(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM, SUN | ABC – 7TH SEASON FINALE
Desperate Housewives – The two-hour season ender has Renee bumming that her ex is remarrying, Tom and Lynnette trying to reconnect, Susan being welcomed back to the block with a party, Gaby finding out who’s stalking her, Bree wondering if her new dude is gay and … a murder!

11:30PM, SAT | NBC
Saturday Night Live – The Office and Hangover 2 star Ed Helms hosts the penultimate episode of the season, with Paul Simon as the musical guest.

8PM, SUN | ABC – 8TH SEASON FINALE
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition – While Ty and the crew build his family a new home, Patrick, a 9-year-old boy with brittle bone disease, travels to Hollywood to meet the cast of The Middle, including Patrick’s hero, The Middle star Atticus Shaffer.

8PM, SUN | STYLE – 3RD SEASON PREMIERE
Jerseylicious – The new season kicks off with Olivia reuniting with her ex, while Gigi tries to get used to being single.

8PM, SUN | FOX
The Simpsons – When the fam finds a set of keys that allow them to open every door in Springfield, Lisa discovers a secret classroom beneath Springfield Elementary.

8PM, SUN | CBS – 22ND SEASON FINALE
Survivor: Redemption Island – A three-hour block includes the season finale and the live reunion special, where the jury decides who will win the million-dollar prize.

9PM, SUN | NBC
The Celebrity Apprentice – In part one of the season finale, past celeb winners Joan Rivers, Bret Michaels and Piers Morgan return to help The Donald decide which of this season’s contestants should make the final two. After choosing them (can it really be anyone but John Rich and Marlee Matlin?), the final celebs must design packaging for a retro soda can and then shoot a commercial for the product.

10PM, SUN | A&E
Breakout Kings – A convict breaks out with plans to kidnap, and kill, a TV host.

10PM, SUN | DISCOVERY
Killing Bin Laden – The scoop on the Bin Laden military operation, with details on the Seal Team 6 and Bin Laden’s sea burial.

10PM, SUN | BRAVO
Real Housewives of Orange County – When the women head to Texas with Gretchen, Alexis lets her guard down and talks about her life with Jim. Meanwhile, back in Orange County, Tamra‘s legal woes with Simon become an issue between her and Jeana when Jeana blabs to the media about her take on Tamra and her ex.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– A Time Lord’s distress call sends the Doctor off on a mission that puts his companions and the TARDIS in jeopardy on Doctor Who (Sat., 9PM, BBCA);
– Off the Rez (Sat., 9PM, TLC) is a documentary that follows Native American basketball player Shoni Schimmel and her mother as they move off their Oregon reservation and try to secure a college scholarship for Shoni;
– Robert Pattinson, Reese Witherspoon and Hugh Laurie are the guests on The Graham Norton Show (Sat., 10PM, BBCA);
– A valet’s error sends two Philly women scrambling for their impounded car on Parking Wars (Sat., 10PM, A&E);
– Gail counsels a couple $100,000 in debt on Til Debt Do Us Part (Sat., 10PM, CNBC);
– Renee cuts loose during girls night out on Mob Wives (Sun., 8PM, VH1);
– Trevor’s marital woes impact his work on Army Wives (Sun., 9PM, Lifetime);
– Peter home schools Meg and Chris when Lois goes to Paris on Family Guy (Sun., 9PM, Fox);
– The detectives investigate a hacker’s murder on Law & Order: Criminal Intent (Sun., 9PM, USA);
– Cleveland and the fam go to Comic Con in the season two finale of The Cleveland Show (Sun., 9:30PM, Fox);
– Mary plays go-between for a witness and a suspect who’ve fallen for each other on In Plain Sight (Sun., 10PM, USA);
– It’s Christmastime on Treme (Sun., 10PM, HBO).

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• Filed in Late Night, Real Housewives
• Tags: Breakout Kings, Celebrity Apprentice, Desperate Housewives, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Jerseylicious, Killing Bin Laden, Real Housewives of Orange County, Saturday Night Live, Survivor Redemption Island, The Simpsons

(ALL TIMES ET)

9:30PM, SUN | SHOWTIME – 1ST SEASON FINALE
Episodes – With the Pucks! pilot finished, Sean and Beverly get ready to return to England. But when Sean goes to Matt’s house to say goodbye, he makes a shocking discovery that could put personal and professional relationships in serious jeopardy.

10PM, SAT | COMEDY CENTRAL
Patrice O’Neal: Elephant in the Room– The funny guy (and The Office guest star) riffs on everything from safe sex to being harassed.

8PM, SUN | CBS – 18TH SEASON PREMIERE
The Amazing Race: Unfinished Business – 11 former teams return to take another shot at the one meeeeellion dollar prize, including Kent and Vyxsin, brothers Jet and Cord and last season’s father and daughter team, Gary and Mallory.

8PM, SUN | ABC
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition – Dane Cook, Terry Fator and Duff Goldman help the team give a couple – including a soldier who was wounded during a shooting rampage at Fort Hood, Texas – their dream wedding and a new home.

8PM, SUN | FOX
The Simpsons – Halle Berry is the guest voice as Bart and Homer become the stars of Hollywood awards season when Homie stars in Bart’s film project: Angry Dad.

9PM, SUN | HBO
Big Love – Everyone’s against Barb’s pursuit of the priesthood, but she’s willing to do whatever she has to to make it happen, including divorcing the increasingly hapless Bill.

9PM, SUN | ABC
Desperate Housewives – Keith asks Bree to move to Florida with him, so he can be closer to his son.

9PM, SUN | NBC
Saturday Night Live Backstage – The new two-hour special is packed with fun fan scoop, including clips of favorite skits, interviews with the cast and various celebs’ commentary (including recent scene stealer Jon Hamm) on what it’s like to host the classic comedy series.

9PM, SUN | FOOD NETWORK – 1ST SEASON FINALE
Worst Cooks in America – Who are you rooting for: Team Joshie or Team Georg?

10PM, SUN | BRAVO
Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion, Part II – Kim and NeNe are still getting into it as the cast discusses season three with Andy Cohen, but Khandi also lets Kim know how fed up she is with her taking advantage of Khandi with her cheesy singing career.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– In the Primeval fourth season finale (Sat., 8PM, BBCA), Danny pops in with a warning for the team;
– Annie is stuck in purgatory in the Being Human third season premiere (Sat., 9PM, BBCA);
– Jerseylicious: Inside the Jungle (Sun., 8PM, Style) takes fans behind the scenes at the Gatsby Salon;
– In the series premiere of Secret Service Files (Sun., 8PM, NGC), agents raid a Bogota counterfeit plant where more than $25 million in fake U.S. money is made every year;
– The East tries to repeat as NBA All-Star Game (Sun., 8:30PM, TNT) champs;
– Abby tries to get one of her partners to take Hank’s case when she has to recuse herself on Californication (Sun., 9PM, Showtime);
– Chris becomes a puppeteer on Family Guy (Sun., 9PM, Fox);
– Mack Trucks CEO Denny Slagle is this week’s Undercover Boss (Sun., 9PM, CBS);
– Justin Timberlake guest stars on The Cleveland Show (Sun., 9:30PM, Fox);
– Horatio’s ultimate foe, the man who killed his wife, returns on CSI: Miami (Sun., 10PM, CBS).

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• Filed in Real Housewives, Saturday Night Live, TV Picks, TV Specials
• Tags: Big Love, Desperate Housewives, Episodes, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Justin Timberlake The Cleveland Show, Patrice O'Neal: Elephant in the Room, Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion Part II, Saturday Night Live Backstage, The Amazing Race: Unfinished Business, The Simpsons, Worst Cooks in America finale

(ALL TIMES ET)

8PM, SUN | CBS
53rd Annual Grammy Awards – Movie awards shows can drag on forever, but think of this annual music kudosfest as more of a concert. On the star-packed bill: Justin Bieber, who performs with Usher and Jaden “Karate Kid” Smith, Mick Jagger, Barbra Streisand, Rihanna with Drake, Eminem, Lady Gaga, Cee Lo Green, Bruno Mars, Katy Perry and Lady Antebellum. Statues will be doled out, too, of course, with Eminem leading all contenders with 10 nominations, followed by Mars with seven and Jay-Z, Gaga and Lady Antebellum with six each.

9PM, SAT | HBO
The Sunset Limited – Tommy Lee Jones directs, executive produces and co-stars in this adaptation of Cormac McCarthy‘s play about an atheist professor (Jones) who tries to commit suicide, and the religious ex-con (Samuel L. Jackson) who saves him.

11:30PM, SAT | NBC
Saturday Night Live – Russell Brand hosts, Chris Brown performs … Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?

9PM, SUN | HBO
Big Love – The show’s final season is at the halfway mark after this episode, in which Bill battles with the Mormon church for his Senate goals, Cara Lynn’s adoption hits a snag and Lois tries to rewrite the truth about her marriage to Frank.

9PM, SUN | ABC
Desperate Housewives – Mike investigates whether Zach was involved in Paul’s shooting, but more importantly, J.R. Ewing guest stars again!

9PM, SUN | FOX
Family Guy – When he and Brian create a ruckus in a movie theater, Peter and the pooch are ordered to attend AA meetings, but they don’t really take with Peter.

9PM, SUN | FOOD NETWORK
Worst Cooks in America – After the final four compete in a “culinary decathalon,” their families show up and ask each of them to make a favorite dish.

9:30PM, SUN | SHOWTIME
Episodes – Bev thinks Sean is having an affair with Morning, so she … well, she does something that she’s not going to be able to take back, setting up a tension-filled season finale next week.

10PM, SUN | ANIMAL PLANET – 2ND SEASON PREMIERE
Fatal Attractions – New Joisey police discover a dangerous tiger stalking around a residential neighborhood. And no, it’s not Snooki.

10PM, SUN | BRAVO
The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion, Part 1 – The ladies rehash the drama of season three, and, no surprise, much of it revolves around NeNe and Kim.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– The BAFTAs, the “British Oscars,” air on BBC America (Sun., 8PM), and The King’s Speech is the favorite there, too;
– Mayor Booker kicks off his reelection campaign on Brick City (Sun., 8PM, Sundance);
– On The Simpsons (Sun., 8PM, Fox), a lonely Valentine’s Day sends Moe on the prowl to meet women, with Homer as his wingman (D’oh!);
– On Californication (Sun., 9PM, Showtime), a naughty photo of Hank may land him in even more hot water, and without an attorney;
– David helps a bride whose wedding theme is mini trucks (huh?!) on My Fair Wedding With David Tutera (Sun., 9PM, WE);
– And LeBron James, Kevin Garnett, Shaquille O’Neal, Dwight Howard and Steve Nash are among the NBAers guest starring on The Cleveland Show (Sun., 9:30PM, Fox).

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• Filed in Award shows, Real Housewives, Saturday Night Live, TV Picks
• Tags: Big Love, Desperate Housewives, Episodes, Family Guy, Fatal Attractions, Grammys, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Saturday Night Live, The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion, The Sunset Limited, Worst Cooks in America

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Highlights, or maybe lowlights if you’re as tired of the Michael Jackson coverage as I now officially am, of yesterday’s Staples Center memorial to the late pop star.

– The Jonas Brothers and Demi Lovato are headed back to Camp Rock. Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam will air next year on the Disney Channel.

– There’ll be two new regulars on Desperate Housewives this season, though one of them is a familiar face. Andrea Bowen, as Julie, the daughter of Teri Hatcher‘s Susan, rejoins the show as a regular cast member in the season premiere, while Mairara Walsh, who popped up at the end of last season as Gaby’s wild child niece Ana, also becomes a regular this season.

– EW.com says CSI: Miami will blast back to the past for its season premiere, in which we learn about the early days of Horatio’s (David Caruso) team.

– McDreamy and McSteamy are getting some big-screen love: Patrick Dempsey has signed on to play a philandering doctor who’s having a fling with Jennifer Garner in the romantic comedy Valentine’s Day, while Dempsey’s Grey’s Anatomy cohort Eric Dane has also joined the cast as a pro quarterback, who’s rumored to be the boyfriend of Bradley Cooper‘s character.

– The Lost leaders are looking to fans for a theme song.

– Three’s Company star Joyce DeWitt isn’t this week’s only ’70s TV star busted for DUI. Add Eddie “Carmine, The Big Ragoo” Mekka, from Laverne & Shirley, to the shameful list.

– CBS has set up a Website for fans who are dreading the Sept. 18 series finale of Guiding Light. The site features video clips from the show’s 57-year history, as well as interviews and photos from the show’s annual Bauer 4th of July BBQ.

– And tonight in primetime:

– The top 12 perform on So You Think You Can Dance (8PM ET), Fox)
– Couples compete on the big red balls on Wipeout (8PM, ABC)
– More auditions on America’s Got Talent (9PM, NBC)
– Ayiiia and Emilee run through an entire relationship in one episode on The Real World: Cancun (MTV, 10PM)
– It’s a casino-themed episode of Dinner: Impossible (10PM, Food Network), from Mohegan Sun in Connecticut
– Neil Patrick Harris guest stars on Bravo’s Top Chef Masters (10PM)
– And on the sixth season finale of Reno 911! (10:30PM, Comedy Central), Raineesha and Weigel go to couples therapy together, and yes, there’s kissing involved

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• Filed in TV News
• Tags: Andrea Bowen, Camp Rock 2, CSI Miami season premiere, Desperate Housewives, Eddie Mekka, Eric Dane Valentine's Day, Guiding Light finale, Joyce DeWitt, Michael Jackson memorial service, Patrick Dempsey Valentine's Day

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

-Just not a good month for TV celebs: On the heels of the deaths of Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, MTV video legend Michael Jackson and pitchman Billy Mays, The Gale Storm Show and My Little Margie star Gale Storm – one of TV’s first big stars – died on Saturday at age 87, while comedian, celeb impersonator and frequent late-night TV guest Fred Travalena died Sunday at age 66 after a battle with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.

– The B-Side Blog has a sneak peek at the new Big Brother house, where the latest round of reality TV hamsters will move in on July 9.

– For TV fans, this is the year to attend Comic-Con in San Diego. The TV-heavy line-up includes panels with the casts of Lost, 24, Chuck, Bones, Burn Notice, Glee, MythBusters, The Cleveland Show, Futurama, Heroes and upcoming series V, Flash Forward and Human Target.

– No good Oprah deed goes unpunished? May be, as her gifts to her staff – a fancy luxury cruise – is reportedly going to cost each of them $1,000 in taxes.

– As the Sept. 18 series finale of long-running daytime soap Guiding Light grows sadly closer, 60 Minutes is planning a special Sept. segment that includes interviews with cast, while the Daytime Emmy telecast on Aug. 30 will also include a special tribute. Meanwhile, The Hollywood Reporter‘s Roger Friedman claims the show’s sponsor, Procter & Gamble, is purposely trying to turn fans against the show because the company wants out of the soap biz.

– Casting news: Reaper star Missy Peregrym has signed on to star in ABC’s Canadian cop drama Copper, while Desperate Housewives guest star T.J. Ramini – he played Gabby’s trainer, Yaniv – will be a recurring star on season eight of 24, where he’ll play Tarin, a cohort of the Middle Eastern leader who’ll be played by Anil Kapoor.

– And tonight in primetime:

– The premiere of Oxygen’s Dance Your Ass Off (10PM ET), a Biggest Loser-meets-Dancing with the Stars/So You Think You Can Dance-ish reality competition
– Brenda and Fritz clash when they work together on a missing person/murder case on a new ep of The Closer (9PM, TNT)
– New York will apparently be unemployed after the season finale of New York Goes to Work (10PM, VH1)
– Zoey wigs when she loses her first patient on Nurse Jackie (10:30PM, Showtime)
– Celia’s baaaa-ack – and living in Nancy’s garage, while Agent Roy Till also pops back into Nancy’s life on a new Weeds (10PM, Showtime)
– Buddy bakes a cake and plans to stash live birds inside of it on Cake Boss (10PM, TLC)
– Kathy Griffin hangs with Paris Hilton (is getting off the D-list really worth that?) on My Life on the D-List (10PM, Bravo)
– Guy Fieri hits the road for pumpkin-oatmeal pancakes and bacon-wrapped meatloaf on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives (10PM, Food Network)
– And it’s down to five on The Bachelorette (8PM, ABC)

• 3 Comments
• Filed in 24, Reality, TV News
• Tags: 24, Big Brother, Big Brother house, Cake Boss, Comic Con TV, Dance Your Ass Off, Desperate Housewives, Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, Fred Travalena, Gale Storm, Guiding Light, Guiding Light finale, Guy Fieri, Kathy Griffin, Missy Peregrym, My Life on the D-List, New York Goes to Work, Nurse Jackie, Oprah, Paris Hilton, The Bachelorette, The Closer, Weeds