(ALL TIMES ET)

11PM | MTV – SERIES PREMIERE
Chelsea Settles – 23-year-old Pittsburgh native Chelsea moves to Los Angeles to pursue her dream of a career in the fashion industry. Her extra challenge: she’s plus-sized, meaning she’s trying to break into an industry that is not so accepting of anyone who doesn’t wear size 6 or smaller. But I dare you not to root for Chelsea to succeed. Double dare you, even!

8PM | ABC – SERIES PREMIERE
Last Man Standing – Tim Allen‘s back in this sitcom which is exactly like Home Improvement, if a) Tim Taylor had daughters instead of sons and b) wasn’t funny.

8PM | CBS
NCIS – Abby (Pauley Perrette) learns something surprising about her family when she volunteers to be a kidney donor.

9PM | WE
Downsized – Laura and Todd consider going to counseling to work out their financial disagreements, while Bailey worries about paying for her senior photos.

9PM | THE CW
The Ringer – Gemma asks for a favor that could ruin Bridget’s life, and Henry gets some bad news about his writing career.

10PM | FOOD NETWORK
Chopped – Among the mystery basket goodies: edible flowers.

10PM | MTV – 2ND SEASON PREMIERE
I Used to Be Fat – The inspirational show where teens try to get healthy and change their lives before heading off to college returns with Josh, a 310-pound teen who wants to lose weight so he can play sports with his family.

10PM | NBC
Parenthood – Sarah and Mark fans, turbulence ahead: Seth (John Corbett) returns.

10PM | FX
Sons of Anarchy – Oh, Juice. That missing package of drugs is causing all kinds of problems for the club, as is the pressure Juice is under from new lawman Roosevelt. Meanwhile, Clay’s plan for Tara is making for some very scary potential storylines in Charming, i.e. the show has gotten soooo good in the last few weeks.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Mike Epps hosts the sixth annual Hip Hop Awards (8PM, BET);
– The players try to win letters from home on The Biggest Loser (8PM, NBC);
– Someone gets kicked to the curb on Dancing With the Stars (8PM, ABC);
– Hetty reveals some details to Callen about his past on NCIS: Los Angeles (9PM, CBS);
– On Unforgettable (10PM, CBS), when a crime scene is destroyed by a fire, Carrie’s memory of the scene provides the only clues for a murder investigation.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Merle Haggard and Will Arnett;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Hugh Jackman (REPEAT);
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Mark Cuban (REPEAT);
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Matthew Broderick;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Julie Bowen;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Don Rickles;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Samuel L. Jackson;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Steven Wright;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Roy Choi.

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• Filed in Late Night, Sons of Anarchy, TV Picks
• Tags: Chelsea Settles, Chopped, Downsized, I Used to Be Fat MTV, NCIS, Parenthood, Sons of Anarchy, The Ringer

(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | FX
Sons of Anarchy – Gemma makes friends with another wife, and Clay and the club members make a surprising, and unwelcome, discovery when they set off on a new business venture.

8PM | FOX
Glee – Brittany offers to help Kurt with his campaign for student body president, while Rachel’s mama (guest star Idina Menzel) returns and duets with Rachel.

8PM | CBS
NCIS – The team is shocked when a Marine shows up at his homecoming party with a fatal stab wound, but even more surprising is his hidden past.

9PM | BBC AMERICA
24 Hours in the ER – You’ll be thankful you’re healthy, or be inspired to get healthy, after a look at this moving documentary series, which follows the around the clock action at the King’s College Hospital ER in London.

9PM | WE
Downsized – In a scenario that’s all too familiar to too many families, the Bruces are finally in a better place financially, when yet another medical crisis strikes one of the kids. Meanwhile, Laura, facing a potential job loss because of budget cuts in her school district, comes up with a clever idea to keep her position safe.

9PM | FOX
New Girl – The fellas help Jess get her stuff out of her cheating ex’s apartment.

9PM | The CW
Ringer – I confess, this is my new guilty pleasure of the fall season. Tonight, Bridget finds out some veeery interesting info on Andrew, as well as a clue that might lead her to the person who wants to kill Siobhan.

9:30PM | FOX
Raising Hope – Burt finds out a secret about Sabrina’s family, which leads her to introduce the Chances to her dad (guest star Stephen Root).

10PM | FOOD NETWORK
Chopped – In the finale of the champions tournament cherry soda and catfish are among the mystery basket ingredients standing between the final four and that $50,000 prize.

10PM | NBC
Parenthood – Kristina worries about Crosby and Adam’s new business, while Sarah worries about remaining close to Amber, who’s off enjoying her independence.

10PM | MTV
Teen Mom: Check Up with Dr. Drew – In part one of the post-season three reunion, Dr. Drew grills Farrah and Amber about their shenanigans throughout the season.

11PM | MTV – 1ST SEASON FINALE
Awkward – It’s winter formal time, and Jenna hopes that means Matty will ask her to be his date. But he’s not the only dude who wants to spend time with her. Her bigger, more pressing issue: that the nasty Sadie seems seriously committed to making sure Jenna is not crowned princess of the big dance.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– The Biggest Loser (8PM, NBC) contestants have their gym time restricted;
– On the Dancing With the Stars results show (9PM, ABC), the latest castoff is revealed and the Script performs;
– Callen continues to search for clues about his past on NCIS: Los Angeles (9PM, CBS);
– While Rachel goes into overdrive for the Oscars on The Rachel Zoe Project (9PM, Style), Rodger, he of the ridiculously spelled name, goes to Vegas to party with his friends;
– Style Exposed: Sperm Donor (9PM, Style) unfolds the story of a man named Ben, a sperm donor whose, ahem, deposits, have resulted in more than 70 children;
– New Tosh.0 on Comedy Central (10PM);
– Carrie tries to help a young boy remember the murder he witnessed, so he can help police catch the killer, on Unforgettable (10PM, CBS).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Marisa Tomei;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Seth Rogen;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Melinda Gates;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Jack Hanna and Anna Faris;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Lauren Graham and Seth MacFarlane;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Glen Campbell;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Foo Fighters;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Mary Lynn Rajskub;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Butch Walker.

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• Filed in Late Night, Teen Mom, TV Picks
• Tags: 24 Hours in the ER, Awkward MTV, Chopped, Downsized, Glee, NCIS, New Girl, Parenthood, Raising Hope, Ringer, Sons of Anarchy, Teen Mom: Check Up with Dr. Drew

(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM | WE – 2ND SEASON PREMIERE
Downsized – The Bruce family is back for another season, and though, at first, their financial situation appears to have improved, unexpected health woes challenge them again. In tonight’s premiere, husband Todd wants to use the fam’s savings to buy a house instead of renting, but wife Laura is skittish about emptying their bank account. The unfortunately well-timed series may hit a little too close to home for a lot of people, but I highly recommend giving it a chance … the Bruces are an endearing family, and though you’ll probably yell at the TV screen with some of their financial decisions, it’ll also make you rethink some of your own.

9PM | CURRENT
50 Documentaries to See Before You Die, Part 3 – Henry Rollins and Michael Moore are among the interviewees as Morgan Spurlock continues his countdown of the best documentaries of the last 25 years (which, in tonight’s episode, includes Bansky‘s Exit Through the Gift Shop).

9PM | TNT – 2ND SEASON FINALE
Memphis Beat – Dwight (Jason Lee) tries to keep his personal life separate from his work life, but that becomes impossible when his co-workers find out he has a new girlfriend.

9PM | TLC – 9TH SEASON PREMIERE
What Not to Wear – Jenny McCarthy and Dancing With the Stars‘ Cheryl Burke ask Clinton and Stacy to makeover their assistant, Becky, who spends so much time keeping their lives running that she hasn’t had enough time to focus on her own.

10PM | FOOD NETWORK
Chopped – Apples, onions and udon noodles are among the ingredients in the mystery baskets (let’s hope not all in the same basket).

10PM | WE – SERIES PREMIERE
Family Restaurant – Following the adventures of the Quon family, whose oldest son, Miles, is trying to modernize the fam’s Edmonton Chinese restaurant, The Lingnan.

10PM | MTV
Teen Mom – Maci struggles with her classwork while Tyler and Catelynn finally graduate, but it’s Amber whose life continues to spiral out of control as she has a blowout fight with her mother.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Four bakers compete to see who gets to whip up treats for Comic Con on Cupcake Wars (8PM, Food Network);
– Aria wavers with her feelings about Jason on Pretty Little Liars (8PM, ABC Family);
– Alli wants her parents to accept Dave on Degrassi (9PM, TeenNick);
– On the season finale of The Nine Lives of Chloe King (9PM, ABC Family), Chloe makes secret plans to meet with her dad, while Alek is heartbroken when he overhears her admit she’s in love with Brian;
– Billy battles geese and a bobcat on back-to-back episodes of Billy the Exterminator (10PM, A&E);
– You’ve seen the promos … someone gets shot on the HawthoRNe season three finale (10PM, TNT);
– Jenna worries that Matty doesn’t see her as girlfriend material when she gets a stalker on Awkward (11PM, MTV).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Jason Momoa and Anne Hathaway;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Matt Long;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): The STS-135 astronauts;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Ray LaMontagne (REPEAT);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Ryan Reynolds, Matt Nathanson and Sheryl Crow (REPEAT);
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Jamie Foxx;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Alec Baldwin (REPEAT);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Rosie Perez;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Evan Glodell (REPEAT).

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• Filed in Documentary, Late Night, Teen Mom, TV Picks
• Tags: 50 Documentaries To See Before You Die, Chopped, Downsized season 2, Family Restaurant series premiere, Memphis Beat season 2 finale, Teen Mom, What Not to Wear season 9

(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | MTV
Teen Mom – Guess who isn’t happy that Maci has boyfriend Kyle living with her and Bentley? Yep, Ryan. And guess who Gary won’t join for Leah‘s birthday party? Yep, Amber. And guess who teams up with his friend and tries to outsmart the FBI? Sorry, my friend … that’s another show (see below).

9PM | CURRENT – PART 2
50 Documentaries to See Before You Die – Week two of the Morgan Spurlock-hosted miniseries covers March of the Penguins, Inside Job, Jesus Camp and Brother’s Keeper, including interviews with Penelope Spheeris, Al Gore and Stacy Peralta.

9PM | USA – 3RD SEASON FINALE
White Collar – Neal and Mozzie try to outsmart the FBI during the agency’s investigation into an object which Neal and Mozzie have in their possession.

10PM | ID – SERIES PREMIERE
Big Law: Deputy Butterbean – 400-pound heavyweight boxer Eric Esch, known as “Butterbean,” has turned crimefighter, and now battles evil drug dealers in his Jasper, Alabama hometown in this new reality series.

10PM | FOOD NETWORK
Chopped – So harsh: the dessert basket contains borscht soup.

11PM | MTV
Awkward – Jenna tries to get Matty to define their relationship.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Four bakers whip up sports-themed treats to win the chance to bake goodies for the ESPY Awards on Cupcake Wars (8PM, Food Network);
– The top 10 compete on Hell’s Kitchen (8PM, Fox);
– On Pretty Little Liars (8PM, ABC Family), Emily goes with Spencer when she decides to find out what Jason is hiding at his house, and Aria worries about her growing attraction to Jason;
– Bucking Broncos and the Monkey Jiggalator are among the obstacles on Wipeout (8PM, ABC);
– Holly J. finds a kidney match, but has trouble asking the person to be her donor on Degrassi (9PM, TeenNick);
– A storm traps Dwight and Whitehead in a mansion, where they get involved in a whodunit mystery on Memphis Beat (9PM, TNT);
– On Aftermath with William Shatner (10PM, Bio), The Shat wraps his second season with an interview with tobacco industry whistleblower Jeffrey Wigand;
– Annie’s job opportunity could negatively impact her relationship with her sister on Covert Affairs (10PM, USA);
– Miles plans to leave James River on HawthoRNe (10PM, TNT).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Nick Swardson and James Franco;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Jay Bahadur;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): The Cars;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Eddie Vedder and Cameron Diaz (REPEAT);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Jesse Eisenberg and The Situation;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Roseanne Barr;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Jessica Alba and Luke Bryan;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Katie Holmes;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Chris Gorham (REPEAT);
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Laurie Ann Gibson.

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• Filed in Late Night, Teen Mom, TV Picks
• Tags: 50 Documentaries To See Before You Die, Awkward MTV, Big Law: Deputy Butterbean, Chopped, Teen Mom, White Collar

(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM | CURRENT  – SERIES PREMIERE
50 Documentaries To See Before You Die – Super Size Me filmmaker Morgan Spurlock hosts this five-part series spotlighting the best documentaries made in the last 25 years, including, of course, Hoop Dreams, Exit Through the Gift Shop, Bowling for Columbine, The War Room and, kicking things off in tonight’s premiere, Seth Gordon‘s King of Kong: A Fist Full of Quarters.

9 and 9:30PM | A&E – 4TH SEASON PREMIERE
Billy the Exterminator – Billy hits the road this season, stopping first in Texas to track down an alligator hiding in a family’s yard, then heading off to Phoenix, where a family is being tormented by javelinas.

9PM | DISCOVERY – SHARK WEEK PREMIERE
Killer Sharks – The special examines how a series of shark attacks off the beaches of South Africa in 1957 helped shape how humans view our water-dwelling friends. Frienemies? Enemies? OK, those scary, sharp-toothed devils that scare the bejesus out of us.

9PM | USA
White Collar – Eliza Dushku guest stars as an Egyptologist who goes undercover with Neal to investigate Matthew Keller, who ends up revealing his true motive for being in New York to Neal.

10PM | FOOD NETWORK
Chopped – Chard and an “eight-armed ingredient” haunt the mystery baskets.

10PM | MTV
Teen Mom – Catelynn and Tyler come to the realization that their new freedom from their ‘rents is going to require them to get jobs. Maci and Ryan, meanwhile, fight about who gets Bentley for his birthday, while Amber melts down about being separated from Leah.

11PM | MTV
Awkward – Jenna assumes Matt wants to take their relationship public when he invites her to a party. Uh, wrong. But that’s okay … the soiree turns out to be a good opportunity for her to bond with Jake.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– The bakers on Cupcake Wars (8PM, Food Network) compete to whip up treats for a Miss USA celebration;
– The top 12 compete on Hell’s Kitchen (8PM, Fox);
– Capt. Ahab (William Hurt) meets up with the whale on the conclusion of Moby Dick (8PM, Encore);
– Emily’s so stressed she ends up in the hospital on Pretty Little Liars (8PM, ABC Family);
– A retired rocker and a poker player are among the competitors on Wipeout (8PM, ABC);
– On Degrassi (9PM, TeenNick), both Anya and Fiona flirt with some dangerous drugs;
– On Memphis Beat (9PM, TNT), Dwight and Whitehead try to calm down a man who has taken hostages at a local bank because he claims he’s the victim of a scam;
– Annie has to tell the wife of one of her college professors (and a secret CIA agent) that the man was killed on Covert Affairs (10PM, USA);
– Interior designers Tanya McQueen and Tracy Hutson (wife of Samantha Who? and 7th Heaven star Barry Watson) star in the new reality series Picker Sisters (10PM, Lifetime), in which they travel around the country and scope out unique home furnishings.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Shaquille O’Neal and Brian Posehn;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Jason Bateman;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Al Hunt;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Ricky Gervais and Cat Deely;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Katie Holmes;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Kathy Griffin;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Hank Azaria;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Danny McBride;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Kristen Bell;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Dan Harmon (REPEAT).

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• Filed in Documentary, Late Night, Movies, Teen Mom, TV Picks
• Tags: 50 Documentaries To See Before You Die, Awkward MTV, Billy the Exterminator season 4, Chopped, Morgan Spurlock, Shark Week, Teen Mom, White Collar