All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Can’t. Wait. For the July 21 season premiere of Hell’s Kitchen, when one of the contestants finally stands up to Gordon Ramsay‘s verbal abuse by inviting him to step outside. Sometimes Ramsay is funny, and sometimes he’s just a tool, so I doubt I’ll be the only one cheering when the reality TV bully gets some feedback from a contestant, who happens to also be a non-active Marine.

– TNT is launching cool new role playing games for its new Dylan McDermott undercover cop drama Dark Blue and the return of its Timothy Hutton con drama Leverage. The games will officially kick off on July 15, the shows’ premiere date.

– The already rich and ubiquitous Ryan Seacrest is about to become even richer and ubiquitous-er (simmer down, I know it’s not a word): The American Idol and E! host is finalizing a new contract that will reportedly make him among the highest-paid reality hosts on TV. Sounds right to me … who deserves it more than the hard-working Seacrest, who really does make his many hosting gigs, from TV to radio, look effortless?

– Napoleon Dynamite star Jon Heder has signed on to star in a new Comedy Central series that will be produced and written by FunnyorDie.com‘s Will Ferrell, Adam McKay and Chris Henchy. The series, which will find Heder playing an unemployed tech guy who moves back in with his ‘rents, is said to cost $50 million, as the initial 10-episode order could lead the network to pick up 90 episodes, a la TBS’ House of Payne and Meet the Browns deals with Tyler Perry.

– Think a teenage version of Hung and that’s MTV’s upcoming comedy Hard Times, about a 15-year-old boy who becomes infamous when his classmates see that he’s really a Big Man on Campus (emphasis on the “Big”).

– SyFy’s dramedy Warehouse 13, which has been described as “Indiana Jones-meets-Moonlighting-meets-The X-Files,” drew the third highest premiere ratings in the network’s history. Check out my interview with charming series star Eddie McClintock at AOL TV.

– Since the movie biz seems to have little use for her these days, Lindsay Lohan has set up a production company to pitch TV shows, including what is being called “Entourage for the fashion world.”

– Speaking of fashion, whether you knew it or not, this is what your wardrobe has been missing: Selections from the Gene Simmons Moneybag line.

– Wanna know how to have the kind of body that will land you a, ahem, swell guy like Spencer Pratt? It’s all in The Heidi Workout.

– And this weekend in primetime:

FRIDAY
– On a new Degrassi: The Next Generation (8PM ET, The N), K.C.’s past comes to light, and Emma yet again does something stupid to change her image
– The N’s new Hollywood wannabe dramedy The Assistants premieres at 8:30PM
– New Eureka episodes return to SyFy at 9PM
– An Anthrax scare quarantines the ship on Whale Wars (9PM, Animal Planet)
– See how wood sculptures and fountain pens are made on How It’s Made (9PM, Science Channel)

SATURDAY
– David faces treason charges on Kings (8PM, NBC)
– Series finales for Harper’s Island (9PM, CBS) and Eli Stone (10PM, ABC)

SUNDAY
– The first eviction nominees are revealed on Big Brother (8PM, CBS)
– Ruby continues to pursue her weight loss goals on the Style Network (8PM)
– Lifetime’s new comedy Drop Dead Diva premieres at 9PM
– Daisy dumps another dude on Daisy of Love (9PM, VH1)
– A poet may be involved in a murder on Law & Order: Criminal Intent (9PM, USA)
– Lisa has a reunion with her hubby on Ice Road Truckers (9PM, History Channel)
– Sophie’s boyfriend is cheating on her on Gene Simmons Family Jewels (9PM, A&E)
– On The Next Food Network Star (9PM, Food Network), the contestants have to make a dish with only what they can find in an airline terminal
– Bill, Sookie and Jessica fly to Texas to find a vampire on True Blood (9PM, HBO)
– Hammer and fam travel to Vegas for his mom’s 70th birthday on Hammertime (10PM
– Raphael’s ma starts planning an engagement soiree – sans Mary’s help – on In Plain Sight (10PM, USA)
– Tanya arranges for Ray’s first tryout as a “happiness consultant” on Hung (HBO, 10PM)
– On Jesse James Is a Dead Man (10PM, Spike), Jesse fulfills fans’ requests, including trying to catch a rattlesnake with his bare hands
–  The sixth season of Entourage premieres on HBO at 10:30PM

• 2 Comments
• Filed in TV News
• Tags: Dark Blue role play game, Eddie McClintock, Gene Simmons Moneybag, Gordon Ramsay, Hard Times MTV, Heidi Pratt, Hell's Kitchen season 6 fight, Jon Heder Comedy Central, Leverage role play game, Lindsay Lohan TV, Ryan Seacrest contract, Spencer Pratt, Warehouse 13