All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Can’t. Wait. For the July 21 season premiere of Hell’s Kitchen, when one of the contestants finally stands up to Gordon Ramsay‘s verbal abuse by inviting him to step outside. Sometimes Ramsay is funny, and sometimes he’s just a tool, so I doubt I’ll be the only one cheering when the reality TV bully gets some feedback from a contestant, who happens to also be a non-active Marine.

– TNT is launching cool new role playing games for its new Dylan McDermott undercover cop drama Dark Blue and the return of its Timothy Hutton con drama Leverage. The games will officially kick off on July 15, the shows’ premiere date.

– The already rich and ubiquitous Ryan Seacrest is about to become even richer and ubiquitous-er (simmer down, I know it’s not a word): The American Idol and E! host is finalizing a new contract that will reportedly make him among the highest-paid reality hosts on TV. Sounds right to me … who deserves it more than the hard-working Seacrest, who really does make his many hosting gigs, from TV to radio, look effortless?

– Napoleon Dynamite star Jon Heder has signed on to star in a new Comedy Central series that will be produced and written by FunnyorDie.com‘s Will Ferrell, Adam McKay and Chris Henchy. The series, which will find Heder playing an unemployed tech guy who moves back in with his ‘rents, is said to cost $50 million, as the initial 10-episode order could lead the network to pick up 90 episodes, a la TBS’ House of Payne and Meet the Browns deals with Tyler Perry.

– Think a teenage version of Hung and that’s MTV’s upcoming comedy Hard Times, about a 15-year-old boy who becomes infamous when his classmates see that he’s really a Big Man on Campus (emphasis on the “Big”).

– SyFy’s dramedy Warehouse 13, which has been described as “Indiana Jones-meets-Moonlighting-meets-The X-Files,” drew the third highest premiere ratings in the network’s history. Check out my interview with charming series star Eddie McClintock at AOL TV.

– Since the movie biz seems to have little use for her these days, Lindsay Lohan has set up a production company to pitch TV shows, including what is being called “Entourage for the fashion world.”

– Speaking of fashion, whether you knew it or not, this is what your wardrobe has been missing: Selections from the Gene Simmons Moneybag line.

– Wanna know how to have the kind of body that will land you a, ahem, swell guy like Spencer Pratt? It’s all in The Heidi Workout.

– And this weekend in primetime:

FRIDAY
– On a new Degrassi: The Next Generation (8PM ET, The N), K.C.’s past comes to light, and Emma yet again does something stupid to change her image
– The N’s new Hollywood wannabe dramedy The Assistants premieres at 8:30PM
– New Eureka episodes return to SyFy at 9PM
– An Anthrax scare quarantines the ship on Whale Wars (9PM, Animal Planet)
– See how wood sculptures and fountain pens are made on How It’s Made (9PM, Science Channel)

SATURDAY
– David faces treason charges on Kings (8PM, NBC)
– Series finales for Harper’s Island (9PM, CBS) and Eli Stone (10PM, ABC)

SUNDAY
– The first eviction nominees are revealed on Big Brother (8PM, CBS)
– Ruby continues to pursue her weight loss goals on the Style Network (8PM)
– Lifetime’s new comedy Drop Dead Diva premieres at 9PM
– Daisy dumps another dude on Daisy of Love (9PM, VH1)
– A poet may be involved in a murder on Law & Order: Criminal Intent (9PM, USA)
– Lisa has a reunion with her hubby on Ice Road Truckers (9PM, History Channel)
– Sophie’s boyfriend is cheating on her on Gene Simmons Family Jewels (9PM, A&E)
– On The Next Food Network Star (9PM, Food Network), the contestants have to make a dish with only what they can find in an airline terminal
– Bill, Sookie and Jessica fly to Texas to find a vampire on True Blood (9PM, HBO)
– Hammer and fam travel to Vegas for his mom’s 70th birthday on Hammertime (10PM
– Raphael’s ma starts planning an engagement soiree – sans Mary’s help – on In Plain Sight (10PM, USA)
– Tanya arranges for Ray’s first tryout as a “happiness consultant” on Hung (HBO, 10PM)
– On Jesse James Is a Dead Man (10PM, Spike), Jesse fulfills fans’ requests, including trying to catch a rattlesnake with his bare hands
–  The sixth season of Entourage premieres on HBO at 10:30PM

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• Filed in TV News
• Tags: Dark Blue role play game, Eddie McClintock, Gene Simmons Moneybag, Gordon Ramsay, Hard Times MTV, Heidi Pratt, Hell's Kitchen season 6 fight, Jon Heder Comedy Central, Leverage role play game, Lindsay Lohan TV, Ryan Seacrest contract, Spencer Pratt, Warehouse 13

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– The Smoking Gun.com has dug up court papers that suggest Real Housewives of New Jersey‘s Danielle Staub was much more involved in a life of crime than she’s ‘fessed up to. Drug deals and kidnapping were just a couple of charges against her.

– In more Housewives news, Bravo will debut the second season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta on July 30 (10PM ET). NeNe, Kim, Lisa and Sheree are back, but DeShawn, who was deemed too “normal” by producers, has been replaced by new cast member Kandi.

– Also premiering in July: season six of Gordon Ramsay‘s Hell’s Kitchen. This season, which hits Fox on July 21, will offer the contestants a chance to become the head chef at Araxi restaurant in Whistler, British Columbia.

– MTV announced its development slate, which includes a sketch comedy show from Jamie Foxx, an animated comedy about superheroes from Saturday Night Live head writer and Weekend Update anchor Seth Myers and what sounds like a teen version of HBO’s Hung.

– AMC, home of Mad Men and Breaking Bad, has added another original drama series to its line-up: The political thriller Rubicon, which stars 24 vet James Badge Dale (he was Chase, whose hand had to be chopped off by his CTU partner Jack) and Miranda Richardson.

– According to Wetpaint.com’s TV Fandex 100, which measures which shows TV watchers are talking about most on social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook, the most buzzed about series are (in order from one to 10): True Blood, NCIS, House, Weeds, Supernatural, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Bones, The Mentalist, The Tudors and Gossip Girl.

– The Jon & Kate Plus 8 divorce episode, as it will forever be known, earned the show its highest ratings ever with 10.6 million viewers.

– Simon Cowell‘s about to become even filthier rich, yo.

– Movieweb.com has a sneak peek clip of the July 12 season premiere of Entourage, which finds Vinnie and the boys celebrating the red carpet premiere of his movie Gatsby at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre.

– And tonight in primetime:

– The 22nd season premiere of MTV’s The Real World, this time set in Cancun (10PM)
– The season finale of I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here (8PM, NBC)
– The big red balls of Wipeout on ABC (8PM)
– The series premiere of The Philanthropist on NBC (10PM)
– Survivor: Africa winner Ethan Zohn tries to sell the cereal bowl he invented to Billy Mays on Discovery Channel’s Pitchmen (10PM)
– On Throwdown with Bobby Flay (9PM, Food Network), Bobby makes a classic Southern dish, Country Captain Chicken
– Raineesha and Jones go undercover at a swingers club on Reno 911! (10:30PM, Comedy Central)
– And Criss Angel is the subject of the E! True Hollywood Story (10PM)

• 1 Comment
• Filed in Reality, Rubicon, TV News
• Tags: Billy Mays, Bobby Flay, Criss Angel, Danielle Staub, E! True Hollywood Story, Entourage video, Gordon Ramsay, Hell's Kitchen season six, I'm a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here finale, James Badge Dale, NeNe, Real Housewives of Atlanta, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Rubicon, The Real World

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Mad Men, season three, August 16 at 10PM ET on AMC. Be there, or be somewhere else, somewhere where people don’t knock back three vodka gimlets before lunch, aren’t nearly as dapperly-attired as Don Draper (Jon Hamm) and don’t have offices that are bigger than my entire New York City apartment. Yeah, not sounding nearly as much fun as Mad Men, right?

– Is designer Vera Wang going to be competing on the next season of Dancing With the Stars? And if so, does that mean we can count on less cheesy costumes?

– Plus-size model Emme has been hired to host Fox’s More to Love, the reality dating show that will feature “average-looking” people

– Discovery Channel’s 22nd annual Shark Week kicks off on August 2.

– Matt Mitovich at TVGuide.com says Rick Springfield will play, fittingly enough, Rick Springfield, when he guest stars on the new season of Californication, but he’ll be a naughty Rick Springfield, one whose sex play makes David Duchovny‘s Hank “look like a Jonas brother.” Not that I’m buying that whole purity ring business about the Jonas Bros. …

– In celebration of its 15th anniversary, TCM has created its own social network site, TCM Classic Film Union, for movie buffs.

– Gordon Ramsay has apologized for, well, basically, for being a tool. You can watch the apology here.

– I reeeally want to like Dr. Drew and trust his motives, but a real doctor prolly should offer to help Lindsay Lohan, or a less-famous addict, whether or not she accepts a reported six-figure offer to appear on his reality show, Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, right? Of course, the story seems to be originating with Lohan’s dad, so, grain – no, make that rock, huge, ginormous rock – of salt on the whole thing.

– The Shield creator Shawn Ryan is going back to FX with a comedy about private detectives, called Terriers.

– Futurama‘s back! With 26 new episodes in 2010!

– Good news for David Letterman: He, with guest Julia Roberts, beat Conan O’Brien‘s Tonight Show on Tuesday. Worse news for Conan: His ratings keep dropping. Don’t count him out tho; remember his first years as Late Night host?

– More ratings wars news: Judge Judy beat Oprah. Whoa.

– ABC’s getting a jump on the competition by announcing its fall premiere dates.

– The ratings for the Nurse Jackie series premiere were so good, Showtime’s already greenlighting a second season, so go ahead and get hooked.

– Heidi Pratt‘s launching her own line of dry shampoo, after her shampoo shenanigans on I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. I’m sure Oscar Blandi is shaking in his celebrity hair-cutting boots.

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• Filed in Celebreality, Late Night, Reality, TV News
• Tags: Californication, Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, Conan O'Brien, Dancing With the Stars, David Duchovny, David Letterman, Discovery Channel, Don Draper, Dr. Drew, Drew Pinsky, Emme, Futurama, Get Me Out of Here, Gordon Ramsay, Heidi Pratt, I'm a Celebrity, Jon Hamm, Jonas, Judge Judy, Julia Roberts, Lindsay Lohan, Mad Men, More to Love, Nurse Jackie, Oprah, Rick Springfield, Shark Week, Shawn Ryan, TCM Classic Film Union, The Shield, Tonight Show, Vera Wang

In honor of tonight’s season finales of The Office and 30 Rock, here’s a link to TV Guide.com’s Terrible TV Bosses round-up. Anyone they left off? How ’bout Bob Kelso from Scrubs? House on House? Gordon Ramsay on any of his shows?!

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• Filed in 30 Rock, The Office, TV List o' the Day
• Tags: 30 Rock, Gordon Ramsay, House, Montgomery Burns, Mr. Burns, Scrubs, The Office, The Simpsons, TV bosses