All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– The next season of 24 may be its last. Sad news – it’s my all-time favorite TV drama – but it’s gotta be one of the most exhausting shows to make, for the cast, crew and writers. Besides, the end of the series will likely mean a big-screen movie (or movies), so we’ve got that going for us, which is nice.

– Variety has an early review for next week’s third season premiere of Mad Men, and it’s a very positive one.

– And New York City is also going mad for Mad Men next week.

– Oprah is allegedly being sued for a trillion dollars. At least she can probably afford it.

– This story alleges that the reason Jon Gosselin is so in demand is because women want to save him and they feel he’s misunderstood. Or perhaps it’s just that these women are just that desperate for their own little piece of reality infamy, even if they have to go through an Ed Hardy-obsessed d-bag to get it. But that’s just my theory.

– And this story, which goes into detail about The Real Housewives of New York City star Bethanny Frankel‘s pregnancy testing experiences, is really, really too much information.

– Jay Leno has booked quite the musical line-up for his primetime premiere on Sept. 14: Jay-Z, Rihanna and Kanye West.

– Speaking of Leno, some of TV’s top showrunners are speaking out about what a bad move the Leno-in-primetime show is for scripted fare.

– Oh, Billy Mays … the autopsy report on the pitchman’s death says cocaine contributed to his death earlier this summer.

– The final season of Nip/Tuck premieres on FX on Oct. 14.

– Paula Abdul says she’s gotten lots of job offers since quitting American Idol, but I bet none of them are going to pay her millions of dollars.

– Speaking of Paula, being her fan can get you beaten up. Ask Constantine Maroulis.

– And this weekend in primetime:

FRIDAY
– NBC’s fantastic cop drama Southland is re-airing throughout the summer (8PM ET)
– Shark attack survivor Bethany Hamilton is a contestants on Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader (8PM, Fox)
– Denzel Washington, James Caan and Quentin Tarantino are the guests on Friday Night with Jonathan Ross (8PM, BBCA)
– Surviving Suburbia season finale on ABC (8PM)
– 24‘s heroic Aaron Pierce, a.k.a. actor Glenn Morshower, guests on Mental at 9PM on Fox
– Elizabeth Perkins guest stars on the eighth (and final) season premiere of Monk on USA (9PM)
– Lock ‘n Load with R. Lee Ermey (9PM) examines the history of the military tank
– Eureka‘s teens are acting mighty strange (9PM, SyFy)
– Cesar helps a ‘fraidy cat, er dog, named Roscoe on Dog Whisperer (9PM, NGC)
– Discovery Channel re-airs its scary, fact-based Shark Week movie Blood in the Water, the story that inspired Jaws (9PM)
– A Red Cross employee gets new duds on What Not to Wear (9PM, TLC)
– The Goode Family wraps its first season on ABC (9:30PM)
– Psych returns for its fourth season (yay!) with Cary Elwes guest-starring as an international art thief who eludes Lassiter, Shawn and Gus (10PM, USA)
– The Soup is cookin’ up some pop culture funny at 10PM (E!)
– IFC has part two of three of the Chris Kattan miniseries Bollywood Hero (10PM)
– It’s chefs vs. foodies in a big-city battle on the series premiere of Food Network’s Chefs vs. City (10PM)
– The team tries can keep a cool Gibson Les Paul guitar if they can prevent it from burning up in a fire on Catch It Keep It (10PM, Science)

SATURDAY
– Three full hours of Unwrapped eps on the Food Network (8PM)
– Dogs are behaving badly on back-to-back eps of In the Dog House on Animal Planet (8PM)
– A truck driver tries to win $1 million on NBC’s new poker series Face the Ace (9PM)
– Bill gives money to his scheming bro on The Bill Engvall Show (9PM, TBS)
– SyFy’s guilty pleasure movie of the week: Infestation (9PM)
– BBCA has a new ep (9PM) of its new drama Being Human
– It’s the series finale of Dirty Sexy Money (10PM, ABC)
– Bollywood Hero concludes on IFC (10PM)
– George Lopez does his stand-up act in George Lopez: Tall, Dark and Chicano (10PM, HBO)

SUNDAY
– Who Wants to Be a Millionaire celebrates its 10th anniversary with a limited-run return, with original host Regis Philbin (8PM, ABC)
– Nominations for the next eviction are revealed on Big Brother 11 (8PM, CBS)
– The Bills and the Titans play an exhibition game at the Pro football Hall of Fame in Canton on NBC (8PM)
– Ruby‘s (8PM, Style) tries to recall her forgotten childhood
– Eight neighboring families are walled off into a community where they compete for a $250,000 prize on the series premiere of There Goes the Neighborhood (9PM, CBS)
– Office Space star Ron Livingston is an astronaut who embarks on a long mission to Venus in the new ABC drama series Defying Gravity (9PM)
– Deb wigs about Jane’s birthday on Drop Dead Diva (9PM, Lifetime)
– Eric’s arrival changes things for Sookie on True Blood (9PM, HBO)
– It’s the eighth season finale of Law & Order: Criminal Intent (9PM, USA)
– Admitted gold digger Megan Hauserman tries to land a rich dude on her Rock of Love spin-off Megan Wants a Millionaire (9PM, VH1)
– A bride asks her hubby-to-be to sell blood to pay for her hair appointment on Bridezillas (9PM, WE)
– Tornados (9PM) and lighting (10PM) are the subjects of Raging Planet episodes on Discovery Channel
– On Ice Road Truckers (9PM, History), there are just two weeks left in the season
– The fourth season of America’s Best Dance Crew premieres on MTV (9PM)
– ABC has the series premiere of Shark Tank (9PM), where people pitch their inventions to potential investors
– On a new In Plain Sight on USA (10PM), a political activist hates her new home
– Back-to-back new episodes of Pawn Stars on History Channel (10 and 10:30PM)
– On Hung (10PM, HBO), Jessica forces Ronnie to tell her the truth about their new financial situation
– A couple asks for a peacock cake on Amazing Wedding Cakes (10PM, WE)
– Country singer Shelby Lynne guests on Army Wives (10PM, Lifetime)
– Jesse tries to escape from a burning vehicle on Jesse James Is a Dead Man (10PM, Spike)
– Vince and Drama golf with (guest stars) Tom Brady and (series producer) Mark Wahlberg on Entourage (10:30PM, HBO)

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• Filed in 24, TV News
• Tags: 24 series ending, Bethanny Frankel, Billy Mays, Mad Men, Mad Men season 3 review, Nip/Tuck finale season, Oprah sued, The Real Housewives of New York City