Yeah, yeah, so I’ve watched the first couple of episodes of VH1’s latest celebreality series Famous Food, in which D-list types are given the capital to start a new restaurant in Los Angeles. Don’t judge me.

Besides, the show is not a bad idea; in fact, the idea is a good one, and I’m sure there is a group of D-listers who could be assembled to carry out the challenge successfully. This particular group, which includes Real Housewives of New Jersey‘s Danielle Staub, Heidi Montag of The Hills infamy, The Sopranos‘ Vincent Pastore, rapper Three 6 Mafia, that Eliot Spitzer hooker and the wishy-washiest Bachelor ever, Jake Pavelka? Is not that group.

Never mind that these hasbeens/wannabes/neverweres can’t get along well enough to make a single decision, resulting in last night’s episode, where batshit-delusional Staub committed two-thirds of the group’s total budget to opening the restaurant, leaving them precious little to actually operate the restaurant once it’s in shape …

The most telling moment came when the show’s judges – actual, successful L.A. restaurateurs Lonnie Moore and Mike Malin (yes, Mike Boogie from Big Brother) – heaped praise upon the stooges for their “concept board.”

What, you may ask, was the concept board? Some fancy, printed presentation in which the celebs fully explained and illustrated their concept for a picnic-themed restaurant? Oh, no.

Their concept board, which earned them compliments not only from Moore and Malin, but also from the designer who’s going to carry out their restaurant concept, was a piece of poster board (the kind you can buy at CVS, and probably have, the night your kid tells you he needs it for his science fair project, which, oh by the way, is due tomorrow) with photos and cutouts pasted on it.

Poster board … with cutouts pasted on it. A rather shabbily-created one, too, I might add, even by poster board-with-pictures-pasted-on-it standards.

In other words, real-life, successful restaurateurs are handing over $150,000 to a group of ill-qualified celebrities to open an L.A. eatery in one of the city’s hottest areas, partly based on an art project that wouldn’t even earn a fourth grader a “C.”

So, anyone else willing to admit you’re watching Famous Food?

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• Filed in Reality
• Tags: Danielle Staub, Famous Food, Famous Food VH1, Heidi Montag, Jake Pavelka, Mike Boogie, Mike Malin, Three 6 Mafia, Vincent Pastore