All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– What if Hurley, John Locke and Ben from Lost, Dwight Schrute and Craig Ferguson were Simpsons characters? It would be awesome, that’s what.

– VH1 is planning a Hills-ish reality series revolving around the rich and not-so-rich folk who frequent Aspen.

– Bravo reps are suggesting next week’s episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey will shed further light on the alleged criminal past of scene-stealer Danielle Staub.

– The next issue of Rolling Stone will reportedly feature a cover in which American Idol runner-up (sigh) Adam Lambert announces he’s gay. Inside, there will be stories where Miley Cyrus admits she can’t really sing so well and John Mayer confesses he’s in love … with himself.

– Kris Allen, future governor of Arkansas? Crazier things have happened.

– A Shot at Love star Tila Tequila is reportedly preggers. What are the chances this isn’t going to unfold on reality TV?

– Could Chuck return earlier than March 2010?

– And the next cast of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew will include a former Real World-er, Dennis Rodman, Heidi Fleiss and One Day at a Time star Mackenzie Phillips.

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• Filed in American Idol, Celebreality, Chuck, Comedy, Drama, TV News
• Tags: A Shot at Love, Adam Lambert, Aspen, Ben, Celeb Rehab, Celebrity Rehab, Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, Chuck, Craig Ferguson, Danielle Staub, Dennis Rodman, Dwight Schrute, Heidi Fleiss, Hurley, John Locke, John Mayer, Kris Allen, Lost, Mackenzie Phillips, Miley Cyrus, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Rolling Stone, Simpsons, The Hills, Tila Tequila, VH1

I’ve recently become bored with my WALL-E action figure, my Dwight Schrute bobblehead and my talking Napoleon Dynamite pen. In other words, I am in need of some new desk toys, which sent me on a hunt for a few craptacular TV-themed tchotchkes to help bring the fun to my workspace and, most importantly, give me the oh-so-important procrastination tools that every person who works at a desk every day needs.

So, my top 10 TV desk toy finds …

The Chef Duff Minimate
A 2-inch representation of Ace of Cakes master baker Duff Goldman, with 10 accessories, including two mini cakes, a spatula, a guitar and a chainsaw (hey, it’s Duff).
Cost: A mere $8. (Hours of procrastination it will provide: Priceless).

30 Rock Kenneth the Page Talking Bobblehead
Says phrases like “Frankly, LaDonica, you have not been real helpful,” “It’s gonna get raw in here like sushi, so haters to the left” and “I just love television so much.” Amen, Ken.
Cost: $22

SNL More Cowbell Kit
“Guess what?! I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription … is more cowbell!”
Cost: $20

Psych Pineapple Stress Toy
Because squeezing a real pineapple could be considerably more painful.
Cost: $6

Lost Dharma Rubik’s Cube
Easier to solve than the show’s intricate plotlines!
Cost: $19.95

Dayman Heat Sensitive Mug
Add hot water, and The Nightman appears. Brilliant! Don’t just want this It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia mug. I need to own this.
Cost: $14.95

Jack Bauer 12-inch Action Figure
A foot-tall Jack Bauer. He’ll make sure all the other desk toys toe the line.
Cost: $39.99

Talking Hurley Reyes Action Figure
Dude.
Cost: $14.99

American Idol Microphone Pops
They light up, they play music, they have a lollipop and fruit-flavored gum inside and are shaped like microphones. It’s the toy that has it all. Good favors for an AI finale party, too.
Cost: $2.99

Jack Bauer iPod Shuffle
I’d like one in pink. What … are you suggesting a real man like Jack Bauer would be uncomfortable spinning tunes from a pink device? Say that to his face, punk.
Cost: $89

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• Filed in 24, 30 Rock, American Idol, Me Likey, TV List o' the Day, TV Toys
• Tags: 24, 30 Rock, Ace of Cakes, action figure, American Idol, bobblehead, candy, Chef Duff, Dayman, desk toy, Dharma, Duff Goldman, Dwight Schrute, Hurley, Hurley Reyes, iPod, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Jack Bauer, Kenneth the Page, Lost, microphone, Minimate, More cowbell, Nightman, pineapple, Psych, Rubik's Cube, Saturday Night Live, SNL, stress toy, The Office, toy, TV toy