OWN);
– Caleb is desperate to locate the MIA Lucas, but Hanna isn’t on Pretty Little Liars (8PM, Network);
– It’s the season two premiere of Being Human (9PM, Syfy);
– Three new inmates try to learn the rules (lest they face deadly consequence of their ignorance) on First Week In (9PM, Discovery);
– When Victoria is arrested, Molly asks Mike for help on Mike & Molly (9:30PM, CBS);
– Danny’s ex-wife goes into labor (early!) on Hawaii Five-O (10PM, CBS);
– On It’s a Brad, Brad World (10:15PM, Bravo), Brad meets with a writer about penning his memoirs, while, back in Los Angeles, his new assistant shows up hours late … on her first day;
– Kyle Richards and her hubby Mauricio Umansky are Andy Cohen‘s guests on Watch What Happens: Live (11:15PM, Bravo).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Kate Beckinsale;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Jodi Kantor;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Rev. Scott Douglas;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Simon Baker and Seal;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Melissa McCarthy (REPEAT);
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Don Cheadle (REPEAT);
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Liam Neeson and Piers Morgan;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Lucy Liu and Kevin Sorbo;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Lisa Ling (REPEAT).

• No Comments
• Filed in Betty White, Late Night, Real Housewives, TV Picks
• Tags: Alcatraz premiere, America's Money Class With Suze Orman, Betty White's 90th Birthday: A Tribute to America's Golden Girl, Betty White's Off Their Rockers