(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | FX – 2ND SEASON FINALE
Archer – Guess who’s in love? Archer. Yes, playboy Sterling Archer has fallen hard for a KGB agent named Katya, and he even brings her home to meet mom. Mallory, and Archer’s ex, Lana, are less than happy to meet his new beloved though, and that – along with the reappearance of the vengeance-minded Barry – leads to an ending that’s even more surprising, and hilarious, than the idea of Archer settling down.

8PM | FOX
American Idol – Yet again, I’ll say it should be Stefano who gets the boot, but that cheesy Chachi knock-off seems to have staying power, so don’t be too surprised if someone else is sent packing.

8PM | FOX
Bones – Booth calls on his old soldier pal Walter Sherman (7th Heaven star Geoff Stults) to help him with a case, in an episode that sets up a potential Bones spin-off that would star Stults.

8PM | NBC
Community – It’s flashback time, as the group strolls down memory lane, while Troy’s monkey returns and then disappears again, prompting Senor Chang to chase after him. The twist with the flashbacks: We’ve never actually seen them before.

8PM | THE CW
The Vampire Diaries – More flashback fun: We go back to 1941, where we find out the origins of the moonstone curse and see Katherine being introduced to Klaus and Elijah.

9PM | NBC
The Office – Just one week until Steve Carell‘s final episode, and tonight, Michael Scott hosts his finale Dundies. Elsewhere, Erin begins to realize that she really doesn’t like her boyfriend, Gabe. Join the club, sister.

9:30PM | NBC
Parks & Recreation – When Leslie joins an online dating site, she gets paired up with someone she already knows.

10PM | FOOD NETWORK – 2ND SEASON PREMIERE
24-Hour Restaurant Battle – I’m missing Scott Conant on Chopped this season, so it’ll be good to see him back on the tube every week on Battle. In tonight’s season two opener, he welcomes two former couples who duke it out with each other, armed with clam chowder and BBQ octopus.

10PM | NBC
30 Rock – It’s a one-hour episode to mark the show’s 100th episode, but all is not well in the halls of 30 Rock, because TGS has been marked for cancellation, sending Liz Lemon and company into fast and furious action to try to save their jobs.

10PM | BRAVO
Real Housewives of New York City – While Alex tries to make up with the increasingly unlikable Sonja, Ramona and crazy Kelly begin their feud anew. And speaking of Ramona, and crazy, she hits the catwalk again, crazy eyes and all.

11:35PM | NBC – SNEAK PREVIEW
The Voice – American Idol has, yet again, become tiresome, and though the thought of another singing competition series also sounds tiresome, preview clips of The Voice have introduced some interesting concepts, namely that the judges/mentors – Adam Levine, Cee Lo Green, Christina Aguilera and Blake Shelton – can’t see the contestants perform until they’ve committed to working with them. Tonight, NBC gives viewers a 12-minute preview of the show, which premieres on April 26. Are you gonna watch?

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– The 12,000 Bottle Boat (8PM, NGC) follows the adventures of environmentalist David de Rothschild as he builds, and sets sail in, a boat made of 12,000 recycled plastic bottles;
– Henry Rollins guest stars on The Paul Reiser Show (8:30PM, NBC), which is the only reason I can think of to watch this disappointingly lame, wannabe Curb Your Enthusiasm comedy;
– Three episodes of Royal Wedding of a Lifetime (8PM, Lifetime) focus on Kate Middleton‘s dress, the menu for next week’s royal wedding and the similarities between Middleton and Princess Diana;
– For those of you with DirecTV, Beverly Hills 90210 god Jason Priestley makes a great comeback in the Canadian comedy Call Me Fitz (9PM, DirecTV Channel 101), in which he plays a sex-addicted car salesman;
– Nikita (9PM, The CW) comes up with a plan to pull Alex out of Division, but Alex is sent on a mission before Nikita can put her plot into action;
– Sarah Palin is the subject of tonight’s E! True Hollywood Story (10PM, E!);
– Bad news: It’s the second one finale for Chris Elliott‘s cheeky comedy Eagleheart (11:59PM, Adult Swim). The good news: It’s been renewed for a second season.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Reese Witherspoon;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Tracy Morgan (REPEAT);
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Ray Kurzweil (REPEAT);
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Steve Martin (REPEAT);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Bradley Cooper and Duran Duran (REPEAT);
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Tyler Perry;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Christoph Waltz;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Howard Stern (REPEAT);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Alfred Molina;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Tom Shadyac (REPEAT).

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• Filed in 30 Rock, American Idol, Late Night, Real Housewives, The Office
• Tags: 24-Hour Restaurant Battle, 30 Rock, American Idol, Archer, Bones, Community, Parks & Recreation, Real Housewives of New York City, The Office Dundies, The Vampire Diaries, The Voice

(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM | NBC
The Office – Rumors persist that Will Ferrell might be considered as Steve Carell‘s permanent replacement on The Office, and as the funny guy begins his guest stint tonight, fans will get the chance to evaluate whether or not he’s a good fit. Ferrell’s character? Deangelo Vickers, the new office manager who is subject to Michael’s training, and the staff’s attempts to kiss up.

8PM | FOX
American Idol – I wanna say it’s definitely Stefano who will get the boot tonight, but it’s not like there weren’t equally bad (Haley) performances (Lauren) last night (Casey).

8PM | NBC
Community – Abed takes a TV course, studying the classic sitcom … Who’s the Boss????

8:30PM | NBC – SERIES PREMIERE
The Paul Reiser Show – The Mad About You star tries to pull a Larry David by playing himself (or rather, a somewhat fictionalized version of himself) as he tries to restart his career years after his hit sitcom left the airwaves.

9PM | FOX
Bones – Jo Anne Worley guest stars as a pet psychic. Hello, welcome to 1975, Bones staff, and thanks for one of the most random guest stars ever.

9:30PM | NBC
Parks & Recreation – April and Andy host a dinner party for their friends. Can’t wait to see what’s on that menu.

10PM | NBC
30 Rock – TGS is on the chopping block, which prompts Liz to team up with the only she knows who can possibly located Tracy: Kenneth.

10PM | FX
Archer – Archer heads off to Russia to try and confirm who’s his daddy, but a lot of broken glass and his old nemesis Barry stand in his way.

10PM | FOOD NETWORK – 1ST SEASON FINALE
Ice Brigade – The team fashions a giant chessboard out of ice.

10PM | BRAVO
Real Housewives of New York City – I think we’re going to get the backstory on that “thug in a cocktail dress” comment that’s inspired a line of t-shirts when Alex and Sonja tussle tonight, though, unsurprisingly, Ramona gets into  a little war of her own when she makes a comment about Cindy, to someone else, who relates it back to Cindy.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– When Elena and Stefan attend a school dance, Klaus plots to nab Elena and sacrifice her to end the vampire curse on Vampire Diaries (8PM, The CW);
– A new Bowled Over obstacle is described as “full body bowling” on Wipeout (8PM, ABC);
– Percy sends Michael off to London with orders to kill Nikita, while Amanda forces Alex to submit to a lie detector test on Nikita (9PM, The CW);
– In the sixth season premiere of Randy Jackson Presents: America’s Best Dance Crew (10PM, MTV), the first five crews dance Ke$ha-inspired numbers;
– NYC bike messengers are the subject of the new reality series Triple Rush (10PM, Travel);
– “Dating Game Killer” Rodney Alcala is the topic on True Crime with Aphrodite Jones (10PM, ID);
– Chris looks for an old friend and uncovers a secret along the way on Eagleheart (11:59PM, Cartoon Network).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Matthew Morrison, Alexis Bledel and Queens of the Stone Age;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Ricky Gervais;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Caroline Kennedy;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Seth Myers and Carmelo Anthony;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Tyler Perry and Bright Eyes;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Anne Hathaway, Anthony Anderson and Sum 41;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Tom Arnold and Alison Brie;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Chris Pratt and Kathy Bates (REPEAT);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Kristen Bell and Jason Aldean;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Florence & the Machine (REPEAT).

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• Filed in 30 Rock, American Idol, Late Night, Real Housewives, The Office, TV Picks
• Tags: 30 Rock, American Idol, Archer, Bones, Community, Ice Brigade, Parks & Recreation, Real Housewives of New York City, The Office Will Ferrell, The Paul Reiser Show

(ALL TIMES ET)

8PM | FOX
American Idol – Adam Lambert returns to perform, as the first of the 13 finalists gets the boot in the results show. A few thoughts on last night’s performance episode: It’s great to see Randy finally stepping up and giving real critiques; while Steven Tyler was entertaining in the audition rounds, so far, he’s proven himself to be almost as useless as an incoherent Paula Abdul when it comes to constructive comments in the performance shows; and, though Jennifer Lopez has been my favorite of the judges this season, it was off-putting that she didn’t know who Ryan Adams is. Overall, I’m finding the season to be more pleasant than seasons past, but I’m also less compelled by any one contestant. They’re still, on the whole, picking bad songs, the females aren’t distinguishing themselves at all (except for the fact that they’re apparently raiding the old Dynasty wardrobe – those dated dresses!) and while lots of people seem to be impressed with Cowboy Scotty, am I the only one who thinks he’s just been doing an okay impersonation of Garth Brooks, in both his behavior and his performances?

8PM | CBS
The Big Bang Theory – All of a sudden, Leonard has too many women in his life: Priya, and Penny, who Priya wants out of his life.

9PM | FOX
Bones – Booth calls on his military training to help him track Jacob Broadsky, the guy who killed the Grave Digger and has now moved on to new targets. Elsewhere, ZZ Top-er Billy F. Gibbons returns as Angela’s daddy, who thinks it should be up to him to name her baby.

9PM | CBS
CSI – The CSIs investigate the murder of a former cop, who was convicted of killing his wife and was killed while serving his prison sentence. He also left behind a list of people he suspected in his wife’s murder, leading the team to reconsider his conviction in the process.

10PM | FX
Archer – Malory orders Lana to help actress Rona Thorne prepare to play a spy in her new movie, and takes the opportunity to pen a little role for herself in the thriller.

10PM | FOOD NETWORK
Ice Brigade – On the heels of last week’s working ice pool table, tonight the team builds an icy DJ booth, with working ice turntable, speakers and headphones.

10PM | MTV
Jersey Shore – The Situation, whose role on the show this season has been greatly diminished, tries to stir up trouble by poking Ronnie to find out who Sammi‘s been texting. Meanwhile, Vinny and Pauly road trip to Staten Island.

10PM | NGC
Ultimate Factories – This week’s episode goes inside the Jack Daniel’s factory in Tennessee, while next week’s installment revolves around a visit to a Coca-Cola factory in Baton Rouge. Clever scheduling.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– CNBC has a new installment of How I Made My Millions (9PM);
– On Man vs. Wild (9PM, Discovery), snakes, leeches and a torrential downpour greet Bear in Borneo;
– My Big Redneck Intervention (9PM, CMT) finds a country girl who got used to life in the big city returning home;
– Kate is hired by a singer who wants to convince his bandmates to allow their song to be used in a commercial on Fairly Legal (10PM, USA);
– A doctor is found murdered on a golf course on The Mentalist (10PM, CBS);
– Twins from his past visit Chris on Eagleheart (11:59PM, Adult Swim).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Seth Rogen;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Trey Parker and Matt Stone;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Jeff Greenfield;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Adam Sandler and Chris Colfer (REPEAT);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Aubrey Plaza and Ashton Kutcher (REPEAT);
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Pee-wee Herman and the cast of Sister Wives;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Henry Winkler and Cameron Diaz (REPEAT);
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Snooki and Martin Bashir (REPEAT);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Kevin McKidd and Wanda Sykes;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Brooklyn Decker (REPEAT).

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• Filed in American Idol, Late Night, TV Picks
• Tags: American Idol, Archer, Bones, CSI, Ice Brigade, Jersey Shore, The Big Bang Theory, The Mentalist, Ultimate Factories NGC

(ALL TIMES ET)

11:59PM | CARTOON NETWORK’S ADULT SWIM
Eagleheart – The show runs a mere 15-minutes long, but fans who’ve been tickled by Chris Elliott‘s uber-goofy sensibilities since the all-too-short-lived class Get a Life will appreciate his newest goofy comedy. Elliott stars as U.S. marshal Chris Monsanto, he of the ridiculous blond wig and addiction to vengeance. Vengeance against who? Vargas, the man who has killed every one of Monstanto’s partners. Monsanto puts the big baddie in his place in tonight’s opener, and then, in a development that tells you all you need to know about the silliness that’s to come, he nurses Vargas back to health … so he kill him the right way later on.

8PM | CBS
The Big Bang Theory – When Sheldon gets some negative feedback from his students via the Twitterverse, he turns to Penny for acting lessons to make him a better teacher.

8PM | NBC
Community – Abed and Jeff try to include a loner student in their fun when they plan a game of Dungeons and Dragons, but it’s another loner – Pierce – they should really be worried about.

8PM | THE CW
Vampire Diaries – Elena’s (Nina Dobrev) daddy issue in tonight’s episode: Her father, John Gilbert, returns to town.

9PM | FOX
Bones – When a man is murdered, disguised as a scarecrow and left in a remote field, Booth and Brennan have to work quickly to solve the crime, before an impending storm disturbs the evidence. And their suspects in the creepy crime: his wives, all three of them; turns out dude was a polygamist, married to three sisters.

9PM | CBS
CSI – Are the rumors true? Could William Petersen be making a brief return tonight as Grissom? He certainly factors into the mama drama (and mama-in-law drama) in tonight’s episode: Marlee Matlin guests as Grissom’s ex-girlfriend, a deaf professor who works at the college where Grissom’s mom also teaches, and where Grissom’s wife, Sara, has to investigate the murder of a faculty member.

9PM | NBC
The Office – Michael goes MIA after he makes Jim stop at a gas station bathroom, where Mr. Halpert leaves him when he gets an emergency phone call from Pam’s mom.

9:30PM | NBC
Parks and Recreation – On a show full of scene stealers, Chris Pratt, as resident shoeshine stand owner Andy, is one of the best, and most subtle. Tonight, Andy turns to newbie Chris (Rob Lowe) for advice on how to win April back, while Leslie gets advice on her time capsule project from guest star Will Forte.

10PM | FX
Archer – Has our favorite animated spy group been Madoff-ed? Malory decides to sell ISIS after she’s wiped out in a Ponzi scheme.

10PM | MTV
Jersey Shore – Will Sammi and Ronnie make it through this episode without another crying/screaming breakup/meltdown? Probably not, but Ronnie has bigger issues to deal with.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– It’s the sixth audition episode for this season of American Idol (8PM, Fox);
– It’s a safe bet that there’s nothing sweet about the gingerbread house obstacle on tonight’s Wipeout (8PM, ABC);
– Ed (William Shatner) gets jealous when a wealthy guy (guest star Lee Majors) wants to date Rosemary on $#*! My Dad Says (8:30PM, CBS);
– The Chief is unimpressed with Bailey’s efforts to integrate social media into the OR when she Tweets live from the operating room on Grey’s Anatomy (9PM, ABC);
– Season four kicks off on Million Dollar Listing (9PM, Bravo);
– Alex asks for Nikita’s help when she’s asked to kill a prince at a party, but when Division finds out Nikita’s present, Michael is ordered to kill her on a new Nikita (9PM, The CW);
– On Police Women of Cincinnati (9PM, TLC), Colleen brings down a drug dealer who’s operating in a public park, while Mandy helps a single mom whose ex-boyfriend is threatening her with a gun;
– Duran Duran, Kid Rock and Jason Derulo perform at the Super Bowl Fan Jam 2011 (9PM, VH1);
– Duff and the crew make cakes for the New York Rangers and Medieval Times on Ace of Cakes (10PM, Food Network);
– Six teens are put into tiny cells in a South Carolina prison in hopes of deterring them from continuing their wicked ways on Beyond Scared Straight (10PM, A&E);
– Jane is taken hostage by a murder suspect who wants t prove his innocence – by replacing the murder rap with a kidnapping charge? – on The Mentalist (10PM, CBS);
– Season four of Ultimate Factories premieres with visits to the factories that make the Dodge Challenger (10PM, NGC);
– Howard Stern is Dave‘s guest on The Late Show With David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS);
– And Episodes star Matt LeBlanc chats with Craiggers on The Late, Late Show With Craig Ferguson (12:37PM, CBS).

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• Filed in TV Picks
• Tags: Archer, Bones, Chris Elliott, Chris Pratt, Community, CSI, Eagleheart, Jersey Shore, Nina Dobrev, Parks and Recreation, The Big Bang Theory, The Office, Vampire Diaries, William Petersen CSI return

Here’s the official line-up from Fox, followed by the network’s description of its new series:

FOX PRIMETIME SCHEDULE: FALL 2009
(All Times ET/PT)

MONDAY
8PM – House
9PM – Lie to Me

TUESDAY
8PM – So You Think You Can Dance performance show

WEDNESDAY
8PM – So You Think You Can Dance results show
9PM – Glee

THURSDAY
8PM – Bones
9PM – Fringe

FRIDAY
8PM – Brothers
8:30PM – ‘Til Death
9PM – Dollhouse

SATURDAY
8PM – Cops
8:30PM – Cops
9PM – America’s Most Wanted
11PM – The Wanda Sykes Show (working title)
Midnight – “Animation Domination” encores

SUNDAY
7PM – The OT (NFL post-game show)
8PM – The Simpsons
8:30PM – The Cleveland Show
9PM – Family Guy
9:30PM – American Dad

…Read more

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• Filed in 24, American Idol, Comedy, Drama, Late Night, Reality, TV News
• Tags: 'Til Death, 24, America's Most Wanted, American Dad, American Idol, Bones, Brothers, Cops, Dollhouse, Family Guy, Fringe, Glee, House, Human Target, Lie to Me, NFL, Past Life, So You Think You Can Dance, Sons of Tucson, The Cleveland Show, The OT, The Simpsons, The Wanda Sykes Show