All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Will you tune in for the return of Jon & Kate Plus 8 tonight on TLC (9PM ET). TLC execs claim the Gosselins’ new situation makes them more relatable, but I’d argue that it just makes them more douchebag-able.

– I’m sure I wasn’t the only Guiding Light fan hoping for a last-minute reprieve for the long-running daytime soap, but Light‘s cancelation is officially official now that a replacement show has been lined up. Wayne Brady will host a revival of Let’s Make a Deal that will air in GL‘s place. The soap, which debuted on CBS on June 30, 1952, will air its series finale on Sept. 18.

– There’s still no deal for Paula Abdul, but Kara DioGuardi is definitely returning to the American Idol judges table next season. Meh.

– Futurama will return with new episodes in 2010, and with the original voice talent cast intact.

– PBS has announced a new Sesame Street primetime special, Families Stand Together: Feeling Secure in Tough Times, which will help families with young kids explain and deal with current economic woes. Elmo hosts (with Al Roker, Deborah Roberts and his Muppet pals), and the show is paired with another PBS special, Your Life, Your Money, hosted by Scrubs’ Donald Faison, and aimed at young people. The specials debut on PBS on Sept. 9 (8-10PM).

– More news from Sesame Street: The show’s upcoming 40th season will include a Mad Men spoof. Minus the smoking, drinking, cursing, bed-hopping and, in the case of Freddy Rumsen, pants-wetting, presumably.

– The Emmys snubbed Battlestar Galactica and True Blood, but the Television Critics Association honored the shows last weekend, naming them Program of the Year and Best New Program, respectively.

– The Sunday New York Times featured a story on how badly some reality TV contestants are treated, which was surprising at first, and makes you wonder why they would subject themselves to being locked in hotel rooms and having all manner of communication with the outside world cut off. But then you remember: They’re willing to bare incredibly personal details about their lives on TV – and, according to many of them, they’re often plied with copious amounts of hooch – so maybe not being able to text and Twitter for a few weeks doesn’t seem like such a big deal?

– Another victim of the economy: Marie Osmond‘s comeback talk show.

– On the other hand, Tom Arnold‘s TV comeback is right on track, as the ex-Mr. Roseanne will write and possibly star in a new NBC sitcom, and has a recurring role on the new season of Sons of Anarchy.

– And tonight in primetime:

– The families head for the Grand Canyon on Great American Road Trip (8PM ET, NBC)
– George ‘fesses up to Anne about something on The Secret Life of an American Teenager (8PM, ABC Family)
– ABC has a Sugarland concert at 8PM
– Jon & Kate Plus 8 returns, post-separation, on TLC (9PM)
– Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon‘s daughter Sosie guest stars as Brenda’s niece on The Closer (9PM, TNT)
– A TV crew sparks rivalry among the girls on Make It or Break It (9PM, ABC Family)
– Old-school nookie is the focus of the series premiere of Sex in the Ancient World (9PM, History Channel)
– Real and Chance try to find skank love again on the Real Chance of Love 2 premiere (VH1, 9PM)
– Shark Week continues with Deadly Waters (9PM, Discovery), a look at the five most dangerous, shark-infested bodies of water
– It’s the season premiere of Guy Fieri‘s Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives on Food Network (10PM)
– Kathy works to make her upcoming autobio super spicy on Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (10PM, Bravo)
– Celia and Dean come up with marketing plans for their new biz on Weeds (10PM, Showtime)
– More Dating in the Dark at 10PM on ABC
– Drama ensues when the musicians move into their new home on Making His Band (10PM, MTV)
– Tony recalls the best street food he’s eaten from around the world on Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (10PM, Travel Channel)
– TLC premieres its new cake-baking competition series, Ultimate Cake Off (10PM)
– Terrell meets with his estranged dad on The T.O. Show (10PM, VH1)
– And Jackie’s drug use begins to catch up with her physically and with her decision-making at work on Nurse Jackie (10:30PM, Showtime)

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• Filed in Reality, TV News
• Tags: American Idol, Donald Faison, Futurama, Guiding Light finale Sept. 18, Jon & Kate Plus 8, Kara DioGuardi, Marie Osmond talk show, Paula Abdul, Reality TV contestants, Sesame Street 40th anniversary, Sesame Street Mad Men spoof, Sons of Anarchy, TCA Awards, Tom Arnold, Wayne Brady Let's Make a Deal

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Oscar winner Diane Keaton is set to star in a new HBO comedy inspired by Gloria Steinem. Keaton will play a feminist icon who tries to spark a rejuvenation of the feminist movement by starting a porn magazine for women. The series (which would make an interesting primetime block with HBO’s Hung) is being written by Buffy the Vampire Slayer producer and writer Marti Noxon.

– When Jon & Kate Plus 8 returns with new episodes on TLC on Aug. 3, the action will not include the separated couple’s extracurricular love interests.

– The Emmy folks are considering pre-recording a handful of categories’ winners and inserting them into the live Neil Patrick Harris-hosted telecast on Sept. 20. Organizers are calling the idea “time-shifting” those awards’ presentations … really, Emmy people? If those award categories (which includes the drama writing category for which Mad Men nabbed four of five nominations) aren’t deemed important enough to air live, why air them at all during the main Emmy telecast?

– TLC has renewed Cake Boss with New Jersey baker Buddy Valastro for a second season, which will air sometime in the fall. The current debut season wraps on Aug. 17.

– Life co-star Donal Logue will star in FX’s new dramedy Terriers, written by The Shield‘s Shawn Ryan. The new series will feature Logue as a P.I. who, partnered with his best friend, isn’t exactly the most mature private eye on the block.

– Ugly Betty/Harper’s Island/Popular alum Christopher Gorham has been cast  in USA’s new CIA thriller Covert Affairs. The show will star Gorham as a blind special ops agent who helps train a newbie CIA agent played by Piper Perabo.

– The Hills – sans Lauren Conrad and with new star Kristin Cavallari – kicks off its new season on Sept. 29 on MTV.

– Must-see-TV clip of the day: Anderson Cooper, subbing for Reeg on Live with Regis and Kelly, asking The Bachelorette‘s Jillian Harris the question we all really want the answer to.

– While promoting her new TV Land show How’d You Get So Rich?, which premieres Aug. 5, Joan Rivers made it clear she’s no fan of Jay Leno.

– The big news coming out of the annual Television Critics’ Association gathering about Starz’ 2010 drama Spartacus: Lots of nudity. Lots and lots of nudity.

– And tonight in primetime:

– Another one bites the dust as a contestant is Michael’s on the hunt for a client list on Burn Notice (9PM, USA)
– Sean Paul sings and JabbaWockeeZ dances as two more are cut on So You Think You Can Dance (9PM, Fox)
– She’s Got the Look wraps its second season and chooses a winner on TV Land (9PM)
– What kind of 3BR house will $700,000 buy you in Los Angeles? Find out on House Hunters (9PM, HGTV)
– Duff cakes a precariously balanced Cirque du Soleil cake on Ace of Cakes (10PM, Food Network)
– Jill and Hank tussle over a patient on Royal Pains (10PM, USA)
– It’s season two – and the return of NeNe! – for The Real Housewives of Atlanta (10PM, Bravo)
– Is Audrey dunzo on LA Ink (10PM, TLC)?
– MTV has unaired footage from season one of 16 and Pregnant (10PM)
– Penn & Teller: Bullshit! (10PM, Showtime) examines the claims about organic food
– And it’s beauty queen vs. gossiper vs. salon owner on WE’s Most Popular (10PM)

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• Filed in TV News
• Tags: 2009 Emmys, Buddy Valastro, Cake Boss, Christopher Gorham, Covert Affairs USA, Diane Keaton HBO, Donal Logue, Joan Rivers, Jon & Kate Plus 8, Kristin Cavallari, Marti Noxon, Piper Perabo, Shawn Ryan, Spartacus Sstarz, The Bachelorette, The Hills new season, The Hills returns

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– IGN.com’s counting down the “25 Funniest Will Ferrell Characters.” It’s a great list (when Roger Klarvin, Ferrell’s character in the funny “luv-ahs” skits on Saturday Night Live, only merits a spot at number 20, you know there are some great ones coming up). This is a big week for Ferrell – not only does the big-screen makeover of Land of the Lost open on Friday, but he’s nominated for a Tony Award on Sunday.

– VH1’s upcoming miniseries The Great Debate is sorta like Lewis Black’s Root of All Evil in reverse. Instead of debating which of two pop culture ideas is the worst, The Great Debate will feature talking heads like Omarosa, Jerry Springer and Tila Tequila debating which is better – Star Wars or Star Trek, Rocky or Rambo, Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune … you get the idea. The week-long series kicks off on July 6, and fans can weigh in now by voting on such topics as “Funny or Not?” (including Adam Sandler, Dane Cook and Kathy Griffin), “Sibling Rivalry” (Kevin or Matt Dillon? Owen or Luke Wilson? Paris or Nicky Hilton?) and “Hot or Not?” (including Michael Phelps, Fergie and Zach Braff). Sounds like a fun summer series, though you have to wonder, weren’t any of the Best Week Ever peeps available? Omarosa and Tila Tequila aren’t exactly, to play off the title, the great debaters.

– So you wanna be a star? Auditions for American Idol, season nine, kick off in Boston on June 14.

– The ratings are in, and the season premiere wasn’t a fluke. Plenty of people are still rubberneckin’ at the trainwreck that is Jon & Kate Plus 8. More Gosselin news: US Weekly is featuring the fam on its cover for a sixth consecutive week. Almost makes you nostalgic for the days when Britney was doing something crazy every week, huh?

– Claire (Hayden Panettiere) is getting a college roommate on Heroes next season, and she’s being played by Californication‘s Madeline Zima.

– The Jay Leno Show will debut on NBC on Sept. 14.

– Breaking Bad‘s second season just ended, but there’s already a preview clip for season three.

– And Grandma Gilmore, a.k.a. Gilmore Girls (and Dirty Dancing!) great Kelly Bishop, will guest star in the new season of Army Wives … as a cougar!

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• Filed in American Idol, Boob Tube to Big Screen, Late Night, Reality, TV News
• Tags: Adam Sandler, American Idol, American Idol auditions, Army Wives, auditions, Best Week Ever, Breaking Bad, Breaking Bad season three, Californication, Dane Cook, Dirty Dancing, Fergie, Gilmore Girls, Gosselins, Hayden Panettiere, Heroes, Jeopardy, Jerry Springer, Jon & Kate Plus 8, Kathy Griffin, Kelly Bishop, Kevin Dillon, Land of the Lost, Lewis Black's Root of All Evil, Luke Wilson, luv-ahs, Madeline Zima, Matt Dillon, Michael Phelps, Nicky Hilton, Omarosa, Owen Wilson, Paris Hilton, Rambo, Rocky, Roger Klarvin, Saturday Night Live, Star Trek, Star Wars, The Great Debate, The Jay Leno Show, Tila Tequila, Tony Award, Wheel of Fortune, Will Ferrell, Zach Braff

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– American Idol producers say there was no funny business with those AT&T text-messaging services that gave Kris Allen fans the chance to throw extra votes his way. You buying it? Well, then, read this story, in which one fan says the AT&T set-up helped her cast more than 10,000 votes for Allen. Whuuut?!

– John Lithgow as a serial killer on the new season of Dexter? Brilliant.

– Another surprising bit of casting: Freddie Prinze Jr. will play Davis Cole, the new CTU Field Ops head who wants to be just like Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) on season eight of 24. Not a name that would have popped into my head to play mini-Jack, but 24‘s castings have always been flawless, so I’ll trust that this one will be no exception.

– Clearly, I’m not the only one who finds Wipeout charming. And you have to love any show that puts John “Skunk Boy” Henson back on the tube every week.

– With the Gosselins‘ problems still major tabloid fodder, USA Today has a rundown of some other famous reality TV families, and the one thing that’s true about all of them: Being on TV only seemed to make their problems worse.

– Cindy Brady’s (Susan Olsen) writing a book about the bizarre bit of TV history that was The Brady Bunch Variety Hour.

– Now that the networks’ fall skeds are set, they’ve begun recasting some of their pilots. Sorry to see 24‘s Michelle Dessler (Reiko Aylesworth) out of a job.

– More 24 news: Jack Bauer and Captain Kirk will be presenting an award at Sunday’s live MTV Movie Awards.

– And, this Real Housewives business may quickly spiral out of control. Reportedly also on the list of upcoming spin-offs: Real Housewives of Chicago. Not that there’s anything wrong with that … just that there’s not gonna be much non-Housewives room left on the Bravo schedule soon if they roll out all these rumored spin-offs.

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• Filed in 24, American Idol, Celebreality, Comedy, Drama, TV News
• Tags: 24, American Idol voting scandal, American Idol. Kris Allen, AT&T, Brady Bunch, Bravo, Captain Kirk, Cindy Brady, Dexter, Freddie Prinze Jr., Gosselin, Jack Bauer, John Henson, John Lithgow, Jon & Kate Plus 8, Jon Gosselin, kate Gosselin, Kiefer Sutherland, pilots, Real Housewives, Real Housewives of Chicago, Reality TV families, recasting, Reiko Aylesworth, Susan Olsen, The Brady Bunch Variety Hour, voting, Wipeout

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Did AT&T help Kris Allen win American Idol? Allegedly so.

– Everyone loves a good case of schadenfreude, but it makes you wonder just how insufferable Jon and Kate Gosselin are that no one seems to be coming to their defense these days, don’t it? BTW, nearly 10 million viewers watched the season five premiere of Jon & Kate Plus 8 … again, schadenfreude. I wonder how far that number will drop for next week’s new episode, especially since the premiere made it pretty clear that the Gosselins can barely stand to sit next to each other on a couch.

– As the New York Daily News points out, the Gosselins are hardly the only exploiting their children for reality TV dollars.

– Jessica Simpson just isn’t going to go away, and TV may be helping that.

– Whoa … Is Susan Boyle really a potty mouth?

– If you doubt The Big O’s influence, tune in Thursday night for CNBC’s The Oprah Effect (9PM ET), a special that delves into how just a mention on her show can mean the difference between a business thriving and filing for bankruptcy.

– Hoo-ah! Al Pacino‘s headed to the tube, playing suicide doc Jack Kevorkian in an upcoming HBO movie.

– 24, which begins production on season eight today (yay!), has added another pair of new cast members, including Kissing Jessica Stein star (and girlfriend of Mad Men star Jon Hamm) Jennifer Westfeldt.

– And, there’s plenty of serious TV business to talk about today, but for some comic relief, and just plain old fun summer TV watchin’, you can’t beat tonight’s return of Wipeout (ABC, 8PM ET) and The Big Red Balls.

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• Filed in 24, American Idol, Celebreality, Comedy, Drama, TV News
• Tags: 24, Al Pacino, American Idol, AT&T, big red balls, controversy, Gosselins, HBO, Jack Kevorkian, Jennifer Westfeldt, Jessica Simpson, Jon, Jon & Kate Plus 8, Jon Hamm, Kate, Kris Allen, Mad Men, Oprah, Oprah Winfrey, scandal, Summer TV, Susan Boyle, The Oprah Effect, Wipeout