All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Arrested Development creator Mitch Hurwitz confirms that the big-screen AD will happen, he will direct it and much of its plot revolves around a jail. Can’t wait.

– The New York Post has a peek at some of the songs we’ll supposedly hear on 2010 episodes of Glee. Among them: “Proud Mary, “Endless Love,” “Imagine” and Kelly Clarkson‘s “My Life Would Suck Without You.”

– It looks like NBC’s discarded cop drama Southland will land at TNT, possibly as soon as November.

– NBC is developing two new series: One’s an African-American comedy described as “Mad About You-meets-The Cosby Show,” while the other’s a drama about two guys who can be inhabited by ghosts and who use this ability to solve problems for living and dead New Orleans residents. That may be the most high-concept plot of the year …

– If you’re up at 6AM, check out Al Roker‘s new Weather Channel series Wake Up with Al, where, this week, guests include Tim McGraw (Tuesday), Anthony Edwards (Wednesday), Tina Fey and Tracy Morgan (Thursday) and Dan Ackroyd on Friday.

– Hosting her own talk show could have potentially been Jennifer Aniston‘s most interesting career move ever, but, sadly, it’s apparently not happening, despite rumors to the contrary.

– One of the main questions table-tossing Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa always sparked for me was, how the heck were she and her husband affording that pimp mansion that they were building on the show? Turns out, they weren’t. Affording it, that is.

– The Beek is back! Dawson’s Creek star James Van Der Beek will pop up as a baddie on ABC’s The Forgotten. The complete series DVD collection of the Creek, by the way, hits stores on Nov. 10.

– Top Chef‘s getting another spin-off series: Just Desserts, which, like the title suggests, will be all about yummy sweet things. And the pastries they make. Bah dum dum! Thank you ladies and germs, I’m here all week, and there is a two-drink minimum.

– TV Land is developing a couple of original, scripted comedy series, one of which I think will be offensive to the fine folk of Cleveland, Ohio.

– Want a first gander at the assembled cast of the upcoming big-screen A-Team remake movie? The NY Post has it.

– That creepy, serial adulterer ESPN dude? He’s been fired by the sports network. And, of course, he’s using sex addiction as the excuse for his d-bag behavior.

– Who’s watching NBC’s Mercy? Who knows, but the beleaguered network ordered the back nine episodes of the medical drama anyway, along with nine more eps of Thursday night sitcoms Community and Parks and Recreation.

– And a second season of TLC’s fabulous Cake Boss, about New Joisey baker Buddy Valastro, debuts tonight at 10PM ET. Among the highlights of the season: Buddy and his team fashion a NASCAR car cake, life-sized.

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• Filed in Boob Tube to Big Screen, TV News
• Tags: A-Team movie photo, Arrested Development movie, Cake Boss season 2, Dawson's Creek complete series DVD, Glee 2010, Glee new songs, James Van Der Beek The Forgotten, Jennifer Aniston talk show, Real Housewives of New Jersey Teresa, Southland TNT, Top Chef Just Desserts

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Production on the Bones set has been shut down thanks to an outbreak of the swine flu.

– MTV has scheduled the premiere of Gone Too Far, the reality series starring the late DJ AM, for Oct. 12.

– Bravo is cooking up a seventh season of Top Chef.

– Showtime has already ordered a fourth season of David Duchovny‘s Californication, after the show’s huge season three premiere on Sept. 27.

– It’s up and down with progress on that Arrested Development movie, which has been languishing in development hell forever, but a bit of solid good news about the movie’s prospects: Series creator Mitch Hurwitz is definitely at work on a script, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

– More TV remake news: Fantasy Island is becoming a reality series, thanks to Mark Burnett.

– As much as I liked the five-year flash forward on Desperate Housewives last season, I’m bummed that creator Marc Cherry keeps going back to the mystery-of-the-season plot, this year with Drea de Matteo and her Wisteria Lane newbies. And now it looks like Cherry is going back to the neighborhood disaster well, following the tornado of season four with a neighborhood plane crash this season.

– The O.C. star Rachel Bilson has been cast for the 100th episode of How I Met Your Mother, setting off speculation that she might just be the titular Ted’s babymama we have yet to meet.

– Fans of Lifetime movies – and really, who isn’t? – should check out the Lifetime Movie Network Website, where viewers can now pick which made-for-TV flick will air on Friday nights. PS – This week’s best bet: Maid of Honor, a real psycho love triangle guilty pleasure gem.

– Ratings woes continue for Joss Whedon‘s Dollhouse, which got a surprise second-season renewal on Fox after a less than stellar premiere season: SyFy’s premiere of Stargate Universe had more viewers than Dollhouse.

– Kansas City Star TV critic Aaron Barnhart (one of the best TV critics in the country) has an interesting take on the Late Show audience reaction to David Letterman‘s mea culpa last week, especially the laughter and applause that followed Letterman’s confession. CBS, meanwhile, is trying to make the video of Letterman’s confession difficult to find.

– Defamer and its readers are being snarky about the pseudo Seinfeld reunion that began on last night’s Curb Your Enthusiasm … what did you think? I loved it. Short of an actual Seinfeld reunion, which probably isn’t a good idea yet, the Curb storyline is as clever as a reunion storyline could be.

– Premiering tonight on BET: The Mo’Nique Show, a late-night talk show hosted by comedienne/actress/reality TV hostess Mo’Nique.

– Also premiering outside primetime: Sherri Shepherd‘s new Lifetime sitcom, Sherri, based on her real-life divorce from her cheating husband. Unfortunately, the sitcom is much less funny than Shepherd’s many riffs about the divorce on The View.

– And tonight in primetime:

– Barney wants Robin lessons from Ted on How I Met Your Mother (8PM ET, CBS)
– Angela takes Nathan through his past on Heroes (8PM, NBC)
– Nathan’s scandal hits the public on One Tree Hill (8PM, The CW)
– James Earl Jones guest stars on House (8PM, Fox)
– Cassie and Charles look for his dad on Lincoln Heights (8PM, ABC Family)
– It’s the third week of performances on Dancing With the Stars (8PM, ABC)
– New Accidentally on Purpose on CBS (8:30PM)
– Hilary Duff and Tyra Banks stir up some trouble on Gossip Girl (9PM, The CW)
– Buffy alum James Marsters guests on Lie to Me (9PM, Fox)
– Cappie tries to get a date with Lana on Greek (9PM, ABC Family)
– Jake blackmails his uncle with a photo on Two and a Half Men (9PM, CBS)
– Trauma‘s trauma (9PM, NBC): a car that crashes into the crowd at a street fair
– A new Unwrapped episode is all about honey (9PM, Food Network)
– Howard and Raj try to meet women at a Goth nightclub on The Big Bang Theory (9:30PM, CBS)
– CSI: Miami (10PM, CBS) is all about the cougar, this one in the form of Charlie’s Angels alum Cheryl Ladd
– Taylor stews while Brad and Rachel enjoy Fashion Week in Paris on The Rachel Zoe Project (10PM, Bravo)
– Jamie Foxx is the guest on The Jay Leno Show (10PM, NBC)
– A model’s murder leads Castle (10PM, ABC) into the fashion industry
– On Ultimate Cake Off (10PM, TLC), the chefs have to create fancy, five-foot-tall wedding cakes in nine hours

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• Filed in Boob Tube to Big Screen, TV News
• Tags: Arrested Development movie, Bones swine flu, DJ AM MTV reality series, Dollhouse ratings, Fantasy Island reality show, Letterman blackmail scandal, Rachel Bilson How I Met Your Mother

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Sunday’s Daytime Emmy telecast was the lowest-rated in the show’s history.

– Fox is heading to Twitter this week to drop some behind-the-scenes scoop from cast and producers of Glee and Fringe during those shows’ broadcasts.

– TV Guide has an interview with Paula Abdul, in which she talks about hosting her own talk show and doesn’t rule out the possibility of a return to American Idol.

– Another lawyer series? I’d yawn, too, except that ABC’s upcoming lawyer dramedy comes from The O.C./Gossip Girl/Chuck producer Josh Schwartz.

– Showtime is producing a reality version of its hit drama The L Word, and Variety describes the show as a lesbian version of Bravo’s Real Housewives series.

– Jon Gosselin says the media is exploiting his kids. Insert snicker here.

– Spike TV has announced the list of nominees for its annual Scream Awards, which will air on the network on Oct. 27. Viewers can vote for winners in sci-fi, fantasy, comics and horror categories at Spike.com.

– Will the Arrested Development movie ever happen? Sigh.

– Teen Wolf, the movie, is becoming Teen Wolf, the MTV series.

– AdAge.com has a fun story on the history of ESPN and the creation of SportsCenter.

– Who ends up married to Mike Delfino in the new season of Desperate Housewives: Susan or Katherine? My money is on Susan, but take a look at the season six preview clip and make your guess.

– And tonight in primetime:
– Gordon wigs over raw meat during dinner service on Hell’s Kitchen (Fox, 8PM ET)
– Patrick shows up at a party the girls throw when their dad is out of town on 10 Things I Hate About You (8PM, ABC Family)
– The Power of Veto ceremony is held on Big Brother 11 (8PM, CBS)
– Luke narrows it down to three potential mates on More to Love (Fox, 9PM)
– America’s Got Talent at 9PM (NBC)
– It’s Shaq Vs. Albert Pujols in a home run derby (9PM, ABC)
– Pete and Myka investigate a series of suicides in a Florida prison on Warehouse 13 (9PM, SyFy)
– Uncle Teddy’s in for a rough ride in the fifth season finale of Rescue Me (10PM, FX)
– Spike TV’s new reality series Surviving Disaster (10PM) lives up to its name, providing tips on how to survive events like weather dramas and terrorist attacks
– Andrew eats a tree rat in the series premiere of Andrew Zimmern’s Bizarre World (10PM, Travel Channel)
– Jeff, well, flips out on Flipping Out (10PM, Bravo)
– William tries to help an addict boxer and his addict wife on The Cleaner (10PM, A&E)
– The Frungillos have to deal with wedding crashers on Masters of Reception (10PM, TLC)
– On the Secret Lives of Women (10PM, WE): Cults
– Second season premiere of Rehab: Party at the Hard Rock Hotel on truTV (10PM)

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• Filed in TV News
• Tags: Arrested Development movie, Daytime Emmy ratings, Josh Schwartz lawyer dramedy, Spike TV Scream Awards, The L Word reality series

While we Arrested Development fans impatiently wait for that big-screen movie that’s been in development seemingly since the show left the tube in 2006, Details mag has star Jason Bateman as its cover guy.

The accompanying interview features the charming 40-year-old former child star (Little House on the Prairie, Silver Spoons, Valerie and the very underrated It’s Your Move) dishing about his wild twentysomething years in Hollywood and why and how he finally made the decision to grow up.

Excerpts from the article (which you can read online):

Bateman on his hard-partying 20s: “It was like Risky Business for 10 years,” he says of the nineties. “My parents were out of town, they left me a bunch of money, the car, and the house, and I didn’t know when they were coming home. I’d worked so hard that by the time I was 20, I wanted to play hard. And I did that really well.”

Bateman on his decision to stop partying, after an ultimatum from his wife (Paul Anka’s daughter, Amanda): “I was never at a place where rehab would have been appropriate,” he says of his drug use. “Booze was what would make me want to stay out all night and do some blow or smoke a joint or whatever, so shutting that off was key. It’s like ketchup and French fries—I don’t want one without the other. So that’s the moment: Do you want to continue being great at being in your twenties, or do you want to step up and graduate into adulthood?”

Bateman on his career: “This isn’t a way to make a living that you can have any control over. You can’t kiss the boss’s ass and work extra hard to get that promotion. Things are going better now than ever, but in 24 months? I could be hearing crickets.”

And Bateman on the Arrested Development movie: “We’re gonna make the movie. Mitch Hurwitz is just starting to write it. It’ll be out in a year and a half.”

The actor, who’s currently filming the comedy Paul with Simon Pegg and Seth Rogen, has a string of upcoming movie roles, including Up in the Air, a dramedy with George Clooney; The Baster, a romantic comedy with Jennifer Aniston; Couples Retreat with Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughn, Kristen Bell and Kristen Davis; Extract, a Mike Judge comedy with Mila Kunis and Ben Affleck; and The Invention of Lying, a comedy with Ricky Gervais, Tina Fey, Jonah Hill, Patrick Stewart, Jeffrey Tambor, Rob Lowe and Christopher Guest.

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• Filed in TV News
• Tags: Arrested Development movie, Jason Bateman, The Baster, The Invention of Lying