(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM | TEENNICK – 11TH SEASON PREMIERE
Degrassi: Now or Never – The classic teen series gets all telenovela-y again, as tonight’s premiere kicks off seven weeks in which a new episode airs each night, Monday thru Thursday. Tonight, Sav is crushing on a new girl, who he runs into in a surprising way at the big Keke Palmer concert that opens the seven-week run. Elsewhere, Drew and Bianca worry about the return of her ex, and Fiona has a thang for a model in Holly J’s class. And those rumors about something tragic occurring this season? All true. As always, Degrassi … it goes there.

8PM | FOX – 9TH SEASON PREMIERE
Hell’s Kitchen – One contestant ends up in the hospital and another trio is deemed, by Gordon Ramsay, “the three stooges” as 18 new cheftestants try to win a head chef gig, this season at BLT Steak in New York City.

8PM | LIFETIME
Magic Beyond Words: The J.K. Rowling Story – Any Harry Potter fan worth his or her Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans knows the backstory of Potter author Rowling’s welfare days, but this sweet little biopic, with Poppy Montgomery as Rowling, is still worth a view in honor of last week’s release of the final Potter flick.

9PM | TLC
Cake Boss – Buddy bakes a giant cheeseburger cake for National Hamburger Month, which leads to a burger-eating contest with the staff. Sounds like a White Castle contest I regrettably witnessed in college. White Castle + drunken 20-year-olds + a bet = Gore on that level of that episode of The Walking Dead where the zombies noshed on the horse.

9PM | TNT
The Closer – Capt. Raydor (Mary McDonnell) gets extra snoopy into Brenda’s department, just as the police department undergoes some major reorgs.

9PM | COMEDY CENTRAL
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia – Tonight’s four-episode marathon includes the very un-PC (which is probably a redundant statement where any Sunny ep is concerned), but hilarious “Sweet Dee’s Dating a Retarded Person,” in which no one’s sure about the mental capabilities of Dee’s new boyfriend, rapper Lil’ Kev.

9PM | SYFY
Warehouse 13 – Pete and Myka investigate the sudden memory losses of witnesses in a murder trial. Maybe they ran out of their gingko biloba supply.

10PM | SYFY
Alphas – Okay, they’re Alphas. But now, they have to learn to balance their regular lives with their not-so-regular skills.

10PM | SHOWTIME
Weeds – While Nancy tries to land a job at Doug’s new office, Silas tries to talk his mom into a new partnership.

10:30PM | SHOWTIME
The Big C – Hugh Dancy guest stars as a fellow patient Cathy meets on the first day of the clinical trials, while Sean frets his house is haunted and Adam gets into a throwdown at school.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Ashley goes on home visits with her final four picks, including one who ‘fesses up that he’s not ready to get engaged yet, on The Bachelorette (8PM, ABC);
– Jen and Evelyn‘s friendship is threatened when Evelyn confronts Jen about unflattering comments Jen made in a radio interview, on Basketball Wives (8PM, VH1);
– Carter plays babysitter to Allison’s kids when she goes out of town for a medical conference on Eureka (8PM, Syfy);
– On The Secret Life of the American Teenager (8PM, ABC Family), Adrian returns to school and walks head-on into a confrontation with Ben;
– The top 11 compete on Masterchef (9PM, Fox);
– Molly Ringwald and Lady Bunny guest on RuPaul’s Drag U (9PM, Logo);
– A 456-pound nurse tries to lose half her body weight in a year on Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition (10PM, ABC);
– Among the goodies coming into the shop on tonight’s back-to-back Pawn Star$ (10 and 10:30PM, History): a Godfather script signed by Al Pacino and a motorcycle once owned by Steve McQueen;
– On Rizzoli & Isles (10PM, TNT), Jane and Maura investigate the murder of a pregnant surrogate mother.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Bryan Cranston;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Daniel Radcliffe;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): John Prendergast;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Bono and The Edge;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Neil Patrick Harris;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Piers Morgan;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Aaron Paul and Roseanne;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Mila Kunis;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Elizabeth Banks;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Alex Prager.

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• Filed in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Late Night, TV Picks, Weeds
• Tags: Alphas, Cake Boss, Degrassi season 11, Hell's Kitchen season 9, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Magic Beyond Words: The J.K. Rowling Story, The Bachelorette, The Big C, The Closer, Warehouse 13, Weeds

(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM | CNN
Piers Morgan Tonight – Will Piers finally serve up the compelling interview style we’ve been waiting for since he starting lining up A-list chats with the likes of Oprah and George Clooney? He’s got his old pal Simon Cowell on the hot seat tonight, so here’s hoping …

7PM | BRAVO
Inside the Actors Studio – The Hangover and Limitless star Bradley Cooper becomes the first Actors Studio Drama School graduate to return for a sitdown with host James Lipton, who calls the occasion a dream event. “The night that one of our graduated students has achieved so much that he or she walks out on this stage and takes that chair will be the moment I’ve waited for since we began the school and the series 17 years ago,” the bearded and bespectacled one has said.

8PM | ABC – 15TH SEASON FINALE
The Bachelor – Emily or Chantal? At least Brad‘s making a choice this time. The annual After the Final Rose special follows (10PM), where Brad and his alleged future wife are introduced as a couple.

8PM | VH1
Basketball Wives Reunion, Part 2 – John Salley … really?

8PM | NBC
Chuck – The Old Spice dude – Isaiah Mustafa – returns as an operative who has Chuck worrying about his future as a spy guy, especially after he finds out that his old pal Casey has been embarking on secret missions.

8:30PM | FOOD NETWORK
Kid in a Candy Store – Adam takes sweet and sour trips: one to a NECCO factory and another to the place that makes the colorful, but super sour Airhead Xtremes Sweetly Sour Belts.

9PM | TLC
Cake Boss – Buddy bakes a cake for New York’s version of Punxsutawney Phil: Staten Island Chuck.

9PM | FOX
The Chicago Code – The Shawn Ryan drama continues to be a midseason treat, as Colvin (Jennifer Beals) directs Wysocki (Jason Clarke) and Evers (Matt Lauria) to hunt down a drug dealer whose goods sent a wealthy couple’s son into a coma. Along the way, the detectives uncover a big murder case and a club where the pretty women in attendance may be for hire.

9PM | COMEDY CENTRAL
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia – Tonight’s weekly four-episode block includes the season five gem “Paddy’s Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens,” in which Dennis (Glenn Howerton) invents the Dennis shirt pop-off pen and Charlie (Charlie Day) invents the titular kitty gloves, thereby solving a problem that plagues, well, no one but him.

10PM | BRAVO
Bethenny Ever After – Is mixing business and her marriage a good idea? We’ll see, as Bethenny asks biz whiz and hubby Jason to find out why liquor stores are having trouble keeping her Skinnygirl margarita mix in stock.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– House and team treat a bullfighter who’s attacked by a bull on House (8PM, Fox);
– Officer Reynolds is all up in the girls’ Cool-Aid as Rosewood celebrates Founder’s Day on Pretty Little Liars (8PM, ABC Family);
– Kate helps Larry see the error of his break-up method on Mad Love (8:30PM, CBS);
– Beverly Hills 90210 alum Gabrielle Carteris guests on The Event (9PM, NBC);
– Snooki is tonight’s guest on WWE Raw (9PM, USA);
– The series premiere of Wedding Wars (9PM, VH1) gives 12 engaged couples the chance to win their dream wedding;
– The festivities turn into a circus when a mom throws a circus-themed soiree on the season one finale of Outrageous Kid Parties (9:30PM, TLC);
– The series premiere of Beverly Hills Fabulous (10PM, VH1) revolves around the goings on at an African-American beauty salon (owned by actress Jackée‘s ex-hubby) in BH;
– Weeds star Guillermo Diaz guest stars as a man who hires Harry to help him stop his lover’s husband from keeping his wife locked up on Harry’s Law (10PM, NBC);
– Cheryl Tiegs and Johnny Weir are the judges as the contestants are challenged to make patriotic videos for the troops on RuPaul’s Drag Race (10PM, LOGO).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Adam Sandler and Donald Glover (REPEAT);
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Prince Zeid Raad (REPEAT);
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Jimmy Fallon (REPEAT);
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Charles Barkley;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Jane Lynch, Avril Lavigne and Chris Matthews;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Mila Kunis and Dr. Drew Pinsky (REPEAT);
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Ryan Phillippe, Mila Kunis and The Bachelor “winner”;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Holt McCallany and Tyra Banks;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Lewis Black;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Kevin Smith.

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• Filed in Chuck, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Late Night, TV Picks
• Tags: Basketball Wives reunion, Bethenny Ever After, Cake Boss, Chuck, Inside the Actors Studio Bradley Cooper, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Kitten Mittens, Kid in a Candy Store, Piers Morgan Simon Cowell, The Bachelor season finale, The Chicago Code

(ALL TIMES ET)

8PM | TLC – SERIES PREMIERE
The Unpoppables – Yes, it’s a show about balloon people, but not the clowns who make balloon dogs at kiddie birthday parties. Katie, Addi and Brian, the artists – and they are most definitely artists – of New Balloon Art, travel around the country fashioning spectacular balloon sculptures for events big and even bigger. Giant balloon Eiffel Towers, wearable balloon dresses and balloon sofas you can actually sit on are just a few of their most impressive works. In fact, the New Balloon Art crew’s handiwork is so compelling, I’d bet the other cable networks already have copycat series in the works.

Check local listings for time and channel | PBS KIDS GO! – 3RD SEASON PREMIERE
The Electric Company – Hey, you guuuuuys! The redo of the iconic kiddie series returns for its third season with a continuing emphasis on educating the 6-9-year-old set on STEM (science, technology, engineering and mathematics), via cool music videos, animation and celeb guests like Alan Cumming, Sherrod Small, Jenny Slate and Good Charlotte brothers Benji and Joel Madden.

8PM | NBC
Chuck – John Larroquette returns as Agent Roan Montgomery, who requires Chuck, Sarah and Casey’s assistance in Morocco. Meanwhile, back in Burbank, Morgan frets about meeting Alex’s mom, while Mama Bartowski (guest star Linda Hamilton) gets reacquainted with her fam.

8PM | FOX
House – Cuddy’s mom (guest star Candice Bergen) is admitted to the hospital, but guess who she doesn’t want treating her? Yep, House.

8PM | CBS
How I Met Your Mother – Zoey sets Ted up on a date with her cousin (guest star Katy Perry), which only serves to make him realize he’s got a thing for Zoey.

9PM | TLC
Cake Boss – In back-to-back episodes, Buddy and the Carlo’s crew make a shark cake, a giant hot air balloon cake and work with four adorable junior bakers from the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

9PM | FOX – SERIES PREMIERE
The Chicago Code – From The Shield creator Shawn Ryan, this cop drama stars Jennifer Beals as new Chicago police superintendent Teresa Colvin, who recruits her former partner, Jarek Wysocki (Brotherhood‘s Jason Clarke), to help her with her new corruption task force. Her first target: city alderman Ronin Gibbons (Delroy Lindo).

9PM | THE CW
Gossip Girl – Enjoy Chuck Bass while you can, especially now that his portrayer, Ed Westwick, is making noise about leaving the show.

9PM | ABC FAMILY
Greek – The college drama’s getting all controversial in its final season, as one of the characters investigates the morning-after pill the morning after her unplanned Homecoming hook up.

9PM | HBO
Reagan – Documentarian Eugene Jarecki (Why We Fight and Freakonomics) profiles President Ronald Reagan (who would have celebrated his 100th birthday on Feb. 6), including interviews with his family, friends and political colleagues, footage from his Hollywood days and rare photos from his pre-political days

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– The King’s Speech Best Actor Oscar nominee (and I’m betting, winner) Colin Firth is in the hot seat on Inside the Actors Studio (7PM, Bravo)
– On 90210 (8PM, The CW), Teddy finds out who’s blackmailing him, while Navid finds out the truth about Adrianna;
– Emily and Paige duke it out for a swim team anchor spot on Pretty Little Liars (8PM, ABC Family);
– On Being Human (9PM, Syfy), Josh makes friends with another werewolf who doesn’t like vampires;
– Four episodes of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (9PM, Comedy Central) includes the gem “Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad,” with 7th Heaven dad Stephen Collins as the twins’ real papa;
– In the “How to Build a Beating Heart” installment of Explorer (10PM, NGC), we learn how “tissue engineering” has allowed scientists to build replacement body parts, like skin, muscles and even major organs.
– The team has to protect the lone witness in a murder case, lest she become the next victim, on Hawaii Five-O (10PM, CBS);
– It’s the series premiere of Lizard Lick Towing (10PM, truTV), the All Worked Up spin-off that follows repo man Ron Shirley and his North Carolina crew;
– On Skins (10PM, MTV), Cadie gets out of the hospital, but she’s far from well;
– And Tabs tries to revamp a children’s hair salon in California on Tabatha’s Salon Takeover (10PM, Bravo).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Nick Swardson, Jeff Bridges and Far East Movement;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): James Franco (REPEAT);
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother author Amy Chua (REPEAT);
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Martin Lawrence and Steel Magnolia;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Mark Wahlberg, Paula Abdul and James Blunt;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Jamie Foxx;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Amy Sedaris, Nelly and Dr. Phil;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Brooke Shields, Alex Pettyfer, Gail Simmons and And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Dominic Monaghan, Gabrielle Union and Kurt Metzger;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Holt McCallany, Interpol and Plan B.

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• Tags: Cake Boss, Chuck, Gossip Girl, Greek, House, How I Met Your Mother, How I Met Your Mother Katy Perry, Reagan documentary, The Chicago Code, The Electric Company, The Unpoppables

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– An early reviewer of the MacGruber movie, based on the Saturday Night Live skit, says the flick is the best SNL-inspired movie since Wayne’s World. Party on, Garth, indeed.

– History Channel is launching its first reality competition series, Top Shot, in 2010, and in keeping with the network’s theme, the show will feature shooting contests, using various weaponry from the past.

– Musician-turned-horror filmmaker Rob Zombie may be directing an episode of CSI.

– The whole blackmail scandal involving pics of Full House and ER star John Stamos? The pics allegedly were just him posing with fans … hmmm, those were some pretty lame blackmailers, no?

– Showtime is launching a weekly news show about racing, called Inside NASCAR. The series premieres in February.

– TNT has greenlit a second season of the Dylan McDermott cop drama Dark Blue.

– Advertisers are pulling their commercials and one ethnic group is calling for a boycott, but it’s hard to believe anyone’s in such a tizzy about MTV’s new reality series Jersey Shore that they’d make death threats to people at the network.

– Four seasons in, and Dexter just earned the best ratings in the show’s history for last Sunday’s penultimate season four ep. The much-anticipated season finale airs Dec. 13 (9PM ET) on Showtime.

– TLC is airing a Cake Boss marathon on Dec. 28, and viewers get to pick the eps that will air. Vote here.

– And tonight on a very busy primetime schedule: Brick is having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit on The Middle (8:30PM, ABC); It’s the Glee fall finale (9PM, Fox), the last ep of the show ’til April(!); A scene from Speed is tested on MythBusters (9PM, Discovery); Jay wigs about Gloria and Manny’s Christmas plans on Modern Family (9PM, ABC); Felicity and The Unit cutie Scott Foley guest stars on Cougar Town (9:30PM, ABC); Babs Walters unveils her list of the Most Fascinating People of 2009 (10PM, ABC); Top Chef names a season six winner (10PM, Bravo); Christian finds himself deeply in debt on Nip/Tuck (10PM, FX); Adam tries to scarf down five huge sandwiches in five minutes on Man vs. Food (10PM, Travel); Steven Seagal: Lawman is back on the case on A&E (10PM); Guy Fieri guests on Dinner: Impossible (10PM, Food Network); Spectacle: Elvis Costello With … debuts season two as Elvis chats with Bono and The Edge (10PM, Sundance); Which team will win the Real World/Road Rules Challenge (10PM, MTV)?; and G4 premieres Campus PD (11PM), a reality series that follows the unique (read: lots o’ sloppy drunk students) challenges of being a college campus cop.

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• Filed in Saturday Night Live, TV News
• Tags: Cake Boss, Dark Blue season 2, Dexter season 4 finale, Jersey Shore boycott, John Stamos blackmail, MacGruber movie, Rob Zombie CSI, Showtime racing series

The Thanksgiving Day TV marathon … it’s probably responsible for thwarting more family dramas than we’ll ever know. When the fam gets to be too much, the boob tube can provide a bit of solace (i.e. escape), whether it be from a Brady Bunch marathon (“My nose, my nose, my nose!”) or the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade or NBC’s annual National Dog Show, hosted by the not real J. Peterman.

Whatever’s your TV pleasure – and your family drama to avoid – there’s surely something on TVScreener.com‘s Thanksgiving Day (and Friday, for nursing those tryptophan hangovers) Viewing Guide to make your Turkey Day less of a turkey. And don’t call me Shirley.

PS – A general channel surfing rule of thumb: Lifetime Movie Network … always something worthy of your guilty pleasure viewing hours there.

THURSDAY (all times ET)

MARATHONS:
Cake Boss (TLC): 6AM-3AM Friday

Supernanny (Style): 6AM-3AM Friday

House (USA): 7AM-7PM

The Godfather I, II and III (AMC): 7:30AM-8PM

Cool Tools (DIY): 8AM-4AM Friday

First 48 (A&E): 8AM-11PM

Genius of Photography (Ovation): 8AM-2AM Friday

James Bond movie marathon (SyFy): 8AM-5:30AM Friday (includes Dr. No, License to Kill, Live and Let Die, The Spy Who Loved Me, Tomorrow Never Dies, Casino Royale, For Your Eyes Only and The Man with the Golden Gun)

House Hunters and House Hunters International (HGTV): 8:30AM-6PM

The Brady Bunch (TV Land): 9AM-6PM

Cats 101 and Dogs 101 (Animal Planet): 9AM-7PM

Food Paradise (Travel): 9AM-8PM (including episodes on donuts, breakfast, ice cream, sandwiches, hot dogs, steak, hamburger, bar food, barbecue and more steak)

MythBusters (Discovery Channel): 9AM-3AM Friday

Top Chef (Bravo): 9AM-4:30PM

Band of Brothers (Spike): 9:30AM-9PM

The Closer (TNT): 10AM-6PM

My Fair Wedding with David Tutera (WE): 10AM-5PM

Snapped (Oxygen): 10AM-2AM (Saturday)

Biography on CNBC (CNBC): 11AM-6PM

Lockup (MSNBC): 11AM-5AM Friday

Home Alone (FX): Noon-midnight (is Home Alone the new A Christmas Story with this all-day airings?)

World’s Strictest Parents (MTV): Noon-8PM

Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo): 4:30PM-11PM

Pawn Stars (History): 8PM-3AM Friday

George Lopez (the sitcom) (Nick): 9PM-6AM on Friday

AND:

– Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (NBC): 9AM
– Tommy Boy (a classic) (TBS): 10AM
– The National Dog Show (NBC): Noon
– The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (Nick): 3PM
– A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (ABC): 8PM
– Beyonce: I Am … Yours (ABC): 9PM
– CNN Heroes: An All-star Tribute (CNN): 9PM
– Elf (USA): 9PM
– Love Actually (Lifetime): 9PM (PERFECT holiday movie. Trust me)
– Martha Stewart’s Christmas Special (FLN): 9PM
– NBC’s People of the Year (NBC): 9PM
– Punkin Chunkin (Science): 9PM
– Paul McCartney: Good Evening New York City (ABC): 10PM
– Great Performances with Mary J. Blige, Andrea Bocelli and David Foster (PBS): Check local listings for time and channel

FRIDAY (all times ET)

MARATHONS:
Say Yes to the Dress (TLC): 6AM-10PM

NCIS (USA): 6:30AM-12:30PM

Criminal Minds (A&E): 8AM-11PM

James Bond movie marathon (SyFy): 8AM-5:30AM Saturday (includes Thunderball, From Russia With Love, You Only Live Twice, Diamonds Are Forever, Casino Royale, GoldenEye, Goldfinger and Never Say Never Again)

Real Housewives of New Jersey (Bravo): 8AM-5PM

That ’70s Show (FX): 8AM-5PM

Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern (Travel): 9AM-8PM

Deadliest Catch (Discovery Channel): 9AM-3AM Friday

Mission: Organization (FLN): 9AM-3PM

Moonlight (Chill): 9AM-5PM

Sanford & Son (TV Land): 9AM-4PM

Everybody Hates Chris (BET): 10AM-6PM

Caught on Camera (MSNBC): 11AM-5AM Saturday

Law & Order (TNT): 11AM-7PM

Golden Girls (WE): Noon-7PM

Seinfeld (TBS): Noon-4PM

100 Greatest One-Hit Wonders of the ’80s (VH1 Classic): 1PM-6PM

Beverly Hills 90210 (SoapNet): 1PM-9PM

I’m Alive (Animal Planet): 1PM-10PM

White Collar (USA): 1:30-7PM

Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives (Food Network): 2PM-11PM

Ultimate Factories (NGC): 2PM-8PM

The Andy Griffith Show (TV Land): 4PM-10PM

100 Greatest Hard Rock Songs (VH1): 6PM-11PM

Til Debt Do Us Part (CNBC): 6PM-9PM

AND:

– Curious George: A Very Monkey Christmas (PBS): 9AM
– Storytellers: Foo Fighters (VH1): 11AM and 11PM
– Toys We Grew Up With (HGTV): 1PM
– 25 Great Holiday Ideas (HGTV): 3PM
– Bowfinger (my al-time favorite movie about Hollywood – Fake Purse Ninjas!) (Comedy Central): 4:45PM
– SpongeBob SquarePants (new episode) (Nick): 8PM
– Monk (penultimate episode of the series) (USA): 9PM
– White Collar (new episode) (USA): 10PM

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• Filed in Holiday Programming, TV News
• Tags: Brady Bunch, Cake Boss, CHarlie Brown Thanksgiving, Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, MythBusters, Real Housewives, Thanksgiving TV marathons, Thanksgiving TV schedule